From underweight to obese in six months...

[Elise77]

Hello and welcome everyone,

I have just logged here today as I have discovered some amazing videos from bodybuilding.com on youtube and I will need all the help I get on my upcoming journey from both physically and mentally unhealthy to a healthy and happy lifestyle.

My story starts as being perfectly fine and healthy kid.
I was doing an alpine skiing on a competing level with great achievements but knee injury ended this amazing sport for me at the age of seventeen.
I was lean in good form and kept biking and swimming a lot for about two years after that. I am 172 cm/ 5'7'''inches tall and was weighting 55-8 kg/ 125-30 pounds.
Then I have all of a sudden suffered a mental breakdown and have to be hospitalised. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (BAP) and my mental health started to detoriate quickly. Six years after at the age of 25 I can say I have been through hell. Many longterm hospitalisations, suicide attemps, unfinished university, heavy medication... The physical condition went ofcourse downhill in hand with it.
I didnt wanted to accept the verdict of a mental illness so I finded comfort in food restriction and in case I thought I overate I would vomit. I think I somehow felt I deserve to be punished. At my lowest I weighted 40kg/ under 90 pounds. About 8 months ago I changed a doctor who diagnosed me with mixed eating disorder and changed my medication. After that I started to have cravings that got quickly out of my hand. I stopped vomiting, I am now overeating till I feel numb instead.
All sport I have been doing lately is just walking around the town.
I refused to weight myself ever again but today I did and I found out that I am whopping 92 kg/ 200 pounds.
My skin and my self-esteem is being ripped apart. Things need to change!

My goal is to visit gym twice a week and go swimming once a week.
Start to gain control over my food issues by eating regularly small portions of relatively healthy food.
Attend psychotherapy twice a week.
Start university again next year.

I just want to reclaim my life back.
I want it so bad that I must go and get it.



Thank you for your time while reading this...
Any motivation, advices, tips or just your opinion are more than welcome.

With love,
Elise

[MSKFAHIM]

Hello Elise,

Welcome to the forum and congrats on trying to change things for the better.

While my history does share some of the problems you are going through, many of them are things I truly cannot related to. I mean, I can understand what they are about but cannot say anything about them from experience.

Eating more/less can be tough. Trying to get into a school next year might be challenging. Not resorting to thoughts of self-harm can be hardwork if that's your thing. Having said all of that, please do realise that the common denominator of them all is YOUR choice. You are in that powerful position to choose to do different things.

I went through and still go through certain psychological issues of my own. Whenever I list all things about myself that should have been different, I do get a bit depressed. My cure for that has been the recognition of the fact that I am only accountable for driving positive changes in the domain where my actions make a difference (academic, career, eating better, sticking to lifting programs, etc). There are many things about me which disadvantage me in many ways and are completely out of my control. However, there are also many things about me that do disadvantage me but are well within my control. Instead of focusing on things I cannot possibly fix, I choose to focus my mental energy on the ones where my actions will alter my destiny. In a way, knowing that there are important things about me that I will never get to have much control over, I get motivated to work hard on the things that I do have some control over.

Since you've decided to start logging here, I'll guess that you have started feeling that kind of control too. Even if you aren't 100% there yet, I bet you are beginning to feel like YOU can drive that change that's needed to fix all of that. That's good. That's how it all starts.

There are many members on this site who will help you with all kinds of exercise and diet related things if you start posting asking questions. I wish you all the best with your goals.

[sunsean]

Please continue to consult medical professionals for your conditions. Any fitness or diet related advice from this forum would be ill-advised until you address your underlying issues. Don't treat the symptoms.

Best of luck for health and happiness in your future.

[VIslander]

You have a solid plan in place. Take it one day at a time. Enjoy the journey back. The journey is just as fun as the result.