wtf is wrong w/ people

[Meathead.]

I am really beginning to question people..

As you trainers know, how aggrivating it can be to constantly try to motivate and get people results, and those of you who truly care and put your everything into trying to help people, and the end result sometimes not being worth it

I've recently been trying to help someone out, show them the ropes, proper nutrition, training...etc all for free. Taking time from my days throughout the week...etc

Initially they came to me wanting to get into good shape because they are so fed up with how they look and feel, as so the stories usually go. So I give them every tool possible to succeed and what happens? They waste time. WHY WHY WHY do people do this?

I just offered this same person a free boot camp that I often have w/ some people I know, to get this person on track and they tell me they are not interested. They went on vacation and gained 4lbs back and haven't been doing anything for 2-3 weeks. I tell them I expect them to be at training and again they tell me, they are not feeling it and won't attend. WTF is going through there mind? I simply cannot fathom it

In addition to that, another person felt the need to call me rude and not motivating, after I customized a diet plan for them, sent several emails without a response, only to tell them the truth, that if they want to achieve, they need to be consistent and be held accountable for. They have made it to training once in 2 1/2 weeks and also went on vacation and binged the whole time. When is it time to realize being 285lbs is not healthy??? I just do not get it. I told them via email that they need to be consistent and get in the gym, and send me their food journals or bring them in to the gym. I sent 3 and they ignord everyone, only in the end to respond with 'You're being rude to me and I do not appreciate how you are talking down to me" when I basically told them they are not going to see results unless they change their behaviors and stop making excuses.
I

I swear people are babies and spoiled and always going to be lazy and extremely overweight. I shake at my head them... esp when they are adults in their 30s, 40s..etc and cannot follow directions when it comes to their health, yet during the initial meeting all they wanted was to get fit and feel better.


You? Who else deals with this sh*t on a regular basis?

F***!!!!!!!!

[askthetrainer]

[Meathead.]

GFY

I love what I do, and am very successful - aside from 2 people I speak of

God forbid I complain about lazy people who choose not to change their lifestyles and continue to be unhealthy, even when everything is given to them.

[askthetrainer]

GFY

I love what I do, and am very successful - aside from 2 people I speak of

God forbid I complain about lazy people who choose not to change their lifestyles and continue to be unhealthy, even when everything is given to them.

Have you ever dumped clients before? Maybe hire an "understudy" of some sorts and hand over the problem clients...

It's not worth your time and aggravation to try to fix something which doesn't want to be fixed...

[Meathead.]

Have you ever dumped clients before? Maybe hire an "understudy" of some sorts and hand over the problem clients...

It's not worth your time and aggravation to try to fix something which doesn't want to be fixed...

No, never. I never give up on anyone. I am sure we will sit down and have a good conversion regarding the issues, as I am insulted by such comments and lack of enthusiasm. I just do not... do not.. understand the human mind sometimes lol

[askthetrainer]

No, never. I never give up on anyone. I am sure we will sit down and have a good conversion regarding the issues, as I am insulted by such comments and lack of enthusiasm. I just do not... do not.. understand the human mind sometimes lol

Could you describe more about the problem clients?

Age, job, kids, history? It could lead to an explanation...

[Meathead.]

Could you describe more about the problem clients?

Age, job, kids, history? It could lead to an explanation...

They are just being ungrateful and lazy to be honest.

No kids, not married, early 30s - In the process of moving, but that is no excuse in my book, as we all have issues in life and WE still manage to be consistent

It's a case of just not caring enough imo

[askthetrainer]

They are just being ungrateful and lazy to be honest.

No kids, not married, early 30s - In the process of moving, but that is no excuse in my book, as we all have issues in life and WE still manage to be consistent

It's a case of just not caring enough imo

We all know the most difficult part of the job is that which is out of our hands, and that is keeping our client accountable for their actions outside of the sessions...

Something which is kind of cheesy but writing things down is way more powerful than a conversation which could go one ear and out the other.

Why not create a Client Accountability Checklist where you could list a few things they're supposed to be doing and have them rate how well they adhere to it on a DAILY BASIS

Have them bring in the sheet every session and go over it briefly..

With something on paper you could use to your and their advantage...

[Meathead.]

We all know the most difficult part of the job is that which is out of our hands, and that is keeping our client accountable for their actions outside of the sessions...

Something which is kind of cheesy but writing things down is way more powerful than a conversation which could go one ear and out the other.

Why not create a Client Accountability Checklist where you could list a few things they're supposed to be doing and have them rate how well they adhere to it on a DAILY BASIS

Have them bring in the sheet every session and go over it briefly..

With something on paper you could use to your and their advantage...

I have everyone email me or bring their journals in each time I meet w/ them. Already being done

Like I said, it comes down to ppl just not caring - they rather laugh about it when saying, "well we had pizza and some beers and skipped cardio..." all whilst they are very overweight and unhealthy

I take this sort of thing seriously and if I put forth my efforts, i expect the same in return, even though with healthcare, its never a definite

[Environ]

Your first mistake was giving them your services for free. They attach no value to your service as a result. That's why you should have charged them. If they realise that something has cost them money, they will respect it more.

For other people, all the motivation in the world will not help them - they just don't want to change or they can be bothered with the effort it takes. Ultimately, it's going to take a heart attack or the onset of type 2 diabetes before they will cop themselves on.

All you can do is do your best for everybody but particularly those who ARE motivated to work.

[2020Wellness]

[QUOTE=Environ;380132691]Your first mistake was giving them your services for free. They attach no value to your service as a result. That's why you should have charged them. If they realise that something has cost them money, they will respect it more.
QUOTE]

Bingo!

Also, put an expiration date on their sessions, so they can't be showing up every 2 weeks or so on their own time. If there is an ending date that they have to get their sessions done by, they are more likely to be frequent, and if they don't get them in, give them a small break of an extra week or so. After that, the extra sessions are just money in your pocket, which they agreed to in the beginning.

PS, when I have more time, I'll share my story of the ultimate problem client that I actually had kicked out of the gym for life!

[jules_d1]

The reson they are not complying is that there is no value in it for them....its free so theres no real investment/risk in it. People need some "skin in the game to comply"

[TallDH]

Another problem with people is that they expect it to be easy to achieve the results. They expect it to be overnight success.

They want it handed to them on a silver platter, along with an ass-kissing. Maybe a little rimjob thrown in for good measure.

As you stated OP, people are feckin lazy. That is the mindset of the majority of Americans in today's society. They expect everything to be easy in every way. Yes, BBing is quite simple on paper. When you actually start doing it, it's still easy but not physically.

When they do not get what they want or expect, they get "offended" and scoff at the truth of what you're saying. I've seen it countless times when I've tried motivating people in other areas, such as financial independence and other areas.

People are scared of FAILURE.

[KyleAaron]

I've recently been trying to help someone out, show them the ropes, proper nutrition, training...etc all for free. Taking time from my days throughout the week...etc

I've bolded your problem for you, mate.

Sad thing is, people value what they pay for.

I once wrote an article for a website for free, it was downloaded over 2,000 times and got exactly zero comments or emails. I took it down, rewrote it, put it on another website for $5, it got 300 downloads and numerous comments and emails. People don't read free stuff.

One trainer I know commented recently that he used to give out free diets, nobody followed them. He charged $50 for them, people followed them. People don't follow free diets.

In the Fitness Australia Code of Ethics, they have some vague stuff that basically boils down to, "don't screw the crew." You're not meant to develop an intimate relationship with a client. The flipside of that is that you should not train someone you already have an intimate relationship with. They won't listen to you.

People you're close to don't actually want advice or action. They just want to you to listen sympathetically and tell them it's not their fault. This is different to paying clients, only some of whom just want a pat on a head, and most of whom want some changes.

You want them to follow your advice, charge them for it. If you don't feel comfortable charging them for it, then they're too close to you - recommend them another trainer.

[Meathead.]

Well let me reiterate the specifics... so everyone understands,

the free camps was for someone I am bartering service for - they are offering me help because they are experts in their field and in return, they are being trained, so in the sense of free, I meant no $ value, but time for sure. We bartered 8 weeks service each.

The other person who says I am rude for trying to assist in helping them did indeed pay,

Sorry I wasnt clear, I am speaking of 2 different ppl ( i was only trying to be vague on the descriptions of these people just in case they were viewing the site randomly LOL)

[BSCSCS]

As a trainer, you have to be a good leader. A good leader inspires people to work hard for them. Sometimes it takes hard work and leading by example, some times it takes finesse. It seems like you have the hard work and leading by example down...but the finesse...not so much.

You have to understand that 99% of the population are not like us fitness-a-holics. They don't have the burning desire to exercise. You can't force people to train with you. Stop being a PT Nazi.

[Meathead.]

As a trainer, you have to be a good leader. A good leader inspires people to work hard for them. Sometimes it takes hard work and leading by example, some times it takes finesse. It seems like you have the hard work and leading by example down...but the finesse...not so much.

You have to understand that 99% of the population are not like us fitness-a-holics. They don't have the burning desire to exercise. You can't force people to train with you. Stop being a PT Nazi.

All due respect and I do not mean to come off cocky or arrogant but I have all 3, trust me. I am speaking on just 2 ppl ive worked w/ versus the countless dozens of others who have gotten great success. As I said, I live this and do every thing in my power to help people because I care - it isnt just an income for me , in other words, where many other trainers just do it to do it and call themselves pts

I like to get ppl in who are serious about results, get it done and maintain. I know its always a process - but I am getting tired of ppl talking **** and not being honest. PPl who are not truthful and think they are fit, or being healthy or do not need to change their behaviors, when in fact they do. People who talk a lot during a consult on HOW BADLY they need to change and how ****ty they feel and they need help - then when it comes down to it, they do nothing differently.

I do not think sending several emails to ask where the food logs are, is too nazi-ish, especially when they both agreed to do so and then ignored my emails. They are the rude ones, whilst Im trying to do my job and what they hired me for.

Thats all. I live this 24-7, allow everyone to contact me out of the gym scene via email phone text...etc in order to help them the best I can. I put forth more effort than anyone and most of them appreciate it. I have built a very strong biz and have tremendous following. If someone wants to complain about me sending some emails, then clearly do not want to be healthy, plain and simple. They hired a PT to get them results - if they refuse to abide by the guidelines set forth, they are in the wrong, not me.

I will be speaking to them sometime soon I hope to discuss their issues

[rpv900]

I've bolded your problem for you, mate.

In the Fitness Australia Code of Ethics, they have some vague stuff that basically boils down to, "don't screw the crew." You're not meant to develop an intimate relationship with a client. The flipside of that is that you should not train someone you already have an intimate relationship with. They won't listen to you.

People you're close to don't actually want advice or action. They just want to you to listen sympathetically and tell them it's not their fault. This is different to paying clients, only some of whom just want a pat on a head, and most of whom want some changes.

You want them to follow your advice, charge them for it. If you don't feel comfortable charging them for it, then they're too close to you - recommend them another trainer.

I fell you, im trying to become a personal trainer on the side and i have had a few people ask me for help.
*The best advice i have given them is just to eat better or cleaner and to excercise more. I have taken friends on sessions, and have shown them examples on clean eating.

* As for the friend and family it is very true, I pretty much tell my friends like it is that their the way they are beacuse of ...,...,...,etc. but i try to relate and let them know that with hardwork and dedication they can achieve their goal, But that just dosen't work all the time.

* The One point I stress is that its all on them if they dont show up it's their loss. its hard but you also have to see that instead of you reaching your goals they hold you back in a sense.

[Meathead.]

yeah no doubt

[-Ironside-]

Fire them, I've done it before with Clients that give me the run around.
One paid me $600 up front, showed up to about 8 sessions than went on Vacation. Stood me up 3 times in a row, showed up for 1/2 a session than stood me up 3 more times. After that she didn't return calls, so finally about 3 months later she got a hold of me and I told her I wasn't interested in training her anymore. I gave her a good deal so she still had some sessions left over but those got written off when I dropped her. All in the contract.

[king6083]

I'm not a trainer, so I could be wrong about what's going on in this situation, but I'd bet I'm not.

I dated a fat chick once not all that long ago and I learned a TON about the psychological crap overweight people have going on in their head.

The first thing is that at some point they become afraid of doing any sort of new project or task because they think they can't accomplish anything. Which leads them to give up on basically everything before they even try. Keeps them from having to feel like they failed.

Secondly is that they are timid. They're tend to be intimidated by going out in public. The gym is practically akin to walking over a bed of hot coals. That everyone there is in better shape is humiliating to them. You being in good shape - I would guess - is intimidating to them as well.

Thirdly is that they don't respond to motivation like other people do. Probably didn't play sports in school and that makes normal coaching completely alien and rude in their view. Where as you and I will propbably respond positively to someone telling us we need to be more consistent to attain our goals, for them it's just another thing they are going to 'fail' at, therefore it's more for them to never really try in the first place. It's gotta be almost all encouragement with this type of person in my experience. Anything that isn't positive reinforcement risks scaring them into running away.

I'd posit that - from your clients view - someone who intimidates them is rudely attempting to make them go someplace they are afraid of just to get them to try to do something humiliating that they can't accomplish anyway.

As for what to do, I dunno. You got your work cut out for you. I's say the largest part of your job with this client (even moreso than most clients) is going to be motivation. And probably more Oprah-ish than you would like yourself. All positivity and almost no details and discipline until they get into a routine of exercise. Once they do, I'd speculate they'd be a little more confident in themselves and will respond better to the idea of having to pay more attention to their diet, yadda, yadda. Things along the lines of working hard and making the most of everyday etc I assume comes across to them as cheesey and cliche.

And congrats on not giving up on this client yet.

[BSCSCS]

^^^^this!

[king6083]

Oooo... Lookie what I just found. This might a good thing to just have laying around or taped to a wall or something when your problem client does come in. This seems sufficiently Oprah-ish. Has tears and everything.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=118832141



"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Around this day last year i started my journey to lose weight and pack on as much muscle as possible and so far I have gone from 415lbs to now 269lbs . I have never been in shape at all, I have always been that big fat kid in school and at parties always being made fun of always the target of jokes. but im not here to bitch just here to tell some people about my accomplishment. Since around sep 1st last year my main goal was to be able to finally in my life to be able to do a full pull up on my own. I was in the gym today doing calves and forearms when I decided ill give it another try, stepped up to the bar and pulled all the way up to my chin. I am normally not one to get emotional but I could not help myself I started crying, everyone was kinda looking at me but I didn't care finally for the first time in my life I had accomplished something.

So for anyone trying to lose weight and get in shape never ever give up any goal is attainable with enough dedication always believe in yourself and keep trying !
"

[Meathead.]

I agree man, so true.

However the lady Ive worked w/ before - about 2 yrs ago and so when she decides to come back after a long lay off w/ tons of added wt. she knows how I do things and what to expect.

as for the other person, its a man, and is just plain wasting time. He should be getting as much as he can from the bartering service imo and I hate to think someone failed when trying to get in shape - but in the end, yes it is on them. O well

[king6083]

I agree man, so true.

However the lady Ive worked w/ before - about 2 yrs ago and so when she decides to come back after a long lay off w/ tons of added wt. she knows how I do things and what to expect.

as for the other person, its a man, and is just plain wasting time. He should be getting as much as he can from the bartering service imo and I hate to think someone failed when trying to get in shape - but in the end, yes it is on them. O well

2 years can be a looong time in terms of someones mental state.

Also, you're correct - it's on him and he is wasting time, but I'd say it's not just from being lazy, but largely for the reasons I've listed above. In my experience whether the person is male or female doesn't make much difference if they've been overrweight for a long time.

I get along with overweight people now that I've learned to just tone down my personality around them. They seem to have a very unintense personalies.

Like last night, I puked at the gym. Partly I feel like an idiot because I was doing preacher curls at the time for crying out loud and had to go to the bathroom, but partly I'm proud of myself. With gym nuts, that's a proud story to tell, but with someone who is overweight, I would tell that story as an embarrassment to myself because it would be received much better that way.

Again, congrats for not giving up, but some people can't be helped until they're ready to help themselves.

[theapexxxx]

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!

I wanted to die of laughter when he punched the koala.

[jkdman81]

If you are good at something ...
Don't do it for free!!!!!!

[Vipersg123]

Saying folks are lazy and ungrateful isn't going to get you anywhere.

Yeah they are these things, but that is to be expected when ur dealing with folks that haven't done something their entire life (usually) and really have a hell of a time getting into it.

You need to create a sense of accountability on your clients... weekly checklists you go over setting goals and action steps to get those goals. Going over issues and talking with them and asking what they find hard about something and what info they need to help themselves progress through the program. You need to check up on folks, give them a call... you have to be a coach you can't just be a trainer giving all the info away and putting the ball in their court and have at it... they need guidance outside the gym through your influence and the accountability you need to create.

And secondly time is money, if a client has no hope for success and is going to make your services look bad then you need to essentially fire them and move on to someone who is worth your time.

[Meathead.]

Yes this is true also - they chose to ignore my emails and not show up to the training 3 times by canceling so there can be no accountability.

which is when I sent the emails stating those things.
I try to keep in touch with everyone every single day, I put forth more effort than 90% of trainers Ive ever met - these ppl can text me, call me, email me 24-7 as I said, they get it all and then some and still choose to act this way..

hence, the title of thread.

Saying folks are lazy and ungrateful isn't going to get you anywhere.

Yeah they are these things, but that is to be expected when ur dealing with folks that haven't done something their entire life (usually) and really have a hell of a time getting into it.

You need to create a sense of accountability on your clients... weekly checklists you go over setting goals and action steps to get those goals. Going over issues and talking with them and asking what they find hard about something and what info they need to help themselves progress through the program. You need to check up on folks, give them a call... you have to be a coach you can't just be a trainer giving all the info away and putting the ball in their court and have at it... they need guidance outside the gym through your influence and the accountability you need to create.

And secondly time is money, if a client has no hope for success and is going to make your services look bad then you need to essentially fire them and move on to someone who is worth your time.

[-Ironside-]

Do you make your clients pay in advance?