What rustles your jimmies - Part II

[Fawnl]

I have kids and I hate this. I haven't experienced the team stuff yet because my kids are not old enough yet to be on a team where winning matters like in high school sports, etc. But every kid who signs up has to play whether they are good or not. It wasn't that way when I was a kid, even with 7-year-olds. If you weren't good enough, you didn't play.

What I see more of is the parents who think their kids do no wrong. My son had some behavior problems in preschool and his teacher made a comment thanking us for being so receptive and trying to help because so many parents refuse to believe their children ever misbehave or think the teachers are making too big a deal out of things. Recently my son has been having an issue with another kid in his class(sometimes I really worry about what he's going to be like as a teenager - srs. And that situation is enough to rustle my jimmies but I won't bore anyone with it) and his teacher told me the same thing the preschool teacher did, thanking me for taking it seriously. WTF is with these parents who think their child is always an angel? Because I ain't buying that they never act up at home. Of course, they are probably the same parents who let their children talk to them any way they please so they think nothing of it when their teacher says they act like a smart azz.

This describes my sister. She thinks her son is a GENIUS, so smart, and SUCH an angel. She told me that she never calls her son stubborn or hard to manage or any other term. She says that the proper term in "Spirited". I told her that the proper term is little f*cker and she better get her **** together and learn to discipline.

[DaniGrrl]

Right! It was about being part of a team and working hard.



Exactly!! When did it become inappropriate for parents to tell their children "NO!" How are kids supposed to learn to deal with disappointment and setbacks as an adult if they have no experience dealing with it as a child?

I realize, btw..some of you are thinking that I don't have kids, so how would I know...

But I stand by my convictions...

On a side note: I recently saw a car commercial (Think it was for a minivan) and the little girl was so sassy to her dad. Made me RAGE and usually it takes me a lot to get worked up.--Couldn't believe it was an effing marketing tool..."Yep...your kid is a sassy a**hole, now buy this car..."

I agree with you. And it doesn't take having your own kids to know what is and is not appropriate behavior from a child. That's the problem nowadays - parents never want to tell their kids "no." My son sometimes acts like a bossy little ingrate. That behavior is not tolerated from me, but so many parents just let their kids walk all over them. There is no fear of punishment.

[UnaChispita]

This describes my sister. She thinks her son is a GENIUS, so smart, and SUCH an angel. She told me that she never calls her son stubborn or hard to manage or any other term. She says that the proper term in "Spirited". I told her that the proper term is little f*cker and she better get her **** together and learn to discipline.

I totally get what you're saying. I think it is important to nurture a child and allow for unlimited growth. That isn't my issue. What is the issue is when parents can't see the flaws/struggles in their child. No person is perfect. No child is perfect. I don't expect them to be. Part of life is just to grow, fail, struggle, succeed...

I think of some of my most important experiences in life; the ones that taught me the most...often it is when I fail. Forces me to confront my struggles.

When did parenting become blowing smoke up a kid's butt? That isn't the role of a parent IMHO. The role of a parent (partially) is to prepare that kid for his/her adult life.

I agree with you. And it doesn't take having your own kids to know what is and is not appropriate behavior from a child.

Thank you!

That's the problem nowadays - parents never want to tell their kids "no." My son sometimes acts like a bossy little ingrate. That behavior is not tolerated from me, but so many parents just let their kids walk all over them. There is no fear of punishment.

Yeah! Kids push boundaries. That is their job. I've read studies that suggest that children feel safer with rules in a home than in a home "where anything goes." Even when they rebel, kids want parents to set rules.


You stick with it woman!!

[NotBigEnough206]

This describes my sister. She thinks her son is a GENIUS, so smart, and SUCH an angel. She told me that she never calls her son stubborn or hard to manage or any other term. She says that the proper term in "Spirited". I told her that the proper term is little f*cker and she better get her **** together and learn to discipline.

or aka as the recent school shooter that shot 20 little children
never knew what the fuk no meant, and never was slapped so hard he fell on his arse, my kids know when no means no, go out to restaurant, they better know to sit and be quiet, one look from me or the wife and they know exactly what can come if they dont behave, at home they can have fun, out in public behave and thats it.

was at fred meyer not too long ago with my son, saw a kid his age with the mom on her knees, the little boy was slapping the mom in the face, and she kept saying, oh david you are unreasonable

I looked at my son, pointed at the woman so she can hear me, and said, if you ever behaved like that I would punt you across the whole store like a ball.

[discdoggie]

Jimmies rustled when Americans equate Italian accent with Jersey accent.

Lol.


They were Italian; once upon a time and 3-4 generations ago.

[dsm246]

Also--what is up with parents today who let their kids do anything, say anything to them, etc?
"Oh!...don't cut Jimmy from the team (even though he is lazy and untalented)...he is such a special snowflake...how will he ever succeed in life if he doesn't have constant, positive reinforcement?"

WTH???

I have some close friends and family members in academia. They've said that in recent years parents have started calling them up to protest their kids college grades. "Little Jimmy worked real hard and you only gave him a B, we need to discuss this." One friend told the last parent who did this: "Little Jimmy is 21 years old. If he has an issue with his grade HE needs to make an appointment to talk to me or show up at office hours not have his Mommy call me." As parents don't you'd think that they'd want their kids to stand on their own two feet. It is happening so frequently now they have a word for it -- "heliocopter parents." Called that because they hover around and don't let the kids succeed or fail on their own.

[UnaChispita]

my kids know when no means no, go out to restaurant, they better know to sit and be quiet, one look from me or the wife and they know exactly what can come if they dont behave, at home they can have fun, out in public behave and thats it.

Good for you NBE! I think you probably have a better understanding of life in general because of what you've experienced in your own life.

and btw...your newest son is only a few months old and is standing???

Dude...you are in trouble!

the little boy was slapping the mom in the face, and she kept saying, oh david you are unreasonable

See? This is why I raged at that commercial...

[UnaChispita]

I have some close friends and family members in academia. They've said that in recent years parents have started calling them up to protest their kids college grades. "Little Jimmy worked real hard and you only gave him a B, we need to discuss this." One friend told the last parent who did this: "Little Jimmy is 21 years old. If he has an issue with his grade HE needs to make an appointment to talk to me or show up at office hours not have his Mommy call me." As parents don't you'd think that they'd want their kids to stand on their own two feet. It is happening so frequently now they have a word for it -- "heliocopter parents." Called that because they hover around and don't let the kids succeed or fail on their own.

YES!

Have friends at the collegiate/graduate level as well. They say the same thing.

The US is weakening itself I fear.

[Keltron]

I hate this^^, too. Among my other pet peeves are when people hit the last letter of a word that is silent like, "Niceeeeeeeee!" I don't mind so much when I see a teenager do it, but when an otherwise intelligent adult does it, it seems so juvenile. And when someone says "dat feel," I can feel my skin crawling.

I'm like Penny - I type like I talk.

dat feel when ur skin crawls... I know it sis-ski.

text/web abbreviates that irk me:

noe instead of know
then instead of than
than instead of then
threw instead of through
"K" instead of "I understand what you're saying. I still kind of disagree based on xyz but you make a valid point and I'll try to remember what you said."

[DaniGrrl]

This describes my sister. She thinks her son is a GENIUS, so smart, and SUCH an angel. She told me that she never calls her son stubborn or hard to manage or any other term. She says that the proper term in "Spirited". I told her that the proper term is little f*cker and she better get her **** together and learn to discipline.

I agree with you!!! Are we now giving cute names to bad behavior? I know a lot of parents do things like that, in the name of positive reinforcement. It's such BS. That is so not real life.

I totally get what you're saying. I think it is important to nurture a child and allow for unlimited growth. That isn't my issue. What is the issue is when parents can't see the flaws/struggles in their child. No person is perfect. No child is perfect. I don't expect them to be. Part of life is just to grow, fail, struggle, succeed...

I think of some of my most important experiences in life; the ones that taught me the most...often it is when I fail. Forces me to confront my struggles.

When did parenting become blowing smoke up a kid's butt? That isn't the role of a parent IMHO. The role of a parent (partially) is to prepare that kid for his/her adult life.



Thank you!



Yeah! Kids push boundaries. That is their job. I've read studies that suggest that children feel safer with rules in a home than in a home "where anything goes." Even when they rebel, kids want parents to set rules.


You stick with it woman!!

You're welcome!!!

I don't know at what point parents started acting this way. It's ridiculous. There was a thing going around on ******** and it said something like "If your child never says the words 'I hate you,' you aren't doing your job." My son gets pissed off and goes to sulk in his room when he gets disciplined, sometimes refuses to talk to me. I of course hate when he's angry with me like that, but if I let him behave any way he pleases just because I don't want him to be mad at me, he will never learn.

[DaniGrrl]

or aka as the recent school shooter that shot 20 little children
never knew what the fuk no meant, and never was slapped so hard he fell on his arse, my kids know when no means no, go out to restaurant, they better know to sit and be quiet, one look from me or the wife and they know exactly what can come if they dont behave, at home they can have fun, out in public behave and thats it.

was at fred meyer not too long ago with my son, saw a kid his age with the mom on her knees, the little boy was slapping the mom in the face, and she kept saying, oh david you are unreasonable

I looked at my son, pointed at the woman so she can hear me, and said, if you ever behaved like that I would punt you across the whole store like a ball.

Quoted for truth.

[mhockey9090]

That there multi-million dollar gym is quite nice!!! All new gear...was crazy!

We flew red air for the Fighter Weapons School last spring, right when the gym opened its doors.

I have only been in there once and its soooo big i couldn't believe it. So many bigger people in the airforce in there though just sitting around and probably wonder why they are the way they are. IDK.

[DaniGrrl]

dat feel when ur skin crawls... I know it sis-ski.

text/web abbreviates that irk me:

noe instead of know
then instead of than
than instead of then
threw instead of through
"K" instead of "I understand what you're saying. I still kind of disagree based on xyz but you make a valid point and I'll try to remember what you said."

I'm a court reporter so it's part of my job to proofread and know the correct differentiations. I don't even abbreviate when I text 99% of the time. It just seems wrong to me to type something like, "What R U doing 2nite?"

[UnaChispita]

I agree with you!!! Are we now giving cute names to bad behavior? I know a lot of parents do things like that, in the name of positive reinforcement. It's such BS. That is so not real life.



You're welcome!!!

I don't know at what point parents started acting this way. It's ridiculous. There was a thing going around on ******** and it said something like "If your child never says the words 'I hate you,' you aren't doing your job." My son gets pissed off and goes to sulk in his room when he gets disciplined, sometimes refuses to talk to me. I of course hate when he's angry with me like that, but if I let him behave any way he pleases just because I don't want him to be mad at me, he will never learn.

Good for you!

[sy2502]

This describes my sister. She thinks her son is a GENIUS, so smart, and SUCH an angel. She told me that she never calls her son stubborn or hard to manage or any other term. She says that the proper term in "Spirited". I told her that the proper term is little f*cker and she better get her **** together and learn to discipline.

Yeah, if all these kids are so genius smart, why is the world full of average intelligence people?

[dsm246]

YES!

Have friends at the collegiate/graduate level as well. They say the same thing.

The US is weakening itself I fear.

I fear the same. Because part of what you are supposed to learn as a kid is both how to succeed and how to fail. And then when you fail, how to pick yourself back up and move forward. If you don't learn that when you are a kid, when the stakes are small and your parents can control some of the risk, you'll end up having to learn those lessons as an adult. And the stakes and risks are likely going to me much higher then.

[DaniGrrl]

Good for you! Trust me: I work with families in my job. You are doing the right thing and even if your kid is angry now, he'll thank you someday

I hope so

I think parents these days think that their kids are going to think they don't love them if they discipline them. I always make it a point to say to both of my kids that I love them but I did not like how they were behaving. They will see when they get older that they were disciplined because they are loved.

[UnaChispita]

I fear the same. Because part of what you are supposed to learn as a kid is both how to succeed and how to fail. And then when you fail, how to pick yourself back up and move forward. If you don't learn that when you are a kid, when the stakes are small and your parents can control some of the risk, you'll end up having to learn those lessons as an adult. And the stakes and risks are likely going to me much higher then.

EXACTLY!!!

And that sort of person will have fewer psychological tools to deal with it.


Cut from baseball at age 11: tough

Fired from job at 26: much more difficult (especially if your parent complained to the coach about you being cut at age 11)!

[itsagoodday]

My gym's billing system sucks. Really sucks. If I pay ahead for an extra session with my trainer and it doesn't get punched into the system correctly, I'll get double-billed as a penalty, like I hadn't paid in the first place. Two weeks ago, I signed a new PT contract for the year as my old one was expiring. There would have been one more automated payment going through on my old contract before it expired, but the manager and I agreed to cancel the old contract and put the new one in place. So I paid for January with the new contract and also paid ahead for two "extra" days in February before my next payment kicks in. So today it appears my old contract was NOT cancelled, because I've been charged for that as well. Geezum frickin crap on a stick, people.

I would like to say that my trainer has nothing to do with the billing system, and feels terrible when this crap happens. He doesn't yet know I've been charged for the old contract AND the new one for January. On a humorous note, I would like to see his face the next time he pulls up my account and sees how many sessions are sitting there prepaid. Ummmmm... you're doing HOW many sessions a week now?!?!?! I might as well just curl up on a yoga mat in the corner and start sleeping there. Or I could go yell at the office tomorrow... yeah, that.

[UnaChispita]

I hope so

I think parents these days think that their kids are going to think they don't love them if they discipline them. I always make it a point to say to both of my kids that I love them but I did not like how they were behaving. They will see when they get older that they were disciplined because they are loved.

That is an interesting comment.

It depends on how a person defines "discipline" I think.

I agree with your definition. Teaching a child to be self-reliant...to persevere in the face of struggle...is an example of parental love.


Ridiculous coddling of a child is an example of parental negligence, IMO.

[mrshester]

I totally agree.

Also--what is up with parents today who let their kids do anything, say anything to them, etc?
"Oh!...don't cut Jimmy from the team (even though he is lazy and untalented)...he is such a special snowflake...how will he ever succeed in life if he doesn't have constant, positive reinforcement?"

WTH???

I have kids and I hate this. I haven't experienced the team stuff yet because my kids are not old enough yet to be on a team where winning matters like in high school sports, etc. But every kid who signs up has to play whether they are good or not. It wasn't that way when I was a kid, even with 7-year-olds. If you weren't good enough, you didn't play.

What I see more of is the parents who think their kids do no wrong. My son had some behavior problems in preschool and his teacher made a comment thanking us for being so receptive and trying to help because so many parents refuse to believe their children ever misbehave or think the teachers are making too big a deal out of things. Recently my son has been having an issue with another kid in his class(sometimes I really worry about what he's going to be like as a teenager - srs. And that situation is enough to rustle my jimmies but I won't bore anyone with it) and his teacher told me the same thing the preschool teacher did, thanking me for taking it seriously. WTF is with these parents who think their child is always an angel? Because I ain't buying that they never act up at home. Of course, they are probably the same parents who let their children talk to them any way they please so they think nothing of it when their teacher says they act like a smart azz.

So much of this and this.

[SultanaK]

Great conversation about kids being had in here!!

I agree with you guys, Una, Sy, and NBE.

[Fawnl]

Yeah, if all these kids are so genius smart, why is the world full of average intelligence people?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


<------------------------ Genius smart right here.

[aristomeow]

Yeah, if all these kids are so genius smart, why is the world full of average intelligence people?

Not enough 'positive reinforcement' durrrr.

[penny0527]

Yes I got that too. Funny especially coming from people who totally had kids for selfish reasons. Like "I will have someone to wipe my ass when I am old" and "I will live my dream life vicariously through my kids".

With the money I save by not having kids I should have enough that I can afford someone to wipe my ass.

[penny0527]

Right! It was about being part of a team and working hard.



Exactly!! When did it become inappropriate for parents to tell their children "NO!" How are kids supposed to learn to deal with disappointment and setbacks as an adult if they have no experience dealing with it as a child?

I realize, btw..some of you are thinking that I don't have kids, so how would I know...

But I stand by my convictions...

On a side note: I recently saw a car commercial (Think it was for a minivan) and the little girl was so sassy to her dad. Made me RAGE and usually it takes me a lot to get worked up.--Couldn't believe it was an effing marketing tool..."Yep...your kid is a sassy a**hole, now buy this car..."

Yep I don't have kids either so people say I know nothing BUT I was a kid once. I can assure you I knew what "no" meant and I didn't mouth off. Well I did sometimes but I got my ass busted too. Or my mouth.

[Fawnl]

That is an interesting comment.

It depends on how a person defines "discipline" I think.

I agree with your definition. Teaching a child to be self-reliant...to persevere in the face of struggle...is an example of parental love.


Ridiculous coddling of a child is an example of parental negligence, IMO.

^^^^ So true. There are times when you are literally doing the best thing for your child by getting ugly with them. I have 2 families close to me with kids the same age as my youngest, give or take 2 months. I have watched both of those families watch the child run TO THE ROAD. What was the action they took? They ran and grabbed them and laughed... What? YOUR KID JUST TRIED TO RUN ONTO THE ROAD AND YOUR MAKING IT A GAME??? I try not to smack my kids, but there is a time and place for everything, and when my kids do things that can seriously injure themselves or another person, they are going to remember NEVER to do it again.

Again with my sister, she cannot understand why her son attacks her. Or why he would decide to grab my son by the throat and dig chunks out of his neck with his nails (Seriously, he bled). But the kid is out of control. He is in this huge world full over stimulation with no boundaries. There is no one guiding him through the insanity, no one taking control for him, and teaching how to function and deal with everyday life.

[Botika]

I must admit I struggle with the discipline mostly because they just tune out to me. I do time outs, they lose privelidges etc. I did leave a birthday party half way though on the weekend to show them that bad behaviour is unacceptable. Trying to set boundaries with kids is more difficult than it looks from the outside. Sometimes when you are out and about it's less traumatic to let some behaviour slide because telling them off will result in a tantrum of epic proportions (not ideal when trying to buy groceries). You really do need to pick your battles!

[Fawnl]

I must admit I struggle with the discipline mostly because they just tune out to me. I do time outs, they lose privelidges etc. I did leave a birthday party half way though on the weekend to show them that bad behaviour is unacceptable. Trying to set boundaries with kids is more difficult than it looks from the outside. Sometimes when you are out and about it's less traumatic to let some behaviour slide because telling them off will result in a tantrum of epic proportions (not ideal when trying to buy groceries). You really do need to pick your battles!

This is very true. Finding the right discipline for each child is crazy hard. But well worth the work. And I also will let some behaviour slide in public. Once my 3 yr old yelled at me in the home depot, and I grabbed him by the arm and crouched down to get in his face and said "DON'T you talk to me like that!" Just like I would at home and when I stood up there was this woman watching and I swear she looked ready to call the cops on me.

Edit- Also wanted to say, GREAT job on the bulk Botika!! 256? Your killing it!

[aristomeow]

Jimmy rustle of the day..

A girl friend put up a status saying "Yes I'm still single, would I like to change that? Yep but who's brave enough to take me on? Apparently nobody!"

Now, I hate whiny fb statuses as much as anybody, but this hardly warranted "This is the most desperate status I've seen.. get some integrity.. ".

SMH if you care so much send her a private message or a text , don't try and shame the girl on her own status.