GF of 6 years broke up with me in Iraq

**Caesar735** · 03-24-2011, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by horriblecreation

thank you all very much for the responses, I appreciate them

I know what I need to do. Ive already deleted her and her family from my ********. I'm trying as hard as I can, but as pathetic as this makes me sound, this is the hardest thing Ive done in my life. It really does just hurt to think about. I already have a couple dates lined up with a few girls for when I get home, which is something I'm definitely looking forward to. I've always been good with girls, but obviously never cared since I loved someone for so long.

Its just hard when you have no outlet here. I feel like such a bitch with not being able to just let it go. Ya, she probably has been into someone else for a while, you guys are right. It wouldnt make sense for her just to drop me, she undoubtedly is just moving onto to something different.

Just wish I could have seen it sooner.

(99% of) bitches are dumb. So when she comes crying back to you, which they do most of the time, disregard her. Just when you're feeling over her, she'll come back with some stupid bull****. It has happened to me in ~70% of relationships, so the odds are good it will happen to you. Don't talk to her at all anymore, any emails you get from her, delete before reading. If you don't, it will just set you back to the point you are at now or worse(srs).

You're just starting life, so for now have fun hooking up with random girls, etc.

**sarasayshi** · 03-24-2011, 09:19 AM

Originally Posted by horriblecreation

thank you all very much for the responses, I appreciate them

I know what I need to do. Ive already deleted her and her family from my ********. I'm trying as hard as I can, but as pathetic as this makes me sound, this is the hardest thing Ive done in my life. It really does just hurt to think about. I already have a couple dates lined up with a few girls for when I get home, which is something I'm definitely looking forward to. I've always been good with girls, but obviously never cared since I loved someone for so long.

Its just hard when you have no outlet here. I feel like such a bitch with not being able to just let it go. Ya, she probably has been into someone else for a while, you guys are right. It wouldnt make sense for her just to drop me, she undoubtedly is just moving onto to something different.

Just wish I could have seen it sooner.

Do not think you are pathetic and no one thinks that you are pathetic for going through this.

You do need to find some sort of outlet to deal with this. That was 6 years of your life with someone and your heart got stomped on. If you do want to fall in love and get married someday, then I highly do not recommend the bro-advice on sucking it up and just banging chicks to try and push back the hurt. You only end up hurting yourself and possibly someone else. Give yourself some time to grieve the end of the relationship. That is totally acceptable and most people don't give that permission to themselves.

But have hope and faith that you will find a decent woman someday and your ex will be like chopped liver compared to her!

**Sethinole** · 03-24-2011, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by commi

Well let�s point out the elephant in the room - She cheated on you.

This girl is clearly a selfish b*tch with no heart or backbone. For her to end a 6 year relationship with a guy over msn or whatever chat you were on while he is deployed in Iraq shows what a cu*t she is.

Look at it this way you were going to marry this girl which typically means children; however this girl is clearly a selfish whore that puts herself first and has no sense of timing or when to do something and just be overall humane and courteous. Be glad this dumb bitch is not raising your children as they would have been just as ****ed as she was.

I do not condone the physical abuse of women at all but I hope this bitch gets a nice bat to the face I am just getting so angry at how selfish a woman could be to put you through this pain while you are battling for the lives of fellow soldiers, yourself, and our country. You deserve much better than a girl who would do this and you are so young so **** her and find yourself a girl who is proud to be with a man who does what most of us (including me) are too pussy to do.

Thank you for serving for our freedom and I hope you don't let this selfish bitch get to you.

This. Just be thankful you DIDN'T marry her and she tried this! Chin up my man. It definitley takes some time, but you'll be back on your feet in no time. My advice, go buy an Iraqui hooker. It'll speed the process up and make you feel better.

Thank you for serving our country.

**irishjackmp** · 03-24-2011, 10:41 AM

OP,

I am a former Army Officer (and was a Company Commander) and I saw this happen alot. (dumpings via email)

I wish I could give you some words of comfort but I know I can't. The fact that she waited until after you deployed to do this says volumes about her character. Years from now you will be glad you found out what her true character is before marrying her and you will be relived but I know that doesn't take away the present pain.

You almost certainly were looking at her as your "anchor" back in the real world and that has suddently been taken away and I am sure it feels like you have just been punched in the gut. You have already started down the right track (deleteing her from FB along with her family). Don't look at her ******** @ all as nothing good can come of it. When you let your friends know what happened, please ask them not to tell you how she is doing or to bring up her name as you don't want reminders of her @ all.

I won't sit here and just tell you to be "Alpha" as you wouldn't be human being down. What I will tell you is two things...

1) Under no circumstances do you let her see you weak. That means no long emo emails to her asking for her back, no phone calls, no talking to her friends telling them how hard it has been on you (it will get back to her) etc... Simply don't give her the satisfaction of know how bad this hurt you.

2) Whatever you do, don't let this distract you from accomplishing your real world mission. I don't know what assignment you currently have or how much danger it puts you in but when you are on a mission, don't let your mind wander so to speak. Keep your 'head in the game". The moments to let your guard down are when you are back in you quaters @ night.... not when you are exposed to danger.

3) When she emails you in a few months to "see how you are doing" remember she doesn't really want to know how you are doing, she just really is looking for you to make her feel bertter for dumping you in such a sh*tty way. So when you get that email (and you will), don't respond.

I wish I could say more. Do your best to focus on your mission and coming back alive.

Stay safe and Godspeed.

**kingof_queens** · 03-24-2011, 11:01 AM

OP, please listen to the great advice given to you in this thread.

Just accept that it's over, and move on. No ifs, ands or buts. No contact, *what so ever* should be made. Ignore any and all emails or calls. Forget her.

Time heals everything. Just keep your head up and look forward to the future.

Stay safe over there, and thank you for your service to our country.

**SirTerrythe3rd** · 03-24-2011, 12:44 PM

I don't see how people can be so fickle with other people's hearts. Women get mad @ men for us looking at them objectively, but I think it's worse to objectify the heart, which so many women do. They'll raise hell for an unexpected one night stand, but will cut you out of their life after 3-6 years without a grain of guilt, with a new guy already in the picture. Just sucks knowing that I am the family man by nature, but it sucks that there is a strong possibility that I may lose them. And I know that I almost need to be a family man. I won't be happy until I do have that family.

**dark-m** · 03-24-2011, 01:23 PM

its for the best

you are 23, and in a looooong distance relationship...those dont work out, especially with values and morals in america. dating since high school, i'm surprised it lasted this long

tell her good luck and cya (dont bother fighting for it, its dead and buried srsly)

you may hurt for a bit (6 months minimum I imagine) but start talking to friends and especially other women, get laid and take care of yourself out there

in 2 years youll be thinking & laughing "why the hell was I with her in the first place anyway?"

most of us been there done that, experience talking

**b0ngman** · 03-24-2011, 01:25 PM

bro you are a good looking guy and went to west point... panties will be dropping for you when you get back to the states... look forward to this and forget about her

**Gris419** · 03-24-2011, 01:34 PM

Op just remember this you're from West Point. Like the guy said above me there will be plenty of other women out there for you. Especially ones with better looks, character and just a general sense of not being a succubus. Op don't settle down untill your older your marriage is more likely to fail. If I were you I'd wait untill 28-34 age range.

**dynamicfoe** · 03-24-2011, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by Gris419

Op just remember this you're from West Point. Like the guy said above me there will be plenty of other women out there for you. Especially ones with better looks, character and just a general sense of not being a succubus. Op don't settle down untill your older your marriage is more likely to fail. If I were you I'd wait untill 28-34 age range.

I agreed with this. At least you didn't find out she was cheating when you guys are about to get married and have kids. The situation could be worse. Keep yah heads up bro.

**Fr4nk** · 03-24-2011, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by kineticforce

why do women do this to soliders ????????

What does being a soldier have to do with anything? People will be people. Get over it.

**hitthesky** · 03-24-2011, 02:51 PM

dont really have anything much to contribute that hasn't already been said but thanks for serving and hopefully your time away will help. don't let it run your mind or you will put yourself in grave danger when in action though. good luck and stay safe

**Freedirt** · 03-24-2011, 03:58 PM

Tell her to join the forums so I can neg her.

**DDoc** · 03-24-2011, 04:13 PM

I have never been in a situation like that so I can't give you any real advice. All I can say is that is a messed up thing to deal with and I hope you come out ok, both the break up and Iraq. Good luck.

**Manjaco** · 03-24-2011, 04:32 PM

I had my girl do this to me the day before she was suppossed to come visit me after not seeing her for a month(long distance relationship). We were together for 4 1/2 years and she said she wasn't able to love me anymore. She came over a few days later to "talk" but it really was to see how ****ty I felt. She asked to stay the night and I was beta said yes. She spent an hour here constantly on her phone before I asked who she was talking to. Ended up being one of my friends from her(my old) college. I got mad as **** we fought and she left. 3 weeks later they were "in a relationship" on FB. The long distance thing makes women feel insecure and because of this they look for reassurance from those around them. She waited until you left because not seeing you makes you less of a person and more of a memory which makes it easier to treat you like ****.
What everyone has said is true. Two weeks after she was "in a relationship" she hit me with a 'hey' text and I ignored it. 6 days after that i got a drunken text about why didn't we work out I would have done anything for you bs, I ignored that as well and haven't heard from here since. This was just before christmas and the best advice I can give is to delete her off FB(which you've done) and remove everything you can that reminds you of her. I threw away so much **** it was retarded. But I can't tell you how much it helped me. Keep your head up bro and don't let these ****head girls bring you down. It's gonna suck for a while but time heals everything. This is what everyone told me and I didn't believe them but it does and has for me. Good luck in Iraq man and thank you for your service. God bless brother and come home safe.

**SirTerrythe3rd** · 03-24-2011, 04:55 PM

Have to agree with time healing these wounds as well. In due time you'll be ok. You'll have good and bad memories that'll gnaw at you for a time, but everybody gets their heartbroken...doesn't make it ok, but it's everyone's reality just like death.

**FunSize1990** · 03-24-2011, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by Fr4nk

What does being a soldier have to do with anything? People will be people. Get over it.

Maybe because they are risking their lives to protect us has something to do with it?

So as an ultimite insult, He goes to protect peoples liberties and she suddenly decides to give him a Dear John.

Seriously, How ignorant do you need to be to make such a stupid general statement?

**JMath** · 03-24-2011, 06:25 PM

Honestly, consider yourself lucky. I was in the Army, and can't even count the times that guy's wives cheated on them and acted like nothing happened while they were deployed. I'm sure you've heard stories too. It's not exactly rare for military wives to cheat while husbands are on deployment. So be happy that she least was respectful enough to end the relationship and not string you along like a sucker. It sucks, but almost anytime someone breaks up with you it sucks... so all you can do is move on and be happy she didn't get knocked up by some other dude and surprise you when you get back from deployment (I saw that happen too).

**horriblecreation** · 03-25-2011, 04:33 AM

Hey, you guys are awesome. I know its just an internet forum, but this was literally the first time I talked about this to anyone since it happened about 3 weeks ago. It made me feel pretty good to read what everyone was saying. I deleted and now have blocked her from ********, gmail, and everything else. She literally doesnt exist anywhere but my mind for now. Working on deleting that one too lol. But again, thanks guys. **** sucks, but its all uphill from here.

**ezmac31** · 03-25-2011, 05:55 AM

deployments are rough OP, but you will get through. at least unless you are in some ****ty outpost somewhere, you likely have a sick gym, good food, and movies/cards/vids to keep you busy so you arent tempted to get back to her. Probably makes your time in the box slow way down thinking about her which is the last thing you want, but it will pass and by time you get home and you can grow from this. stay tough and keep that head down!

**commi** · 03-25-2011, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by Fr4nk

What does being a soldier have to do with anything? People will be people. Get over it.

By your vague response I will assume you did not read the op. The situation is relevant because when you have been in a 6 year relationship with someone you owe it to them to not break up with them over internet chat while they are stationed at war. Very rude, selfish, and disrespectful. In fact this is the main reason why women never were and hopefully never will be in power. They act on emotion not logic � Can you imagine a country being run by such stupidity?

Do you not think the girl should have thought that her boyfriend would be put through enough being at war? Do you think that after 6 years with him she owes it to him to not put such a heavy burden on his mind while he is fighting for his life? I am sure you have been dumped before and know how it feels... you think about it 24/7 for weeks. Now just imagine that being on your mind while people are trying to kill you. The issue with this girl and women in general is that they are so selfish and conceded that they will only think of the benefits for themselves and never how their actions will affect people around them.

Even my brother is waiting until his girlfriend is done her exams and is entering the summer break before he ends their 2 year relationship and we are only talking about exams here not being shot and having your life be put in danger.

**chappy86** · 03-25-2011, 07:24 AM

Originally Posted by kineticforce

why do women do this to soliders ????????

cuz they're *******s

**threeoneg** · 03-25-2011, 08:30 AM

My dad had a gf of 4 yrs when he went to the nam. He ended up losing his leg above the knee in a night ambush...His gf never visited him in the hospital, and she never contacted him again. It's a lesson in character...If that scenario never happened, I would have never been born. Most of my friends are happy that i was born, haha

**DanAC** · 03-25-2011, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by horriblecreation

she tells me she doesnt love me anymore. Says that our relationship was toxic, and that she just wants to be herself for a while. Translation is that I assume there is another guy at school (she doesnt graduate for another 2 months), and me being deployed makes it easier to cut ties.

What do I do to feel better about this guys? I am so lost. For the first time in my life, everything just hurts. I'm normally such a happy person

Hey bud, I've been going through the same thing as you. My girlfriend dumped me 4 months ago after we had been dating for almost 2 years. She met someone at her work and she felt like he was a better match for her. I'm glad she was honest and told me up front that he was the reason why she was dumping me.

In order for you to feel better, I would hang out with the guys as much as you can. Go out for drinks and get wasted. Have fun basically. Don't start dating any other chicks until you know you are ready.

I started seeing a girl the same week I got dumped, because I didn't want to sit around idle while my ex-gf was being plowed every night by her new boyfriend. However, I just ended things with that girl and I feel empty again. So my suggest is to just chill with the boys for now. And start dating again when you know the time is right.

Sorry to hear about your situation. But I'm glad you decided to share and talk about it. Hopefully what I've said has made you feel a little bit better since you know you're not alone!

**Fr4nk** · 03-25-2011, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by FunSize1990

Maybe because they are risking their lives to protect us has something to do with it?

So as an ultimite insult, He goes to protect peoples liberties and she suddenly decides to give him a Dear John.

Seriously, How ignorant do you need to be to make such a stupid general statement?

Protect us from what? Just exactly what do you think is out to get us? You're aware that countries like America are taking matters into their own hands for "terrorism" and because their country's leaders are treating them inhumanely? In the grand scheme of things they're after oil and other resources. Soldiers are regular people that chose their profession just like you chose yours. Stop being a sensitive twat.

Originally Posted by commi

By your vague response I will assume you did not read the op. The situation is relevant because when you have been in a 6 year relationship with someone you owe it to them to not break up with them over internet chat while they are stationed at war. Very rude, selfish, and disrespectful. In fact this is the main reason why women never were and hopefully never will be in power. They act on emotion not logic � Can you imagine a country being run by such stupidity?

Do you not think the girl should have thought that her boyfriend would be put through enough being at war? Do you think that after 6 years with him she owes it to him to not put such a heavy burden on his mind while he is fighting for his life? I am sure you have been dumped before and know how it feels... you think about it 24/7 for weeks. Now just imagine that being on your mind while people are trying to kill you. The issue with this girl and women in general is that they are so selfish and conceded that they will only think of the benefits for themselves and never how their actions will affect people around them.

Even my brother is waiting until his girlfriend is done her exams and is entering the summer break before he ends their 2 year relationship and we are only talking about exams here not being shot and having your life be put in danger.

Again, as I stated above, stop being a sensitive twat. Hello? This is the 21st century. You think this didn't happen 60 years ago? I've read stories of bitches breaking up with soldiers during WWII and guess what? They lived. They found other girls. 6 years ain't ****.

**heyfunboy** · 03-25-2011, 08:03 PM

Why the hell is she going to Oxford after West Point? You are required to serve five years of active duty upon graduation of West Point. She won't be ****ing going to Oxford. Over my dead ass she will be, hell I paid for her education. She can't just all of a sudden bail on the taxpayers and system. Hell ****ing no it does not work that way.

**.aeterna** · 03-25-2011, 08:44 PM

OP, sorry to hear that, but its over and u taking steps backwards will put you deeper into a rut.

take it one day at a time and keep moving forward, even if its an inch at a time

u may not see it right now, but ur actually in a great place to recover. u got ur bros in iraq all around you - confide in one or two of your best friends and let them know whatsup. ask for them to keep you in line. tell them to call you out if u start acting like a bitch

serious advice.. lol

**FunSize1990** · 03-25-2011, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by Fr4nk

Protect us from what? Just exactly what do you think is out to get us? You're aware that countries like America are taking matters into their own hands for "terrorism" and because their country's leaders are treating them inhumanely? In the grand scheme of things they're after oil and other resources. Soldiers are regular people that chose their profession just like you chose yours. Stop being a sensitive twat.
****.

So because of your hate of America, You project this onto a poor guy who got dumped, And instead of offering anything into the conversation you whinge like a conservative bitch. Just because he is part of the grand design.

Go to the RP section, Stay classy *******.

**IronRingGymnast** · 03-25-2011, 08:59 PM

Originally Posted by heyfunboy

Why the hell is she going to Oxford after West Point? You are required to serve five years of active duty upon graduation of West Point. She won't be ****ing going to Oxford. Over my dead ass she will be, hell I paid for her education. She can't just all of a sudden bail on the taxpayers and system. Hell ****ing no it does not work that way.

Rhode's Scholarship

edit: SHE WILL be going to Oxford under the Rhode's Scholarship. Every year about 1 person from West Point, Annapolis, and the USAFA get the scholarship.

used to attend Annapolis myself...

Originally Posted by FunSize1990

Maybe because they are risking their lives to protect us has something to do with it?

So as an ultimite insult, He goes to protect peoples liberties and she suddenly decides to give him a Dear John.

Seriously, How ignorant do you need to be to make such a stupid general statement?

No, being a soldier doesn't mean you get special treatment in terms of relationships. If anything it means you get less.

**Bones98** · 03-25-2011, 09:04 PM

Damn, brah, sorry to hear.

At least it's over now and that you don't have to deal with it later. Thank god you're not married or else this **** would've make a huge dent in your wallet. Stay strong brah and thanks for serving our country

Thread: GF of 6 years broke up with me in Iraq

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