Tomorrow, we find out if BBMG is a man of his word

[blueberryboy]

If he actually did send that, it’s him consciously or unconsciously trying to fail so he can tell himself and everyone else how unfair it all is and how awful his love life is because that’s obviously a large part of his identity now.

If you think about it..it's an incredible deranged stance to take In life :

No passion , no self confidence, dude literally went neet because " society didn't give him what he wants "

He really needs to stop being so easily impressionable by these other miserable losers in life that he clearly listens to avidly

[donblaximus]

If you think about it..it's an incredible deranged stance to take In life :

No passion , no self confidence, dude literally went neet because " society didn't give him what he wants "

He really needs to stop being so easily impressionable by these other miserable losers in life that he clearly listens to avidly

Actually.....most people take this stance in life in differing degrees. I also catch myself subconsciously with negative thoughts and have to fight them. The mind blowing one on this occasion is that this was literally planned for days. Yet still he finds a way to flub up the text.

[dudeguy2019]

If he actually did send that, it’s him consciously or unconsciously trying to fail so he can tell himself and everyone else how unfair it all is and how awful his love life is because that’s obviously a large part of his identity now.

Spot on. It's the built in "ego failsafe" ripcord.

I am new to this board and learning the ins/outs. I hate seeing guys self-sabotage.

[BigBallsMcgee]

All good except that last line. Jeezus.....

I'm trying to add something light to it. I can take that out, I'm sending it after work

[blueberryboy]

Actually.....most people take this stance in life in differing degrees. I also catch myself subconsciously with negative thoughts and have to fight them. The mind blowing one on this occasion is that this was literally planned for days. Yet still he finds a way to flub up the text.

True that last line just shows he is unsure of himself

People won't buy into people who aren't sure of themselves. He doesn't even believe in his own doings. People wanna deal with people who are sure and confident in their behavior

[BigBallsMcgee]

I am not surprised......as admittedly he doesnt do this often. But its still cringe as he could have gotten advice from people that do it all the time. Even without that last line its still comes across as a little weird. Not totally cringe but kind of weird. The last line was the killer.

Ok, if it's weird what am I supposed to do? Should I not do it

[Bigbuster1]

You can’t “ask out” a girl you’re already friends with lol.

You just go out under false pretenses “as friends”, get her loaded, and make a move her on and hope the best

[TappingTheZen]

I'm trying to add something light to it. I can take that out, I'm sending it after work

Personally i'd advise re-writing it with more confidence.

Write it in a way that conveys that you're confident in yourself, and you don't consider rejection likely. Tell her you're taking her on a date, don't ask her. (obviously she can still say no, but the difference between asking and telling in how you convey yourself is dramatic)

[BigBallsMcgee]

True that last night just shows he is unsure of himself

People won't buy into people who aren't sure of themselves. He doesn't even believe in his own doings. People wanna deal with people who are sure and confident in their behavior

Blind confidence is also a bad idea. I'm not afraid to admit when I'm not sure and there are tough choices.

[miscinbro]

Actually.....most people take this stance in life in differing degrees. I also catch myself subconsciously with negative thoughts and have to fight them. The mind blowing one on this occasion is that this was literally planned for days. Yet still he finds a way to flub up the text.

I think there is a difference between what you’re talking about and what I claimed OP was doing. A few months ago I applied for a position I really probably wasn’t going to get, but depending on what they valued the position could have been a good fit for me and it wasn’t impossible. Mentally I was very prepared for a nice rejection (which I got) - that didn’t mean I still didn’t give it my best shot.

[donblaximus]

I'm trying to add something light to it. I can take that out, I'm sending it after work

Ahhhh whew. Glad you havent sent it yet. Yes....take that out is my vote.

[BigBallsMcgee]

You can’t “ask out” a girl you’re already friends with lol.

You just go out under false pretenses “as friends”, get her loaded, and make a move her on and hope the best

This will never happen, she'll know I'm trying to take her out. May as well admit it

[donblaximus]

True that last line just shows he is unsure of himself

People won't buy into people who aren't sure of themselves. He doesn't even believe in his own doings. People wanna deal with people who are sure and confident in their behavior

We all already know (including Nina) that he is unsure of himself. That last line just makes something that is already awkward even more awkward.

[TappingTheZen]

Blind confidence is also a bad idea. I'm not afraid to admit when I'm not sure and there are tough choices.

It doesn't matter if you're actually unsure, you shouldn't act like you are.

[donblaximus]

Ok, if it's weird what am I supposed to do? Should I not do it

No by all means do it. But I as well have others have given you the advice but you refuse to listen.

Nina, hope you had a great trip!
There is this new XYZ spot or The XYZ Game is happening on XYZ. You want to go on a date?

Leave it at that. Now disclaimer.....thats not the way I would do it but since you insisted you wanted to make it very clear you are asking her out on a date that I catered the verbiage to your needs.

If I were sending

Hey Nina, hope you had a great trip. Theres this new place I have been wanting to try. I have heard great things about the food and the vibe seems cool. Want to grab dinner there next week?

Then at the actual place you can let her know that your feelings for her have changed. Thats what I would personally do.

[BigBallsMcgee]

Personally i'd advise re-writing it with more confidence.

Write it in a way that conveys that you're confident in yourself, and you don't consider rejection likely. Tell her you're taking her on a date, don't ask her. (obviously she can still say no, but the difference between asking and telling in how you convey yourself is dramatic)

This is my friend, she isn't sine random tinder sloot. It would be weird if I sounded that cocky out of nowhere in addition to throwing this out there from nowhere in the first place. "Telling " her is not the way.

I'm open wordsmithing to the text but it can't be that cocky nonsense.

[BigBallsMcgee]

No by all means do it. But I as well have others have given you the advice but you refuse to listen.

Nina, hope you had a great trip!
There is this new XYZ spot or The XYZ Game is happening on XYZ. You want to go on a date?

Leave it at that. Now disclaimer.....thats not the way I would do it but since you insisted you wanted to make it very clear you are asking her out on a date that I catered the verbiage to your needs.

If I were sending

Hey Nina, hope you had a great trip. Theres this new place I have been wanting to try. I have heard great things about the food and the vibe seems cool. Want to grab dinner there next week?

Then at the actual place you can let her know that your feelings for her have changed. Thats what I would personally do.

Ok thank you, i feel you and it makes sense.

There are 2 reasons I am not doing it that way telling her the plan.

1. I have absolutely no plan. I legitimately have zero expectation this will work and I didn't bother coming up with a plan.

2. This will be so random and out of place that she is going to know its a date. She will know. Id rather we just acknowledge it than have her decline an apparently ambiguous invite to hangout, or even accept it if she somehow thinks it's platonic

[donblaximus]

Ok thank you, i feel you and it makes sense.

There are 2 reasons I am not doing it that way telling her the plan.

1. I have absolutely no plan. I legitimately have zero expectation this will work and I didn't bother coming up with a plan.

2. This will be so random and out of place that she is going to know its a date. She will know. Id rather we just acknowledge it than have her decline an apparently ambiguous invite to hangout, or even accept it if she somehow thinks it's platonic

If you have no plan and you refuse to spend anytime thinking about it then you are already infusing the defeatist mentality into the motion.
Why even bother to do it if you are 100% sure it wont work.
If there is a 1% chance it could, we are advising you to have a plan. Women dont like it when there is no plan. Trust me.

[Akd123]

Truth of the matter is hes a entitled, unintelligent little crybaby ph@ggot who does not deserve even a 1/10 whale. If this is even real, if he actually tried, he could almost gaurantee at least one date if he played his cards right. People are stupid and anyone can be manipulated into doing anything but he will do the bare bones minimum just to say he told us so. Hes a little arsehole ph@ggot that deserves what he gets and she probably deserves better than him. And this is the damn truth

[Akd123]

No by all means do it. But I as well have others have given you the advice but you refuse to listen.

Nina, hope you had a great trip!
There is this new XYZ spot or The XYZ Game is happening on XYZ. You want to go on a date?

Leave it at that. Now disclaimer.....thats not the way I would do it but since you insisted you wanted to make it very clear you are asking her out on a date that I catered the verbiage to your needs.

If I were sending

Hey Nina, hope you had a great trip. Theres this new place I have been wanting to try. I have heard great things about the food and the vibe seems cool. Want to grab dinner there next week?

Then at the actual place you can let her know that your feelings for her have changed. Thats what I would personally do.

This is the correct way to do it.

[BigBallsMcgee]

If you have no plan and you refuse to spend anytime thinking about it then you are already infusing the defeatist mentality into the motion.
Why even bother to do it if you are 100% sure it wont work.
If there is a 1% chance it could, we are advising you to have a plan. Women dont like it when there is no plan. Trust me.

Great question, I've been asking myself why I'm even doing this. The reason is that I don't want to live my life alone without even trying. I know it won't work. But if I at least try that's better than nothing.

I don't have a plan cause it is not going matter what the plan is. She's going to say no

[BigBallsMcgee]

Truth of the matter is hes a entitled, unintelligent little crybaby ph@ggot who does not deserve even a 1/10 whale. If this is even real, if he actually tried, he could almost gaurantee at least one date if he played his cards right. People are stupid and anyone can be manipulated into doing anything but he will do the bare bones minimum just to say he told us so. Hes a little arsehole ph@ggot that deserves what he gets and she probably deserves better than him. And this is the damn truth

You're an absolute idiot. GUARANTEE a date?!? I could offer to take this girl to the moon and she will say no because SHE ISN'T INTERESTED.


I know that and I'm STILL doing it.

[donblaximus]

Great question, I've been asking myself why I'm even doing this. The reason is that I don't want to live my life alone without even trying. I know it won't work. But if I at least try that's better than nothing.

I don't have a plan cause it is not going matter what the plan is. She's going to say no

"I dont want to live my life alone without even trying"

Well guess what man.....you are going through the motions but you are not actually trying. Trying would constitute having a plan. Asking anyone for their time (not just a girl on a date) without a plan is just plain lazy. Thats like the obese person crying because they cant lose weight yet they havent actually really tried.
When people do that to me in business....they are lucky to even get a response. And women are exponentially more tied to "a plan" when it comes to non business type stuff.

Even with my wife of 10 years.......she responds completely different with a plan then without. Its just the way women are wired.

[BigBallsMcgee]

Yo Nina, hope your trip was a good time with your fam and friends.

I'm actually texting to ask if you would want to go on a date with me sometime. I realized I'd like to do it so throwing it out there.

Nothing crazy, just dinner and a walk. Let me know.



How's that. Generic but there is a plan at the end

[Anachron]

No by all means do it. But I as well have others have given you the advice but you refuse to listen.

Nina, hope you had a great trip!
There is this new XYZ spot or The XYZ Game is happening on XYZ. You want to go on a date?

Leave it at that. Now disclaimer.....thats not the way I would do it but since you insisted you wanted to make it very clear you are asking her out on a date that I catered the verbiage to your needs.

If I were sending

Hey Nina, hope you had a great trip. Theres this new place I have been wanting to try. I have heard great things about the food and the vibe seems cool. Want to grab dinner there next week?

Then at the actual place you can let her know that your feelings for her have changed. Thats what I would personally do.

100% this, repped.

Definitely leave the discussion whether it's a date or not to be in person.

I would even put in a specific evening in there myself ( I.e. create perception that I am going regardless - but then again I would be anyway).

[BigBallsMcgee]

"I dont want to live my life alone without even trying"

Well guess what man.....you are going through the motions but you are not actually trying. Trying would constitute having a plan. Asking anyone for their time (not just a girl on a date) without a plan is just plain lazy. Thats like the obese person crying because they cant lose weight yet they havent actually really tried.
When people do that to me in business....they are lucky to even get a response. And women are exponentially more tied to "a plan" when it comes to non business type stuff.

Even with my wife of 10 years.......she responds completely different with a plan then without. Its just the way women are wired.

See my edit above.

I agree with what you're saying. It just isn't going to make difference in thus case, she doesn't like me

[Anachron]

Yo Nina, hope your trip was a good time with your fam and friends.

I'm actually texting to ask if you would want to go on a date with me sometime. I realized I'd like to do it so throwing it out there.

Nothing crazy, just dinner and a walk. Let me know.



How's that. Generic but there is a plan at the end

Brah, why are you not listening to any of the advice given in this thread?

Where dafuq does "I am actually texting you" even come from?

Go with donblaximus's text, and not the one he catered to you, the second version.

[donblaximus]

Yo Nina, hope your trip was a good time with your fam and friends.

I'm actually texting to ask if you would want to go on a date with me sometime. I realized I'd like to do it so throwing it out there.

Nothing crazy, just dinner and a walk. Let me know.



How's that. Generic but there is a plan at the end

Its definitely better than your original text however you are adding in words that are unnecessary. This is probably again your subconscious will to want things to fail. (I am not trying to diss you hear....just stating the facts)

Words like "i am actually" - lose that. Does not add any value
"Nothing crazy" - lose that unless you have done crazy things in the past together
"let me know" - lose that

So then its

Nina, hope you had a good trip. I realized id like to take you out on a date. Maybe dinner and a walk next week?

Thats it. But you need to give her a timeframe. and again.....women like it when you have a plan but if you refuse to name a place then so be it.

[Anachron]

Its definitely better than your original text however you are adding in words that are unnecessary. This is probably again your subconscious will to want things to fail. (I am not trying to diss you hear....just stating the facts)

Words like "i am actually" - lose that. Does not add any value
"Nothing crazy" - lose that unless you have done crazy things in the past together
"let me know" - lose that

So then its

Nina, hope you had a good trip. I realized id like to take you out on a date. Maybe dinner and a walk next week?

Thats it. But you need to give her a timeframe. and again.....women like it when you have a plan but if you refuse to name a place then so be it.

He wants to fail.

There is no other explanation.



Edit : Just how hard is picking a restaurant and adding the specific time-frame?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[donblaximus]

100% this, repped.

Definitely leave the discussion whether it's a date or not to be in person.

I would even put in a specific evening in there myself ( I.e. create perception that I am going regardless - but then again I would be anyway).

You and I think alike....i would almost always have a specific day planned but I was trying to put myself in OPs shoes and she probably wouldnt believe he had a busy schedule or would be going there anyways so left that out

Trying to be succinct, relaxed but not come across too confident since OP isnt confidence and 100% his friend knows this.