Newest one: Using "WE" as a passive aggressive way to suggest that "YOU" do something.
"Are we setting that meeting today?"
"Are we sending that out later?"
"Are we fcking ourselves this afternoon for lunch?"
Let's hear 'em, office brahs...
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09-27-2019, 10:03 AM #1
Corporate jargon that pisses you off
Advocate for the Extinction of Starfish as a Species
You should move to a small town, where the rule of law still exists. You will not survive here. You are not a wolf, and this is a land of wolves now.
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09-27-2019, 10:04 AM #2
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09-27-2019, 10:06 AM #3
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09-27-2019, 10:06 AM #4
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09-27-2019, 10:07 AM #5
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09-27-2019, 10:08 AM #6
Noun-ing verbs or verbing nouns.
"We're going to adequately resource this project"
"That's a significant spend"
"We're going to hold off on actioning on this"
Also, "bio break." I hear this more and more and it's fuking weird. Humans have needs, and sometimes we need to use the bathroom, and it's okay to say that.
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09-27-2019, 10:08 AM #7
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09-27-2019, 10:08 AM #8
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09-27-2019, 10:09 AM #9
We is a common way to not make people "bitch" too much.
"You're accusing me whaaaaaa - HR."
I tend to refer to the department name rather than the person(s) I am talking about.
"Operations on Job 22201 failed to complete a timely spec analysis in period 3 of quarter one now the billings department is unable to ascertain milestones for subcontractors A1 through D3. The long form will now be necessary for procurement processes on all lead level 3-5 scope processes."
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09-27-2019, 10:09 AM #10
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09-27-2019, 10:10 AM #11
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09-27-2019, 10:11 AM #12
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09-27-2019, 10:11 AM #13
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09-27-2019, 10:12 AM #14
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09-27-2019, 10:13 AM #15
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09-27-2019, 10:16 AM #16
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09-27-2019, 10:16 AM #17
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09-27-2019, 10:20 AM #18
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09-27-2019, 10:25 AM #19
"I was only able to fit my hand and some of my wrist up the secretaries arse.... I hoping to go full fist, wrist, and arm next week...
Okay, great, lets "touch base" and "cross that bridge" when the time comes.... Best regards."
In all seriousness, I don't have this issue. If someone tries to speak to me in corporate-autism, I will ask them to just speak to me "in English". Most people deeply despise this "jargon" so if you let it be known you hate it as well, they will just talk to you like a human being. Gotta speak up about this chit MISC Sor you will continue to the get the passive aggressive corporate jargon tossed at you.Outdoors brah is a purely fictitious persona. Any contextual or graphic creation, opinion, or post made by Outdoorsbrah is not a reflection of real life or reality in any manner, expressed nor implied.
*Photoshop / PhotoChop Crew*
*High Test Crew*
*Graphic Design Crew*
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09-27-2019, 10:25 AM #20
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09-27-2019, 10:27 AM #21
Even better is the --
Please see the attached:
<img1234.pdf>
<img3455.pdf>
Best Regards,
Timothy
Timothy L. Ramirez IV C.P.A., P.M.P., LL.M.
Company X Company Inc.
Fortune 500 Best Rated Companies
Office: (1)-XXX-XXX-XXXX
Cell: (1)-XXX-XXX-XXXX
Fax: (1)-XXX-XXX-XXXX
Contact us:
1234 Corporate Avenue
San Francisco, CA
94334-5500
Mailing Address:
P.O. Box 1234
Antioch, CA
94531-5007
<font color="#009900" face="Webdings" size="4">P</font><font
color="#009900" face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="2"> <strong>Please
consider the environment before printing this email</strong></font>
Can you make a longer e-mail footer please? Especially like it when the code fails and they haven't realized it and they send me an e-mail in the wrong format so I can't even see what the **** they sent.
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09-27-2019, 10:27 AM #22
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09-27-2019, 10:27 AM #23
I see no issue with this one. In fact, I think the bigger issue is the overuse of the word "Thanks."
I'll say thanks if the person I'm emailing actually did something. But if I'm emailing to just offer information, to request information, to answer a question etc -- then what am I thanking this person for?
and "thanks" comes up in so many emails. Some people write it as part of their signature even,
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09-27-2019, 10:28 AM #24
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09-27-2019, 10:30 AM #25
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09-27-2019, 10:30 AM #26
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09-27-2019, 10:32 AM #27
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09-27-2019, 10:33 AM #28
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09-27-2019, 10:34 AM #29
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09-27-2019, 10:35 AM #30
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