Explain these mixed signals to me

[stev0n]

I'm used to woman being very forward with me, so i dont know how to read this.

She's my coworker (i know, i know), 36, intelligent, grounded, former d1 soccer player. we're good friends, talk all day at work & text all the time for months.

invite her to a cinco de mayo party at my friends house probably 10 other people, all couples in their 40s, we're in our 30s.
throughout the night when i'm talking to people she would walk up & knee me in my quad or shoulder check me to get my attention probably 15 times or more. kept pinching my nipples because they were hard. made me slow dance with her. etc. we stayed the night. she slept in a twin bed, i slept in the floor beside her.

she took me home the next morning. texted me all day until my friends wife told me to invite her back over to watch ufc, so i did. she left me on read, not a yes or no, didnt even continue the conversation we were already having. she never texted again the whole weekend. so go into work today, we didnt speak a word to each other. i caught her looking at me several times out of my peripheral, but never made eye contact. and when i say we talk all day every day for months, this is the first time we've gone even a day without talking this year.


i should also add, i haven't even tried to go on a date in over a year.. i just have a regular rotation of a few girls. But i actually dig this girl. But really needed her to make the move so it doesn't make my workplace awkward.

[AWillis]

[xbluexhawkx]

attempting to understand any female logic will drive you insane

the hardest Buddhist monk would drive themselves insane trying to understand women

if you really care, ask her what's up

[stev0n]

attempting to understand any female logic will drive you insane

the hardest Buddhist monk would drive themselves insane trying to understand women

if you really care, ask her what's up

honestly, we work literally 5 feet apart. i have a reputation there as a player or hoe. she told me the other night that she didnt like me for years because of that until we became friends. so i'm legit worried about being the one that makes that move and says something & risk it turning out that i'm retarded & it makes things ****ty at work.

[hendrixfreak70]

Ever flashed your pecker at someone and then called them a gay for looking? Mixed signals.

[stev0n]

Ever flashed your pecker at someone and then called them a gay for looking? Mixed signals.

well yeah! who hasn't done "the goat"?

[HangingChad]

You ****ed up Steve. She didn't send any mixed signals, she gave you chance after chance. And you...slept on the floor and invited her to watch UFC with friends? Lol. No wonder she left you on read.

You didn't want work to get awkward by making a move? Well, now it's awkward AND you didn't even get to smash. You obviously caught feels, no shame in that. Nut up and be assertive. Or don't and just move on. But if you keep this bull**** going on for month after month like it has been, wondering what if...that's worse than either of the first two options.

[skinnyfat88]

With that amount of rapport as friends I think it's fair to just ask her what's up.

[Alphametric]

I think you friend zoned yourself. But she may have felt rejected, so you might still have a chance.

1. You should take her out (1 on 1)
2. Then escalate flirting while with her. Like at a bar.
3. If she's flirting back then proceed to ask her if she wants to have dinner at your place.
4. Continue flirting, then kiss her after dinner. Maybe make some drinks and bring her to your couch first.
5. Escalate making out with her on your couch to sex on your bed.

If you follow this outline, I can predict a 50-70% chance of success.

If you continue to not initiate, then you can kiss any chance of getting this girl goodbye.

[stev0n]

You ****ed up Steve. She didn't send any mixed signals, she gave you chance after chance. And you...slept on the floor and invited her to watch UFC with friends? Lol. No wonder she left you on read.

You didn't want work to get awkward by making a move? Well, now it's awkward AND you didn't even get to smash. You obviously caught feels, no shame in that. Nut up and be assertive. Or don't and just move on. But if you keep this bull**** going on for month after month like it has been, wondering what if...that's worse than either of the first two options.

With that amount of rapport as friends I think it's fair to just ask her what's up.

I think you friend zoned yourself. But she may have felt rejected, so you might still have a chance.

1. You should take her out (1 on 1)
2. Then escalate flirting while with her. Like at a bar.
3. If she's flirting back then proceed to ask her if she wants to have dinner at your place.
4. Continue flirting, then kiss her after dinner. Maybe make some drinks and bring her to your couch first.
5. Escalate making out with her on your couch to sex on your bed.

If you follow this outline, I can predict a 50-70% chance of success.

If you continue to not initiate, then you can kiss any chance of getting this girl goodbye.

Thanks bros.

To better articulate, why I'm socially retarded when it comes to this, I've talked in length on here about my last long term relationship with someone who was terminally ill, how that affected me, & why I have chosen to not even go on a date ever since. I just simply haven't tried to make a move on a woman in a very long time, usually they hit on me & i immediately turn them down. This is the first chick I've been interested in since then.

So I guess i'll find an opening to steer the conversation & jut be direct and see what happens.

[HangingChad]

Glad you took my post as I meant it. Reading it back I may have sounded like a prick. I remember your story with the CF girl, that and all that happened would be a mind **** on several levels. It makes sense for you to be hesitant. Great that you are ready to get back in the game and sounds like you have plenty of experience to lean on.

Based on what you wrote, this girl definitely sounded interested and was being physical with you all night. She probably got quiet because she took your non-escalation as rejection. Personally, I'd just pick up like nothing had happened, don't need to get so serious. Tomorrow morning, talk to her at work like nothing has changed. Keep it casual, can't stress that enough. Invite her to do something just the two of you like grabbing drinks. Something chill and low-pressure, that even friends might do. Dinner is probably too much unless that's something you guys do already. Just have fun. Then keep escalating the physical **** once you're back at her place or yours. Most women prefer action over a conversation, especially when signals have been given. If she's no longer interested, you'll get that vibe. You have experience with women, so presumably you can read the room without needing to have a conversation about things.

[BamHurgler]

I'm used to woman being very forward with me, so i dont know how to read this.

She's my coworker (i know, i know), 36, intelligent, grounded, former d1 soccer player. we're good friends, talk all day at work & text all the time for months.

invite her to a cinco de mayo party at my friends house probably 10 other people, all couples in their 40s, we're in our 30s.
throughout the night when i'm talking to people she would walk up & knee me in my quad or shoulder check me to get my attention probably 15 times or more. kept pinching my nipples because they were hard. made me slow dance with her. etc. we stayed the night. she slept in a twin bed, i slept in the floor beside her.

she took me home the next morning. texted me all day until my friends wife told me to invite her back over to watch ufc, so i did. she left me on read, not a yes or no, didnt even continue the conversation we were already having. she never texted again the whole weekend. so go into work today, we didnt speak a word to each other. i caught her looking at me several times out of my peripheral, but never made eye contact. and when i say we talk all day every day for months, this is the first time we've gone even a day without talking this year.


i should also add, i haven't even tried to go on a date in over a year.. i just have a regular rotation of a few girls. But i actually dig this girl. But really needed her to make the move so it doesn't make my workplace awkward.

You are the one giving mixed signals lmao. Maybe stop being such a pucci and pound her out, thats what she wants

just lol at slow dancing with a girl and her flirting with you for months but still sleeping on the floor

[Tuga88]

She was down to smash. You kept being oblivious to her signals so she went as far as letting you sleep in the same room......and you slept on the floor lmao. You're known as a hoe? Now she knows you're actually a little pussy.

[stev0n]

Glad you took my post as I meant it. Reading it back I may have sounded like a prick. I remember your story with the CF girl, that and all that happened would be a mind **** on several levels. It makes sense for you to be hesitant. Great that you are ready to get back in the game and sounds like you have plenty of experience to lean on.

Based on what you wrote, this girl definitely sounded interested and was being physical with you all night. She probably got quiet because she took your non-escalation as rejection. Personally, I'd just pick up like nothing had happened, don't need to get so serious. Tomorrow morning, talk to her at work like nothing has changed. Keep it casual, can't stress that enough. Invite her to do something just the two of you like grabbing drinks. Something chill and low-pressure, that even friends might do. Dinner is probably too much unless that's something you guys do already. Just have fun. Then keep escalating the physical **** once you're back at her place or yours. Most women prefer action over a conversation, especially when signals have been given. If she's no longer interested, you'll get that vibe. You have experience with women, so presumably you can read the room without needing to have a conversation about things.

Thanks for the pep talk!

I took your advice, acted like nothing happened. (My car is in the shop while I'm rebuilding the supercharger & doing some carbon fiber work- we work at a dealership) so I told her to come pick me up and take me to the gym. lol. She picked me up, took me to her place while she changed, worked out, then she took me home. Then I told her we are gonna go again saturday, then to dinner & drinks after (didn't ask). She said she liked that idea. So we'll see how Saturday goes.

After the last relationship, I keep my private life very private, because people will try to ruin good things. She's kind of similar, in that she doesn't do social media. We ran into a couple people from work at the gym last night, & she could sense that i wasn't down to explain anything, so she grabbed my arm and walked off from them. which i appreciated.

[LargePeter]

Thanks for the pep talk!

I took your advice, acted like nothing happened. (My car is in the shop while I'm rebuilding the supercharger & doing some carbon fiber work- we work at a dealership) so I told her to come pick me up and take me to the gym. lol. She picked me up, took me to her place while she changed, worked out, then she took me home. Then I told her we are gonna go again saturday, then to dinner & drinks after (didn't ask). She said she liked that idea. So we'll see how Saturday goes.

After the last relationship, I keep my private life very private, because people will try to ruin good things. She's kind of similar, in that she doesn't do social media. We ran into a couple people from work at the gym last night, & she could sense that i wasn't down to explain anything, so she grabbed my arm and walked off from them. which i appreciated.

...you didn't bang?

[HangingChad]

Banging is happening tomorrow night.