Someone vandelized the cemetery where my son is buried and I need to replace the headstone apparently it was broken. I was suppose to have gone down and replaced this month but I ended up having to travel somewhere else so I didn't make the trip. (cemetries in Ga I live OK) I kinda want to go do this myself but that means waiting another 4 months (till I get a break in school) Would be disrespectful to do that?? That would mean he would left without a marker for like 6 months. It seams kinda wrong. I do have a friend who go out and do it for me, but aside from the funeral I've been able to go back there. I didn't choose the first one and I never even saw it. So I kinda want to go do things myself but I'm worried it'll seam disrespectful to leave the site unmarked for such a long time....
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08-25-2008, 05:02 AM #1
O/T Replacing my sons headstone???
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08-25-2008, 05:31 AM #2
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08-25-2008, 05:41 AM #3
Fitnessman is right, but if it really bothers you then get in touch with one of the Monument makers in the area and do it all over the phone/ internet. They will be able to engrave it and set it for you.
Personally, I think you need to do it all in person because that is a big part of the respect and grieving process.
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08-25-2008, 05:48 AM #4
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wow
not disrespectful at all...im sure he would understand...being a single father of 3 teens ..i got choked up just reading this...kudos to you for being able to even talk about it..im sure you will do whats right for you...
It seems there's always something. Tryin' to bring a good man down. I have no fear of falling. But I hate hitting the ground ...
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08-25-2008, 06:04 AM #5
Your child, as an adult, would understand anything you choose to do right now.
Do what feels right, when you can, there is no right or wrong in this case. If you need to take time, then take it. If you want to go now, then go. Don't worry about morality or courtesy, because those things don't apply in your situation.I might be out of the woods...
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08-25-2008, 06:12 AM #6
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08-25-2008, 06:15 AM #7
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I'm surprised that the cemetery isn't paying paying for it. It seems like securing their establishment is their responsibility. They should at least have something there, like a placard until you can get a chance to replace it.
But to answer your question, I don't think it's wrong or disrespectful at all.Sept of Baelor was an inside job. Wildfire can't melt stone masonry.
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08-25-2008, 06:20 AM #8
It's a few years now, which is why I want to go and do it in person. I had such hard time at the funeral and I was very sick at the time...... I don't know I just have never gotten up the strength to go the site. Which I feel bad about. So I kinda thought it would be good for me to go out in person and take care of everything.
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08-25-2008, 06:32 AM #9
They didn't pay for anything... and these things are very exspensive!! I have friends still in the area they and some others actually raised the money to replace everything that was damaged. That was really cool. I haven't seen pics but I heard theres was alot of damage done. Some people had statues that were turned over and broken, some of them were spray painted crap like that. Why anyone would vandalize a cemetery is beyond me. I felt worse the new parents though.. atleast I've had time to deal with my sons death. To have to deal with that after recently having lost a child most just be horriable.
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08-25-2008, 06:41 AM #10
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08-25-2008, 06:42 AM #11
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08-25-2008, 07:38 AM #12
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08-25-2008, 07:41 AM #13
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I agree...I don't think it's disrespectful! So sorry to hear about your loss.
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08-25-2008, 12:30 PM #14
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My son, who was 5 yrs old when he died, is buried in Ardmore, OK with my husband's family. We live in Iowa and had him cremated so we could take him down ourselves for burial a few months after his death. The monument company was great! We had to get a flat bronze plaque to meet the cemetery's requirements so we were able to get a paper proof of the headstone to check everything before it was cast. They shipped the stone to OK & it was there when we came for the graveside service. I only wish he was buried closer to us so I could put flowers on his grave!
Grieving for your child is a long process and you should follow your heart. Do the best that you can do; if that means you need to wait a few months to replace the headstone, it will be allright. I personally think you would get a lot out of being able to pick out the design for yourself.
Blessings to you!"Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived."
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08-25-2008, 02:58 PM #15
Thanks
I'm always sorry to hear anyone lost a child. I am thinking of getting the flat bronze plates. I hate to consider this but they are so exspensive you have to.... I think it would less likely to be damaged agin not much you can do to the bronze plates.... The cemetry has had problems with this before. Teenagers break in spray paint things knock them over break stuff.
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08-25-2008, 03:10 PM #16
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08-25-2008, 03:43 PM #17
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08-25-2008, 03:48 PM #18
You know they caught a group of teenagers once that managed a huge amount of damage! Like they actually brought hammers and **** to bust up the stautes and stuff like that, but all they got was a slap on the wrist.. To me they should have been held responsiable for paying the money back to the people who had to replace everything that was broken.
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08-25-2008, 03:50 PM #19
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08-25-2008, 03:56 PM #20
I agree and I wonder why they didn't?? Cause I'm telling you if they find out who did this to my child headstone I want them to pay for it!! If I had to guess I would venture to say that there was probally no hope of recovering the money from the teenagers or their parents in that case. They even ran a story in the papers about it, but nothing really came of it.
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08-25-2008, 04:04 PM #21
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08-25-2008, 04:24 PM #22
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08-25-2008, 04:26 PM #23
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If it means a lot to you to be there and pick this one out then I don't think it's disrespectful to leave it unmarked for a while. I'd hate for you to have someone else take of it, then have regrets.
Have you called your insurance company to see if this would be covered?
http://www.cemeterydepot.com/Home-Ow...nformation.php
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08-25-2008, 05:28 PM #24
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08-25-2008, 05:33 PM #25
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08-25-2008, 06:26 PM #26
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08-25-2008, 06:37 PM #27
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I am so sorry to hear this. Its not disrespectful at all for it to go like that for a length of time. Like fitty said...he is not really there anyways. My dad died when i was 15 and i can count the number of times on maybe both hands how many times I have been there...half the time its been because of a funeral there. I just know he isn't there...just like your son. But then we all deal with things differently. YOu do what you need to do. Sad to hear that they will never be held accountable for the repair of the damage. Society has really taken a beating lately on accountability.
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08-27-2008, 03:59 PM #28
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08-28-2008, 04:00 AM #29
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First let me say I am very sorry. I have buried more friends than I care to count but thank God I have not had to bury a child of mine.
One thing to consider is that since you have had a hard time returning to the site, this has provided you that opportunity. Six months will not matter to your son, but you being able to actively participate in replacing his memorial will last you a lifetime.The only easy day was yesterday. Navy SEALs
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08-28-2008, 05:25 AM #30
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