Eating Disorder Support Group

[liamyo]

Tell them that you "feel like you're losing control of your life". Just echoing off of what you posted above ^^^. You DO have some issues that need to be resolved. From the looks of things, if you told your parents about what your dealing with, hell.. it doesn't even have to be your parents.. even a friend, co worker, uncle, aunt. SOMEBODY other than an online forum about your everyday struggles and your torrmented thoughts, then maybe you'd be able to get some "mental clarity" that would lead to you not wanting to live this sort of disordered life anymore.

It's all up to you.

I told a friend. Everything and in more detail, talked for about an hour. It does feel a lot better now that I've said it to a real person. Suprising how much just talking can give you so much relief haha. I ate well today, did some cardio, drank a lot of water, no guilt, no worries. its yet another "day 1" if you know what I mean, but Im optimistic about this one.

[stefm]

Hey guys, I just have a quick question:

As I already mentioned in a post, I'm a recovering anorexic, male, 21 years old, 5'6 and currently 121 lbs. What would be a good weight gaining rate? Is 1 lb per month ok or too little? Just got back into lifting again and I'm trying to eat enough (not exactly counting, too OCD for me, just eyeballing) and basically want to slow bulk.


peace guys!

[ErikTheElectric]

I told a friend. Everything and in more detail, talked for about an hour. It does feel a lot better now that I've said it to a real person. Suprising how much just talking can give you so much relief haha. I ate well today, did some cardio, drank a lot of water, no guilt, no worries. its yet another "day 1" if you know what I mean, but Im optimistic about this one.

What would you be "guilty" about? What if you did "no cardio"? What is "eating well"? These are all things that YOU have told yourself are "okay" for this process.

Ask yourself this.. 2-3 years down the road. Are these things going to have to be obligations? Cardio? Drinking Water? Eating "well"?
Think about the "end result" if you still want to keep thinking about your life in the same sense, as a whole.

On a side note, congrats on telling your friend. Maybe try someone closer, like a family member.. or someone you see on a daily basis and that's been around you since your youth.

Hey guys, I just have a quick question:

As I already mentioned in a post, I'm a recovering anorexic, male, 21 years old, 5'6 and currently 121 lbs. What would be a good weight gaining rate? Is 1 lb per month ok or too little? Just got back into lifting again and I'm trying to eat enough (not exactly counting, too OCD for me, just eyeballing) and basically want to slow bulk.


peace guys!

It's all up to you. I don't know your situation/how long you've been battling it, and most importantly.. how willing you are to recover.
But just know..

There is no ideal "gaining rate" - This is completely up to you, but from a "health perspective" someone from anorexia, actively looking to recover, 1lb a month? Is an absolute joke. Depending on your blood work/labs and your overall health situation.. That is an extremely slow amount of weight gain.
I suggest consulting your doctor.

My suggestion: Your Recovering
Disregard the terms "Bulk, Cut, gain, loss, calories, etc.

If you want to beat this.
Keep it simple. Eat, lift, have fun in life, ENJOY life, and rest..

[makeitright]

Well I've bumped up my calories slowly from around 1200 to now around 1900-1950 over the past month and have been maintaining my weight around that range now. Hopefully my body has been recovering at least a little bit with that extra energy. I know I need to bump up beyond that level to gain weight, but I guess I just have a fear of packing on the fat again and going back to where i was at 220+ lbs before I lost all the weight.

As far as the therapist goes, I called around and did some research today and am expecting a call back in the morning. It'll feel nice to get everything off my chest.

Just wanted to give a quick update on this. I finally had my first meeting/evaluation with a psychologist today who specializes in eating disorders and ocd issues. Everything went really well and it felt great to get some things off my chest to an actual person (as opposed to forums and other outlets). I explained that I would like to start working out soon in order to put on some muscle weight and she didn't seem too fond of that idea given my current BMI, saying it could be dangerous, which i understand. I need to get the go ahead from my doctor before we actually start getting really intensive with treatment but i'm feeling really good about things.

In addition, I was able to finally speak up to my family about things too. I'm pretty sure they had an idea but didn't know the full extent of things. All in all, things are looking up slowly but surely. I think i MIGHT try to ignore the food scale and calorie counting tomorrow just to see how it goes. Doesn't sound like too big of a step for most, i know, but that would be a giant leap for me. We'll see..I feel determined to do this.

[determined4000]

Just wanted to give a quick update on this. I finally had my first meeting/evaluation with a psychologist today who specializes in eating disorders and ocd issues. Everything went really well and it felt great to get some things off my chest to an actual person (as opposed to forums and other outlets). I explained that I would like to start working out soon in order to put on some muscle weight and she didn't seem too fond of that idea given my current BMI, saying it could be dangerous, which i understand. I need to get the go ahead from my doctor before we actually start getting really intensive with treatment but i'm feeling really good about things.

In addition, I was able to finally speak up to my family about things too. I'm pretty sure they had an idea but didn't know the full extent of things. All in all, things are looking up slowly but surely. I think i MIGHT try to ignore the food scale and calorie counting tomorrow just to see how it goes. Doesn't sound like too big of a step for most, i know, but that would be a giant leap for me. We'll see..I feel determined to do this.

1. Yes ditch the food scale and calorie counting
2. Gain weight before beginning to workout out in order to
a.get to a healthier weight where your body can sustain workouts
b. prove to yourself you are in a surplus so you arent tearing down muscle further when you workout

[makeitright]

1. Yes ditch the food scale and calorie counting
2. Gain weight before beginning to workout out in order to
a.get to a healthier weight where your body can sustain workouts
b. prove to yourself you are in a surplus so you arent tearing down muscle further when you workout

I'm going to try my best to ditch the scale tomorrow and not count anything this weekend. Allow family to cook and prepare meals without me being in control of them. Try being the keyword. The thing is, I'm notorious for under eating, in a non-conscious effort (how i got to this weight in the first place). I guess i'm just a bit worried that i won't eat ENOUGH without weighing/measuring/cal counting. I don't yet trust my body and mind enough to tell me when i'm hungry or full since that's been broken for so long.

[determined4000]

I'm going to try my best to ditch the scale tomorrow and not count anything this weekend. Allow family to cook and prepare meals without me being in control of them. Try being the keyword. The thing is, I'm notorious for under eating, in a non-conscious effort (how i got to this weight in the first place). I guess i'm just a bit worried that i won't eat ENOUGH without weighing/measuring/cal counting. I don't yet trust my body and mind enough to tell me when i'm hungry or full since that's been broken for so long.

No your not really worried about that
You are worried that you will eat too much
If not, you would just eat more than you thought you needed to make sure you were getting enough.
If you didnt worry about eating too much more than you did about eating too little you would just purposely eat far more than you thought you needed to heir on the side of caution.
Tell me Im wrong. I dare you.

[makeitright]

No your not really worried about that
You are worried that you will eat too much
If not, you would just eat more than you thought you needed to make sure you were getting enough.
If you didnt worry about eating too much more than you did about eating too little you would just purposely eat far more than you thought you needed to heir on the side of caution.
Tell me Im wrong. I dare you.

No, I know that's the deeper issue, I definitely do. I guess it just all boils down to me not being able to trust my hunger signals anymore. I'm going to give it my best this weekend and see how it goes. My therapist and I haven't gone about creating a plan or anything yet, and won't until next week, but i just want to see if I can do this for myself so I can report back with some positive news.

[determined4000]

No, I know that's the deeper issue, I definitely do. I guess it just all boils down to me not being able to trust my hunger signals anymore. I'm going to give it my best this weekend and see how it goes. My therapist and I haven't gone about creating a plan or anything yet, and won't until next week, but i just want to see if I can do this for myself so I can report back with some positive news.

remove yourself from the situation and imagine you are on the outside looking in seeing someone else who is 5'11" and 125lbs.
Should that person be worrying if the potato at dinner is 6oz or 8oz?
If the salad has 2 or 3 tbsp of dressing?
What's the worst that an happen? You eat more than you planned and you are closer to health and closer to getting back in the gym than if you had estimated on the side of caution. Why waste time?
Every day you should wake up and ask yourself, What am I going to do today to get better. Not tomorrow or sometime this week. Because when you put things off until tomorrow you are just allowing yourself to avoid the discomfort of really pushing yourself (what you HAVE TO DO to get better).
Today isnt even over yet. So what are you going to do right now to make a change before the day is done?

[makeitright]

remove yourself from the situation and imagine you are on the outside looking in seeing someone else who is 5'11" and 125lbs.
Should that person be worrying if the potato at dinner is 6oz or 8oz?
If the salad has 2 or 3 tbsp of dressing?
What's the worst that an happen? You eat more than you planned and you are closer to health and closer to getting back in the gym than if you had estimated on the side of caution. Why waste time?
Every day you should wake up and ask yourself, What am I going to do today to get better. Not tomorrow or sometime this week. Because when you put things off until tomorrow you are just allowing yourself to avoid the discomfort of really pushing yourself (what you HAVE TO DO to get better).
Today isnt even over yet. So what are you going to do right now to make a change before the day is done?

Well, I had gone to bed after I posted that last night hah, but today's been great. I haven't tracked/weighed/measured at all. I woke up and made breakfast and almost reached for the scale and measuring cup to weigh out my oats and whey and thought about what you had said in the text I bolded. I thought to myself "dude, you've measured out your oats every single day for god knows how long, you should know what a serving looks like by now, and so what if you go over a bit, you'll be closer to HEALTH which means closer to getting in the gym and recovering." I reminded myself of that all day today, and have just been eating freely. It's been liberating i'll have to say but still hard to stop myself from grabbing the scale and measuring spoons. I'm ready to prove to myself and everyone else that i'm serious about getting better.

I've been watching a few videos of furious pete on youtube today too. Really inspirational story. I need to see the full documentary sometime soon.

[ErikTheElectric]

Well, I had gone to bed after I posted that last night hah, but today's been great. I haven't tracked/weighed/measured at all. I woke up and made breakfast and almost reached for the scale and measuring cup to weigh out my oats and whey and thought about what you had said in the text I bolded. I thought to myself "dude, you've measured out your oats every single day for god knows how long, you should know what a serving looks like by now, and so what if you go over a bit, you'll be closer to HEALTH which means closer to getting in the gym and recovering." I reminded myself of that all day today, and have just been eating freely. It's been liberating i'll have to say but still hard to stop myself from grabbing the scale and measuring spoons. I'm ready to prove to myself and everyone else that i'm serious about getting better.

I've been watching a few videos of furious pete on youtube today too. Really inspirational story. I need to see the full documentary sometime soon.

Good to hear about ditching the scale, and the spoons. Doing that what your ED has been telling you for so long, and then finally ACTING AGAINST IT is huge. Now.. take the big step and throw away the scale, throw away the measuring spoons, and REALLY kick the ED out of your life.

Doing the BIG steps and putting the BIG changes into action are the things that get you on the road, and into recovery. Good job once again. What are your further plans for being "ready" to prove yourself and to everyone that you're "serious" about getting better?

Maybe it's time to come up with a list of some sort.

[determined4000]

Well, I had gone to bed after I posted that last night hah, but today's been great. I haven't tracked/weighed/measured at all. I woke up and made breakfast and almost reached for the scale and measuring cup to weigh out my oats and whey and thought about what you had said in the text I bolded. I thought to myself "dude, you've measured out your oats every single day for god knows how long, you should know what a serving looks like by now, and so what if you go over a bit, you'll be closer to HEALTH which means closer to getting in the gym and recovering." I reminded myself of that all day today, and have just been eating freely. It's been liberating i'll have to say but still hard to stop myself from grabbing the scale and measuring spoons. I'm ready to prove to myself and everyone else that i'm serious about getting better.

I've been watching a few videos of furious pete on youtube today too. Really inspirational story. I need to see the full documentary sometime soon.

If you did in fact not use the scale and ate freely, I am willng to bet you were happier today (albeit finding it stressful perhaps) than you ever have been since you started using it.

I also will PROMISE you that getting healthier and gaining weight will make family and friends more proud of you than anything else you can do.
1. They want you to be healthy and happy
2. They dont know but do imagine how difficult it must be for you to overcome this. So overcoming this shows them just how much effort and inner strength you are pouring into this

[makeitright]

Good to hear about ditching the scale, and the spoons. Doing that what your ED has been telling you for so long, and then finally ACTING AGAINST IT is huge. Now.. take the big step and throw away the scale, throw away the measuring spoons, and REALLY kick the ED out of your life.

Doing the BIG steps and putting the BIG changes into action are the things that get you on the road, and into recovery. Good job once again. What are your further plans for being "ready" to prove yourself and to everyone that you're "serious" about getting better?

Maybe it's time to come up with a list of some sort.

Thanks man, I'm just going to take it day by day from here on out. Trying to put my words and thoughts into action like you said are my daily goals. I think once the weight starts to come on slowly and i don't back out when i see the number on the scale increase/clothes fitting a bit better i'll really show myself and family that i'm serious about this. For too long i told myself, "i'll gain weight, i just need to get into a gym routine so i can gain healthy weight". I think i woke up when i heard so many other people expressing that ANY weight right now is healthy weight and that i can focus on building muscle once i get in the normal weight range through eating first.

If you did in fact not use the scale and ate freely, I am willng to bet you were happier today (albeit finding it stressful perhaps) than you ever have been since you started using it.

I also will PROMISE you that getting healthier and gaining weight will make family and friends more proud of you than anything else you can do.
1. They want you to be healthy and happy
2. They dont know but do imagine how difficult it must be for you to overcome this. So overcoming this shows them just how much effort and inner strength you are pouring into this

I in fact did not use the food scale at all yesterday, and you are absolutely right, yesterday was awesome..scary, but awesome. I was happier at the end of the day than I had been in a long time. It's still hard not to add up the calories in my head though, after being accustomed to doing that for so long. There was no logging on myfitnesspal though. I was planning on going to bed last night and contemplated to myself if i should have a pre-bed snack like usual, but i had no idea how much i had already actually eaten through the day without tracking so i was hesitant at first. I finally said "screw it, this can only do my body good", grabbed some cottage cheese and peanut butter and hit the sack.

Today's a new day and i'm going to hopefully try to make it as successful as yesterday, if not more. I just need to break the habit of still adding figures up in my head without myfitnesspal. That's what I need to do today.

[ErikTheElectric]

Thanks man, I'm just going to take it day by day from here on out. Trying to put my words and thoughts into action like you said are my daily goals. I think once the weight starts to come on slowly and i don't back out when i see the number on the scale increase/clothes fitting a bit better i'll really show myself and family that i'm serious about this. For too long i told myself, "i'll gain weight, i just need to get into a gym routine so i can gain healthy weight". I think i woke up when i heard so many other people expressing that ANY weight right now is healthy weight and that i can focus on building muscle once i get in the normal weight range through eating first.

Today's a new day and i'm going to hopefully try to make it as successful as yesterday, if not more. I just need to break the habit of still adding figures up in my head without myfitnesspal. That's what I need to do today.

Day by Day is a good way to go about it. But at the same time, it's also important to realize that this is something that is going to take effort, balls, determination to beat ON YOUR OWN.
Everyday you have to battle it. and everyday that you DO it will get that much easier to push the thoughts and the actions aside and live your normal life FREE of this.

As far as a "healthy weight" goes. This is what most "ED sufferers" have to struggle with mentally when incorporating a strength routine with recovery.. which "further complicates things". Which is why it's generally recommended for those in recovery to just EAT when trying to gain weight back. Because of the fact that we "as men" that are in recovery, generally and almost 100% of the time.. WANT the weight gain to be muscle mass > adipose tissue. Because of the FEAR of fat gain, but in reality.. FAT is required to live. But if you truly are having the mindset that you describe ^^^ About gaining weight/fat/muscle. Then props, and continue thinking about it the same way.

Good luck.

[ladygagafan]

Sorry to duplicate posts.... because this should have originally been posted in here..

Essentially I am a binge eater... anything that I find to taste remotely good makes me want to consume large amounts of food. I have narrowed it down to salt, saturated and trans fats, and pretty much simple carbs. If I enjoy what I am eating I tend to want to eat an absurd amount 2000 calories or so in a single sitting, and I could easily do this 2 or 3 times a day.... I am never usually hungry... I just get cravings and I act on them, unfortunately I get cravings multiple times a day.

I get a serious dopamine high while I am eating, it rivals sex.

I am sick of it though... I feel guilty that I have such low will power as I spend so much time on this site and I know so much about nutrition and bodybuilding but I can not eat properly to save my life.

Unfortunately I work in the food industry and have made a career out of it... I am around foods that can trigger these feelings all day... I am not fond of most of the food I make as it is so repetitive... but some of my favorites I succumb to while I am at work which makes avoiding it a difficult task.... Food is the biggest part of my family... we are in the food industry I know that is where my problem stems but I am the only one in my family with this portion control problem.

When ever i do start to change my eating patterns and try to focus on portion control someone puts me in a situation where I am forced to eat with them, which triggers over eating..... Or I am not prepared and I eat fast food wich triggers it.... And for the rest of the day I JUST WANT MORE!!!!

I spent alot of time narrowing down these triggers...

My plan is just to eliminate them from my diet and hope that new habits form from repetition...

I have been fighting off the urge all morning drinking black coffee instead of diet coke (yeah even the artificial crap fcuks me) And for maybe the first time in my life I bought an apple with my own money. I bought unsalted nuts.... Some very lean steak... And mrs dash to eliminate salt and some veggies and I have no intentions of adding the stuff that makes me enjoy food so much.

[makeitright]

Day by Day is a good way to go about it. But at the same time, it's also important to realize that this is something that is going to take effort, balls, determination to beat ON YOUR OWN.
Everyday you have to battle it. and everyday that you DO it will get that much easier to push the thoughts and the actions aside and live your normal life FREE of this.

As far as a "healthy weight" goes. This is what most "ED sufferers" have to struggle with mentally when incorporating a strength routine with recovery.. which "further complicates things". Which is why it's generally recommended for those in recovery to just EAT when trying to gain weight back. Because of the fact that we "as men" that are in recovery, generally and almost 100% of the time.. WANT the weight gain to be muscle mass > adipose tissue. Because of the FEAR of fat gain, but in reality.. FAT is required to live. But if you truly are having the mindset that you describe ^^^ About gaining weight/fat/muscle. Then props, and continue thinking about it the same way.

Good luck.

I damn determined to kick this thing in the ass, man. I know it's not going to be easy and it's something i'll have to wake up and face head on every day. Giving food so much power for so long, allowing it to consume me, has really taken its toll. Definitely time to turn the tables.

The fear of fat gain is also something that is very real, of course. Coming from someone that used to be overweight, of course i don't want to get back to where i was. Also though, i realize that i won't just wake up fat over night. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and seeing skin and bones though, i realize fat is vital for my health. Being cold all the time sucks..especially in the winter.

Another thing I thought about today: I need to start taking interest in other aspects of life that i used to find enjoyable but disregarded for so long because thoughts about food took priority. Reteaching myself that it's okay to have fun and enjoy myself once in awhile is something i need to work on.

[determined4000]

Another thing I thought about today: I need to start taking interest in other aspects of life that i used to find enjoyable but disregarded for so long because thoughts about food took priority. Reteaching myself that it's okay to have fun and enjoy myself once in awhile is something i need to work on.

YOLO

you only live once

[ErikTheElectric]

I damn determined to kick this thing in the ass, man. I know it's not going to be easy and it's something i'll have to wake up and face head on every day. Giving food so much power for so long, allowing it to consume me, has really taken its toll. Definitely time to turn the tables.

The fear of fat gain is also something that is very real, of course. Coming from someone that used to be overweight, of course i don't want to get back to where i was. Also though, i realize that i won't just wake up fat over night. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and seeing skin and bones though, i realize fat is vital for my health. Being cold all the time sucks..especially in the winter.

Another thing I thought about today: I need to start taking interest in other aspects of life that i used to find enjoyable but disregarded for so long because thoughts about food took priority. Reteaching myself that it's okay to have fun and enjoy myself once in awhile is something i need to work on.

I can relate to what your saying. I used to be "overweight" as well, but I had to and have to realize. It's in the past. You are no longer that individual and it would take YEARS (most likely) to get back to that point, one moment.. one meal.. one day.. one missed cardio session.. one missed workout is not going to make the damn slightest bit of difference. But your eating disorder is telling you that it will.. Do YOU think that this is rational thinking?

I would HIGHLY suggest that you start taking this opportunity to start exploring difference aspects in your life that you used to find interesting.. this is the time man. Take advantage of your recovery process..
- Relax by the beach
- Read a book or two
- Catch up with old friends
- Plop on the couch, play some video games/ TV
- Think about your FUTURE, what you want to accomplish
- Reach out to family and learn about them once more and how beautiful they are..

The possibilities are endless, but only YOU can act on them.

[makeitright]

YOLO

you only live once

Amen.

I can relate to what your saying. I used to be "overweight" as well, but I had to and have to realize. It's in the past.You are no longer that individual and it would take YEARS (most likely) to get back to that point, one moment.. one meal.. one day.. one missed cardio session.. one missed workout is not going to make the damn slightest bit of difference. But your eating disorder is telling you that it will.. Do YOU think that this is rational thinking?

I would HIGHLY suggest that you start taking this opportunity to start exploring difference aspects in your life that you used to find interesting.. this is the time man. Take advantage of your recovery process..
- Relax by the beach
- Read a book or two
- Catch up with old friends
- Plop on the couch, play some video games/ TV
- Think about your FUTURE, what you want to accomplish
- Reach out to family and learn about them once more and how beautiful they are..

The possibilities are endless, but only YOU can act on them.

Yea, that's what i have to keep reminding myself of whenever i start to get those second guesses.

Second semester of school is starting up next week so i'm really going to try to channel all of that mental energy that is usually occupied by my ED into doing well academically. I have no idea how i managed to stay focused enough through first semester to be honest.

[SilverSpork]

Whatsup fellas (and gals). Let me preface this by letting you all know I'm writting it on my blackberry which will explain grammatically error and typos.

I was very thin in highschool, around 150, at my current height. I was your typicical teenager with a fast metabolism. I would eat heaps of food, my favrotie being mozarella sticks from arbies. A very ecto type frame.

I began lifting weights my sophmore year of college, basically back when I joined this community. I was on a mad bulk. Prolly what everyone would call a dirty bulk. My buddies and I would go lift three times a week then come back to our place and feast on things like tacos or hamburger helper. I got pretty strong, and my highest weight was 220lbs. I did gain a lot of fat though. No ED at this point.

Once I graduated, I began working full time and began my career as a field geologist. I pretty much stopped lifting, but would run a lot and do bodyweight stuff because I had no access to a gym most of the time. This leaned me out tremendously, and I think I got down to 170, and retained a bit of muscle I had built. My eating was normal, didn't count caloroes or anything.

In 2011 I got a new job with another company, and moved. I took up weightlifting again, and began to watch my diet. I got very lean and pretty muscular, basically what I am right now. I hover around 180lbs these days, although I think I look like I weigh more.

Fastforward to the past 6 months....I broke up with a girl I had been dating for a very long time. I could not handle being alone in a new city that I moved to after she moved away (we moved together and everything there reminded me of her). So, I transferred to where I am right now, the D.C. Metro area. My lifting remained the same, but I began to binge heavily at night. I would literally eat 12 tacos, a box of cereal, a pint of yogurt,a box of oreas, and then some. Somehow I didn't gain more than 1 or 2 lbs throughout all of this, but I feel like my face has gotten fatter, and I've put on some bf, which must somehow mean I've lost muscle despite lifting and eating a ton. It could be all in my head I don't know.

The reason I am posting though is because I can relate to so many of your posts. The guilt you feel after you binge, how horrible you feel physically and mentally the day after. I'm not sure I do have an ED, because most of the time I eat very healthy. But I do think that it all boils down to stressors in your life, and finding temporary comfort in food. I haven't binged in a while, and I think I have it under control before I let it get too bad. I'm positive that if I didn't have such a passion for health and fitness, that I would never have began binging in the first place. I love going to the gym, and love the satisfaction it gives. I do think however that being so obsessed with it is what leads many of us to binge. I know myself, somedays I would look in the mirror, and not be happy with what I saw, so I w
ould say **** it, and eat what I wanted.

[krist7]

It's a very long story which i would be like to tell, but i think that it's still not the time, but in resume: I went from 90 kgs to 50 kgs because of anorexia(i almost died, my parents were getting divorced and i felt alone as phuck). Currently im 82 kgs and i have to admit that im better than ever even that i know i dont have the best body neither i have lots of aesthetics, but i have experience and i can tell you that with courage & heart you can acomplish anything!
feel free to ask questions, im glad to help!

[determined4000]

It's a very long story which i would be like to tell, but i think that it's still not the time, but in resume: I went from 90 kgs to 50 kgs because of anorexia(i almost died, my parents were getting divorced and i felt alone as phuck). Currently im 82 kgs and i have to admit that im better than ever even that i know i dont have the best body neither i have lots of aesthetics, but i have experience and i can tell you that with courage & heart you can acomplish anything!
feel free to ask questions, im glad to help!

sick job dude
repped
people can gain inspiration from you

[fitnessfreak6]

It's a very long story which i would be like to tell, but i think that it's still not the time, but in resume: I went from 90 kgs to 50 kgs because of anorexia(i almost died, my parents were getting divorced and i felt alone as phuck). Currently im 82 kgs and i have to admit that im better than ever even that i know i dont have the best body neither i have lots of aesthetics, but i have experience and i can tell you that with courage & heart you can acomplish anything!
feel free to ask questions, im glad to help!

Good Job! A little advice- try to go a bit depper while squatting. Keep doing what you're doing, your progress is great. What routine are you following?

[fitnessfreak6]

I've already posted this in NutMisc a few weeks ago. Wanted to share this with you guys.



Updated for 2012

[Shoot4hoops]

I have had an ED for 20 years now, everything from bulimia to anorexia, compulsive overeating. I'll recover for a few years yet slip back.

Been in therapy for 12 years, hospitalized for anorexia back in 2000 and hospitalized several times to get IV, fainting, etc. When I was hospitalized for anorexia they made me gain 50 lbs in 3 months. I went from borderline underweight to overweight. It was horrid.

Lately I went from overweight after a relapse in 2008 that forced me to eat those large meal plans and gain weight to become overweight again/borderline obese to more "in shape". I stopped seeing my therapist because she thought I was doing well and let me go, and I used the time and money to get a trainer instead.

Lost a lot of weight and body fat, yet my mental state is all over the place. I'm happy, sad. I know I need to get a new therapist yet I'm scared......the past nutritionists and therapists always had me go overweight, I don't want to be too lean.

I even thought I could get this guy I have deep feelings for because he was encouraging me to compete in figure. I'd do almost anything to get him, except jeopardize returning to the ED hospital for him. He thinks he's being positive "you look better every day", yet I can't tell him that makes it worse.

Can you really recover and be a normal weight, or do you have to become overweight and just accept it???

[ErikTheElectric]

I have had an ED for 20 years now, everything from bulimia to anorexia, compulsive overeating. I'll recover for a few years yet slip back.

Been in therapy for 12 years, hospitalized for anorexia back in 2000 and hospitalized several times to get IV, fainting, etc. When I was hospitalized for anorexia they made me gain 50 lbs in 3 months. I went from borderline underweight to overweight. It was horrid.

Lately I went from overweight after a relapse in 2008 that forced me to eat those large meal plans and gain weight to become overweight again/borderline obese to more "in shape". I stopped seeing my therapist because she thought I was doing well and let me go, and I used the time and money to get a trainer instead.

Lost a lot of weight and body fat, yet my mental state is all over the place. I'm happy, sad. I know I need to get a new therapist yet I'm scared......the past nutritionists and therapists always had me go overweight, I don't want to be too lean.

I even thought I could get this guy I have deep feelings for because he was encouraging me to compete in figure. I'd do almost anything to get him, except jeopardize returning to the ED hospital for him. He thinks he's being positive "you look better every day", yet I can't tell him that makes it worse.

Can you really recover and be a normal weight, or do you have to become overweight and just accept it???

Well it certainly seems like you've been through every sort of recovery process and have been exposed to a lot. Honestly, 20 years? Think of things as a whole. What has this given you? Taken away? It seems like you are in misery... living life in black and white.. All I took away from your post really was..

- "I was overweight, happy/sad at this point"
- "Lost weight at this point, felt happy/sad"
- "They made me gain to this point, and it was horrible"

After 20 years, I would be thinking about getting the MOST help you can at this point. Not worrying about how much weight your new therapist "is going to make you gain".

[determined4000]

After 20 years, I would be thinking about getting the MOST help you can at this point. Not worrying about how much weight your new therapist "is going to make you gain".

this

after over 7000 days of living with an ED has it been worth it?
Do you want to live one more with it?
While in the midst of my ED I can not recall one, just one day, when I was truly happy

[Shoot4hoops]

this

after over 7000 days of living with an ED has it been worth it?
Do you want to live one more with it?
While in the midst of my ED I can not recall one, just one day, when I was truly happy

Thank you, well there have been periods of recovery definitely and I was much happier. Fewer thoughts surrounded me with food, weight, diet and exercise and I "lived" more for sure. Was I happy with my size? Not really, yet when I'm truly happy with it there's always more to improve with.

I haven't been in any treatment since March so I need to find a new therapist, mine took a year off for health reasons.

Well it certainly seems like you've been through every sort of recovery process and have been exposed to a lot. Honestly, 20 years? Think of things as a whole. What has this given you? Taken away? It seems like you are in misery... living life in black and white.. All I took away from your post really was..

- "I was overweight, happy/sad at this point"
- "Lost weight at this point, felt happy/sad"
- "They made me gain to this point, and it was horrible"

After 20 years, I would be thinking about getting the MOST help you can at this point. Not worrying about how much weight your new therapist "is going to make you gain".

Yeah that is the fear factor in it for sure, especially with the renewed attention from everyone male and female "wow you look great, what are you doing". Yet I've been there and it doesn't mean that I feel great emotionally, I don't function that well and my moods are all over the place.

[EasternRay]

I am in a similar situation. I am trying to get back in shape after a few years away from the gym.

[makeitright]

Well, as of a week ago today I haven't tracked/weighed/measured or logged anything in myfitnesspal and have just been eating what family has been cooking and doing my usual. And with doing that, I'm up 1 lb. from last week. I know it's not much, but it's a step in the right direction. Feels really good. I'm damn determined to get into a healthy weight range so I can get into the gym. That's what i keep reminding myself of every time I start to get doubts.

I've been meeting with my psychologist a couple times a week and working on structured eating and all of that fun stuff. Also got the go ahead from my doctor that i'm healthy (enough) to continue outpatient treatment. Heart's in good shape, labs all came back looking fine, so that's a big relief.

I know I have a long road ahead of me, but things are finally starting to look up I feel. Just gotta stay focused and keep my head in the right place for now. Hope everyone has a great weekend.