Was making out with a girl one time and our eyes were closed it felt wet and messy but when I opened my eyes I realized I had gone full Master Roshi and had a nosebleed and her face was covered in blood. She was pretty drunk though and didn’t seem too bothered by it.
EDIT: Forgot to add that I hooked up with this girl the same night and she was seriously plastered, she pulled me in to make out again but she tasted heavily of garlic and I silently gagged in the pitch black darkness of her bedroom.
|
-
05-26-2024, 10:34 AM #1
- Join Date: Mar 2013
- Location: Nevada, United States
- Posts: 15,854
- Rep Power: 95535
Your most negative dating/sexual experience
Last edited by CherryPopinski; 05-26-2024 at 10:56 AM.
No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.
-Socrates
-
05-26-2024, 10:36 AM #2
-
05-26-2024, 10:36 AM #3
-
05-26-2024, 10:42 AM #4
I was in prison with this ****g0tt who tried to rob a bank. He basically tried to rape me and had intent to penetrate my angus but I ran the fade on him he failed.
- Jesus Christ crew
- First Black President Donald J Trump Crew
-P Diddy, Vince McMahon, Andrew Tate believe all men crew.
-Trannys and gays are satanic crew
-COVID’s not real crew
-Fitnessbreh crew
-Black but thinks whites are the master race crew
-We da fukin people together in the trap crew
-“I don't have to be what you want me to be” Muhammad Ali
-
-
05-26-2024, 10:50 AM #5
Like 8 years ago it was New Years Eve and I had no plans, so I went to this bar and had a couple beers and started talking to some chicks on Tinder. It turns out one chick was nearby the bar I was at and she asked me to come pick her up. I drove a block and picked her up and took her back to my place. She was kinda fat and not super attractive, but it was NYE and I was drunk and looking for a smash so whatever. I took her back to my place and we were chilling on the couch, and she was clearly pretty wasted as well, then she left for a bit to go to the bathroom. Like 10 minutes later she comes back, and I eventually took her to my room and started fuking her. I started getting some weird smells but was drunk and horny so I kinda just ignored it.
We crashed for like 2 hours, and then I woke up and had kinda noticed that there were some weird stains on my bed(which were obviously poop stains). So I ended up taking her to the shower in my basement and we ended up taking a shower together and made her wash her ass(I think she ended up sucking my dick then as well). I fuked her again, then we passed out for the rest of the night.
Then the next morning I was super hungry and hung over, so I ended up taking her to some diner and we had breakfast together and I took her home.
Ended up going over to her house like a week later, and she lived in some chitty apartment and had a big dog. And she ended up giving me one of the best blowjobs of my life. I wasn't going to seriously date this chick, but I tried to keep her around because she gave such good head. But even eventually stopped answering my texts.
-
05-26-2024, 10:52 AM #6
-
05-26-2024, 10:54 AM #7
A 19 year old latina attempted to jack me off when I was 20 years old. She kissed me then went for my cock, Could not get hard. She couldn't finish me
A few weeks later
Ran into her on the street one time.(during the days I went out a lot) Got her number. Spoke to her, told her I love her. Then she told me she had a bf and I never heard from her againCentrist, Taoist, Buddhist, Minimalist, Stoic
-
05-26-2024, 10:55 AM #8
-
-
05-26-2024, 11:00 AM #9
- Join Date: Apr 2009
- Location: California, United States
- Posts: 29,116
- Rep Power: 225301
- She pooped a lil as we were smashing, didn't see or smell it but she ran to bathroom embarrassed
- Another one had a lil TP on her kitty as I was going down on her (didn't care, she was a good fuk)
- Another one had a smelly snatch..Caught a whiff of it and almost gagged but her puss was so good/tight I almost came too fast
- Met a female online 15+ years ago when I wasn't as experienced, got so nervous couldn't get it up and she kicked me out lol (felt pretty chitty)
The worst thing that a female ever did to me was put me in jail, rob me, get me kicked out of my place, lost allot of money and fuked a guy the same day she put me in jail
Stay safe boyosJournal: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=139898123&page=240
-
05-26-2024, 11:02 AM #10
Was dating a filthy whore (didn’t know it at the time) when I was in 11th grade and she was in 12th.
She already had 5 bodies when we started dating, and she picked up a couple/few more while we were dating.
Ran in to some dude I knew from many years before. Said he was banging her. She told him she dated and broke up with me a year ago, and that I use to beat her. I told him neither was true, I didn’t know her a year ago. He said he was just casual with her for months, and that he’s pretty sure another dude (not me) was also banging her.
We both dumped her that night, I went to her house, gathered all the stuff I gave her over the 10 months we dated. Her dad was trying to do damage control. Saying don’t worry, you two will get back together. I told him no chance in hell. He asked if she cheated. I said yup. He flipped. Started screaming at his wife that her daughter was a whore. Apologized to me. Said to stop by any time. I told him that wasn’t happening either. But if I saw him in public with out her I’d stop to chat.
When she got home from work that night he beat her ass and broke her wrist.
-
05-26-2024, 11:04 AM #11
-
05-26-2024, 04:49 PM #12
-
-
05-26-2024, 04:57 PM #13
-
05-26-2024, 05:00 PM #14
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Arizona, United States
- Age: 37
- Posts: 8,070
- Rep Power: 54598
I always carry a canteen for liquor and one time I was in Texas and I had this girl pick me up. I showed her the canteen at the bar we were at, you know, to save money, she ended up coming up with some excuse about a girlfriend and dropped me back off at the hotel I was staying at. I will say this. This was one bad Texas tinder experience, I ended up hooking up with +3 women that were really hot despite of that during my trip to Texas as a door to door security sales men.
You are your thoughts. Life is perception, thoughts are perception, perception is reality ergo thoughts are reality, I think therefore I am.
08/08/2011. the day the aesthetics died. never forget.
(づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ・。*。✧・゜゜・。 ✧。*・゜
░▒▓█ Read my paper █▓▒░
https://www.reddit.com/r/SchoolOfShadows/comments/1awjjjb/paper_on_life_life_is_addition_theory_v15/
-
05-26-2024, 05:01 PM #15
-
05-26-2024, 05:03 PM #16
When I drove like an hour to meetup with a 10/10 19 yr old girl (srs). I actually got her number in person, not online dating so she knew me before.
Picked her up, took her to see christmas lights and allat.
Dropped her off, said she had fun and NEVER messaged me again.
Not a thank you message, thank you for picking me up etc. nothing.
That messed with my head for a while. I don't care if you don't like me after the date, but I did all that just to not get one message ever again or a thanks.
It's just common courtesy.Balanced Test Crew
-
-
05-26-2024, 05:03 PM #17
-
05-26-2024, 05:05 PM #18
-
05-26-2024, 05:18 PM #19
-
05-26-2024, 05:21 PM #20
-
-
05-26-2024, 05:23 PM #21
- Join Date: Feb 2013
- Location: East Coast, Australia
- Posts: 21,827
- Rep Power: 429460
Fumbled an easy layup with a gym milf who was absolutely gagging for it
Sat there like an autist and drank lemonade until she got up and left
Omg that was you? You’re not going to believe this but that guy you’re referring to posts here as well
His user name is Fitnessguysdickinmyass24/7 or somethingBy reading this post you acknowledge r32gojirra is an online persona and all posts by r32gojirra are satirical in nature. Comments by r32gojirra shall not reflect on the integrity and morals of the author portraying the online character nor any professional or contractual affiliates of the author.
AP4C
HTC
Repped by kimm into 200kcrew crew
-
05-26-2024, 05:32 PM #22
Worst for me: Was banging an 8/10 for a good half hour, having a great time, then bent her over and got straight tiger uppercutted with the worst smell I've ever smelled.
Smelled like a dead rat in a sewer. I didn't realize it was her at first because it didn't smell normal, and I yelled "what the fuk is that smell".
She tried to pull away from me, but I had her gripped tight so she just dragged me around the bed like I was riding a jet ski. We ended up talking about it and it turns out she had an IUD that caused it.
Worst for her: Banged a sloot with giant teds and an absolutely tight vag. Almost couldn't get it in. The second it was in, I lasted about 10 seconds. Also didn't pull out in time. Her snatch was like a vacuum. She was appropriately furious.Misc Entrepreneur Crew
-
05-26-2024, 05:32 PM #23
Lived in this small town for a few years when I was in my early to mid 20s. Was an awesome company that I loved but I knew I would move back home. I am about 24, girl was 21, always told her I didn't want to date cause I was gonna move home but she would put it on me. All her friends were married cause that is how small towns work, married by 19. I had an engineering degree and a good job so I was top of the food chain there.
We were banging she was on top and told her I was about to go and she grabbed my butt and clamped down so I busted all up in. She told me next morning she had stopped taking her birth control and did it on purpose to lock me down. That was an awkward and nervous few weeks waiting for her next period which thankfully came. We met up at the local bar and I immediately asked her if she had had her period and she was like I did. I smiled or pumped my fist I guess and she was like fuk you acehole. That was end of that. Pretty sure she married a country ass MF. She was hot AF tho.Stern Crew
-
05-26-2024, 05:43 PM #24
-
-
05-26-2024, 06:01 PM #25
- Ass smelt sweaty so I dropped her off at home. In hindsight, I feel like an *******.
- Smashed her in the back of my car outside of a seedy hotel only for her to mention her boyfriend afterwards. I love me some hood pussy doe
- Went to smash then realized I got catfished. Cooter smelled and I wasn't that desperate. I left and didn't coom.
- Fumbled my coworker who sat next to me in 2022. She was a little older but made a VERY CLEAR pass at me, and I just pretended not to notice because I was going to quit anyway. She still asks my sister about me. Wish her the best, she was sweet and liked me for me.
- Fumbled a tall athletic Ebony while in an HEB after work. I had a blue button down with sleeves up to forearms, fitted jeans, and Chelsea boots. She literally hovered in my area in put herself into my orbit 4 times. The last time she made it obvious but I let self doubt take over and I walked past her. She was bad and I let her go because I was a deer in headlights lol. The regret from that will NEVER leave me.
- Last two dates I went on. The ladies were very much fukable and attractive but I just didn't like them as people. Wasn't worth the work.Last edited by Voidgaze; 05-26-2024 at 06:42 PM.
Melvin in Tha Streets. Treycel in Tha Sheets.
-
05-26-2024, 06:09 PM #26
Worst involved a chubby sloot from Craigslist whose toddler was crawling around and ended up grabbing my ankle and using it to stand up. The sloot had her eyes locked on me saying “it’s ok” over and over again.
Runner up met another sloot for a bj and she ended up throwing up on my d (she’d been drinking) and immediately sucked it up. Ended up going into her spot and she started deep throating me and I came down her throat and she just kept on sucking. She didn’t realize I’d shot it lmao
My worst showing was with this absolute smoke show 18 yo 9/10 HBB (her friend told me not to even try as she’d turned down hotter guys than me, meanwhile at that point we’d already hung out once and made out.) Took her bowling and had a bet about loser gives the winner a massage. Pretty clear where it’s headed of course and I’m talking my usual “after me no one compares” chit (which I always backed up) but of course not this fukkin time. She was tight af so I couldn’t last and I wasn’t my usual hard as steel either. All I can figure is I got in my head because she was someone I’d actually take srs vs just another sloot.
The best part there though was as we walked out my buddies and the chick I asked about her were there and heard us going at it. As we walked out my roommate yells “you the man!” Chit was lulzy as hell.
Driving her back to her spot was a bit awkward lmao.
See sigSloots Gon Sloot.
-
05-26-2024, 06:10 PM #27
I matched with this really cute 19-year-old tranny on Tinder (no homo) and she said she was hung but when we actually met she was barely like 6.5 inches.
--Flat Earth Crew--
Wish I was black crew
"People are strange: They are constantly angered by trivial things, but on a major matter like totally wasting their lives, they hardly seem to notice."
—Charles Bukowski
-
05-26-2024, 06:16 PM #28
Matched with a chick on tinder
Talked for a while
Decided to meet up at a bar
She got completely wasted, and started crying on my shoulder that she wanted to leave
Decided to take an uber back to my place
She sucks me off, and I cant cum(dat dere whiskey dink)
She starts questioning herself then yells at me that I can't get hard because I think shes ugly
Im sitting there like wtf is happening? Is this real life?
We smash anyway, and then she starts throwing up nonstop all over my fukking carpet
She blames me for getting her hammered even tho she was drunk when I showed up at the bar to meet her.
Never again...In b4 I get #Metoo'd in 2035.Arsenal FC
Winnipeg Jets
Chicago Blackhawks
****Germany Crew****
Send in the Clowns
-
-
05-26-2024, 06:19 PM #29
-
05-26-2024, 06:21 PM #30
- One girl I had already met before invited me over but her mom was sitting a few feet from us behind curtains inside kitchen. She asked which movie I wanted to watch and she had some ****ty burned dvds and even pulled up free movies on youtube.
(I just wanted to have sex, and even that wouldnt really be possible cuz her mom was right there) I also noticed something near her lip area that made me think it was a cold sore.. I immediately paniced and wanted nothing to do with her or the situation and said "hey, is it alright if I go to the store and get some snacks for us for our movie?" and I sped out and hopped into an uber down the street. She later texted me "are you coming back" and that it was a pimple. I apologized.
- Another girl I met in her downtown Toronto condo by the cn tower, she was very unstable and it was obvious from the start. Her dog would keep snapping at her and she would slap it in the head pretty hard. I also noticed something near her lips and she kept the lights dim as if she wanted to hide it or something. So I never kissed her that night. I got home and texted her and she said she wanted to kiss me so bad and that "it is just a scar lmao"
I did end up going back and we made out and she basically made me finger her while screaming loudly which freaked me out. Her mental problems were really showing and eventually I said I should head out now cuz it was getting late. She was like "whatever, **** you" and then started crying and curling up in a ball on the couch. I stayed a few more mins to calm her down cuz you never know what the hell could happen. Could make some **** up about me or something. Never saw her again but she did text me a few weeks after saying she was getting evicted because of her "dog" and if I wanted to help her move or something. I just stopped replying.
- On a dryspell and finally got some responses from some older asian girl saying that she was free to come over. She was older but I figured.. well shes asian and they usually have it together.
She came over and lets just say she was NOT well put together. I even questioned if it was a trap after a bit and then basically pretended to sleep and she got the hint and left (srs).
- Not that weird but went to some girls place, on the couch talking for a while and whenever I would touch her, one of her (id say like 4-5 little dogs) would start growling and bark at me.
eventually we got to the point where we couldnt resist each other physically and made out on the couch before she invited me to her room. She tried to close the door and keep the dogs out but while she was mid suk , the dogs kicked the door in. She just let them in and they were panting by the bed while she was doing her thing. After, she told me her whole life story while she had her head on my chest. I'm thinking poor girl prolly thinks were gonna be in a relationship.
- dating wise, the first ever tinder date I went on. She was exactly what I wanted physically and everything worked out perfectly logistically for a relationship (our proximity, same music taste, same gym lifestyles) but ended up being like the biggest wake up call with girls. She did a big 360 after 2 dates and basically treated me like I was a creep. I was depressed and even stopped going to gym for a few months after.
- A lot of other awkward stuff/dates/hookups that are not really worth listing cuz I feel it is all a normal part of the process of meeting someone.Last edited by Nicklol; 05-26-2024 at 06:29 PM.
Doordasher crew (SRS)
Bidet Crew
Nissan Versa 2023 crew
Bald crew
Bookmarks