You sleep naked, naturally, and don't have time to throw your undies on. You quickly grab the 12 gauge Mossberg pump that you keep at your bedside. You know this is it, you've been thinking of this moment ever since you purchased the gun. As you sneak as quietly as possible to engage the intruder are you rocking a scared shriveled package, or a rock hard fear boner?
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Results 1 to 30 of 201
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01-12-2015, 05:55 PM #1Registered Rustler
- Join Date: Jan 2009
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It's 2 am and you hear an intruder enter your house
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01-12-2015, 05:59 PM #2Hiding from ForumNature
- Join Date: Nov 2008
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I read title and thought it was going to be a thread made by 2am..... I was disappointed.
I would ofcourse be rock hard because I am going to repeatedly violate the intruder until he has a change of heart about the way he is living his life. then at precisely 4:05 AM, while sitting in a pool of sweat and shame with the scent of mansex and broken dreamss wafting through the air, I will post the video of my last 2 hours and 5 minutes on the Misc for educational and validation purposes
no homo....
Edit: 1st!!!You would be surprised just how much time I have to waste.
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01-12-2015, 06:00 PM #3Registered User
- Join Date: Jan 2013
- Posts: 3,529
- Rep Power: 6612
Would have a boner of a misc god on day 350 of no fap
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01-12-2015, 06:01 PM #4Banned
- Join Date: Feb 2014
- Location: California, United States
- Age: 29
- Posts: 7,883
- Rep Power: 0
Get da loob ready
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01-12-2015, 06:01 PM #5Huntin a bit of meat
- Join Date: Sep 2009
- Location: Victoria, Australia
- Posts: 18,004
- Rep Power: 104295
Would start rubbing one out and shoot him with my load before pumping full of lead
'Id rather die on my feet, than live on my knees' - Emiliano Zapata
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'I Will Walk Through The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death, I Will Fear No Evil Because I'm The Baddest Motherfuker In The God Damn Valley'
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01-12-2015, 06:01 PM #6
Well I don't own a firearm, so my boner would be my main weapon
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01-12-2015, 06:04 PM #7harnessbootychannelrage
- Join Date: Apr 2014
- Posts: 665
- Rep Power: 1741
similar thing happened to me. intruder walking along back deck at 2:20 am. jumped outta bed pulled on some dirty underwear on the floor. only weapon i could find was a half full beer bottle next to my bed. growled at the intruder through the window and he ran off anyway. couldnt get back to sleep and my balls looked like a pair of sultanas srs
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01-12-2015, 06:06 PM #8Certified smartestMISCer
- Join Date: Jul 2003
- Posts: 10,578
- Rep Power: 81082
There is no love or lust or hate or fear here... blow away unfortunate moron who should have known better, put on pants, call police to retrieve body, spend rest of night cleaning up mess.
That is all.The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. Thomas Jefferson
Screenwriter- u mad brah?
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01-12-2015, 06:07 PM #9Topboy
- Join Date: Jun 2014
- Location: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
- Age: 23
- Posts: 525
- Rep Power: 248
Stab him srs.
ur mum injects me with gear boyo
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01-12-2015, 06:24 PM #10Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2010
- Age: 36
- Posts: 238
- Rep Power: 209
probably just shoot my penis off.
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01-12-2015, 06:26 PM #11
I don't know why 2am would want to break into my house tbh
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01-12-2015, 06:27 PM #12Registered Weapon
- Join Date: Oct 2011
- Posts: 54,572
- Rep Power: 1077127
nah bro I'm sweet
Last edited by proudmanlet; 01-12-2015 at 06:32 PM.
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01-12-2015, 06:28 PM #13this, hes not that type of guyOriginally Posted by ButWhoWasName
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01-12-2015, 06:30 PM #14==========
- Join Date: Aug 2013
- Location: Indiana, United States
- Age: 31
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With my raging fear boner I'd hold 2am at gunpoint and force him to rep me.
No reps for the wicked ★ Deacon at the Church of Iron ★ Boring Adult Crew
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01-12-2015, 06:32 PM #15Mass Teacher
- Join Date: Apr 2011
- Location: Sydney, nsw, Australia
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Rock a mangina of course
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WNB should have negged me but mercy was shown.
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01-12-2015, 06:33 PM #16
I am rock hard
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*steak, mashed potatoes, and steamed vegetables is the go to meal
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01-12-2015, 06:34 PM #17Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2012
- Posts: 1,560
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u sound really paranoid. but u sound prepared good!!!Originally Posted by TheCore84
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01-12-2015, 06:35 PM #18Registered Rustler
- Join Date: Jan 2009
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Strong replyOriginally Posted by 400Lb Gorilla
You do for the sake of this thread brah.Originally Posted by BrocepCurls
Derrick has a mangina, Derrick has a manginaOriginally Posted by Short_of_aus
Also who the phuck is 2am?Bears, Bulls, Blackhawks, and White Sox
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01-12-2015, 06:35 PM #19ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ
- Join Date: Jan 2009
- Location: United States
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I would think its 2am, but he's banned
so no worries for me tonight.
How to stay MOTIVATED: Take it one day at a time, surround yourself with positivity, create a vision board, make S.M.A.R.T. goals, reward yourself, BELIEVE in yourself, acknowledge your positive attributes, recognize your progress, visualize accomplishing your goals, be kind to yourself, and above all - DON'T COMPARE yourself to others.
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01-12-2015, 06:36 PM #20Registered Rustler
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Oh you have no idea. Brb hiding firearms around my home like Dwight Schrute with medieval weapons. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it brah.Originally Posted by Squidbrah
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01-12-2015, 06:51 PM #21Registered User
- Join Date: Jul 2014
- Age: 28
- Posts: 540
- Rep Power: 0
ask him for reps
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01-12-2015, 07:24 PM #22
First off, I'm grabbing my AR, not a shotgun, and certainly not a Mossberg
That said, rock hardBest total @ 198: 1520 @ 195.4 - 575/360/585
Best total @ 220: 1603 @ 219.6 - 578/402/622 wraps; 1504 @ 206 - 529/363/611 sleeves
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01-12-2015, 07:25 PM #23Paying Taxes
- Join Date: Mar 2012
- Location: Florida, United States
- Posts: 3,625
- Rep Power: 54042
Is this a srs post? lol at AR.Originally Posted by baize82
"It is always easy to do right when you know ahead of time what you stand for."
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01-12-2015, 07:31 PM #24Hi my name is.......
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- Location: Australia
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Jokes on you, i'm not allowed to use firearms for self defence.
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01-12-2015, 07:34 PM #25Banned
- Join Date: Sep 2011
- Location: Texas, United States
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Rock hard, blow the persons brains out then **** their skull
Not srs
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01-12-2015, 07:36 PM #26hell yeah brother
- Join Date: Aug 2011
- Posts: 16,721
- Rep Power: 136596
lol at pump gauge. semi auto FTW, much faster reload and more accurate (not yanking gun around pointing) for consecutive shots
---GIVE-------------------------------
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01-12-2015, 07:36 PM #27Registered Rustler
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Not sure if srs lmfao!Originally Posted by baize82
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01-12-2015, 07:37 PM #28Registered Rustler
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Enjoy paying twice as much. With a little practice your aim won't really be thrown off.Originally Posted by BuckNakedinBama
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01-12-2015, 07:38 PM #29Registered User
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Squeeze his trachea with just a few pounds of pressure and watch his knees buckle underneath him
Port of Baltimore.
O's and Boh's. Ravens and Edgar Allan Poe's.
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01-12-2015, 07:40 PM #30Bigger than your GF
- Join Date: Aug 2011
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I would tell 2am just because hes banned doesn't mean he can come in my house and disrespect my family.
Its my thyroid
Misc M.D.
so no worries for me tonight.
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