greeting BBforum,
I dont think my name is really important but the reason im posting here is because im at the end of my road in life.. i been homeless for 10 years and living in my car for the last 3. When I first became homeless I was probably around 250lbs, and I've managed to just in the last year blow up physically in weight. I've been eating nothing but fast food cause its about 5 or 6 a meal.. I been hooked on sugar drinks since I was a kid and no matter what I do.. I cant seem to commit to losing the weight.
See, when I was a kid I grew up in a house where I didnt mean **** to anyone. My mom was hooked on the internet chatting and I was just ignored.. I spent all my time on the streets and since I was a kid, I didnt have access to home healthy cooked meals.. so being from NJ I would only eat chinese takeout, honey buns, butter fingers, soda, butter rolls, etc etc.. fast forward to today.. Ive kind of been stuck in that loop.. only difference is chinese food in Miami sucks and its not like NJ takeout..
Being homeless Im faced with challenges about what I can eat that is healthy for a cheap price.. while at the same time as much as I go to a gym. I go in excited, and then feel like a moron cause I get "stuck" on what I should work out.. I dont seem to like being at a gym simply because of the fact that I feel like the odd man there..but idk... I just cant figure it out for myself. I could watch weeks worth of transformation videos and feel like I'm ready to finally take the leap..and then boom after 4 days its like i go blank in my head and get stuck in a mental zone where i just sit on wifi and scroll tiktok videos and it eats my time up.
I've always had an affinity for cycling but my bike was robbed from my car a while back and that ruined me.. then my grandma passed away and from there I gained even more weight dealing with that mentally. I dont have any friends or anything where I can go with them to the gym or etc.. I feel extremely stuck and dont know what to do.
I've always had a genuine interested in power lifting and pushing/pulling heavy objects cause being a huge kid growng up.. I just felt that strength inside me to do such things.. for example when I was in high school, our school bus broke down and I told the driver to put it in neutral and Id push it.. i pushed it softly for it to rock back n forth to generate momentum and i pushed it for 2 blocks but that was it.. I was skinnier but still a big guy.
So I guess, I finally have come on here to a forum seeking help. Im legit desperate at this point to improve and look like what I deserve to deep down inside..but no matter what I just fail on myself...
-M
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