Were you treated differently after losing alot of weight?

[arsenal55]

270 pounds- got teased. didnt get many girls. i was 5 inches.

170 pounds- lot of friends tell me im an inspiration. i get the girls, im almost 7 inches

[goodfella0729]

good to know for future reference, heh

x34434343

[skelooth]

That comes naturally with age for men only. Men get more manly and distinguished as they age, keeping in shape just pushes it over the top.

[jay24k]

I dont know. I see alot of the hotter chicks with subpar men. Most women I find aren't as superficial as us men. If they click, they are happy. Granted its not the rule and it could be the exception. And it could well be that the man was thinner and different prior.

The difference is most women stick with their man even at their worst appearance. Most men don't.

[Idgaf]

270 pounds- got teased. didnt get many girls. i was 5 inches.

170 pounds- lot of friends tell me im an inspiration. i get the girls, im almost 7 inches

I hope to gain 2 inches as I laugh, then cry, then choke down my plain oatmeal with veggies mixed in cause I thought it would be a good idea. Thinking it was a good idea is the funny part as well as looking down at how big I am atm. lmao

Luckily this thread is inspiring me to keep on eating the oats and not the Oreos in the pantry.

[moose0884]

I went to the grocery store today and one of the cashiers (30 year old woman) tilted her head and asked "Are you in the military?", so I replied "nope, but I'll take that as a compliment?" to which she said "oh definitely! you just carry yourself like a military man". It's not much, but it's a change.

I'm 5'8" and have gone down from 183 to currently 158. I didn't look that fat at 183 with my shirt on, but I was a little "chunky" I guess. I'm not really being treated differently because the change isn't that huge yet, but previously I would never be perceived as athletic or anything. I'll start bulking at some point when I'm at 140 or so, depending on what I look like.

[ozzyaaron]

I think the thing that takes the longest (besides skin) to recover after all the weight loss is your mind. I lost 100kg in 12 months and probably gained a stack of mental issues.

I think it was being exposed to a bunch of new experiences, a new plane of interaction and also tryign to meet the expectations of others on how to act when I had never learned how to be normal. Essentially I had the brain of a 200kg guy and people wondered what was wrong with me. I was as thin or thinner than most others, I certainly was fitter than most (half marathons, BJJ, weights etc) but I still had the brain that saw myself as fat, that acted like a fat person, that didn't have a clue how to react to women, guys, anyone really.

It's been about four years since I lost the weight and I think honestly I'm on my last 10% of getting to a normal level of thinking about myself or seeing myself how I truly am.

I have asked out a few girls that I've known over the last few years but have been turned down in every regard. The first place my mind would go is to my looks, to being overweight etc. That's probably not the case at all and to be honest it's nothing that reflects on me, but my mind is still geared that way. Also they were all pre-existing friends so it was almost the safe option.

Recently I have asked someone out that I didn't really know and things seemed to be going well. Unfortunately it was bad timing but it's definitely breaking new ground for me. Also were as I was devestated over the last girls this too is getting easier. I had massive issues with the first turn down to the point of constant throwing up etc, this time I was bummed for the day and then went on my way. I'll likely keep doing stuff with her but I can protect myself if needed, to be honest it probably won't be. That's a massive mental step.

I think all of this happened as a result of seeing a psych for a while (about a dozen times) and really putting effort into change. I read thoroughly two books and did all the exercises many times, I made it my goal in life to get my head straight. I actually stopped working out some times if i wasn't into it because I knew I'd be better off getting good workouts, I used to just smash it out every time. By getting my head better I see it as building my life now on a structure of concrete rather than sand.

I had an awesome body 12 months ago and was down to single digit body fat. I had interest all the time and was getting chatted up and all sorts. The way women change at that 12% ish bodyfat mark is quite extraordinary. I noticed it on the way down to the abs and then on the way back out of them. Guys are the same, so it's a people thing don't take what I'm saying the wrong way.

Those twelve months ago I didn't have the mental state to be able to deal with any of it and I was a ticking time bomb. I put on 20kg and am now about a month into getting into a better body, this time feels so much more natural rather than psychotic desire like it used to be.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I were to prioritise things for anyone that is losing a drastic amount of weight I would say the first thing to do is get your head straightened out. Then get your eating sorted, then get some exercise. However your head is the start of it all and I honestly think by sorting your head it's almost has a multiplicative input to the hard work you put into diet and exercise. You're more likely to follow th ediet, to get that exercise, to spend time socialising to build your life rather than falling into the pit of bingeing or depression, or just not doing the right thing if your head is good. Also on the other end of it you'll be more able to be a normal person.

Good work all you guys losing weight and that have lost the weight. I'm quite happy these days and I think that August will be four years after starting to lose weight and it was the best thing I ever did

[nerdRN]

I have def. noticed that and I am glad I am not alone. Loosing weight is great, but there are no like rules or like forums about what comes next. I know i got a long way to go still. But i still feel like im 300 lbs like confidence wise i guess is what im saying. But I agree with ya the mental part is harder than loosing the weight to a degree!

[Dennis71]

I have def. noticed that and I am glad I am not alone. Loosing weight is great, but there are no like rules or like forums about what comes next. I know i got a long way to go still. But i still feel like im 300 lbs like confidence wise i guess is what im saying. But I agree with ya the mental part is harder than loosing the weight to a degree!

yeah, its that mental barrier that you gotta break through

[JoeyFitness2009]

I am going to have to agree with my man here! Well said

yep.

i dont really notice much difference when it comes to interacting with guys.
wait, i take that back. i was in the grocery store tonight and there were a couple of guys with their girlfriends there. you notice that they check you out and you can sense their scoping out whether their girlfriend might check you out or some sh*t. kind of wierd in comparison to the past where you'd just walk around and no one paid any attention at all.

theres a big difference interacting with women. they treat you 100% better. you just walk up to a counter some place and they serve you with a big smile and are overly friendly. that never happened before.

it's wierd in a way. women actual act thankful for helping with this or that. whereas before they'd act like it was skin off their back or something.

in some respects its kind of sad how shallow a world we live in.

good thing i hit the weights for myself and not for chics.
the only thing that sucks is once you got the bod going you'll never know whether shes with you in large part due to your bod or becuase of you.

but you know, at the end of the day i'm sure the same thing happens to women who go from flabby to fit.

like i say, superficial world unfortunately.

[Ratix]

/cut

Thx for the nice encouragement.
Indeed you did well asking for help to a psych. People often have fear to ask them for help, as they think it's lame. But it's much better to resort to a psychologist, than to carry the mental problem...
We may get good results by ourselves, but psychologist simply make it much better ^^, with our effort too ofc.
And gratz for your body change. It's nice to see both kind of changes (mental and body that is).

[jvaughan08]

plus when you're skinny and have abs you feel more secure about your relationship imo. it's sad but true there is always some better looking guy out there, but when you're shredded you feel like you lady is proud to be with someone who is in great shape.

you don't feel threatened by other guys she meets in class or whatever, cause odds are he does not have a six pack. everyone who has six on this site deserves major props cause it is tough to achieve a nice 6 or 8 pack, specially when you dont have a speedy metabolism. Plus losing all the weight, you have to make so many changes in your lifestyle it's crazy, so i have mad respect for anyone who lost their weight. I lost around 58, thats nothing compared so some people i've seen.

[MarineVette]

I can't say I've noticed that...but I have noticed the following:

All my life, friends and family alike have never treated my exercise seriously.

When I was a teenager and other kids were playing ball or doing whatever else, I was mocked for practicing martial arts, lifting, or boxing.
Until I got in a fight and then it would be all anybody talked about for a week or two.
"That guy said it was like getting hit with a piece of steel"
"Did you see how fast he threw that kick?"
"Don't piss him off"

In the Marine Corps, it was different, everyone was more like-minded, I guess.

But as a civilian again...I'd hear the negativity:
"Look at the size of your arms! Why do you want arms that big?"
"Why would you need to lift so much weight?"
"All that protein is bad for your kidneys."
"Can't you just workout like a normal person once a week? Why does it have to be every day?"
"I'm tired of hearing about your damn diets and workouts!"
"Those supplements don't do anything, you do fine without them, waste of money."

I don't care, I get vindication from total strangers and track my progress by how strangers react to me.

I'll be shopping in a grocery store by myself, because if I want to eat clean, I have to do the shopping. Total strangers would ask what brands of yogurt to buy or why I had a certain supplement in my cart. I get the same from cashiers as well.

In the gym, people will ask how I learned a particular exercise or how much I can lift, how many times a day do I eat, etc. Sometimes they'll ask if they can work out with me for a day.

The most frustrating thing for me is, when I achieve my goals (I'm halfway closer to where I want to be than I was when I first joined here!), I want to become a personal trainer and help other people achieve their goals. However, the people that I love who probably need it the most won't take my advice, follow my workouts, or eat the food I eat.

Frustrating

[jdogg772000]

I can't say I've noticed that...but I have noticed the following:

All my life, friends and family alike have never treated my exercise seriously.

Amen! The people closest to me have a hard time understanding why I do what I do. My wife was actually scared at first because she thought I was obsessed, and that extra protein and daily exercise was gonna turn me into Dorian Yates over night or something! LOL!

If I decided to run every day, or even train for a triathlon or something, people would make note but not necessarily be offended because the body change isn't as dramatic. I think adding muscle to your body is such a drastic change that folks don't know how to take it.

Add to that they just "don't get" why someone would do such a thing, and you end up being treated like a "weirdo".

[monatu]

The most frustrating thing for me is, when I achieve my goals (I'm halfway closer to where I want to be than I was when I first joined here!), I want to become a personal trainer and help other people achieve their goals. However, the people that I love who probably need it the most won't take my advice, follow my workouts, or eat the food I eat.

Frustrating

Yeh I'm in the same boat. It's just how it is man. One of my best friends is morbidly, morbidly obese and refuses to listen to anything I say. All my other friends who have started getting fat after high school refuse to listen to me because they think they know better. I just laugh and keep in mind that every day goes by I start looking better, and they start looking worse.

At the end of the day, you can talk to people and educate them as much as you can - but they actually have to take the first step and say "look, I need help". Nothing you can really do till then

[Ratix]

but they actually have to take the first step and say "look, I need help".

Mega quote.

[jvaughan08]

Mega quote.

ya for sure, it took my hockey coach telling me to lose 20 lbs or I won't make the team, I lost the 20 pounds, it felt good so i kept going

[ndruo]

I hope to gain 2 inches as I laugh, then cry, then choke down my plain oatmeal with veggies mixed in cause I thought it would be a good idea.

Hahaha, oh man.

That sounds awful. Like, really awful. Just throw a handful of dried cranberries or something in there instead. It'll be way less... disgusting.

A couple of you mentioned the whole seeing your friends let themselves go being a motivating factor. I'm right there with you. I hang out with a bunch of guys who used to play water polo, a sport pretty infamous for its required level of conditioning. They're getting bigger and pudgier every week. I (the fat one) am the only one who's really on a downward trend as far as body fat and weight goes. At the end of the year, I'm gonna be laughing as I rock the flat stomach (OR SIX PACK!) and they have... whatever they have.

I think the funniest excuse/dismissal I heard was "it's not a beer gut, it's a fuel tank for a sex machine."

[JDkeystone]

Main thing I've noticed is getting a lot more attention from some of my male co-workers (one in particular, actually). The compliments are nice, but when some of them start to take it beyond casual flirting (especially when I do nothing to try to encourage it), it really starts to get irritating. Also brings to light the "shallow" aspect; like, I wasn't good enough to talk to when I was heavier, but now that I've lost weight, you're more than willing to talk to me and flirt with me...even when I've made it CLEAR I'm not even interested??

No, thanks.

[jvaughan08]

Main thing I've noticed is getting a lot more attention from some of my male co-workers (one in particular, actually). The compliments are nice, but when some of them start to take it beyond casual flirting (especially when I do nothing to try to encourage it), it really starts to get irritating. Also brings to light the "shallow" aspect; like, I wasn't good enough to talk to when I was heavier, but now that I've lost weight, you're more than willing to talk to me and flirt with me...even when I've made it CLEAR I'm not even interested??

No, thanks.

I agree, I personality counts. I don't talk to any guy or girl who treated me like crap but telling fat jokes in such.

I don't mind the flirting but i readily admit i suck at it so haha i just sound dumb

[JDkeystone]

I don't mind the flirting but i readily admit i suck at it so haha i just sound dumb

Lol well, let's be honest; flirting will only work if the flirter and the flirtee are both into each other. But if it's entirely one-sided...yeah. That ship's gonna sink pretty fast haha.

[jonny3264]

feb 15th 2008

265 lbs.
bdy fat - 66%
175 lbs over weight.
90 lbs of muscle.

march 17 th

222 lbs
bdy fat - 18.5 %
181 lbs. of muscle
41 lbs overweight.

currently:

221 lbs.
bdy fat - 21%
46.5 over weight
174.5 of muscle.

I have literally lost my 25 year old sister in a year.
I have gained a 11 year old in muscle.
when I started I could not walk 10 feet.
or stand on my own feet.....had to lean on something.
my father ripped on me every day.....love to put me down.....he enjoyed it.
I gained the weight to a relaspe of a brain illness.....meds caused alot of this.


when I started I could not bench 50 lbs and I wheezed walking to the gym.
-I can 400 lbs for reps.
-I can back row 385 for reps
-I shoulder press 195 for reps
-I can leg press 1,000 for reps
........cardio right after that cycle....8.0 mph for 10 minutes....elptical.

there is blackbelt in judo/ bjj........picked on me too......that it was funny.
scared ****less of me now......I will thro him through a wall.....break his skull.
my dad runs away from me every time he sees me in the shopping streets.
just halls ass to his sable.........bitch.

went from - 9.2 to a solid 7.4......in one year.
I am getting paper now too.
some prime bitches taking notice.....honest.


hahahahaha

--- jonny

[skelooth]

I'll also throw out there:

When I put weight back on, things went RIGHT BACK to how they were. My opinion counted less, less people wanted to be my friend, and people stopped wanting to make the sexy time. You don't realize how much things have changed until they change back. :angry:

People are superficial creatures. Everytime you meet a new person you subconsioucly rate them against yourself. Even if you say you're not like that you can't help it, it's a natural mechanism we've evolved to help us find suitable mates or judge potential threats.

[jdogg772000]

Lol well, let's be honest; flirting will only work if the flirter and the flirtee are both into each other. But if it's entirely one-sided...yeah. That ship's gonna sink pretty fast haha.

"One-sided flirting": AKA STALKING...

[JDkeystone]

"One-sided flirting": AKA STALKING...

LOL Honestly, that pretty much sums up what that guy at work is doing. When he wouldn't leave me alone every time I came in to start my shift, I finally started taking a detour to get to my desk (so I wouldn't have to walk by his)...til he figured out what I was doing, and now manages to conveniently always be hanging around the area of my detour-path when I come in.

I'm this close to just telling him to **** off and leave me alone in front of all our co-workers, but haven't found the nerve just yet lol.

[pursley]

yep.

i dont really notice much difference when it comes to interacting with guys.
wait, i take that back. i was in the grocery store tonight and there were a couple of guys with their girlfriends there. you notice that they check you out and you can sense their scoping out whether their girlfriend might check you out or some sh*t. kind of wierd in comparison to the past where you'd just walk around and no one paid any attention at all.

theres a big difference interacting with women. they treat you 100% better. you just walk up to a counter some place and they serve you with a big smile and are overly friendly. that never happened before.

it's wierd in a way. women actual act thankful for helping with this or that. whereas before they'd act like it was skin off their back or something.

in some respects its kind of sad how shallow a world we live in.

good thing i hit the weights for myself and not for chics.
the only thing that sucks is once you got the bod going you'll never know whether shes with you in large part due to your bod or becuase of you.

but you know, at the end of the day i'm sure the same thing happens to women who go from flabby to fit.

like i say, superficial world unfortunately.

Completely true / I have seen, a big difference.

[MarkVI]

Biggest difference to date on how I am treated is putting on muscle with a large Shoulder width to waist ratio....You're treated with respect if you're a dude, I don't know about women since I haven't really paid much attention.

[Rabble]

This is my favorite thread on the site but im not here to provide motivation. Just to post a picture of myself:



I really am in the most depressed state of my life. I hope things look up eventually and I can get into something that resembles "fit".

Wouldn't put much stock into it though.

6'1 245lb

[hankst]

Start lifting, start doing cardio, start a proper diet, but most important:

GET MOTIVATED! Drag your ass out, do something! Be patient, disciplined, work on yourself.
I won't lie: it's difficult and the beginning will feel like wandering through the outer realms of hell, but once you're done (or at least see some real progress, as one will never be actually done - but that's just my view of things) it's the most rewarding feeling you can achieve. Ever.

[stancel]

I actually lost more than 100 lbs before.

I did get a lot of positive attention after I had started to lose a lot of weight. However, once it started going "too low" in the minds of some people a lot of people went crazy with their "concerns", and there was a lot of pressure for me to gain weight, suddenly I was being hassled to gain weight, urged to eat junk food, and exercising would be met with complaints about how I shouldn't be exercising.

So I ended up gaining more weight than I had lost and returned to my former habits.

But I've been fat for years since, only recently, January of this year, have I decided to lose weight again and really keep it off.