Getting back to a fit and healthy me - my accountability log

[HappyVanilla]

Hi my name is Jasmin. I am 34 years old and from Germany. Mom of a wonderful son. I lived in the USA for 6 years, and I miss it.

I was fit and healthy, doing P90X twice, walking the Baatan death march marathon and dancing all night every Friday, and just being fit and healthy and happy.

When I moved back to Germany to a new city -near Cologne, where I didnt know anybody, I faced heartbreak and a divorce and job loss and loneliness. So I hit rock bottom, gained about 9 kilo, barely did workout anymore and was overall sad and miserable.

I am better this year already, got the help of a counselor, and am working again, but I found it extremly hard to get back on track on my own with a healthy lifestyle, so I signed up for bodybuilding.com yesterday night. And hopefully this community can help me getting back on track. Today is the first day of getting back to a fit and healthy me.

My current stats:
Height: 1,65 metres
Weight: 67.8 kílograms

Goals:
-Getting back to 60 kilo by December 31 (fitting in my favorite jeans again), Back to fit and healthy 58 kilograms by April 2016
-Stop emotional eating / overeating again
-Making working out a habit again - I love yoga, weight lifting, dancing, hiit, Workout DVDs
-Eating healthy again - Veggies and fruit every day
-Drink at least 3 litres of water again every day
-Being a role model for my son again. Teaching him a fit and healthy lifestyle by example and actions, not only by words

I like flexible dieting, but I did not calculate my macros again yet. Since I am not sure if that really should be the way for me. I tend to feel very stressed when I track my macros and then start to overeat and stop tracking after a few days. Any tips and advice are greatly appreciated.

My BMR is: 1378 Calories/Day one calculator said. I had a trainer once who sold me this flexible dieting plan who said my BMR would be way unter 1100- his excuse why he gave me a plan which said high intensity hard workout every day and only 1100 cal a day. He has a high reputation, so I am not even sure what to believe and where to start again. So right now until I figured it out again, I focus on eating more veggies and some fruit and drink enough water and get enough protein in and less fat.

The hardest part is starting to workout again. I am eating breakfast right now and want to start my workout before it is noon. Currently it is 10:39 am here in Germany. I hope this plattform can help me stay on track. I signed up for a group and a workout plan. Looking forward to meeting new friends.

[HappyVanilla]

So far I did and tracked my first workout in a long time, despite the fact that I had a headache and no motivation. I know I will struggle till I form a habit again. So I´ll fight through it. I got veggies und fruit in and whey protein and water intake is good. So I am proud of myself so far. Its only the first day, but I have a good feeling about everything this time.

[HappyVanilla]

Second day done.
I feel a bit sick today and very sore from yesterdays workout. Only slept for 4 hours tonight, too and had to work today. But I still did my workout as planned and ate healthy all day. Got my veggies and water and fruit in and protein. Going good. Hope it stays like that.
I actually was hoping that my pounds where magically dropping over night after one day of good eating and working out, but that of course didn´t happen. I guess I am not 17 anymore.

[HappyVanilla]

3rd day on track. I started tracking macros, but take it easy. Focussing on drinking enough and eating healthy. I am sick since yesterday. Running a little fever, too. So I took it easy on my third workout, but didnt skip it. Getting my veggies, fruits and water in. A little low on protein. But progressing one step at a time.

The macros I calculated were:

CARBS 81.3g
PROTEIN 134.2g
FAT 59.7g
FIBER 30 - 37g
CALORIES 1399

For now I just try to stay at/under my calorie goal, hitting my macros to a t comes later. I don´t want to mess it up by wanting to much all at once. Happend before, so I take it slow this time.

[HappyVanilla]

So I am still sick. Couldnt do a workout today. Shouldn´t have done one yesterday probalby either. But my motivation is still up and I am still doing well with my diet. Sore as hell from the workouts, too.

[HappyVanilla]

Hey I am still working on my goals, but I found this forum is not very responsive or helpful for me, though I know it is very much so for others, so this will be my last post. Not every community is for everyone. So no offense or anything. I just found more motivation and connections with other people on instagram .I wish everybody who reads this much success on their journey. I post on IG daily what I eat and what I do for my workout etc. Feel free to follow me there. IG: happyhealthyfitvanilla
Much love to you. *waves*
Jasmin