Matches have pretty much died ³

[Legz422]

sure-it diminishes and I could understand when our kids were really young. kids can cause it to go down but our kids are older (12 and 9), and they are on auto pilot.
i brought up her exes because she was willing to satisfy them and do things with them that she wont let me do or she wont do to me. Sure, that was years ago, but I’m her husband and I would think that she would be comfortable enough to do those things with me. She liked it with them… why not with me? the 3 times a month we do it, i cant even get a blow job?

we've talked about it in the past and she always says sorry, she'll do better, but it goes back a week later. there are 7 days in a week and it's bull **** that she always has a head ache, tired, more excuses, etc.... She has the time and energy to train for marathons and do Spartan races, but no energy for me? and when we do have it, it's a chore for her.

i've tried to talk about it constructively but after 7 years, it's not going anywhere. I hope our argument last week finally drilled how important it is to me. She knows she fukced up



We have date nights, couples massages, staycations, I bring her flowers and gifts randomly, go on hikes where its just the two of us, etc. I did those not to get laid but because its something I’ve always done. it's stupid that i have to keep doing those things in order for her to be intimate with me. If anyone needs to go to therapy, its my wife. more and more i regret getting married

It sounds like you do a lot to keep the spark alive. Honestly if she's not willing to go to therapy, I don't see anything getting better. I asked my ex for years to go to counseling and he always refused. We've been divorced 7.5 years.

[skinnyfat88]

It sounds like you do a lot to keep the spark alive. Honestly if she's not willing to go to therapy, I don't see anything getting better. I asked my ex for years to go to counseling and he always refused. We've been divorced 7.5 years.

This.
Usually people don't want to go to therapy because they don't want to hear the truth that their behaviors are unhealthy and change/face the underlying issues as to why they are that way.

The answer could be as simple as she no longer has desire for you, in which case she has to decide if she/you want to try to change that, continue living without getting your needs met, or split up.
She may not be comfortable being honest with whatever she needs to be with you yet and may need time alone with a therapist first.

That's just an example of what the issue could be (& likely a common one). There are a number of other things it could be as well.

[TonyTriangles]

This.
Usually people don't want to go to therapy because they don't want to hear the truth that their behaviors are unhealthy and change/face the underlying issues as to why they are that way.

The answer could be as simple as she no longer has desire for you, in which case she has to decide if she/you want to try to change that, continue living without getting your needs met, or split up.
She may not be comfortable being honest with whatever she needs to be with you yet and may need time alone with a therapist first.

That's just an example of what the issue could be (& likely a common one). There are a number of other things it could be as well.

she's definitely taking me for granted. sometimes it feels like we are room mates more so than husband and wife. she said she's going to be better, but come on? is it really that hard to have sex +3 times a week? it should happen naturally, but if she's doing it just to do it, then i'm telling her we need to separate. it really eats me up inside to be in a marriage and not being wanted.

[Legz422]

she's definitely taking me for granted. sometimes it feels like we are room mates more so than husband and wife. she said she's going to be better, but come on? is it really that hard to have sex +3 times a week? it should happen naturally, but if she's doing it just to do it, then i'm telling her we need to separate. it really eats me up inside to be in a marriage and not being wanted.

I don't remember if you said if she works or stays home with the kids? Do you also do at least some stuff to help around the house?

[TonyTriangles]

I don't remember if you said if she works or stays home with the kids? Do you also do at least some stuff to help around the house?

she's full time teleworking and goes into the office maybe twice a month. i think i help out quite a bit; i even cook breakfast before i head to work. our kids are old enough that they can help out too, so the chores around the house are getting done. the only thing i havent been able to do is the laundry; she does them while she's taking a break from work, so most of the time it's already done by the time i get home, or i help out by folding and putting clothes away (mine and the boys).

[skinnyfat88]

she's definitely taking me for granted. sometimes it feels like we are room mates more so than husband and wife. she said she's going to be better, but come on? is it really that hard to have sex +3 times a week? it should happen naturally, but if she's doing it just to do it, then i'm telling her we need to separate. it really eats me up inside to be in a marriage and not being wanted.

IMO quality/feeling desired is more important than quantity.

Feeling completely undesired was one of many reasons why I left my ex-wife.
I was young and took it as a learning experience and am way more confident in my ability to create and maintain attraction now.
Sounds like you and your wife have a solid relationship outside of the bedroom so there is reason to put the effort into making that part of your relationship fulfilling again.
Whether it be a conversation with just the two of you, a conversation with the two of you and a therapist, or a conversation between her and a therapist, she HAS to be honest about her waning desires.
I would calmly acknowledge her efforts but express your feelings that you don't feel desired the way you used to and how she needs to figure that out through communication (in one of the 3 scenarios I mentioned above).

[hoib]

Any of you guys have a difficult time getting the digits?
I have a few that I'm setting up a date with and she said she doesn't give it to strangers.
U w0t m8? You're coming on a date with me, but not giving me your number?

In b4 flaked

Maybe she wants to lurk in the bush beforehand and assess whether I am worthy to lay eyes on the heavenly blessed beauty, whose inner beauty is divine and everlasting?

[Legz422]

she's full time teleworking and goes into the office maybe twice a month. i think i help out quite a bit; i even cook breakfast before i head to work. our kids are old enough that they can help out too, so the chores around the house are getting done. the only thing i havent been able to do is the laundry; she does them while she's taking a break from work, so most of the time it's already done by the time i get home, or i help out by folding and putting clothes away (mine and the boys).

Huh. Yeah, I've got nothing as to what her problem might be. I really think counseling is your best bet at this point.

[TallSaint]

Hope ya'll are enjoying summer.

It's been a surprisingly great summer for me just living the single life and chillin with friends and family.

The ex reached out to me for the first time out of the blue after 3 months of NC

Hi TallSaint. I hope you’ve been enjoying the summer.

I’d like to thank you for encouraging me to pursue my carrier and helping me with job search. Thanks to that, I got a a new job today. Even though it was a short time that we knew each other, it was very meaningful for me, and I learned a lot from you. I sincerely appreciate it and hope you’ll have a wonderful summer and ahead.

P.S. I don't want to bother you, so no need to reply to this.

Caught me off guard and I have no idea why she felt the need to update me on her life. I guess people are weird like that though.

I didn't respond. My best friend irl told me that I shouldn't even consider responding after the way she walked out.

[TonyTriangles]

Hope ya'll are enjoying summer.

It's been a surprisingly great summer for me just living the single life and chillin with friends and family.

The ex reached out to me for the first time out of the blue after 3 months of NC

Hi TallSaint. I hope you’ve been enjoying the summer.

I’d like to thank you for encouraging me to pursue my carrier and helping me with job search. Thanks to that, I got a a new job today. Even though it was a short time that we knew each other, it was very meaningful for me, and I learned a lot from you. I sincerely appreciate it and hope you’ll have a wonderful summer and ahead.

P.S. I don't want to bother you, so no need to reply to this.

Caught me off guard and I have no idea why she felt the need to update me on her life. I guess people are weird like that though.

I didn't respond. My best friend irl told me that I shouldn't even consider responding after the way she walked out.

she's playing head games. block her number, ignore and forget

[Luc1fer]

Caught me off guard and I have no idea why she felt the need to update me on her life. I guess people are weird like that though.

I didn't respond. My best friend irl told me that I shouldn't even consider responding after the way she walked out.

Women want orbiters and backups, it's in their nature. Don't respond of course.

Good to hear your summer is going well.

[xbluexhawkx]

most of you would have better success improving your social skills and meeting women irl

I don't think dating apps are a great option for 99% of men.

[Ninshark]

anti-dating apper back again with life update. chat up two girls this week, Sunday, a tall 7 at the coffee shop who turned out to be married, and today, a cute 8 at the market and got her number. The 8 was a cashier who I've never seen before, took the opportunity, and she thought for a second, then her manager came to cockblock me, but I waited and after the manager left, she agreed. She actually gave me her number on a piece of paper. wish me luck.

[TallSaint]

she's playing head games. block her number, ignore and forget

Yeah, totally ignored it.

Women want orbiters and backups, it's in their nature. Don't respond of course.

Good to hear your summer is going well.

+validation

Yeah, my friend put it best: If she didn't get that job, she would have never sent that message. And she's only sending it because she wants a clear conscience. She wants me to validate her so she can get rid herself of the bad feelings she has over her actions.

It's all just self-serving in the end.

Never going to respond.

[Luc1fer]

Yeah, my friend put it best: If she didn't get that job, she would have never sent that message. And she's only sending it because she wants a clear conscience. She wants me to validate her so she can get rid herself of the bad feelings she has over her actions.

It's all just self-serving in the end.

Never going to respond.

Is she crazy enough to send an angry follow up email in a few days? I doubt it from what you've said.

It'll bother her if you don't respond though, contrary to what she says

[4North1Side2]

Broke up with my fiance

I gave the relationship my absolute best but the bitch just kept causing drama to the point she totally drained my energy and killed my desire for her.

Created a FB dating profile seeking validation like a woman does online lol

Instead of my usual swipe right on everything, I've been swiping selectively. 80% swipe left, 20% swipe right.

I'm no longer the dating app I used to be at the age of 34 but that comes with older age.

I tailored my profile to advertise I'm looking strictly for sex without saying it.

My main photo is a shirt less beach photo with my son's. All my profile says is "I'm the ugly one"

The rest of my pics are travel photos with the last being a sweaty gym photo showing off my rock solid abs.

It's been nice because I match with young childless women still, some women even reach out to me.

I feel kinda bad tho, I have 0 intention of interacting with any of them. Quite frankly I'm sick and tired of women at this point in my life. I much rather be alone.

[hoib]

unexpectedly, she did come to the date and it went very well, it was my second date off the app. Plan was to hang out 1-2 hours, go for a walk and some drinks, but we actually decided to hang out more and went out for some pool etc. Ended up hanging out for like 4 hours, nothing really noteworthy happened, but it was very fun.
Probably meeting up again. Still didn't give me her #, but added me on FB and we keep contact in there.

Another date I had the day before, we chatted and I guess I was a little nervous since it was my first date for many years. I kept the convo up but it wasn't as fluid as with the second one. It's the second day after the first date and we haven't contacted each other, should I reach out and say something or only if she contacts first?

Any of you guys have a difficult time getting the digits?
I have a few that I'm setting up a date with and she said she doesn't give it to strangers.
U w0t m8? You're coming on a date with me, but not giving me your number?

In b4 flaked

Maybe she wants to lurk in the bush beforehand and assess whether I am worthy to lay eyes on the heavenly blessed beauty, whose inner beauty is divine and everlasting?

[HayZues Christi]

Any of you guys have a difficult time getting the digits?
I have a few that I'm setting up a date with and she said she doesn't give it to strangers.
U w0t m8? You're coming on a date with me, but not giving me your number?

In b4 flaked

Maybe she wants to lurk in the bush beforehand and assess whether I am worthy to lay eyes on the heavenly blessed beauty, whose inner beauty is divine and everlasting?

I'll give you the same advice I've been giving for nearly 15 years on here.. GIVE HER YOUR NUMBER. It's the easiest interest test you'll ever have. If she texts you, she is into you. If she doesn't, nothing lost, you don't have to waste energy chasing.

[Legz422]

I'll give you the same advice I've been giving for nearly 15 years on here.. GIVE HER YOUR NUMBER. It's the easiest interest test you'll ever have. If she texts you, she is into you. If she doesn't, nothing lost, you don't have to waste energy chasing.

This is good advice. Although I'm sure there's some that would only text for attention with no plan to meet.

unexpectedly, she did come to the date and it went very well, it was my second date off the app. Plan was to hang out 1-2 hours, go for a walk and some drinks, but we actually decided to hang out more and went out for some pool etc. Ended up hanging out for like 4 hours, nothing really noteworthy happened, but it was very fun.
Probably meeting up again. Still didn't give me her #, but added me on FB and we keep contact in there.

Another date I had the day before, we chatted and I guess I was a little nervous since it was my first date for many years. I kept the convo up but it wasn't as fluid as with the second one. It's the second day after the first date and we haven't contacted each other, should I reach out and say something or only if she contacts first?

Seems super weird to me she'd spend 4 hours with you but not give you her number.

[hoib]

This is good advice. Although I'm sure there's some that would only text for attention with no plan to meet.

Seems super weird to me she'd spend 4 hours with you but not give you her number.

Agreed. She explained that she's had some miscers creep on her, show up at her window and won't leave alone, so that's made her cautious.

To be fair, I was very sceptical of the meetup happening without her number. The reason I even need her number is in case we are meeting up and can't find each other or something.
I don't know if it's the same in the US, but I can and actually prefer to keep messaging in messenger, no reason to text her on the phone.
I was quite sure she wasn't going to show.

By the way, she has a horse.
Inb4 horsepilled.


What about the date with the first girl. If I don't think we had that much of a connection, is it OK to not message her (if she doesn't message either)? Feel kind of douche for it, but don't know what to text her either.

[Legz422]

Agreed. She explained that she's had some miscers creep on her, show up at her window and won't leave alone, so that's made her cautious.

To be fair, I was very sceptical of the meetup happening without her number. The reason I even need her number is in case we are meeting up and can't find each other or something.
I don't know if it's the same in the US, but I can and actually prefer to keep messaging in messenger, no reason to text her on the phone.
I was quite sure she wasn't going to show.

By the way, she has a horse.
Inb4 horsepilled.


What about the date with the first girl. If I don't think we had that much of a connection, is it OK to not message her (if she doesn't message either)? Feel kind of douche for it, but don't know what to text her either.

Oh I hate texting apps like messenger and stuff so I always prefer to text.

First girl yeah, you don't need to contact. If she contacts you to meet again you should respond and tell her you weren't feeling a connection or something.

[brightbrah]

What about the date with the first girl. If I don't think we had that much of a connection, is it OK to not message her (if she doesn't message either)? Feel kind of douche for it, but don't know what to text her either.

yes. if she wants to see you again, she will text you after the date saying that she had a good time.
if you definitely don't want to see her again, you can text her something along the lines of "I had a fun time, but I didn't really feel a spark between us, best of luck to you!". i've had positive response to that. better than the ghosting culture we have, IMO

[Legz422]

yes. if she wants to see you again, she will text you after the date saying that she had a good time.
if you definitely don't want to see her again, you can text her something along the lines of "I had a fun time, but I didn't really feel a spark between us, best of luck to you!". i've had positive response to that. better than the ghosting culture we have, IMO

Absolutely! That's basically what I would say if I wasn't feeling it.

[NissanskylineN1]

> Second date with chick on Wed
> Had a really awesome date and she really enjoyed it
> Tells me she feels really comfortable around me and can be herself.
> Slam, spends the night over, slam twice in the morning
> She tells me that she isn't seeing anyone else and I ask her if she's implying that I should be doing the same. She says no.
> She leaves and I send her a message in the evening asking if she got home safe and she replies yes and says thanks for the date
> I respond 4 hours later asking her what her schedule is like next week
> Its 2 days later and no response.

Same chit over and over again on Hinge - one flaking broad each month. Last broad wasn't over her ex and I found out only slamming the third time. I'm actually so done with dating - too much time and investment for no return other than laying pipe once or twice.

[NissanskylineN1]

Broke up with my fiance

I gave the relationship my absolute best but the bitch just kept causing drama to the point she totally drained my energy and killed my desire for her.

Created a FB dating profile seeking validation like a woman does online lol

Instead of my usual swipe right on everything, I've been swiping selectively. 80% swipe left, 20% swipe right.

I'm no longer the dating app I used to be at the age of 34 but that comes with older age.

I tailored my profile to advertise I'm looking strictly for sex without saying it.

My main photo is a shirt less beach photo with my son's. All my profile says is "I'm the ugly one"

The rest of my pics are travel photos with the last being a sweaty gym photo showing off my rock solid abs.

It's been nice because I match with young childless women still, some women even reach out to me.

I feel kinda bad tho, I have 0 intention of interacting with any of them. Quite frankly I'm sick and tired of women at this point in my life. I much rather be alone.

Holding you brah - you got this. Just keep being selective and improve yourself. Be happy that you broke up before it turned into a marriage and she walked away with half.

[DustinTheHuss]

Broke up with my fiance

I gave the relationship my absolute best but the bitch just kept causing drama to the point she totally drained my energy and killed my desire for her.

Created a FB dating profile seeking validation like a woman does online lol

Instead of my usual swipe right on everything, I've been swiping selectively. 80% swipe left, 20% swipe right.

I'm no longer the dating app I used to be at the age of 34 but that comes with older age.

I tailored my profile to advertise I'm looking strictly for sex without saying it.

My main photo is a shirt less beach photo with my son's. All my profile says is "I'm the ugly one"

The rest of my pics are travel photos with the last being a sweaty gym photo showing off my rock solid abs.

It's been nice because I match with young childless women still, some women even reach out to me.

I feel kinda bad tho, I have 0 intention of interacting with any of them. Quite frankly I'm sick and tired of women at this point in my life. I much rather be alone.

Don't go on a dating app unless you want to actually meet the women. Guys on here always complain that women are only on dating apps to get validation. It sounds like you are doing the same.

[brightbrah]

I'm actually so done with dating - too much time and investment for no return other than laying pipe once or twice.

lol, i'm about to get back into it after about a year

Just curious, do you feel like you gave off a fukboy-type vibe in your profile?

[NissanskylineN1]

lol, i'm about to get back into it after about a year

Just curious, do you feel like you gave off a fukboy-type vibe in your profile?

No but apparently I come across as a player because I'm confident which sucks - makes me get rejected by quality broads

[NMS3]

Back on the online apps, have got one match and pretty much zero likes LOL. I have good photos too, oh well. Hopefully lucky tonight at the bar and meet someone

[imbored21]

girls agree to hang out but dont follow through. Means they like me but have better options. Online dating ruined everything. I coulda had a gf preonline dating easily. It's over for men. I'm going to Thailand.