Anxiety is ruining my life and my body

[Kerrazy]

Hello all, I've been suffering major anxiety for a long time now. 2plus years roughly. I don't know how to beat it anymore. I just started taking a med called effexor about 10 days ago. My theoropist says it's going to take 2 to 4 weeks to feel anything, but I know I can't rely on it. The fact is, I'm just sick of feeling this way. I can't figure out why I do, I've lost pretty much all my motivation to go to the gym. I don't see the point anymore. The only reason I see in going is that it reduces my anxiety although sometimes it makes it worse depending on the day.

I've gained so much weight that losing it feels impossible anymore. 40 lbs. I'm 235 now. I was 195 about 5 months ago. I'm just stuck. I used to use the gym to get out my frustrations. But now it takes all my energy just to go. I lose track of what I'm doing and I just feel restless all the time.

I'm miserable all the time. And everybody hates me for it. Nothing I do feels like it's working. I just want my old motivated self again. I'm 27 and I'm wasting my life. Has anybody went through anything like this? Any advice would help. Thanks in advance.

[moose5180]

One thing i have learned in life that you need to think about. 98% of the stuff you worry and stress about never actually happens. Chin up man its all in your head and YOU are your worst critic i promise.

[rayray905]

Keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. i think you get the point here.

I've been in that state you're currently in and this is what I did because at the end of the day aint no ones gonna have your back but yourself. Ive fully accepted this fact.

The cavalry aint ****in coming man, dont you get it?

I can sit here w/ you and have a pity party about how the one girl Ive only truly loved left me because I wasn't man enough to handle my business and my emotions but that's weak beta **** and we're not gonna do that.

90% of success is JUST SHOWING UP. One of the most inspirational people I always look up to once said that you throw enough **** against the wall, something is bound to stick. His name is Greg ****ing Plitt.

You can get through this man, I believe in you.

[nvliftin2]

Look my man, I dont mean to be harsh, but heres the truth. I was going through what you are for ages. Constantly looking at myself thinking "im fat" "I hate the way I look" yet I never made an effort to get my ass up and do something about it.

Who's fault is that? My fault because I didnt do anything. Once I did I realized how easy it was to change myself and become the person who I want. JUST GO TO THE GYM. get a feel for it, see your surroundings slowly get into it and it will become part of your lifestyle.

Im currently down 40kgs and have never felt better, as soon as I realized that the change is only going to come when I start working, I saw results.

[Kerrazy]

Thanks for the responses. I'm not trying to come off as a bitch about it. It's just a lot more serious than I ever wanted to admit. It's not the fact that I feel like I'm fat because I know I can lose it. I've done it before. It's people that cause me to get anxiety. Social anxiety is the worst. Feeling emotionless sucks and I'm trying everything to get out of it. I used to be a motivated mofo until I started seeing everything through a filter and a cloud. I wish i could say hell yeah I'm going to do it and have confidence in myself. But I ****ING Can't. Can't shouldn't be in my dictionary, but what's the point. I used to go to the gym all the time hoping that someday I would get the girl of my dreams, earn respect from my friends and family, because I've never had respect from anybody. I've been **** on my whole life. There was a time where it didn't matter to me who **** on me. But now I've let it get to me. Now I've made it my life. I'm not gonna stop going to the gym. I just need to find my confidence again.

[SuitedGhoul]

You handle your business, it becomes a habit once you kick yourself in the ass. This is the toughest part because internally you want to cry like a punk but take control and say "f#ck this, I'm the motherf#cking boss and I'm only getting sexier. Women want me, men want to be me." Be who you want to be now because no matter what condition your body is in, you're still that awesome guy everyone wants to be around.

[latebloomingmom]

yes honey I am aware of that medication. give it some time to kick in ok? sometimes depression and anxiety kinda sneak up on ya and ya cant really put your finger on exactly when it was ya started to feel like crud.

Some people can pin point it..the day my dog died or that horrible car crash or when I bombed out of school

but for others its a gradual feeling of not being able to do the things you used to do all the time
you get bogged down, worn out..where it might take you hours in morning just to talk yourself into leaving the house to do something
simple like go to store to get some milk

anxiety often goes hand and hand with it
I would also suggest maybe having a counselor to go and talk to?

[PieWheatley]

So many people have social anxiety nowadays and I know how brave it is to stand up to it. I think people who are unfortunate to suffer anxiety go one of two ways:

- They lay down and die and let it defeat them, always being a slave to this imaginary, yes imaginary fear of what 'could happen', how someone possibly might be perceiving them. Constantly thinking the worst, critiquing and putting themselves down. "The only enemy we have is the enemy within". They live within this confined world of avoidance, they basically just exist, never pushing themselves, never realising the fake boundaries and limitations they have put upon themselves.

- Or they start fighting back. They realise the seriousness and the difficulty of this crippling condition. But they change their mindset, they start congratulating themselves for the little achievements. They realise how farking brave they are to front the world each day. They gain confidence from every experience in which they really stop and look fear in the eye, they realise that they MUST do the thing they think they cannot do. THey know it will be hard, that it's the road less travelled, but the satisfaction of confronting and looking fear in they eye cannot be underestimated. They improve themself daily. In any field. They set goals, they use quotes, they realise that life is not worth living to just exist. Get busy living or get busy dying. They think of the man on his deathbed who once said that he'd had a lot of worries in his life...most of which had never happened.

Just decide. Decide to take the road less travelled.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. THE CREDIT belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. "

Dare greatly. This is an opportunity. A reason to grow. Just take the first step...

[akeod99]

Not sure I have great advice here nor sure I should comment. Up until recently, I've never struggled with anxiety, or even ptsd (was EOD from 99 - 08 - think Hurt Locker). Until like Christmas this year. I can almost pinpoint why for me. My heart stopped beating on Dec 19. Didn't have a heart attack. I'm 36. They did chest compressions and bam, I came back up. Doc said I was strong and pretty fit so it didn't make sense. They did a ton of tests and my heart was great. He said he wished he had my heart in him. We got it sorted out and I'm good to go but it still messed with my head. I had some anxiety and bouts with ptsd all of the sudden. All that stuff was new to me. I would be up and down. Random times of anxiety would hit me. Didn't love crowds, movie theaters, or anything like that. Loud noises, sitting with my back towards people, random things you know. I still have it; however, it is starting to go away, day by day, but it's been a bit of a battle through it. I sympathize with you. I've had to be real intentional about doing things anyway - even if I was down, tired, and didn't feel like it. There is a point, at least for me, when resolve just kicks in. You may be down, feeling crappy, but at the end of the day, you have to resolve to move forward. I was pretty sure I was gonna die and then all of the sudden, I was like, "um, no, not yet, gonna come out of this stronger and better." Use this anxiety as fuel. Find something to get fired up about and drive towards it and through the anxiety. I have no idea if I'm right on this ...but I just don't think finding the resolve to just keep moving forward is a bad thing. Focus on what you can control and then press on. I can't imagine it is easy so good luck!

[Kerrazy]

I Have a psychotherapist that I am talking to right now. And yeah I'm hoping that I feel it's effect here soon. I just have no drive for anything right now. I'm hoping that changes...he says that I'm clinically depressed. That's why meds are so important to help you.

[Kerrazy]

You know, it's not even the anxiety that's really upsetting me. It's the loss of motivation and drive that i uses to have that gets to me. I feel like there's no point to anything anymore. It's a horrible feeling

So many people have social anxiety nowadays and I know how brave it is to stand up to it. I think people who are unfortunate to suffer anxiety go one of two ways:

- They lay down and die and let it defeat them, always being a slave to this imaginary, yes imaginary fear of what 'could happen', how someone possibly might be perceiving them. Constantly thinking the worst, critiquing and putting themselves down. "The only enemy we have is the enemy within". They live within this confined world of avoidance, they basically just exist, never pushing themselves, never realising the fake boundaries and limitations they have put upon themselves.

- Or they start fighting back. They realise the seriousness and the difficulty of this crippling condition. But they change their mindset, they start congratulating themselves for the little achievements. They realise how farking brave they are to front the world each day. They gain confidence from every experience in which they really stop and look fear in the eye, they realise that they MUST do the thing they think they cannot do. THey know it will be hard, that it's the road less travelled, but the satisfaction of confronting and looking fear in they eye cannot be underestimated. They improve themself daily. In any field. They set goals, they use quotes, they realise that life is not worth living to just exist. Get busy living or get busy dying. They think of the man on his deathbed who once said that he'd had a lot of worries in his life...most of which had never happened.

Just decide. Decide to take the road less travelled.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. THE CREDIT belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. "

Dare greatly. This is an opportunity. A reason to grow. Just take the first step...

[option2]

Kerrazy bro think about what you just said in your last post. It's all tied together man, more often than not anxiety and depression go hand in hand. What happened to me in HS was I let my self confidence slide hard, I started listening to the haters and their comments about my overweight body, I was 14 f**king years old, well my negative self image lead me into depression, before I knew it I was having problems with anxiety because I was so ungodly self conscious and thought that everyone in the world looked at me like the bully's did. Well I saw a dr and tried every antidepressant under the sun, none really seemed to help until finally Effexor did. Lexapro was by FAR the worst. The Effexor helped me realize that the only person that can or ever will run my life is me, I and only i will decide what upsets me and what doesn't, I was probably 6months or so from turning 16 at that point, it was June school was out, I made up my mind to make some changes and I did everything I could think of (most of it completely off base haha oh to be young and dumb) to gain muscle and drop fat, by the next year in school I looked a lot better, ever since then My confidence has been pretty good, my anxiety very manageable without any meds or treatments at all, it's not possible 100% of the time but sometimes I think a person can almost pull themselves out of it and with the right mindset and an assload of determination and dicipline they can come out ahead without going on pharmaceuticals or talking to some goofy b@stard in a funny smelling office once or twice a week. Keep your head up and keep charging forward bro, it'll get better, I have faith in you

[Kerrazy]

High school was probably the worst experience of my life. I was the butt of everyone's joke. I was a short chubby kid that let everyone mess with me. I was on the football team the whole time and the hazing was rediculous. I let it get to me and I was the target because of that. Growing up was tough because I really didn't make a single friend. I've had bad luck all my life and I still remember all those moments. I wish I could just move past it but I cant. It stuck with me because of the stupid decisions that I made. I decided to make friends with people that used and ****ed with me. I was so desperate for attention that I was a people pleaser and all that really mattered to me was that people liked me. I'm not that way anymore. In fact, i decided to talk to any of them anymore when I came back from AIT. But my entire goal of my whole life was to prove people wrong about me. That I was better than them. But after years of trying, years of getting **** on. Years of fighting with my family. Years of unstable **** that always gets thrown at me. I lost it. My grandmother told me I'm nothing but a piece of **** who wanted me to choose between my mom and her because she hates my mother. Because of her, I lost respect for my mother, not only for that but from stuff that she did.

It's just, inside of me, I can't stand people. Idk where the nice side of me went. Where my confident side went. Where my motivation went. Now I see dark and gloomy stuff everywhere. To me, there's no point to getting motivated because it leads me no where. I moved out twice, only to get ****ed over by the people I moved in with. I'm afraid to get close to anyone be either guy or girl. Because I'm insecure and when I get messed with, my brain shuts down and I claim up. I see darkness in everyone. Negativity everywhere.

I feel the effexor kicking in. The only way I can get out of this is to isolate myself until I get my confidence back. All my family does is judge me. Or ask me to do something for them. I'm just sick of it. I want to fight back.

Because of all the **** that happened to me. I have this terrible habit of trying to be someone else. I feel like I have no personality. Whenever I do talk to someone, I try to think of what someone else would say. I'm sick of overthinking things.

[DirtyCuban]

Do you know what time of therapy your therapist is using? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is extremely useful in anxiety and/or depression. Many doctors use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but some are specialists in it. I would recommend looking into therapists that specialize in it. Obviously if you are comfortable and happy with your therapist do not change. But it is important to know if you feel as though it is not helping there is no harm in seeing another therapist/psychologist. Sometimes getting the view point of another is beneficial. There is no miracle thing that will make it all better but you should see progress over periods of time. In many cases it also takes time to find the right drugs and doses for those drugs. All because one drug does not work right away it doesnt mean it never will. Hang in there with it because it will get better. Im sure people have told you but find hobbies that you like. Set goals to meet. Reading helped me tremendously with anxiety but it is all up to what you prefer.

[ContrarianIndi]

I had horrible anxiety/panic attacks for 8 years. Hated my life because of it. Finally overcame it when I embraced it. Stopped over-analyzing things and thinking "what if"

I know what you're going through brah, you'll make it.

[shrike9]

I know exactly how you feel OP.
I had anxiety for a long time, and it used to be crippling.
What really really helps me though is one key thing -- meditating.
Try closing your eyes for at least 5 minutes at a time and just deep breathing and trying to be still.
If you keep doing that, it can really cure you.
http://www.ascendexistence.com/runni...rugs-you-need/

[jwarrenfit]

i posted this in another thread the other day about this

I feel very strongly about this subject as I suffered horrible anxiety younger all the way up till my early 20's. When i 13 i was on meds briefly, but even at that age i knew it wasnt the answer. I at lunch alone in the library or bathroom most of the time. You need to figure out where this anxiety comes from and/or get some purpose in your life. This will give you value.

Try to find routines and rituals that will help. Surround yourself with positive affirmations. I put quotes up all over my room that inspired me, had a morning routine. Get as physically healthy as possible by eating real food and ketosis can even help imo. Do things that make you uncomfortable. i took theater and public speaking classes in college... Just because i knew i had to get over this ****.

Look up flow state by the hungarian professor. I like his views, find a purpose in life that is rewarding and challenging at the same time. For me it was fitness, for you it may be as well or something else. But you have to feel like you are contributing somehow to the world. What do you have to contribute OP? Do that and be genuine in your efforts and you will get over it.

Anxiety is something that can be overcome, and in the long run you will be even better. I still feel anxious a little bit at times but i recognize its irrational.

Something that helped me was when i thought about the things i judged people on. Then i thought about the things that scared me that i may be judged about. I realized my fears were irrational and the things we are most anxious about mean little to anyone else. And if they do that person is probably a POS

[Kerrazy]

i posted this in another thread the other day about this

I feel very strongly about this subject as I suffered horrible anxiety younger all the way up till my early 20's. When i 13 i was on meds briefly, but even at that age i knew it wasnt the answer. I at lunch alone in the library or bathroom most of the time. You need to figure out where this anxiety comes from and/or get some purpose in your life. This will give you value.

Try to find routines and rituals that will help. Surround yourself with positive affirmations. I put quotes up all over my room that inspired me, had a morning routine. Get as physically healthy as possible by eating real food and ketosis can even help imo. Do things that make you uncomfortable. i took theater and public speaking classes in college... Just because i knew i had to get over this ****.

Look up flow state by the hungarian professor. I like his views, find a purpose in life that is rewarding and challenging at the same time. For me it was fitness, for you it may be as well or something else. But you have to feel like you are contributing somehow to the world. What do you have to contribute OP? Do that and be genuine in your efforts and you will get over it.

Anxiety is something that can be overcome, and in the long run you will be even better. I still feel anxious a little bit at times but i recognize its irrational.

Something that helped me was when i thought about the things i judged people on. Then i thought about the things that scared me that i may be judged about. I realized my fears were irrational and the things we are most anxious about mean little to anyone else. And if they do that person is probably a POS

I remember a time when I would find anything to inspire me. I would always find something or another yo get me through the day and just motivate me being hopeful for future. I used to always try to be an honest person, take responisbities for my actions, and just be the guy that always did the right thing....let me tell you something. It doesn't pay off. I always felt like I was owed something that karma would work it's way back around. That if I continues to work hard and try that it would pay off....well that didn't happen. I had my priorities wrong when it came to working hard, as in, I worked hard for the wrong things. And worried too much about the wrong things and yes I'm very bitter when I came to that conclusion. I was working my hardest to make friends and keep friends that I never worried about what i truly liked or wanted to do. I feel like I want to break past this...this rutt that I'm in. I feel like I want to get passed it. There is just this wall...this stupid ass wall that blocks me everytime I get close to that point. This wall that blocks my emotions...this defense mechanism that my brain feels like it had to activate due to intense amxiety. This I don't care attitude about anything anymore. I feel the effexor is helping. My anxiety subsided a lot and I just got a double dosage. My main thing is I just want to feel inspired again. I want to feel like I can do what I want when I want and just be happy with myself. The happiness with myself is the hardest part right now. I feel no accomplishment when I do anything. Sorry, trying to vent when I can since I can't do it often. I'm just....socially awkward and I feel like I can break it .i just gave up the will to do so. I used to feel like I can do soo many things...I want to feel luke that again. The truth is...going back to when I was saying I was butter when I realized what I realized.....I fed off people's admiration and attention they gave me. When I realized that that's all my life consisted of...I didnt know where to go from there...and I fell in this rutt.

[cozuzu]

Hello all, I've been suffering major anxiety for a long time now. 2plus years roughly. I don't know how to beat it anymore. I just started taking a med called effexor about 10 days ago. My theoropist says it's going to take 2 to 4 weeks to feel anything, but I know I can't rely on it. The fact is, I'm just sick of feeling this way. I can't figure out why I do, I've lost pretty much all my motivation to go to the gym. I don't see the point anymore. The only reason I see in going is that it reduces my anxiety although sometimes it makes it worse depending on the day.

I've gained so much weight that losing it feels impossible anymore. 40 lbs. I'm 235 now. I was 195 about 5 months ago. I'm just stuck. I used to use the gym to get out my frustrations. But now it takes all my energy just to go. I lose track of what I'm doing and I just feel restless all the time.

I'm miserable all the time. And everybody hates me for it. Nothing I do feels like it's working. I just want my old motivated self again. I'm 27 and I'm wasting my life. Has anybody went through anything like this? Any advice would help. Thanks in advance.

Hey Kerrazy,
Hope this post gets to you. I admit, I am an anxiety dream catcher and all that does to me is make my life a living hell when I make little worries the most horrible things that come to mind. Worse, was when I allowed myself in the hands of the wrong people that tell me that I am no good enough to reach high. I'm sure everyone in this post can apply that working out is not just about the body, but your mindset changes alot and it's up to you to take responsibility of your precious life. Go to the gym, meet fit minded people, meet people that aligned with your goals, eat healthier. Even better, take a 5 minute walk. In fact, look up Mateusz M of YouTube and watch at least 3 videos. I been through alot over the past few years to realize that my anxiety is something I often overlooked but in reality is me afraid of putting in the work to get to where I want to be. Cut off crappy people, write your top goals and surround yourself with at least one person that gives a crap about you and it makes a huge difference. Like my dude, Terry Crews said."Treat the gym like a Spa" and just go.

Take it easy.

[Kerrazy]

It's been over a month since I started effexor. My anxiety has been reduced substantially and I'm feeling better but nowhere near how I used to feel. I feel like I'm starting to get emotions back but...now I feel the loneliness I once felt before. I know this is part of emotions, but it sucks because I still don't have the motivation to combat it....in the gym that is.

When I used to work out at the gym, I used to think about all the things I want to accomplish and thay each time I work hard, I would move closer and closer to my goal. Weather that would be a girl I liked at the time or moving up at a job or college. Now...I still feel like what's the point. I'll always be a joke when it comes to women, I got too many student loans that I'm going to owe if I go back to school, I'm never gonna find a good job....

I started a job about a week ago as a security guard. I like it but the pay isn't the best. I went out to look for apartments and I found a place that it's going to be a struggle to pay for but I can manage if I work ot and be conservative. I'm happy everytime I think about moving into this apartment because I'm sick of living with my family but I'm the kind of person who thinks about what's going to happen if I can't manage payments....

I know my biggest fear is abandonment and I don't want to get close to people because of that reason...I just got done working out and I'm trying my hardest to keep at it....I really don't know what's making me go but I still try to go..I dont feel accomplished when I'm done...my diet sucks and it's not going to get better living with depression and at my gmas house with my lack of motivation...but I'm trying. I just feel like working out is useless if I'm not going to eat perfectly...and if it did, it wouldn't change anything in my life....I'll still be a joke.

[NMS3]

Keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. keep going to the gym. i think you get the point here.

I've been in that state you're currently in and this is what I did because at the end of the day aint no ones gonna have your back but yourself. Ive fully accepted this fact.

The cavalry aint ****in coming man, dont you get it?

I can sit here w/ you and have a pity party about how the one girl Ive only truly loved left me because I wasn't man enough to handle my business and my emotions but that's weak beta **** and we're not gonna do that.

90% of success is JUST SHOWING UP. One of the most inspirational people I always look up to once said that you throw enough **** against the wall, something is bound to stick. His name is Greg ****ing Plitt.

You can get through this man, I believe in you.

Real talk, dude. Everything you said is spot-on.

[SipNPiz]

Ashwaghanda herb brah srs take it not sure on spelling

[cmt029]

Hey man- I know how you feel. I've had social anxiety my whole life. I still do to a degree.

First thing you need to learn is to flush out all the the negative thoughts bouncing all over the place in your head. Meditation can help. I'm sure it will be excruciating to you at first but with some practice you can clear your head out and feel some zen. When meditation works a half hour session can pass by in what feels like the blink of an eye. But it takes LOTS of practice to truly be able to clear your head out. I get a similar zen feeling from intense exercise.

Also, just realize that 90% of people's opinions about you don't mean sh*t. How many of these people really know you? It's like you're giving all these idiots power over you by allowing them to control your psyche like that. Bullies will often pick on what they perceive to be an easy target to make themselves feel better. Don't allow all that to bring you down.

Here is an exercise: Before you start getting a knot in your stomach about leaving the house and hitting the gym just grab your gym clothes and go out the door. Don't think twice about it. People with high anxiety tend to be overthinkers, often fabricating the worst possible outcome in situations in their minds. Don't overthink, just do.

I would cease referring to yourself as a joke, or putting yourself down at all. A lot of people with low self-esteem will try to put themselves down before someone else can. Get out of that mindset, because every time you put yourself down you're reenforcing that in your mind.

Look man, you're not in high school any more. High school was a sh*t show for lots of people. Things change as you get older and the crowd around you becomes more mature.

[Rickck48]

Thanks for the responses. I'm not trying to come off as a bitch about it. It's just a lot more serious than I ever wanted to admit. It's not the fact that I feel like I'm fat because I know I can lose it. I've done it before. It's people that cause me to get anxiety. Social anxiety is the worst. Feeling emotionless sucks and I'm trying everything to get out of it. I used to be a motivated mofo until I started seeing everything through a filter and a cloud. I wish i could say hell yeah I'm going to do it and have confidence in myself. But I ****ING Can't. Can't shouldn't be in my dictionary, but what's the point. I used to go to the gym all the time hoping that someday I would get the girl of my dreams, earn respect from my friends and family, because I've never had respect from anybody. I've been **** on my whole life. There was a time where it didn't matter to me who **** on me. But now I've let it get to me. Now I've made it my life. I'm not gonna stop going to the gym. I just need to find my confidence again.

When most of us have this thing about doing all this working out or training for the purpose of getting others we fail. First and foremost stop making this about getting others. Make it about the most important person there is and that is YOU! What you want to see, how you want to feel and what you want to do. It doesn't matter what others think, they don't matter. It's what you think of yourself. Please understand don't let others phase in, you be the phase and the other stuff will come to you! Best of Blessings to you.

[Insilicio]

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=143525223

Try meditation.

[mahoney93]

Hey man, STAY STRONG!
I have a youtube channel and i am here to help!
I post many vids weekly and tomorrow i am posting one regarding juicing fruits and vegetables! Many don't know this but different veggies help with anxiety/stress. Check out my channel and look forward to tomorrows video!!! I think it will help, as i have suffered from anxiety for awhile but finally am starting to feel clear!
STAY STRON man!
Channel name : Billy Mahoneyvlogs
if you can't find it message me i will send you my url!

[Kerrazy]

Hey man- I know how you feel. I've had social anxiety my whole life. I still do to a degree.

First thing you need to learn is to flush out all the the negative thoughts bouncing all over the place in your head. Meditation can help. I'm sure it will be excruciating to you at first but with some practice you can clear your head out and feel some zen. When meditation works a half hour session can pass by in what feels like the blink of an eye. But it takes LOTS of practice to truly be able to clear your head out. I get a similar zen feeling from intense exercise.

Also, just realize that 90% of people's opinions about you don't mean sh*t. How many of these people really know you? It's like you're giving all these idiots power over you by allowing them to control your psyche like that. Bullies will often pick on what they perceive to be an easy target to make themselves feel better. Don't allow all that to bring you down.

Here is an exercise: Before you start getting a knot in your stomach about leaving the house and hitting the gym just grab your gym clothes and go out the door. Don't think twice about it. People with high anxiety tend to be overthinkers, often fabricating the worst possible outcome in situations in their minds. Don't overthink, just do.

I would cease referring to yourself as a joke, or putting yourself down at all. A lot of people with low self-esteem will try to put themselves down before someone else can. Get out of that mindset, because every time you put yourself down you're reenforcing that in your mind.

Look man, you're not in high school any more. High school was a sh*t show for lots of people. Things change as you get older and the crowd around you becomes more mature.

I know what your saying and i get it, its just, motivation is definitely not in my vocabulary right now. Right now, I'm doing good going to the gym and working out and watching what i'm eating. I done it long but i think i will see results if i keep at it...The thing of it is, I dunno whats pushing me to do it. Its not motivation, it just feels like something I have to do and its a numb feeling going to the gym every day.

As far as people's opinions are concerned, its not that i care about what people think of me...i mean i do a lot. Its I don't know who I am or what i like. Im not satisfied with I'm doing right now and the things I like to do. It doesn't fullfill me. My personality doesn't fullfill me. nothing I do does. Its not that I'm not trying, its just, it feels like void. An empty void that leads to nothing. Numbness.

Its true, we arent in highschool anymore, but that doesnt mean that i don't have regrets. My one brother is a very social person and he went to the bar a couple weeks ago. apparently My 10 yr highschool reunion is comming up in a couple months. He said that he saw a few people that i went to highschool with and they were asking about me....how can i face them, when i'm still going through this ****. How can I? How can i show my face around them when I still get these absurd memories of people making fun of me back in that day. It sounds stupid and petty, Its like ptsd from highschool that I always had the courage to face until it hit me all at once. I told him, I didnt want to see anybody from there....

I used to be such an emotional guy, I used to write poetry, listen to music and sing along, hear myself sing...have hopes and dreams of things that i wanted to do. Cry, get angry, be confident, even though i kept my confidence inside and it was broken easily, I was always able to build myself back up and move forward...now. I can't.. i haven't climbed out of this depression hole that I put myself in. I dont know how...

Meditation, I tried it a few times, but for meditation, I feel like you need something to believe in to do it. The confidence to relax. Idk...I also feel like its something stupid that wont work, just like everything else. Thats why i didnt really stick with it. Idk....All i wanted, was respect in my life. Someone that gets me and wants to be around me. Friends...a gf....something.. idk. Ive become a loner, I mean, i always was somewhat of one, but more of an independent kind of way. Now..i really am one.

[cmt029]

I know what your saying and i get it, its just, motivation is definitely not in my vocabulary right now. Right now, I'm doing good going to the gym and working out and watching what i'm eating. I done it long but i think i will see results if i keep at it...The thing of it is, I dunno whats pushing me to do it. Its not motivation, it just feels like something I have to do and its a numb feeling going to the gym every day.

As far as people's opinions are concerned, its not that i care about what people think of me...i mean i do a lot. Its I don't know who I am or what i like. Im not satisfied with I'm doing right now and the things I like to do. It doesn't fullfill me. My personality doesn't fullfill me. nothing I do does. Its not that I'm not trying, its just, it feels like void. An empty void that leads to nothing. Numbness.

Its true, we arent in highschool anymore, but that doesnt mean that i don't have regrets. My one brother is a very social person and he went to the bar a couple weeks ago. apparently My 10 yr highschool reunion is comming up in a couple months. He said that he saw a few people that i went to highschool with and they were asking about me....how can i face them, when i'm still going through this ****. How can I? How can i show my face around them when I still get these absurd memories of people making fun of me back in that day. It sounds stupid and petty, Its like ptsd from highschool that I always had the courage to face until it hit me all at once. I told him, I didnt want to see anybody from there....

I used to be such an emotional guy, I used to write poetry, listen to music and sing along, hear myself sing...have hopes and dreams of things that i wanted to do. Cry, get angry, be confident, even though i kept my confidence inside and it was broken easily, I was always able to build myself back up and move forward...now. I can't.. i haven't climbed out of this depression hole that I put myself in. I dont know how...

Meditation, I tried it a few times, but for meditation, I feel like you need something to believe in to do it. The confidence to relax. Idk...I also feel like its something stupid that wont work, just like everything else. Thats why i didnt really stick with it. Idk....All i wanted, was respect in my life. Someone that gets me and wants to be around me. Friends...a gf....something.. idk. Ive become a loner, I mean, i always was somewhat of one, but more of an independent kind of way. Now..i really am one.

I harbored a lot of the same feelings that you have into my 30s and I'd hate for someone else to go through the same thing for that long. Trust me- I had a rough go through elementary and high school. I was a really quiet/shy person so it made it really easy for people to pick on me, which happened daily.

It's easier said than done but just let go of all of your regrets. If you look at it from the perspective of you're feeling bad about something you can never go back and change then it makes it a little easier to let go. I understand the pit in the stomach when you think about an embarrassing moment or missed opportunity but there's nothing you can do to change those things- they are far in the past. It doesn't make logical sense to worry about something you have no power to change. One of the greatest things you can do is to learn to let go.

On the other hand, you can now identify moments that you would normally regret in the future and use that as motivation to take action now.

It does suck when you see people who have made fun of you in the past. It really does. But hopefully they've changed over the last ten years. Most people change over the years, get more humble. I'm sure some are still aholes but hopefully most of the others have matured.

Mediation is all about clearing your mind really, simple as that. If done properly it can put a lot of negative feelings at bay and allow yourself to feel lighter/happier. It's simple really - you just need to focus on something, it can be either your own breath or a guided meditation you can download off the net. While you're doing it just be aware when your mind starts chattering/wandering and refocus - keep your mind as quiet/empty as possible. The point really is to silence your brain for a period of time. If you do it enough you can almost silence it at will. Personally I like to sit back and focus on my own deep breathing for a half hour-45 minutes. Works wonders for clearing out the unnecessary chatter in your mind.

Try revisiting some of the things you love to do. If you want to meet like-minded people try joining something like meetup.com and join groups that suit your interests. I think with a few steps you can feel a lot better.

As far as the gym is concerned something as silly as wanting to look better for girls motivates a lot of people. I would suggest setting a specific goal though whether you want a low bodyfat or want to gain strength and size, whatever. I find having a clear goal to work towards always keeps me motivated to keep going back. Also having a strategy for getting there.

[Kerrazy]

I harbored a lot of the same feelings that you have into my 30s and I'd hate for someone else to go through the same thing for that long. Trust me- I had a rough go through elementary and high school. I was a really quiet/shy person so it made it really easy for people to pick on me, which happened daily.

It's easier said than done but just let go of all of your regrets. If you look at it from the perspective of you're feeling bad about something you can never go back and change then it makes it a little easier to let go. I understand the pit in the stomach when you think about an embarrassing moment or missed opportunity but there's nothing you can do to change those things- they are far in the past. It doesn't make logical sense to worry about something you have no power to change. One of the greatest things you can do is to learn to let go.

On the other hand, you can now identify moments that you would normally regret in the future and use that as motivation to take action now.

It does suck when you see people who have made fun of you in the past. It really does. But hopefully they've changed over the last ten years. Most people change over the years, get more humble. I'm sure some are still aholes but hopefully most of the others have matured.

Mediation is all about clearing your mind really, simple as that. If done properly it can put a lot of negative feelings at bay and allow yourself to feel lighter/happier. It's simple really - you just need to focus on something, it can be either your own breath or a guided meditation you can download off the net. While you're doing it just be aware when your mind starts chattering/wandering and refocus - keep your mind as quiet/empty as possible. The point really is to silence your brain for a period of time. If you do it enough you can almost silence it at will. Personally I like to sit back and focus on my own deep breathing for a half hour-45 minutes. Works wonders for clearing out the unnecessary chatter in your mind.

Try revisiting some of the things you love to do. If you want to meet like-minded people try joining something like meetup.com and join groups that suit your interests. I think with a few steps you can feel a lot better.

As far as the gym is concerned something as silly as wanting to look better for girls motivates a lot of people. I would suggest setting a specific goal though whether you want a low bodyfat or want to gain strength and size, whatever. I find having a clear goal to work towards always keeps me motivated to keep going back. Also having a strategy for getting there.

Like I said before in almost all of my posts, I feel numb to everything. Its the emotions that I want back more than anything, something that can make me feel something. I don't allow myself to hope, I don't allow myself to feel, I don't allow myself to do much of anything. I can't get excited or happy about anything because I'm a robot all day. Its hard going from emotional to numb. Its like I really don't know anything about myself and Ive made myself this way so I don't hurt anymore like I used to. Idk if this effexor is supposed to help, there are some days where i feel a little bit of emotion, but....not many.

I remember this assuring confidence that I used to have in myself, this never give up attitude that I got my strength off of. But....than i remember why i feel this way. I used to get my strength helping people, hoping that some day, they would return the favor because thats what friends do right? Growing up, even before highschool, I was always ****ed with. Because of that, I didnt really have any friends. I think i wanted to change myself, in order to get those friends that I wanted sooo badly. It got so bad that when I saw someone that got along with everyone, I would try to act like them, because my personality wasnt enough for me. Although, that was just a social thing at the time, but as things progressed and nothing ever got better, it became a habit of mine that I would do this without thinking. Trying to act like somebody that im not. Weather thatd be somebody on tv, or somebody in RL. It didn't matter, I looked at how he was responding to everyone and how everyone respected him and I knew (at the time) if i acted that away, than it would happen to me too....at least thats what i told myself.

This progressed for years....years...and years.....to the point where I drove myself crazy. I got tired of it. I didn't want to act like somebody else. I wanted to act like me....But now...I don't know who I am? I mean I do...but I dont. I dont have a personality. I feel nothing. I feel like a zombie half the time, and I get myself to do things that I feel need to be done....not for any reason besides that. Idk why I feel they need to be done..I just do.

I had this copycat attitude for as long as i can remember. I didn't know how to do anything else. But...one day I told myself, this has got to change. And I tried my hardest to catch myself copying someone everytime I did it. I tortured myself trying to break this habit and I did, but now....I feel like it backfired on me. I feel everytime I get happy or act happy, or mad or whatever....I'm just copying someone else and i stop. I zone it out and i feel nothing. Maybe thats one of the reasons I act the way I do. maybe.....

I never accepted depression as a thing. I never wanted to believe it could be real. I always thought people were making excuses for the reasons they act the way they do when they say they are depressed. I never thought it could actually be a chemical inbalance in your brain....The day I did accept it is probably when I became it. Idk just my thoughts on this whole thing

[ProteinNCarbs]

I get some bad anxiety about every few days bud. It ranges from different things. Social interactions like scared to death to step on an elevator with a stranger just because i may have to talk to them so i take the stairs. But then also anxiety about just everyday life things and worrying. What I try to do is work thru my anxiety with reason/logic. Why am I scared to go on the elevator? Probably because it involves a stranger, I may have to talk to them, I may be awkward and hit the wrong floor. Now could these things happen? Yes. Are they a big deal? Well reason says no it isn't. ANd I tell my self I'm over thinking it and its just my emotions getting worked up and the anxiety will subside.

As far as the gym motivation. All I can say is going to the gym is like pottery. When you start a pottery class you have this thick hard clump of clay. Its very difficult to shape/mold it into what you want to do. This is how your body is right now. But once you start spinning the clay it slowly starts heating up. And it becomes easier and easier after time to shape that clay into any sculpture you want. Thats what your body will be like if you stay committed to the gym.

If you keep away from the gym you'll only stay a hard piece of clay. But if you go to the gym and be consistent with it. And you don't even have to go hardcore all the time. make it short if you have to maybe 20-30 minutes. But you gotta put the effort in. If you burn out physically I guarantee you won't burn out mentally. If you stay at it there will come a day where you will start to see progress and once that day comes you'll be like the heated up clay and it'll be easier and easier to shape your body the way you'd like. I can guarantee things won't get better if you just give up though. Stay at it