*****The Manlets Will Rise Again***** -The Manlet Sea Part 2

[1stindoor]

RG... I'm curious what your thoughts are on Group Therapy?

I mean a lot of the people talking about Anxiety has some sort of social tie in associated with it...

In my own case... When I was in one of my Darker spots, and my mind had turned in on itself... It turned out that "Connecting with people" was a major tonic for me...

Not in the whole sense of being a member of a warm herd...

But in understanding that my problems were not unique... That they existed all across the spectrum in all walks of life...

I think the group therapy concept works well in the beginning. It's a chance for you to see that you are not unique, that others have suffered through the same challenges. But I think it can be just as addictive, that eventually you'll need the "crutch" of the group to maintain your "limp." I also think that some of those groups tend to feed upon themselves. As was mentioned earlier, "you're only in remission."

[Nainoa]

I think the group therapy concept works well in the beginning. It's a chance for you to see that you are not unique, that others have suffered through the same challenges. But I think it can be just as addictive, that eventually you'll need the "crutch" of the group to maintain your "limp." I also think that some of those groups tend to feed upon themselves. As was mentioned earlier, "you're only in remission."

Yeah I was never in Group...


For me, it's always been that I prefer an introverts life... But can turn on "Extrovert" like a switch.

So when I was in the Dark place in question... It was the introvert that was hurting me and the Extrovert was the one that helped me...

Now I'm in the reverse position... Where it's the Extrovert that's hurting me and the Introvert that's healing me.

Funny how life takes us full circle.

*****

BTW, I have some book notes brewing if you'd like me to PM you a sneak peak?

[1stindoor]

BTW, I have some book notes brewing if you'd like me to PM you a sneak peak?

By all means, please do. And in the future you don't have to ask about sending a PM. If you need my ear....you've got it.

[JamesYancey]

Really good thread

repping on charge

[real_miscer]

I cant get off this fuking site, can somebody help me ?

[1stindoor]

I cant get off this fuking site, can somebody help me ?

I'll play the "devil's advocate" and assume you're serious. Because I don't want to believe you would come into THIS thread for the "lulz." That being said, what you're describing is nothing less than the beginning of an addiction. The best advice I can give you is to turn your computer off. Find something else to do during the time you're online. If it's just this site, then clear your history in your program and next time you're tempted to read through the Misc...go to an actual news site and catch up on news from around the world.

[Nainoa]

By all means, please do. And in the future you don't have to ask about sending a PM. If you need my ear....you've got it.

Thanks Bro...

Everything is on handwritten paper so far, and is pretty rough... But I'll shoot you something when I get it all more congent.

[Random Guy]

RG... I'm curious what your thoughts are on Group Therapy?

I mean a lot of the people talking about Anxiety has some sort of social tie in associated with it...

In my own case... When I was in one of my Darker spots, and my mind had turned in on itself... It turned out that "Connecting with people" was a major tonic for me...

Not in the whole sense of being a member of a warm herd...

But in understanding that my problems were not unique... That they existed all across the spectrum in all walks of life...

I've taken entire courses in group therapy. However, I have not done group therapy but I am so willing if I ever get the chance.

Here are some basic tenets of group therapy (according to Irvin Yalow, "The Man" of modern group therapy):
-The inability to create and establish healthy relationships is at the heart of many moderate mental illnesses
-Because you are in a group setting with strangers, your interpersonal difficulities will show themselves in therapy
-Group therapy is therefore, in a sense, "practice" for your interpersonal skills in the real world
-There is a strong focus on the here and now. You do not talk about past events in group therapy
-The therapist sets the norms and guides the group but the group itself is the agent of change.

Group therapy is not a big lecture of the psychologist. It's not a classroom. After relationships within the group have been established, the group helps repair itself. For instance, if someone is acting condescending, someone in the group might point it out and give his or her thoughts and feelings about it. Likewise, other individuals will voice their thoughts and feelings. It is entirely possible that the condescending individual had no idea that he was behaving this way; however, when 6 other people tell you that you are, you notice it.

As far as being addictive, this isn't Fight Club . There are two kinds of groups: closed and open. Close group open with the same people, close with the same people and have a set deadline as to when therapy ends. Open group is rolling admissions and , according to Yalom, if an individual is unwilling to progress in therapy and is not trying, it is your ethical duty to remove them from the group so that group progress does not slow and the individual can find more appropriate means of therapy. Likewise, if an individual has improved to the point that the therapist believes the client is just here to enjoy the ride, the therapist should remove the client from the group so that others may join and prosper (in an open group).

[ramrod63]

just looking for some advice on how to overcome depression bouts
used to be a big problem for me for a long time and ive been fine for the past year or so but right now im just really out of it...pretty sure that i have another hernia and thats really ****ing with my head because the last time i got operated, the month after was probably the worse month of my life and its not something im looking forward to going through again

any advice to help relax and get my mind off of stuff because i have alot of **** going on now with school and other things and i dont have time to sit around and mope, if me having a hernia is the case, then im gonna need another outlet other than hitting the gym, just looking for suggestions

[1stindoor]

Again, I'm no trained or even educated person on the subject. But when I get depressed, the first thing I try to identify is the root cause of the depression. If it's the possibility of the hernia and an operation followed by a layoff time at the gym I would try to find something else productive to do during your normal gym time when you're in recovery. For example, you could do a lot of reading and research on a new workout plan. Try to learn more on nutrition and rest and recovery as it relates to building muscle.

or...

Use this time to find another outlet besides the gym. Try to find a little balance. Go fishing, get involved with a local charity, take up painting. Use the time to expand your horizons.

Are you pretty capable with your hands? As in working around the house? Can you take apart a washer or dryer? Do you know how to install or fix a dishwasher? Can you install ceramic tiles? I only mention these things because I tend to play catch up on all my "honey-dos" when I'm stuck at the house for an extended period. There's not much I can't do inside a house. It's only because I've never been afraid to try. There's been more than one occasion where I've had to keep my laptop online with a manual while having pieces of an appliance spread out in front of me.

[Nainoa]

just looking for some advice on how to overcome depression bouts
used to be a big problem for me for a long time and ive been fine for the past year or so but right now im just really out of it...pretty sure that i have another hernia and thats really ****ing with my head because the last time i got operated, the month after was probably the worse month of my life and its not something im looking forward to going through again

any advice to help relax and get my mind off of stuff because i have alot of **** going on now with school and other things and i dont have time to sit around and mope, if me having a hernia is the case, then im gonna need another outlet other than hitting the gym, just looking for suggestions

Well one of the things you have to stop doing is using words like "Worst."

It's a common problem...

But instead of saying "It was one of the worst months of my life." Say "It was one of the most challenging months of my life."

If you think like a victim you will turn yourself into a victim.

If you think like a person who has challenges ahead of him, then you will turn yourself into a person who faces down his challenges.

Bad **** happens to you... It's always going to happen to you... That's life...

I mutilated my left index finger last night... So if I was thinking like a victim I'd say "This is pretty much the worst day I've ever had typing in my whole life."

When really I'm looking at it as "Damn I can't believe how quickly I'm learning to type with just 9!"

If you want to be happy in life... It starts at square one with having the right attitude!

******

Something a little closer to homeopathic than going out and just getting some meds...

Take a Multi-vitamin with a good strength of Vitamin D... Or just buy some vitamin D... After a long winter, it's not uncommon to let a little Seasonal Affective Disorder creep into the system.

[Nainoa]

Again, I'm no trained or even educated person on the subject. But when I get depressed, the first thing I try to identify is the root cause of the depression. If it's the possibility of the hernia and an operation followed by a layoff time at the gym I would try to find something else productive to do during your normal gym time when you're in recovery. For example, you could do a lot of reading and research on a new workout plan. Try to learn more on nutrition and rest and recovery as it relates to building muscle.

or...

Use this time to find another outlet besides the gym. Try to find a little balance. Go fishing, get involved with a local charity, take up painting. Use the time to expand your horizons.

Are you pretty capable with your hands? As in working around the house? Can you take apart a washer or dryer? Do you know how to install or fix a dishwasher? Can you install ceramic tiles? I only mention these things because I tend to play catch up on all my "honey-dos" when I'm stuck at the house for an extended period. There's not much I can't do inside a house. It's only because I've never been afraid to try. There's been more than one occasion where I've had to keep my laptop online with a manual while having pieces of an appliance spread out in front of me.

Yeah no kidding... I think sometimes that part of what keeps me from feeling the blues and the angst I used to be so afflicted with in my youth is the fact that all my freetime is eaten up by doing "Something."

It's like that saying "Idle hands are the devil's tool box."

Well in the same way "An Idle mind, tends to turn in on itself."

******

On the bright side... I do so much... That I have yet to get a Honey Do list, as I'm always a head of it... So all I get are suggestions for the future additions to my list.... Stuff like "Honey... If you every want to you could build new pantry shelves."

[1stindoor]

On the bright side... I do so much... That I have yet to get a Honey Do list, as I'm always a head of it... So all I get are suggestions for the future additions to my list.... Stuff like "Honey... If you every want to you could build new pantry shelves."

Next time try this...leave the house for a month to practice being gone for eight months.

Come home, spend about 6 or 8 weeks there and then go away for another month or so to learn more about your job.

Come home. Try to plug in some fishing, some dates with the wife, some time with the kids, etc. Start packing your stuff up for the "next" deployment....recommend doing this in your shop outside of eyesight.

Repeat process.

And in my case, get promoted out of your job, prepare to leave for 9 months to go to school and plan to take one of your three kids with you...this way you can be both a "geographical bachelor" and a "single parent."

Remember that you truly DO love your job.

[Nainoa]

Next time try this...leave the house for a month to practice being gone for eight months.

Come home, spend about 6 or 8 weeks there and then go away for another month or so to learn more about your job.

Come home. Try to plug in some fishing, some dates with the wife, some time with the kids, etc. Start packing your stuff up for the "next" deployment....recommend doing this in your shop outside of eyesight.

Repeat process.

And in my case, get promoted out of your job, prepare to leave for 9 months to go to school and plan to take one of your three kids with you...this way you can be both a "geographical bachelor" and a "single parent."

Remember that you truly DO love your job.

I hear ya... I'm actually the first member of my family in CENTURIES to not join the Military... But I'm also the second one to graduate from College. (First was "Old Doc" who graduated from Citadel in 1914.)

But my Dad didn't go Career and was settled out by the time I was born.

[1stindoor]

I hear ya... I'm actually the first member of my family in CENTURIES to not join the Military... But I'm also the second one to graduate from College. (First was "Old Doc" who graduated from Citadel in 1914.)

But my Dad didn't go Career and was settled out by the time I was born.

I truly do love what I do. But it does present some unique challenges...and a "honey-do" list almost always follows a major absence.

[ramrod63]

Well one of the things you have to stop doing is using words like "Worst."

It's a common problem...

But instead of saying "It was one of the worst months of my life." Say "It was one of the most challenging months of my life."

If you think like a victim you will turn yourself into a victim.

If you think like a person who has challenges ahead of him, then you will turn yourself into a person who faces down his challenges.

Bad **** happens to you... It's always going to happen to you... That's life...

I mutilated my left index finger last night... So if I was thinking like a victim I'd say "This is pretty much the worst day I've ever had typing in my whole life."

When really I'm looking at it as "Damn I can't believe how quickly I'm learning to type with just 9!"

If you want to be happy in life... It starts at square one with having the right attitude!

******

Something a little closer to homeopathic than going out and just getting some meds...

Take a Multi-vitamin with a good strength of Vitamin D... Or just buy some vitamin D... After a long winter, it's not uncommon to let a little Seasonal Affective Disorder creep into the system.

thanks guys, ya i cant help but have a negative outlook on things at times and thats something i need to fix and the long winters in montreal definitely dont help especially since i cant stand cold weather

im not big on the whole im a victim thing but i do something thats just as bad if not worse, im never happy with anything i accomplish but if i accomplish something great i find a way to make it seem ****ty
example: last semester i had 3 classes, got 3 A+'s, i was happy but i kinda had in the back of my head, big deal you should have your diploma by now
and i always tend to set the bar so high for myself that i usually fail and now im actually doing really good for myself and my life is actually moving forward, going somewhere, but ive been a big fck up for the past 5-6 years and i cant get that out of my head and no matter how well im doing, i always have this depressive bouts every once in a while

one thing though that i think might be messing me up is that i had hardcore depression issues since im like 8 up until last year and even though ive seeked help ive never followed through with it and im wondering if this may be affecting me
going to bring this up when i go see a doctor about whether or not i have a hernia
dont know what im trying to achieve by posting this but im hoping that someone can maybe help me understand my situation better

[Nainoa]

thanks guys, ya i cant help but have a negative outlook on things at times and thats something i need to fix and the long winters in montreal definitely dont help especially since i cant stand cold weather

im not big on the whole im a victim thing but i do something thats just as bad if not worse, im never happy with anything i accomplish but if i accomplish something great i find a way to make it seem ****ty
example: last semester i had 3 classes, got 3 A+'s, i was happy but i kinda had in the back of my head, big deal you should have your diploma by now
and i always tend to set the bar so high for myself that i usually fail and now im actually doing really good for myself and my life is actually moving forward, going somewhere, but ive been a big fck up for the past 5-6 years and i cant get that out of my head and no matter how well im doing, i always have this depressive bouts every once in a while

one thing though that i think might be messing me up is that i had hardcore depression issues since im like 8 up until last year and even though ive seeked help ive never followed through with it and im wondering if this may be affecting me
going to bring this up when i go see a doctor about whether or not i have a hernia
dont know what im trying to achieve by posting this but im hoping that someone can maybe help me understand my situation better

Well... It's not uncommon at age 22 to get your mind turning around on you... Especially if you shut down in the winter...

Taking up ice fishing years ago really made a huge difference for me in the winter because I was engaged in something... And let me tell you, living on the ice for a couple of days straight, and the survival skills involved, teaches you something about your toughness level.

Now that's not to say that Ice fishing is the only way... But I would bet dollars to doughnuts that if you picked up a hobby like snow shoeing or skiing or cross country or picking your nose and wiping it in a hot chicks hair without being noticed, or hockey, or some kind of indoor sport like swimming...

It would go a long way towards keeping your spirits high...

And the social interaction would probably be therapudic in a way as well.

[Random Guy]

Congrats on mod-ship Nainoa! You'll make a good one Oh, and nice rep points...? lol you get mod negged when you were promoted?

[Nainoa]

Congrats on mod-ship Nainoa! You'll make a good one Oh, and nice rep points...? lol you get mod negged when you were promoted?

No I don't know what's up with that... I was at a Million... Must be a SNAFU as my mod powers are coming on line.

[1stindoor]

No I don't know what's up with that... I was at a Million... Must be a SNAFU as my mod powers are coming on line.

You were called out for nudez....and phailed...welcome to the world of misc silliness.

[1stindoor]

I never thought I'd be spilling my guts to guys on here but I just don't know what to do. My wildest dreams have finally come true and I've been made a MOD.
*******************************
Now I'm confident that I'll be a good MOD, but my issue is this...

There's only 24 hours in one day.

Currently I use them all and strangely only have time to sleep for about six minutes once every fortnight. The rest of the time is spent building furniture, being married, writing a book, writing long elloquent replies on a bodybuilding website, attempting to pull fish from ice, and going into long tedious details about my truck/steed theory, and don't even ask how much I spend on astericks every day!

*******************************

I guess what I'm asking for here is help finding another hobby.\

We're here for you.

[Nainoa]

We're here for you.

LOL...

Good One...

*Infraction Issued*

[1stindoor]

LOL...

Good One...

*Infraction Issued*

As I was having my fun I was just imagining that I was going to get my first MOD Neg or temp ban. But I was still cracking myself up as I typed.

[Nainoa]

As I was having my fun I was just imagining that I was going to get my first MOD Neg or temp ban. But I was still cracking myself up as I typed.

LOL... Yeah it was good... You came closer than most when it comes to my style...

Only things you screwed up on...

You over did the asterisks... And under-did the Ellipses...

That and I would never say something like "I can't believe I'm spilling my guts..."

I mean I am what I am and that's all that I am... I'm popeye and superman!




And you would have really sunk it in with some color prose metaphor... But I'm not as colorful in this thread as I am in others...

[1stindoor]

LOL... I mean I am what I am and that's all that I am... I'm popeye and superman!
... But I'm not as colorful in this thread as I am in others...

We wouldn't have it any other way. Congrats again, now you must learn to use your powers for good and not evil.

[Nainoa]

We wouldn't have it any other way. Congrats again, now you must learn to use your powers for good and not evil.

Yeah I've been behind the Mod Curtain now for only a matter of hours and it's already given me a much deeper respect for what they do.

Plus now I get 1 week of access to the Mod Time Share in South Beach.

[Random Guy]

Yeah I've been behind the Mod Curtain now for only a matter of hours and it's already given me a much deeper respect for what they do.

Plus now I get 1 week of access to the Mod Time Share in South Beach.

Also, you asked about group therapy and never commented on my response. Damnit, i took precious minutes of my life writing that and I demand your thoughts and opinions! You too, 1stindoor.

[Nainoa]

Also, you asked about group therapy and never commented on my response. Damnit, i took precious minutes of my life writing that and I demand your thoughts and opinions! You too, 1stindoor.

Well I thought you covered the subject quite well... But I was more asking in the stead of those people in this thread who are currently looking at therpay with curiosity.

With my MPD, I'm my own group therapy already!



*******

I think that A Lot of chronic mental illness these days has come from what I call "Disconnected living."

People can now live in relative isolation even in large cities... Because "For the Moment" we can survive and even thrive without having to work and live cooperatively.

And I think we're wired to work and live cooperatively... And when we break that wiring... It can cause a "Short Circuit" in the psyche.

[1stindoor]

I've taken entire courses in group therapy. However, I have not done group therapy but I am so willing if I ever get the chance.

I'm more of the Stuart Smalley kind..."While not a licensed therapist I have attended many 12 step programs...and dog-gone-it people like me."

Honestly I've never sat in a group environment although I have read several books on the whole 12 step process.

Here are some basic tenets of group therapy (according to Irvin Yalow, "The Man" of modern group therapy):
-The inability to create and establish healthy relationships is at the heart of many moderate mental illnesses
-Because you are in a group setting with strangers, your interpersonal difficulities will show themselves in therapy
-Group therapy is therefore, in a sense, "practice" for your interpersonal skills in the real world

While I can understand this on the intellectual side...personally it sounds like it would be more difficult to practice interpersonal skills as most of the other people are "suffering" from the same problems. Therefore you're not really adapting to many different individuals.

-There is a strong focus on the here and now. You do not talk about past events in group therapy
-The therapist sets the norms and guides the group but the group itself is the agent of change.

Group therapy is not a big lecture of the psychologist. It's not a classroom. After relationships within the group have been established, the group helps repair itself. For instance, if someone is acting condescending, someone in the group might point it out and give his or her thoughts and feelings about it. Likewise, other individuals will voice their thoughts and feelings. It is entirely possible that the condescending individual had no idea that he was behaving this way; however, when 6 other people tell you that you are, you notice it.

Now this I definitely agree with, it's the whole "common denominator" factor.

As far as being addictive, this isn't Fight Club . There are two kinds of groups: closed and open. Close group open with the same people, close with the same people and have a set deadline as to when therapy ends. Open group is rolling admissions and , according to Yalom, if an individual is unwilling to progress in therapy and is not trying, it is your ethical duty to remove them from the group so that group progress does not slow and the individual can find more appropriate means of therapy. Likewise, if an individual has improved to the point that the therapist believes the client is just here to enjoy the ride, the therapist should remove the client from the group so that others may join and prosper (in an open group).

I was not aware of the two types, outside of how it pertains to family members or significant others that wish to participate in the "group" atmosphere. I appreciate you taking the time to post your experiences and education on Group Therapy. I apologize for not taking the time to respond properly sooner.

Okay, that wasn't my best post...but that's okay....
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

Because, I?m good enough, I?m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.

[Random Guy]

I apologize for not taking the time to respond properly sooner.

lol I'm just givin ya a hard time