Recovery after major shoulder repair

[lllDBOlll]

Looking jacked old man

[fittofattofit]

And today bumped:

15th September 2012

173lbs

Rows

Tennis ball rolling and stretching - Pyriformis and glutes
Thoracic extension work

Yates Rows
12 x 60kg (132lbs)
12 x 80kg (176lbs)
10 x 100kg (220lbs)
10 x 110kg (242lbs)
10 x 120kg (264lbs)
6, 6, 6, 6, 6 x 130kg (286lbs)
12 x 90kg (198lbs)
less body english on the 130kg.

Pendlay Rows
10 x 60kg (132lbs)
8 x 70kg (154lbs)
6 x 80kg (176lbs)
6, 6, 6 x 90kg (198lbs)
Concentrated on keeping my head up and I felt a lot stronger on the 90kgs

V bar Rows
10, 10 x 60kg (3 plates/132lbs)
10, 10 x 80kg (4 plates/176lbs)
8, 8 x 90kg (198lbs)
Working on keeping the lower back rock solid

Reverse pec-deck/rear delt flyes
6, 6, 6, 6, 6 x 66kg (145lbs)
Really slow - rear delts felt great

70 minutes


I slept in until 11am!!
Got to the gym after midday.
My lower back and glutes were tired after the deads and squatting of the last week, but the rowing felt good.
Form was better on the 130kg although I kept the reps down from last week --- no point in getting really untidy for the sake of getting an extra rep

Pendlays felt good - working on keeping the lower back tight and getting that explosive lift off
V bar rows and reverse pec deck all felt good

I know I said I was going to play with lunges today, but with the late start, by 1:30pm the 'angry wife' alarm was ringing so I had to get home for lunch
I'm expected to do some
'yardio' this afternoon

And The Crows won last night in a real come from behind match --- for those of you who don't know Aussie Rules --- this is the greatest game to watch especially when your team wins
And for tonight we want the Eagles from Perth to win because:
1. their opponents are Collingwood --- who everyone else hates, and
2. their opponents are Victorians --- and all non-Vics hate the Vics, and
3. if the Crows win in next week's final, I'd prefer to face the Eagles or Swans (from Sydney) than Collingwood in the Grand Final

What's your weekly loss goal? Sounded like a pound a week wasn't ok to you? For me that has always been ideal pace.

No.....I think around a pound a week is right to make sure that I keep as much mass and strength as possible. It's just that I know that in the first week I might expect to lose a little more because of water and glycogen flux, and I have been running at 2400-2600 cals per day which is higher than my target was (I had a few unexpected big feeds --- social events etc, plus I still had some chocolate covered macadamias and nougat calling my name that I'd been given for Father's Day). I'll have to tighten the belt a little more this week

Dude! You're knockin' on the door of a 3pps Yates Row.

A 3pps would be cool but I've got to tighten up that form a little bit more
I'm rowing from the lats with the 130kg/286lbs but there is still a bit of leg drive. If I call a 315 row I'll have to post a vid, so I want it to be a good one

Good lord... I've been following your form videos, but this is crazy. No wonder your back is so damn thick.

Btw... one of the prettiest journals I've seen man :P

Thanks! I've only started BB rowing the last 6 months after concentrating on cable work and back day is now my favourite session!
And 'pretty' ---- it's the symmetry According to my wife it's because I'm OCD

Looking jacked old man

Thanks Danny! Haven't seen you around for a while ---- you must be feeling intimidated by my 'old man muscle'

[fittofattofit]

16th September 2012

172lbs

Pull-downs/cable rows

Wide-grip lat pull-downs Tempo 5:2:5
10, 9, 7, 7, 6, 6 x 160lbd
Super slow and my shoulders, tris and mid-back felt pumped

Seated cable rows Tempo 5:2:5
10 x 100kg (220lb)
10, 8 x 90kg (198lb)
Really slow again. Tris were toast

20 minutes



RPM/HIIT cycle class

50 minutes


Decided to do some lighter weight cable work and really go slow - working on scapular movement and control
I got a great burn out of the pull-downs and by the time I'd finished the rows my tris were failing
Got on the bike for my weekly cardio and my tris started cramping up! The spasm was painful

Cardio/HIIT session was good as usual and legs got the usual good pump from bumping the resistance

[boathead]

solid workouts, andrew. your squat numbers are looking sweet.

and the deads? i think your form is pretty tight, but with just a bit too much lower back in the initial pull. some how, some way, i think you need to get a bit more of the stress onto your legs. how to do it, though. ass down a bit more....a bit more vertical torso? but back into your shins? i'm just throwing this out there.

but dang it, i'm in the same boat as you. it's easy to say, hard to do, and impossible to do when the weights get heavy.

[fittofattofit]

solid workouts, andrew. your squat numbers are looking sweet.

and the deads? i think your form is pretty tight, but with just a bit too much lower back in the initial pull. some how, some way, i think you need to get a bit more of the stress onto your legs. how to do it, though. ass down a bit more....a bit more vertical torso? but back into your shins? i'm just throwing this out there.

but dang it, i'm in the same boat as you. it's easy to say, hard to do, and impossible to do when the weights get heavy.

Thanks Tom! My squatting has benefited by going back to basics and I should do the same with the deads
ass down a bit more....a bit more vertical torso? but back into your shins? i'm just throwing this out there.
^^^ I think this is exactly right, but when I try it my mind tells me one thing and then my body does another
Somehow I've got to get the correct neural patterning ingrained --- that makes it sound really easy

17th September 2012

172lbs

Chest

HS bench press Tempo5:2:5
10 x 20kg ps
10 x 30kg ps
8 x 40kg ps
5, 5, 5, 5, 5 x 45kg ps
8 x 30kg ps
pecs burning

Pec deck
10 x 82kg (181lbs)
8, 7, 6, 6, 6 x 85kg (187lbs) PR
Really feeling strong on this now

Close grip V handle pull-down to chest Tempo5:2:5
10 x 85kg (187lbs)
8 x 95kg (209lbs)
5, 5, 5 x 105kg (231lbs)
10 x 85kg (187lbs)
Really squeezing upper pecs and serratus

Pen/corner presses Tempo5:2:5
5, 5 x 35kg
10, 8, 8 x 20kg
Dropped the weight and went slow - upper/mid pecs and bis/ant delts

Wide grip pull-ups Tempo5:2:5
6, 6, 5

55 minutes


Good chest session --- can feel pecs, serratus and anterior delts/bis have been worked
Strength is going up on the HS press, but I did a set of 60kg x 10 with BB bench and it still feels like sh!te
Pec deck is feelin good --- the form is strict although I do keep the range limited so that the tension stays on my pecs and not on the subscap. I lean slightly forwards as well to hit the upper pecs

Corner/Pen presses: last set and going a little bit faster


As for other news:
The Adelaide Crows face Hawthorn form Melbourne in the AFL semifinal next week for a place in the Grandfinal, against either Collingwood or the Sydney Swans.
They did well this week in coming from behind to win. The Hawks have been the best team in the comp this year, but I'm hopeful.
I'm on call for the Grand final day, but if the Crows make it I might have to swap out and make the trip to Melbourne
Wife doesn't know yet

[Sillybubba]

I like your attention to form on the chest exercises. I could learn from you since apparently I'm driving my left shoulder into the ground.

[Payton1221]

Pec deck
8, 7, 6, 6, 6 x 85kg (187lbs) PR
Really feeling strong on this now

Unless you just recently started doing this (which I highly doubt), PR's mean that you're doing several things right! gjdm.

[robertfah]

Good stuff Fit....I like those corner presses....we tried them at my gym but LA Fitness got all upset because we were "ruining" the corner and then posted a sign that says "DO NOT put bar in the corner. Failure to listen can result in permanent suspension of your membership"!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm at Planet Fitness again Arms looking JACKED btw

I meant to mention something about deads that helps me with each lift.....when you setup and grip the bar, just before you lift, pinch your shoulder blades back as if you are trying to pinch your upper-middle back....this should "tighten" you up for the lift and you may even be surprised at how much lighter the weight feels.

[Lou1se]

Took note you are doing pull-ups! Great work hitting the 10 on first go!

I have shoulder issues too and can't go too deep on dips either. Despite this the tri's respond surprisingly well! Going deep seems to work the chest more, especially if you can adjust bars for a wider grip.

Saw the pic, muscle growth coming along well in all areas, most impressed by the huge arms(esp delts and forearms), especially back.. The abs will be there when you trim down on this cut. Good to see you doing some serious core work, a strong core helps with form, it's amazing to feel them work in other lifts.

Good squatting vid! Never seen that style of bar before

You may have said before, but how many days/week do you train?


...the Dockers - not ghey ..just not great in final quarter.. >: [

[wedjim]

Solid work Fit! Those pec deck flys are tuff unless your shoulders are doing well, so good news on multiple fronts!

[fittofattofit]

I like your attention to form on the chest exercises. I could learn from you since apparently I'm driving my left shoulder into the ground.

Thanks Bubba! Well I only started paying attention to good form once I started having problems so regard your shoulders as giving you a warning!
Good form is important which is why I'm so p!ssed off about my deadlift today!

Unless you just recently started doing this (which I highly doubt), PR's mean that you're doing several things right! gjdm.

Thanks Mark! They are starting to feel good

Good stuff Fit....I like those corner presses....we tried them at my gym but LA Fitness got all upset because we were "ruining" the corner and then posted a sign that says "DO NOT put bar in the corner. Failure to listen can result in permanent suspension of your membership"!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm at Planet Fitness again Arms looking JACKED btw

Thanks Bob! That is so stupid about the corner presses --- it's a gym --- it's allowed to have a little wear and tear!
You'll have a 'lunk alarm' there soon!

I meant to mention something about deads that helps me with each lift.....when you setup and grip the bar, just before you lift, pinch your shoulder blades back as if you are trying to pinch your upper-middle back....this should "tighten" you up for the lift and you may even be surprised at how much lighter the weight feels.

Thanks Bob --- you'll be appalled at my lift today! Talk about rounding the back! I'll have another little run on Friday and try to squeeze the scaps and see how that helps me. Every little tweak matters!

Took note you are doing pull-ups! Great work hitting the 10 on first go!

I have shoulder issues too and can't go too deep on dips either. Despite this the tri's respond surprisingly well! Going deep seems to work the chest more, especially if you can adjust bars for a wider grip.

Saw the pic, muscle growth coming along well in all areas, most impressed by the huge arms(esp delts and forearms), especially back.. The abs will be there when you trim down on this cut. Good to see you doing some serious core work, a strong core helps with form, it's amazing to feel them work in other lifts.

Thanks Louise! I've found that pull-ups and dips have been great for building mass on my arms and shoulders. I go slow and keep the range under control and it seems to be paying off. Hopefully I won't lose too much muscle on the cut although I do want my abs back for the Aussie summer

Good squatting vid! Never seen that style of bar before

You may have said before, but how many days/week do you train?


...the Dockers - not ghey ..just not great in final quarter.. >:

And that's a 'squat safety bar' --- it takes a lot of strain off my shoulders: I can't hold a normal oly bar across my shoulders because of the lack of ER
I pretty much train every day, but I have a core day and my HIIT/cycle day which are lighter
And I thought the dockers would win, but the crows played well at the end. I fear the worst for the match with Hawthorn on Saturday though

Solid work Fit! Those pec deck flys are tuff unless your shoulders are doing well, so good news on multiple fronts!

Thanks a lot Jim!

18th September 2012

172lbs

Deadlifts

Thoracic mobility/RC stretches

Deadlifts
10 x 60kg (132lbs)
10 x 100kg (220lbs)
2 x 140kg (308lbs)
1 x 150kg (330lbs)
1 x 160kg (352lbs)
1 x 170kg (374lbs)
1 x 160kg (352lbs)
14, 10 x 120kg (264lbs)
Got 374lbs and it didn't feel heavy, but the form was super-sh!tty

RDLs
8, 8, 8 x 100kg (220lbs)
Form felt good

pull-ups
BW x 10
Dead hang and slow

60 minutes


I worked this morning and then had my re-appointment with the dermatologist to have the 5 skin cancers cut off (last week was burning off the pre-cancerous stuff with liquid Nitrogen --- that phuking hurts!). An hour in the surgery and then I hit the gym while the local anaesthetic was still working.

I played with deadlifts again. This time I put on my tracksuit, used a DOH/strapped grip and tried to drag the bar up my shins. It didn't feel too bad and I got up to 170kg/374lbs for a single. It didn't feel too heavy but the form was fuarcking awful! I set up in a good position and then did the usual and stuck my @rse in the air and Straight Leg deadlifted it!
I won't post it to shame myself, but there is nothing good about this: @rse up, head down, lower back rounded, SLDL up and then poor control on the way down.
I have so much to do on my deads!

Fukfukfuk
Because I've become a form Nazi this kills me
I did 2 sets of 14 and 10 x 120kg and these were basically SLDLs as well

I followed with RDLs at 100kg --- not surprisingly the form was good here because I'm quite used to straight leg deadlifts

I'm starting to feel a bit sore from all the surgery now, so maybe some alcoholic anaesthesia is due to night

[Payton1221]

Deadlifts
10 x 60kg (132lbs)
10 x 100kg (220lbs)
2 x 140kg (308lbs)
1 x 150kg (330lbs)
1 x 160kg (352lbs)
1 x 170kg (374lbs)
1 x 160kg (352lbs)
14, 10 x 120kg (264lbs)
Got 374lbs and it didn't feel heavy, but the form was super-sh!tty

I must have stumbled in the wrong journal. This likes the workout of a powerlifter But seriously, solid looking workout; although, I know what you mean about the form. I felt a little discomfort with last night's 312x8, and I assume it was form related, but I feel great this morning. Good job with those back-off sets, too.

[lllDBOlll]

Unlucky Form Nazi

[Sillybubba]

I worked this morning and then had my re-appointment with the dermatologist to have the 5 skin cancers cut off (last week was burning off the pre-cancerous stuff with liquid Nitrogen --- that phuking hurts!). An hour in the surgery and then I hit the gym while the local anaesthetic was still working.

You, my dear sir, are an animal! That's some serious John Wayne/Shaft stuff right there. Tough as nails!

[wedjim]

Wow, did you just say you went to the gym right after surgery?

Holy Ca-Rap dude! If ever there was an acceptable day/week for deload, that wuz it right there!

[hazto]

Strong work out today, DL's 374x1, good stuff. I always have on long gym pants when doing DL's and focus on the bar touching the leg through thye entire lift, both up and down. I have lost a lot of skin when I had on shorts.

[EB68]

That is some strong deadlifting Andrew. I started wearing long pants like Hazto for the same reason, got tired of bleeding shins.

[cmoore]

Nice job. AMA I'm sure but inspirational never the less.

[fittofattofit]

I must have stumbled in the wrong journal. This likes the workout of a powerlifter But seriously, solid looking workout; although, I know what you mean about the form. I felt a little discomfort with last night's 312x8, and I assume it was form related, but I feel great this morning. Good job with those back-off sets, too.

Thanks Mark --- when the form feels good everything seems to fly up, but when it's bad you put in so much extra work. The advantage of the hex bar is it does force you to adopt a better posture --- if my gym had one I'd be using it for the next month or so to try to get something better happening

Unlucky Form Nazi

You saw the lift, so you know what I'm saying'

You, my dear sir, are an animal! That's some serious John Wayne/Shaft stuff right there. Tough as nails!

More stupidity than tough I suspect

Wow, did you just say you went to the gym right after surgery?

Holy Ca-Rap dude! If ever there was an acceptable day/week for deload, that wuz it right there!

It was a good time to go because the local anaesthetic hadn't worn off --- sore as hell lsat night though; I only got 4 hours sleep because of the pain (and because the painkiller I took left me feeling wired)

Strong work out today, DL's 374x1, good stuff. I always have on long gym pants when doing DL's and focus on the bar touching the leg through thye entire lift, both up and down. I have lost a lot of skin when I had on shorts.

That is some strong deadlifting Andrew. I started wearing long pants like Hazto for the same reason, got tired of bleeding shins.

Thanks David and Eric. I always wear shorts to the gym, but I do have a very dirty pair of tracksuit pants in my gym bag, so I put them on for the heavier sets and tried to drag the bar up the shins. I managed to scrape the shins on a few of the reps but I still seem to lean out to lift the heavier reps
I feel so stupid because I know what I should do, but it just isn't happening

Nice job. AMA I'm sure but inspirational never the less.

Thanks CM --- I just want to get that 405




Today's session:

19th September 2012

172.5lbs

Arms

Dips Tempo 5:2:5
BW x 15
BW+55lbs x 6, 6, 6, 6, 6
BW+22lbs x 10
Slow - great burn

EZ bar curls Tempo 5:2:5
10, 8, 7, 7, 7 x 30kg (66lbs)
supersetted with
DB hammer curls Tempo 5:2:5
12, 12, 12, 12, 12 x 10kg (22lbs)
15 secs between supersets


EZ bar skulls Tempo 5:2:5
12, 10, 10, 8, 8 x 30kg (66lbs)
supersetted with
EZ bar CG presses Tempo 5:2:5
8, 8, 6, 4, 3 x 10kg (22lbs)
15 secs between supersets


Standing Biceps cable curl
7 x 120lbs.....12 x 90lbs.....10 x 60lbs.....20 x 30lbs.....60 second wait
6 x 120lbs......9 x 90lbs.......8 x 60lbs.....16 x 30lbs.....60 second wait
6 x 120lbs......8 x 90lbs.......8 x 60lbs.....10 x 30lbs.....60 second wait

Standing cable triceps extensions
30 x 40lbs.....20 x 80lbs.....8 x 120lbs.....6 x 160lbs.....60 second wait
20 x 40lbs.....16 x 80lbs.....6 x 120lbs.....6 x 160lbs.....60 second wait
20 x 40lbs......15 x 80lbs.....6 x 120lbs.....4 x 160lbs
Ascending sets with 10 sec break

60 minutes


Good arm session today - same regime as the last few weeks and getting a great pump

[robertfah]

Nice lifts Andrew...IMO, don't worry about controlling the lift on the way down with deads....just let it fall, like so:

[fittofattofit]

Nice lifts Andrew...IMO, don't worry about controlling the lift on the way down with deads....just let it fall, like so:

I didn't realise that Layne was deadlifting 645. I love the determination on his face!
Watching his form he starts off pretty flat and does a lot of lifting with his back but he keeps the bar travelling right up his shins. They might not be the best look in town, but I can see why he's wearing the long socks

[super_tactical]

I didn't realise that Layne was deadlifting 645. I love the determination on his face!
Watching his form he starts off pretty flat and does a lot of lifting with his back but he keeps the bar travelling right up his shins. They might not be the best look in town, but I can see why he's wearing the long socks

I've always admired Layne. He's a beast.


Solid DL and arm sessions.

Good job watching the form and not getting ahead of yourself. Injuries aren't worth it, I'm done getting hurt. I think I pushed the 405 before one tiny muscle was ready, out of DLing for a month now. Slow and steady wins the race.

[Payton1221]

The advantage of the hex bar is it does force you to adopt a better posture --- if my gym had one I'd be using it for the next month or so to try to get something better happening

If you're wanting one for a short transitional period, then this probably isn't worth it, but if you were interested in one long term, you might consider buying one and giving it to the gym (or giving it to them for as long as you have a membership).

Standing Biceps cable curl
7 x 120lbs.....12 x 90lbs.....10 x 60lbs.....20 x 30lbs.....60 second wait
6 x 120lbs......9 x 90lbs.......8 x 60lbs.....16 x 30lbs.....60 second wait
6 x 120lbs......8 x 90lbs.......8 x 60lbs.....10 x 30lbs.....60 second wait

Standing cable triceps extensions
30 x 40lbs.....20 x 80lbs.....8 x 120lbs.....6 x 160lbs.....60 second wait
20 x 40lbs.....16 x 80lbs.....6 x 120lbs.....6 x 160lbs.....60

Powerlifter one day, bodybuilder the next

[fittofattofit]

I've always admired Layne. He's a beast.


Solid DL and arm sessions.

Good job watching the form and not getting ahead of yourself. Injuries aren't worth it, I'm done getting hurt. I think I pushed the 405 before one tiny muscle was ready, out of DLing for a month now. Slow and steady wins the race.

Thanks for dropping in Super!
My form on that 170kg deadlift was awful though, but at least I know it
I know that if I ever get to 405 it will be after a lot of stretching and form work --- no more injuries for me (at least that's the plan!)

If you're wanting one for a short transitional period, then this probably isn't worth it, but if you were interested in one long term, you might consider buying one and giving it to the gym (or giving it to them for as long as you have a membership).

I've thought about it but I already bought the Safety Squat bar and out it in the gym. They do have a HS deadlift machine which might be worth me trying out to see how it feels

Powerlifter one day, bodybuilder the next

Mixing it up

20th September 2012

172.5lbs

PT session

Tennis ball MFR glutes

Plank and cable row 12, 12, 12, 12 x 50lbs each side. Form a plank resting on one arm - row a cable weight with the other arm
Heavy duty core activator

Cable chest press side-on to the stack sitting on a swiss ball 12, 12, 12, 12 x 50lb - sitting on a swiss ball side on to the stack and pressing the cable away from the chest. Keeping feet with narrow stance
Core stability + shoulder/RC stability. Narrow stance really forces the core to work

Plank single legged jack-knife with push-ups on a roller 12, 12, 10, 8 x each leg. Plank position, elbows on the ground, one foot on a roller board, and the other suspended - perform a jack-knife with the foot on the roller and do a push-up at full extension
Abs and hip stabilisers totally activated throughout - phukin killed me!

Pistol Squats ATG with TRX 12, 12, 12, 12 x each leg - holding the straps at full extension do an ATG pistol squat (opposite leg extended)
Great for hip/knee stability and can feel it in my hammies and glutes

TRX biceps curls - one armed 12, 12 each arm. Body at 45* facing the straps , straps at arm's length and then curl the palm to the forehead
Good stability exercise for the shoulders and isolates the biceps

Rope triceps extension - one armed 12, 12 x 50lbs each arm. Kneeling, facing away from the stack - OH triceps extension
Good stability exercise for the shoulders and isolates the triceps

rolling + 30 minutes


Really good core and shoulder stability session today
My core is getting stronger and he's starting to throw in extra complexities to make me pay --- putting pushups in between the singe legged jacknives killed me. I collapsed on the floor mid-set a few times and he just made me do singles until I got them all out!
The pistol squats on the TRX are good as well - great for hip stability and balance and I could really feel it in the hammies as well

Skwatz tomorrow!

[EB68]

I feel so stupid because I know what I should do, but it just isn't happening

I feel the exact same way on the deadlifts. I know what to do and how to do it, but can't seem to relay it to my body. Lots of strong work going on in here for sure.

[robertfah]

They do have a HS deadlift machine...

aware plz.....never heard (or seen) such a thing....

[Sillybubba]

Pistol Squats ATG with TRX 12, 12, 12, 12 x each leg - holding the straps at full extension do an ATG pistol squat (opposite leg extended)

Wow, a pistol is a true measure of strength, stability. I think it's a better measure than even squats. One of the hardest movements around. Good on ya!

[fittofattofit]

I feel the exact same way on the deadlifts. I know what to do and how to do it, but can't seem to relay it to my body. Lots of strong work going on in here for sure.

I keep re-thinking about what I'm doing wrong and then I can't wait to get back into the gym to practice some more deads
The head says one thing, but the body does another

aware plz.....never heard (or seen) such a thing....

It's this one which they call a 'ground based squat' machine. Gripping the handles is more like holding on to a hex bar.
Needless to say you can expect some vids once I try it out

Wow, a pistol is a true measure of strength, stability. I think it's a better measure than even squats. One of the hardest movements around. Good on ya!

They were hard, but at least the TRX straps helped keep me stable --- there's no way I would have been able to keep balance otherwise.
My PT said a friend of his (in the Special Forces) does pistol squats while holding a 36kg (80lb) kettle bell

[Payton1221]

Cable chest press side-on to the stack sitting on a swiss ball 12, 12, 12, 12 x 50lb - sitting on a swiss ball side on to the stack and pressing the cable away from the chest. Keeping feet with narrow stance

I guess when you're as jacked as you are, you can unashamedly mention using a swiss ball in your journal

But seriously, if more people did some of the exercises that you do, they'd feel better and MOVE better!

[lllDBOlll]

I keep re-thinking about what I'm doing wrong and then I can't wait to get back into the gym to practice some more deads
The head says one thing, but the body does another



It's this one which they call a 'ground based squat' machine. Gripping the handles is more like holding on to a hex bar.
Needless to say you can expect some vids once I try it out


They were hard, but at least the TRX straps helped keep me stable --- there's no way I would have been able to keep balance otherwise.
My PT said a friend of his (in the Special Forces) does pistol squats while holding a 36kg (80lb) kettle bell

Have you seen that video of that guy doing pistols ON a kettle bell? Unreal...

Will find when I get home.