[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part II

[2RDEYE]

I very rarely log onto the misc anymore and even more rarely do I post.

I've been on lexapro for about a month. Started at 10mg for two weeks and then the doc upped me to 20mg. Honestly the first two weeks at 10mg were tough. I've never used an SSRI and the adjustment period wasn't fun. Felt totally zonked and out of it.

My anxiety and depression has been significantly less. I dont pick fights/arguments anymore rarely which was a bad problem for me. There are still times when I feel like the medicine should be doing more/I get stuck in my own head. I dont want to be on this stuff much longer though.

Thanks for your input, I would love to try it out. LAHWF from youtube, has been using it for a while i think, and it looks like it's been doing him good. I would like a little kick for me to stand up again, I haven't smiled or laughed in a long time. Something to help me to keep moving forward like I used to be able to do.

[BigTimePlayer]

So I have a date with this girl tomorrow finally & have no idea how it's even going to go. I'm just worried she's going to ask me questions where I won't know how to answer it about dating or whatever else. I just hope I feel fine during it & not depressed or something. I also for whatever reason always have my guard up & it's hard for me to trust people. I always feel I'm going to get screwed over or something. Never dating has messed my head up with being paranoid about things.

[VocelLoser]

So I have a date with this girl tomorrow finally & have no idea how it's even going to go. I'm just worried she's going to ask me questions where I won't know how to answer it about dating or whatever else. I just hope I feel fine during it & not depressed or something. I also for whatever reason always have my guard up & it's hard for me to trust people. I always feel I'm going to get screwed over or something. Never dating has messed my head up with being paranoid about things.

I mean.. it's a good trait to have not to wear yourself on your sleeve, mate. Vulnerability should only be reserved for people you trust, and trust should only be reserved for those who've earned it. Maybe just work on not projecting a defensive distrust, since guaranteed she's also throwing walls up towards you about her life.

[theRealGriNC]

So I have a date with this girl tomorrow finally & have no idea how it's even going to go. I'm just worried she's going to ask me questions where I won't know how to answer it about dating or whatever else. I just hope I feel fine during it & not depressed or something. I also for whatever reason always have my guard up & it's hard for me to trust people. I always feel I'm going to get screwed over or something. Never dating has messed my head up with being paranoid about things.

You never know how a date will go and in the grand scheme of things it really does not matter so don't think about it too much. What are you all going to do? Dinner? Coffee?

[VocelLoser]

You never know how a date will go and in the grand scheme of things it really does not matter so don't think about it too much. Coffee?

Trying not to laugh but you're killing me over here.

[BigTimePlayer]

I mean.. it's a good trait to have not to wear yourself on your sleeve, mate. Vulnerability should only be reserved for people you trust, and trust should only be reserved for those who've earned it. Maybe just work on not projecting a defensive distrust, since guaranteed she's also throwing walls up towards you about her life.

Yeah I just always have this feeling that I'm going to get screwed over in some way. Almost like I always see the bad in people & think thoughts like people are against me or something.

[2RDEYE]

my sister got her first job, as a cashier in a fast food joint, proud of her. she's still in highschool. reminded me of when i was so "f*ck it whatever!" when I started as a young adult, job hopping from job to job. wasn't scared of whatever job it was. i just kept moving. now i'm just dead. too scared and depressed to make any move. part of it is that i already fukin worked my ass off for years. i broke my back and bended over so many times for so many companies.

[BigTimePlayer]

You never know how a date will go and in the grand scheme of things it really does not matter so don't think about it too much. What are you all going to do? Dinner? Coffee?

What do you mean by it doesn't matter? And we're going to a Sushi Restaurant after we were talking about Sushi somehow & I mentioned how I went to this one restaurant one time. Than she happened to say that was one of her favorite places so I suggested we can go there.

[theRealGriNC]

What do you mean by it doesn't matter? And we're going to a Sushi Restaurant after we were talking about Sushi somehow & I mentioned how I went to this one restaurant one time. Than she happened to say that was one of her favorite places so I suggested we can go there.

Idk I just meant it's just one date. Not a huge deal.

That sounds good bro

[theRealGriNC]

Trying not to laugh but you're killing me over here.

Lol nice edit *******

[VocelLoser]

Lol nice edit *******

Lmfao repping you off recharge.

[Fishoilman]

my depression and anxiety got so much worse the past weeks, i put on around 10lbs on the scale. i was cutting, lost all my progress too. just get the munchies the more depressed i feel. like my mind keeps telling me "**** it doesn't matter..." i admire ur attitude though man, i'm having trouble getting any positivity back. bought some chips today. already ate at least a thousand calories and it's still the AM

How's school breh? I figured that would make sht better for you...

[Fishoilman]

So I have a date with this girl tomorrow finally & have no idea how it's even going to go. I'm just worried she's going to ask me questions where I won't know how to answer it about dating or whatever else. I just hope I feel fine during it & not depressed or something. I also for whatever reason always have my guard up & it's hard for me to trust people. I always feel I'm going to get screwed over or something. Never dating has messed my head up with being paranoid about things.

Don't take things too seriously and you'll be fine breh. You'll have a lot less anxiety when you realize she is just 1/4 billion girls and no matter how royally you fuk things up, you could always do better. The other guy is talking about vulnerability is for people you trust, I think in social occasions like this it doesn't matter. Making your ego vulnerable will make you seem more confident. Answer sht as truthfully as you want, its only awkward if you make it as such.

[BigTimePlayer]

Don't take things too seriously and you'll be fine breh. You'll have a lot less anxiety when you realize she is just 1/4 billion girls and no matter how royally you fuk things up, you could always do better. The other guy is talking about vulnerability is for people you trust, I think in social occasions like this it doesn't matter. Making your ego vulnerable will make you seem more confident. Answer sht as truthfully as you want, its only awkward if you make it as such.

True, I'm going into it with nothing to lose. We've been talking for a few weeks now so I do feel more comfortable than if I would have only been talking to her for a few days or just a week. Right now I don't feel nervous at all about it, but I'm sure as it comes close to meeting tomorrow night I'll likely feel nervous.

[eod8989]

True, I'm going into it with nothing to lose. We've been talking for a few weeks now so I do feel more comfortable than if I would have only been talking to her for a few days or just a week. Right now I don't feel nervous at all about it, but I'm sure as it comes close to meeting tomorrow night I'll likely feel nervous.

You'll probably only feel nervous for the first few minutes your with her. And then you will start to enjoy the date more. The hardest part is the waiting and the first 5 minutes or so

[enzo818]

First time posting on this thread but Im happy to see the solidarity. I've been dealing with depression/anxiety very hard lately. Sometimes I feel fine, but other times I feel like a complete mess and almost break down. The only thing that helps right now is working out since I dont have time to focus on my depression when I'm running/boxing/etc. But it all comes back when I get back home alone. I'm getting some anti-depressants for the first time soon. I used to be completely against using anti-depressants but desperate times call for desperate measures. It's funny cuz I'm probably in the best shape of my life, but yet feel like complete ****t about myself. I really hope I start to feel better soon because its becoming too much of a issue in terms of school/looking for jobs.

[2RDEYE]

How's school breh? I figured that would make sht better for you...

anyways, i ended up skipping today, i emailed the dean and told him about anxiety, depression, PTSD, asked if they can help me out, maybe i can do it online or half in-class and half online. i'll see how it goes, if they can't help me i'm just going to go back to warehousing. for a time and maybe look for some shorter programs.

gonna talk to a doctor today, see what he or she says. came home when my dad was about to leave. made me almost cry because i'm being disappointing again. i wish my dad was more supportive, he just calls me lazy or useless whenever he sees me. he's a good dad, but he lacks people skills.

the doctor took a day off today

posted on the other page. school has been a ****ing disaster for me. i've never felt this mentally ****ed, stressed, and depressed in a long time. it's not for me.

don't think i'll go tomorrow either, i don't know, i didn't even buy the books, i think i'm gonna withdraw tomorrow, and look for a shorter program or something easy i can get through. i definitely do not have a healthy mind for it. if i don't drop out now, i know i'll end up dropping out later and it'll be too late for my refund. it's ****ing highschool all over again.

[eod8989]

posted on the other page. school has been a ****ing disaster for me. i've never felt this mentally ****ed, stressed, and depressed in a long time. it's not for me.

don't think i'll go tomorrow either, i don't know, i didn't even buy the books, i think i'm gonna withdraw tomorrow, and look for a shorter program or something easy i can get through. i definitely do not have a healthy mind for it. if i don't drop out now, i know i'll end up dropping out later and it'll be too late for my refund. it's ****ing highschool all over again.

That's why I didn't go to school 10 years ago. I just didn't feel mature enough or healthy enough to do something like that. I used to fall asleep in hs because I was so depressed.

Just another reason I hate being lonely. It just makes everything so hard. School, shopping, work, going out are all so hard to do alone

[2RDEYE]

That's why I didn't go to school 10 years ago. I just didn't feel mature enough or healthy enough to do something like that. I used to fall asleep in hs because I was so depressed.

Just another reason I hate being lonely. It just makes everything so hard. School, shopping, work, going out are all so hard to do alone

It really does make everything hard. Everything, alienation, depression combined with anxiety. It's like hell. All these thoughts and feelings just compounding and pounding my brain. I thought I could handle it because i'm so used to being alone. But it's like a completely different ballgame in my brain over there. Like at work, I sit by myself, I don't care, nothing happens, I have no anxiety. But wow, sitting alone at school brought back so much anxiety I had when I was in highschool. All those feelings came back. I felt so anxious and uncomfortable sitting by myself. I felt like everyone was making fun of me. I kind of want to try again tomorrow, but I have to pay $180 for a book, and i don't think it's worth it if i'm having so much mixed feelings and anxiety. Like I feel so...like literally all the uncomfortable feelings I had in highschool came back. I was already alienated for some reason. Everyone asking each other's contact numbers and ********s, ignoring me, going onto the next person, etc. I think the system is kind of worse in a way too because they keep you with the same people until you graduate from the program. That would have been an absolute even worse hell for me in highschool if it were that way.

[1fapalldey]

have you brahs tried or had any success with taking st johns wort ?

[2RDEYE]

have you brahs tried or had any success with taking st johns wort ?

I tried it years ago, I was getting upset stomach all the time. Like I threw up a little every time. I don't remember if it did anything, I think it sort of has a really low euphoric feeling like MJ.

[sean67]

Still feeling severly fking depressed. I don't even think it has anything to do with the girl that dumped me. I think its more than that now. I have so many things I should be doing but I can't even find the motivation and pursue whats important to me. I don't workout anymore, I cant bring myself to study, I feel incredibly introverted and irritable now, I don't want to interact with anyone. Idk what to do anymore, this is becoming extremely self destructive, Im aware of it, but my body and brain fail to follow through with fixes.

[Fishoilman]

It really does make everything hard. Everything, alienation, depression combined with anxiety. It's like hell. All these thoughts and feelings just compounding and pounding my brain. I thought I could handle it because i'm so used to being alone. But it's like a completely different ballgame in my brain over there. Like at work, I sit by myself, I don't care, nothing happens, I have no anxiety. But wow, sitting alone at school brought back so much anxiety I had when I was in highschool. All those feelings came back. I felt so anxious and uncomfortable sitting by myself. I felt like everyone was making fun of me. I kind of want to try again tomorrow, but I have to pay $180 for a book, and i don't think it's worth it if i'm having so much mixed feelings and anxiety. Like I feel so...like literally all the uncomfortable feelings I had in highschool came back. I was already alienated for some reason. Everyone asking each other's contact numbers and ********s, ignoring me, going onto the next person, etc. I think the system is kind of worse in a way too because they keep you with the same people until you graduate from the program. That would have been an absolute even worse hell for me in highschool if it were that way.

I don't think you have to buy the book breh, especially in your circumstance when you may end up not staying in the program. I didn't buy most of my books in university. Either had PDF versions(waay cheaper) or the professors notes.

Bro pls do yourself a favour and just join a student club. Its the perfect place to meet new friends. Find something you are even remotely interested in, everyone will be welcoming and it will be a great social atmosphere. Like I mentioned before, its kind of weird to go around in your class introducing yourself to random students, but these clubs are the perfect place for that.

First time posting on this thread but Im happy to see the solidarity. I've been dealing with depression/anxiety very hard lately. Sometimes I feel fine, but other times I feel like a complete mess and almost break down. The only thing that helps right now is working out since I dont have time to focus on my depression when I'm running/boxing/etc. But it all comes back when I get back home alone. I'm getting some anti-depressants for the first time soon. I used to be completely against using anti-depressants but desperate times call for desperate measures. It's funny cuz I'm probably in the best shape of my life, but yet feel like complete ****t about myself. I really hope I start to feel better soon because its becoming too much of a issue in terms of school/looking for jobs.

I got that a lot as well, working out was the perfect place to get over my feelings, sometimes I wish I was on all the celltech just so I could go for those 4-5 hour workouts or some dumbsht. But when I went home it all came back. You gotta stay positive and work towards what ever you're feeling badly about. Working out all day as nice as it is to tire you out and get you to forget about reality isn't going to change anything. You're going to be stuck in that loop.

[depletedopamine]

I wish I could have less self-awareness

Ignorance truly is bliss. I've pretty much been born a sub-human being 5'7 with my hairline receding already to nw3 at 22 years old, sub-par facial aesthetics and skull features. Noticing this early about myself I started lifting at 17 years old to cope out. Now that I've made all these gains and I'm still unable to accept myself, it just makes me realize that I'll probably never make it.

Everything is getting worse for me, and I'll probably spend my prime years of life being a bottom percent'er. I wish time could help, but I'm only growing older and older. I'm getting more numb and my care for anything I love is decaying at this point.

From start to finish it seems like life has to constantly remind me of what my place is in this world.

I wish I never had these thoughts

[2RDEYE]

Reaching the post limit, Link the new one here.

made a new thread:

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...post1519162161

i think the OP of this one is long gone.