Trying not to make this too long of a read,
In short, I'm male, 45 yrs old, 6'3 and 317.4lb as of this morning. My frustration is, ugh, I've been up and down with my bodyweight for decades. I was 23 yrs old, 342.6lbs. I've been down to 200.2lbs in my lifetime and had abs coming in, but years and years go by and I'm everywhere in between. I just cannot figure out moderation, and I can't be the only one. I've done a lot of diets. Zig zag, atkins, low carb high fat, high protein low carb moderate fat, keto, and lately I'm doing rolling 72hr fasts on keto, which I actually do think nets me the fastest results while keeping everything on an even keel once I'm into it.
But today I am just sitting here frustrated because, no matter what I do, no matter how many times I get myself down into a normal bodyfat range, I ultimately start slipping and getting into junk, and over time just gaining it back. My body craves 5000 calories a day. I can put it away easily. It's a constant focus and struggle.
Is there really a 'forever' diet for people like me? I know I'm not the only one that struggles 100% of the time. And how the hell do you figure out 'moderation'?
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Thread: Just At My Wits End
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05-09-2024, 04:00 PM #1
Just At My Wits End
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05-09-2024, 07:08 PM #2
- Join Date: Aug 2013
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I see a bunch of fad diets listed, and all of them result in some type of excessive restriction, which most people would have trouble sticking to. And here you are again on another fad diet (looking for "fast results"), so its no wonder that you haven't had any success.
Have you ever tried just a standard calorie deficit without overly restricting any one macronutrient or doing time restricted eating?
Its also very possible your issues are psychologically induced. Have you ever talked to anyone about food addictions/disordered eating?All it takes is consistency, effort, proper nutrition, good programming, and TIME.
Don't be upset with the results you didn't get from the work you did not do.
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05-09-2024, 09:08 PM #3
- Join Date: Jul 2006
- Location: Bangkok, Thailand
- Age: 35
- Posts: 7,633
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OP, it sounds like you are just lacking the "will" to dedicate yourself. Eating for you has become an addiction (my body craves nicotine, my body craves alcohol, my body craves 5000 calories a day...) No, it does not. Your poor lifestyle choices have led you to this point. Sad, but true.
You need discipline. You said it yourself, you get back into junk... So, stop. Find a diet model that works for you but also accept that you won't have everything you want. You need to make sacrifices. If I could, I would be doing copious amounts of brocaine and drinking jack for breakfast... but I don't. But damn, do I want to!
I wish you the best of luck, but you're making excuses like an addict who relapses. Seriously, find a diet model that works. For some, just get a delivery meal plan where you don't do any food shopping, no going out to eat, just structured.https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180003183&p=1635918623#post1635918623
New Shanghai Log!
"225, 315, 405 whatever. Yeah these benchmark digits come to mean a lot to us, the few warriors in this arena. They are, however, just numbers. I'm guilty of that sh*t too, waiting for somebody to powder my nuts cuz I did 20 reps of whatever the **** on the bench. Big f*king deal. It is all relative." G Diesel
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05-10-2024, 11:25 AM #4
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05-11-2024, 07:15 AM #5
Hi, yes, I've done the long, sustained dieting. Every calorie restricted diet sucks man. We all know dieting sucks. Some suck less than others. But to think most people will stick to some plan that takes 2 years of consistency to accomplish a goal is also not that realistic. Realistically, how many people ever do?
It's just frustrating that fatties can never just worry free enjoy food. Always have to be mindful. Not like skinny bastards that think they eat piles of food and then you follow them around and they're stuffed at 2k calories for the day lol.
I'm at the point now where I'd rather crash diet and get results very fast, and THEN try to figure it out. But I've been in shape a few times and always backslid eventually. Moderation seems impossible for me.
I'm not making any excuses. I'm still trying hard. I've been at it for 2.5 decades. Ups and downs all along. Slow weight loss at 1-2lbs a week. Fast weight loss at 3-5lbs a week (fasting). It all works, it all just sucks. The body doesn't want to restrict anything.
I knew this would be the response honestly. It sounds great. "Just find some diet you can stick with". What would that be? Honestly....
Put yourself in the position of a real fatty. Someone that's ate like **** all their lives, significantly overweight. Their body craves 5000 calories a day. It doesn't crave 2000 and they just overeat for no reason. Urges are a thing.
Where I'm going with this is, and I'm trying to have an honest discussion about it, is it really a 'joyful' occasion to do a slow ass fat loss period for 1-2 years? Is that a realistic thing for most fat people? I'm talking about people with 80+lbs to drop. This is not the same thing as someone that got 20lbs overweight and all they need to do is just stop drinking beers on the weekend. This is something different.
I'm asking honestly. I've never been able to figure it out. And you know, maybe there's really no answer. Maybe there is only "do whatever diet you can do, if you do extreme diets, do it until you can't, then the off ramp needs to be some kind of slower, moderate diet". Or, tough it out on whatever restricted diet until you are 'normal' weight and then learn moderation. I guess I have a couple points, in that, how in the **** do you take someone that was significantly overweight, and learn moderation?
I've never been able to sustain. I think it is multiple ball games. 1. losing a ton of body fat is a game. 2. Learning to sustain is a ball game. 3. Bulking/growth is a ball game.
Just gets to me sometimes. It's always a struggle. 100% of the time. The better the result you want, the more you have to suffer.
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05-11-2024, 07:19 AM #6
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05-11-2024, 02:15 PM #7
You don't want to eat a sustainable smaller daily amount of food than you currently eat because something that takes 2 years to accomplish isn't "realistic".
You'd rather do a fad diet like you've done for decades where you lose the weight, and then gain it back, and yoyo up and down. Rinse and repeat.
If something you've done you're entire life isn't working, don't keep doing the same thing.
People who are in shape are also mindful of what they eat, they don't all get full at 2,000 cals/day, a lot of us make time to be very physically active in addition to our busy lives, and many of us enjoy food & don't specifically "restrict" our calories.
When you take some level of accountability for your state you may begin to get permanent results. Don't blame everyone and everything else, and assume other people's bodies work differently than yours. Or get annoyed when people tell you how to lose weight and keep it off, when you literally asked how to do it.
Then again, this is why there's Ozempic. Maybe talk to your doctor about that.
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05-12-2024, 11:24 PM #8
- Join Date: Aug 2013
- Location: Stanwood, Washington, United States
- Posts: 5,468
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OP, the things you choose to eat are extremely important here. Saying "oh my body craves 5000 calories a day", isn't really the whole story. The only way most people can get in that many calories is typically by eating non-nutrient dense, unsatiating, highly processed foods. I guarantee that if you're trying to eat 5000 calories of chicken breast and vegetables you would probably get sick before you ever made it close to 5000. I can put away 5000 calories of crap easily, but if ask me to down 5000 calories of single ingredient whole foods now we're talking a whole new ballgame.
The second part of the equation is your activity level. People aren't overweight because they eat a lot, they're overweight because they eat too many calories for their given level of activity.
Seems like you're just looking for excuses to keep doing what has failed you over and over again. When in reality, the people that usually have the most success are the ones that do it the long, boring, slow way.
Attached photo is my client Jeremy. Also a "lifelong fatty" and over 300 lbs when he started with me. In 1 year he was down to 200, now he's been sustaining at about 185 for the last 2 years. How did he do it? A standard calorie restrictive diet, with no crazy food/macro restrictions. If he wants to have a drink, or a dessert, he does it. Only now he does it only once in a while, while getting 80-90% of his calories from nutrient dense whole foods and remaining active (averaging 10K steps per day + swimming for 45 minutes 3-4 times a week).
Those willing to play the long game will usually come out on top.Last edited by xsquid99; 05-13-2024 at 09:42 PM.
All it takes is consistency, effort, proper nutrition, good programming, and TIME.
Don't be upset with the results you didn't get from the work you did not do.
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05-13-2024, 10:53 PM #9
- Join Date: Jul 2006
- Location: Bangkok, Thailand
- Age: 35
- Posts: 7,633
- Rep Power: 13967
No offense OP but you want to complain and make excuses for yourself. You made yourself overweight... and yeah, now it'll be a struggle to come to terms with what needs to be done to lose that weight. And you comparing yourself to others who have it easier is just pathetic... Envy in this is just... weak. I've seen guys lose limbs and overcome real hardships who make less excuses than you do. You want a pity party because you ate too many fast food sandwiches as a younger person?
If you want an actionable plan, we're here. If you want a fat people support group, go to that site. Sorry mate, but I don't care about people who don't care about themselves enough to make a change.https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180003183&p=1635918623#post1635918623
New Shanghai Log!
"225, 315, 405 whatever. Yeah these benchmark digits come to mean a lot to us, the few warriors in this arena. They are, however, just numbers. I'm guilty of that sh*t too, waiting for somebody to powder my nuts cuz I did 20 reps of whatever the **** on the bench. Big f*king deal. It is all relative." G Diesel
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05-15-2024, 10:46 AM #10
It's a tough ride, but you're not alone in this struggle. Finding that "forever" diet can be tricky, but maybe it’s more about sustainable habits than a strict diet. Focus on making small, lasting changes and don't beat yourself up over slip-ups. Moderation is about balance, so maybe try incorporating treats in a controlled way instead of cutting them out entirely.
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