The squat has broken me

[erigni]

I've been asking questions about how to get over my squat plateau, but they have all missed the truth of my situation: the squat has broken me psychologically. Two years ago I injured my back squatting with suboptimal form and no belt. I reached 355 squatting this way before the pain got unbearable. Sometimes I could barely walk, and I had a near-constant pain shooting down my leg. I thought that it might have been a herniated disc, but I now believe it was a case of tendinitis in one of the tendons in my erector spinae. I took a couple of months off to let my lower back heal, focusing on low weight and high reps. I also did a lot of spinal decompression, which I believe made the difference. By mid-2023, my back was basically fully healed, although the pain did still flare up at times. At this point I have no lower back pain at all. The pain does not flare up, except for on very rare occasions.

I tried to get back into squatting heavy in the spring of 2023, but could never break past 355. I was reasonably afraid of hurting myself. At some point I struggled to hit even that weight, and decided to focus on higher reps and lower weight to try to break the plateau. But in the summer a personal situation turned my focus away from exercise. I hardly ever went past 295. Every time I squatted, however, I was plagued by the fear that the pain would return or I would injure myself. I gave up on so many workouts because of this fear, although I didn't exactly realize what it was. I continued to slowly increase my reps, and in early 2024 I squatted 295 x 9 as part of a program to break past my plateau. I am still in this program, and am now trying to get to 315 by 7. In 2022 I squatted 315 x 6 without a belt with absolutely no struggle.

But I continue to be paralyzed by the fear of hurting myself, and even breaking my back. Two weeks ago I hit 315 by 5, attempting to get to 7, and when I started to grind out the weight as is perfectly normal, I got scared and stopped. Two weeks before I had managed to do 6 reps, although I don't think I squatted to depth, once again because of fear. Today I did three reps at 315, trying to get to 7 again. The weight was very easy to move, but on the third rep I had to grind it out a little at the top and got scared of hurting myself again and stopped. I truly believe my problem is psychological at this point. Please tell me something that can help me break past this barrier. It has been paralyzing me for over a year now.

Thank you.

[erigni]

I also think part of the issue is how crowded my new gym is. I started going to this gym in early 2023, and there are so many people there. I had my best workouts in the basement of a dying gym, where there was often only one or two people downstairs. There I hit almost all of my personal records.

[air2fakie]

Dude take a step back. Even if your issues are psychological, there's more to life than the squat or making progress in it. You could never do a barbell squat again, and you could still have a perfectly strong, developed physique nonetheless.

If you can't go heavier due to fear and stay at 315 for 5-6 reps, that's fine. You may also just want to take it out of the rotation completely for a while... and do some heavy goblet squats, heavy trap bar DLs, heavy leg press, etc. Come back to it later.

You're not broken man, you sound like a strong, hardworking dude in the gym. Just squat when you feel like it or not at all, but don't turn it into some obsession.

[erigni]

Dude take a step back. Even if your issues are psychological, there's more to life than the squat or making progress in it. You could never do a barbell squat again, and you could still have a perfectly strong, developed physique nonetheless.

If you can't go heavier due to fear and stay at 315 for 5-6 reps, that's fine. You may also just want to take it out of the rotation completely for a while... and do some heavy goblet squats, heavy trap bar DLs, heavy leg press, etc. Come back to it later.

You're not broken man, you sound like a strong, hardworking dude in the gym. Just squat when you feel like it or not at all, but don't turn it into some obsession.

Thank you for your kind words. My wish was to hit 405, but maybe I should just stay at 315 for now, or get rid of it completely like you said. Do you think completely avoiding the squat will get rid of the psychological barrier? It seems like there is the possibility of that exacerbating it once I get back to the squat. Nevertheless, taking a complete break for now sounds inviting.

[SuicideGripMe]

Are you a competing powerlifter? If not... who cares? It's just a lift... I used to LOVE free squats. Now... I almost entirely do box squats. Other times, I do only kettlebells. Just find what makes you happy and healthy unless it's for a competition.

[CW47]

Yeah, I agree it doesn't need to be a big deal. There are certain lifts I avoid because they've caused recurring pain in the past and I have no regrets.

You really have 3 options.
- Continue doing what you've been doing. You'll undoubtedly be plateaued forever it you do this, because it's self imposed. But you're also already stronger than average, and will continue to be.
- Avoid squatting altogether and progress on other lifts.
- Disregard your fear and be okay with 'breaking your back' in exchange for the possibility of getting your squat stronger.

I think a lot of people might suggest to just suck it up and push through when squatting gets hard. But honestly there's no need to do that unless you just decide you want to for personal reasons. There's no real reward for doing this, and there doesn't need to be any shame in going another route.

What are your goals in lifting? Are any of them tied specifically to squatting more weight than you do right now?


Edit: I see you mentioned wanting to get to a 405 bench. Any particular reason? Or is it just because some people consider it a "strength standard"?

[radrd]

I'd do pendulum squats, hack squats, and/or belt squats instead depending on what equipment you have available. Some kind of squat is important, but you can skip barbell squatting entirely and be strong AF with a great physique.

[air2fakie]

Thank you for your kind words. My wish was to hit 405, but maybe I should just stay at 315 for now, or get rid of it completely like you said. Do you think completely avoiding the squat will get rid of the psychological barrier? It seems like there is the possibility of that exacerbating it once I get back to the squat. Nevertheless, taking a complete break for now sounds inviting.

Who knows... but when something becomes a grind and is wearing you down mentally, take a break. You might even fall in love with trap bar DLs or repping out goblet squats with the heaviest db in your gym.

The squat rack will be waiting for you whenever you're ready to try again, if you decide you want to.

[weiss1967]

leg press is identical to squats, and it won’t break your back. Besides, the key to progressing in any exercise is employing many other exercises. If you want to add a plate to BP then you should do cable flys, not beating against the wall of plateau by doing just a bench press. Same here. Also, add volume, go higher reps and lower the weight. Things like that. Keeping trying same thing you will end up with injuries and regress. I think you already know that.

[erigni]

Are you a competing powerlifter? If not... who cares? It's just a lift... I used to LOVE free squats. Now... I almost entirely do box squats. Other times, I do only kettlebells. Just find what makes you happy and healthy unless it's for a competition.

But squats do make me happy.

[erigni]

I'd do pendulum squats, hack squats, and/or belt squats instead depending on what equipment you have available. Some kind of squat is important, but you can skip barbell squatting entirely and be strong AF with a great physique.

But if I do this, when do I go back to back squats?

[erigni]

Yeah, I agree it doesn't need to be a big deal. There are certain lifts I avoid because they've caused recurring pain in the past and I have no regrets.

You really have 3 options.
- Continue doing what you've been doing. You'll undoubtedly be plateaued forever it you do this, because it's self imposed. But you're also already stronger than average, and will continue to be.
- Avoid squatting altogether and progress on other lifts.
- Disregard your fear and be okay with 'breaking your back' in exchange for the possibility of getting your squat stronger.

I think a lot of people might suggest to just suck it up and push through when squatting gets hard. But honestly there's no need to do that unless you just decide you want to for personal reasons. There's no real reward for doing this, and there doesn't need to be any shame in going another route.

What are your goals in lifting? Are any of them tied specifically to squatting more weight than you do right now?


Edit: I see you mentioned wanting to get to a 405 bench. Any particular reason? Or is it just because some people consider it a "strength standard"?

I meant a 405 squat. A 405 squat is one of my main weightlifting goals. I suppose there wasn't a reason behind it other than that I thought it was achievable, but would put me in the top 1% of lifters.

[colontos]

I hurt my back squatting a couple times. After the second time, and then another close call, I quit squatting. I don't think it's a good fit for my body type, and it's not crucial for my goals. I do other exercises like leg press, leg extensions, lunges, hack squat, etc. There are others as well.

You do not have to squat to be strong or to look good. I know what Rippetoe says. But it isn't.