My gf (now ex) is pregnant

[pyroknife]

Aerospace engineering, eh?

"Is my body my rule", eh?

I guess I now understand why the space shuttle program was doomed to fail.

I could go into the irrelevancy of this post.

[imperialmisc]

She seems crazy. Seems like she's hinting at suicide or something IMO, also sounds like she's using this to get to you somehow. Holy phuckk. Glad I'm single.. Crazy man. Also Tmobile sucks I have it too. Feel you on that too OP.

[JBjunior]

This was my first serious relationship. So yeah, I feel alone and it sucks and I wish I wasn't single, but I WANT HER OUT OF MY LIFE. I DO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER and I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET HER OUT OF MY LIFE. I cannot be with her. If she wants to have the child, then I'll take responsibility, but I just cannot get back with her. Our personalities sit on the opposite ends of a spectrum. We can't be together.

By relationship, I mean the ability to talk without wanting to kill each other. If she is really pregnant with your child, you will either be driving yourself crazy with pain the rest of your life or able to conduct yourselves in a productive manner.

[pyroknife]

When things were calm between us, I think she was leaning towards an abortion, despite saying how she does not want an abortion. But she kept pulling 180s (and I mean pulling 180s in a 5 minute conversation, so she clearly does not know what she wants.). She thinks saying that she doesn't want an abortion might make her appear as somewhat of a better person. This is why I think she is saying she's going to have the child out of spite. She'd be making the right decision for the wrong reason.

[nightmare69]

There are plenty of good families out there who would love to adopt a child. If yall cannot give the child a loving home them give it to a couple who can.

[pyroknife]

She seems crazy. Seems like she's hinting at suicide or something IMO, also sounds like she's using this to get to you somehow. Holy phuckk. Glad I'm single.. Crazy man. Also Tmobile sucks I have it too. Feel you on that too OP.

Seen the movie Gone Girl? I almost feel like I'm living that movie, except my ex is no where near as smart. Tmobile is cheap at least . I get decent service at most places but not inside the building where my office is located.

By relationship, I mean the ability to talk without wanting to kill each other. If she is really pregnant with your child, you will either be driving yourself crazy with pain the rest of your life or able to conduct yourselves in a productive manner.

I think I need to just calm down too and figure out how to speak to her. I'm doing more harm than good right now.

[imperialmisc]

When things were calm between us, I think she was leaning towards an abortion, despite saying how she does not want an abortion. But she kept pulling 180s (and I mean pulling 180s in a 5 minute conversation, so she clearly does not know what she wants.). She thinks saying that she doesn't want an abortion might make her appear as somewhat of a better person. This is why I think she is saying she's going to have the child out of spite. She'd be making the right decision for the wrong reason.

Right now, here's what I would do:
-Go for a run/workout/whatever. Relieve some stress. Think about all of this, and try and make peace with whatever is about to happen. She knows you don't want a relationship but if she has this kid, you should be a part of its life and you CAN still be civil with her. She seems annoying but she's still your child's mother, so do it for the kid. Also give her time to calm down.. she's probably under a chit ton of stress as it is. See what happens in a week or so, and whatever happens remain calm and keep your cool.

[pyroknife]

There are plenty of good families out there who would love to adopt a child. If yall cannot give the child a loving home them give it to a couple who can.

She's mentioned that a long time ago, when our relationship was actually healthy. One time we had sex 6 times in a day and I mentioned something like "I think I get horny way too much around you. We should probably slow down or statistically you might get pregnant. What would happen if you get pregnant?" She said "We're not ready for a child and I do not want to do an abortion. We can put the child up for adoption."
Last week when we last talked in person I brought back up the adoption conversation we had awhile back and she said "I would never be able to put my child up for adoption. If I have to go through 9 months of hard work labor, I'm keeping the child. What kind of mother would I be to part with my child?"
She goes back and forth all the time.

[pyroknife]

Right now, here's what I would do:
-Go for a run/workout/whatever. Relieve some stress. Think about all of this, and try and make peace with whatever is about to happen. She knows you don't want a relationship but if she has this kid, you should be a part of its life and you CAN still be civil with her. She seems annoying but she's still your child's mother, so do it for the kid. Also give her time to calm down.. she's probably under a chit ton of stress as it is. See what happens in a week or so, and whatever happens remain calm and keep your cool.

Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Being inside is driving me NUTS. I don't think I can wait a full week though. I'm going to be 1200 miles apart from her starting Jan 10th, so I want to take care of things before then. That leaves me with 10 days. But I want to get everything sorted by the time I leave.

[imperialmisc]

She's mentioned that a long time ago, when our relationship was actually healthy. One time we had sex 6 times in a day and I mentioned something like "I think I get horny way too much around you. We should probably slow down or statistically you might get pregnant. What would happen if you get pregnant?" She said "We're not ready for a child and I do not want to do an abortion. We can put the child up for adoption."
Last week when we last talked in person I brought back up the adoption conversation we had awhile back and she said "I would never be able to put my child up for adoption. If I have to go through 9 months of hard work labor, I'm keeping the child. What kind of mother would I be to part with my child?"
She goes back and forth all the time.

Explain to her there is a better family that would like to take care of it. Ask her what kind of mother she's fit to be now? (not in a dickish way, there's really no way to sugar coat that question) Might smack some sense into her. It's selfish to keep that child just because you had it with you for 9 months. You get attached, but if you really love something you want the best for it. Doesn't seem like she's the best for it, unless something changes.

[pyroknife]

Think it's a good idea for me to pull some reverse psychology and start apologizing for breaking up with her and stuff related to the relationship just so I can have an attempt at a civil conversation even though I would mean none of it?
At this point, I don't care about my pride.

[hnb4willyo]

Yes

[pyroknife]

Explain to her there is a better family that would like to take care of it. Ask her what kind of mother she's fit to be now? (not in a dickish way, there's really no way to sugar coat that question) Might smack some sense into her. It's selfish to keep that child just because you had it with you for 9 months. You get attached, but if you really love something you want the best for it. Doesn't seem like she's the best for it, unless something changes.

I think if she hsa the child, I will do everything I can. Adoption would be an option, but I want to save it as a last resort. My parents and their parents before them were big on having the grandparents take care of the children of their children. So that is another possibility.

Yes

I think she wants me to apologize. She will retaliate with hostility. I'm not the best at putting up an act, so I need to think of how to be convincing if I go through with this approach.

But if I apologize, she will think I'm trying to get back with her, which might be what she wants. I don't want to give any indication of that.

[imperialmisc]

Apologize for coming across as a dick and being immature, (if you want to) best option is to just try and be supportive. She seems unstable and you're both freaking out right now. Get off the misc, get some fresh air, think things over, and talk with her about this in person.

[pyroknife]

Apologize for coming across as a dick and being immature, (if you want to) best option is to just try and be supportive. She seems unstable and you're both freaking out right now. Get off the misc, get some fresh air, think things over, and talk with her about this in person.

She will reply with "I don't want to see you. I don't need to see you." I don't know if that's how she actually feels, but I know she would say that. I'm currently at my parents home, an hour's drive away, but I'm willing to drive and meet her in person for a worthwhile conversation. But before that, I have to get across to her.

So far I have something drafted:
"Have the child. I'll support it. I dont want to go through with an abortion. It's not what I believe in. We don't have many opportunities in life to stand up for our beliefs. We have to be responsible. We might hate each other, but that does not mean we should hate the child too. Another being should not have to pay for the sins of their parents. The least we can do is give the child loving parents. That much we can at least do.

I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm not asking you to like me. I'm asking you to think about this carefully. We have been irresponsible to each other, but we can start to make amends by being responsible for this one action. I know it is inside your body, but I put it inside your body. <insert some other stuff I haven't though of yet>"





If we make up, she will likely go through with an abortion. She is scared of her dad and dissapointing the rest of her family. She was even scared to tell her dad we were dating, there's no way she'd be able to tell or show her dad that she's pregnant. When she remembers this, the first thing she will do is save her ass.

[pyroknife]

*Sighs*
So I spoke with her. I tried the being nice approach. The only way I could speak with her is by acting like we were a couple again. We are going to try to schedule a clinic test next week. We've decided no abortion.

I guess I'm stuck with her. I hope she changes, otherwise I will remain emotionally detached.

[goodcupcakes]

*Sighs*
So I spoke with her. I tried the being nice approach. The only way I could speak with her is by acting like we were a couple again. We are going to try to schedule a clinic test next week. We've decided no abortion.

I guess I'm stuck with her. I hope she changes, otherwise I will remain emotionally detached.

Age 22
Life Status: Obliterated

[pyroknife]

Age 22
Life Status: Obliterated

Not really. Just gotta put up with her. No marriage.

[pyroknife]

Went to hospital with her. Pregnancy came out as positive. Had an ultrasound. 7 weeks pregnant (5 weeks conceived--don't really get the 7 weeks thing). So I know it's mine.

[JValkyrie]

How have you gone managing your ex girlfriend pyro? Are you both able to work together now?

[Boffothe]

Went to hospital with her. Pregnancy came out as positive. Had an ultrasound. 7 weeks pregnant (5 weeks conceived--don't really get the 7 weeks thing). So I know it's mine.

What's the plan now?

[MrBungle11]

I guess I'm stuck with her. I hope she changes, otherwise I will remain emotionally detached.

You mean stuck with her because she's the mother of your child, or stuck with her because you're actually considering being with her despite hating each other?

[PunkDaft]

Hold the fuk up OP, were you not of town travelling the past month when she got preggers? This has to be a joke now.

Yup, found it:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=165637921

Need some thoughts on the way I acted. I'll try to make this short.

I was traveling the past 4 weeks and have not seen the girlfriend (in person) until yesterday. We went out to dinner with her sister (they picked me up from the airport). Was probably the most un-intimate reunion ever. On the ride over, she talked to her sis most of the time.

That's from ^^ December 21st - which was 2.5 weeks ago. So she was obviously already prego by the time you got back. And since you were gone the 4 weeks prior (up to 6.5 weeks from positive test) there's a pretty significant chance she got pregs when you were away.

No one can be this stupid so putting my money on troll post.

[Noellex]

Ha. You claim that you both have strong anti-abortion beliefs, yet you both are considering it. You're all against it when its someone else, but not that easy when its you, huh? That child is half yours. Be a man and fight for it.

[pyroknife]

How have you gone managing your ex girlfriend pyro? Are you both able to work together now?

What's the plan now?

You mean stuck with her because she's the mother of your child, or stuck with her because you're actually considering being with her despite hating each other?

To answer the above 3 quoted posts. The plan is to try to work things out between us and see if we can have a healthy bf/gf relationship. It might be different now than in the past since it's not just about US anymore. She's fine to talk to when she's not pissed at me. The convo I posted earlier in this thread was pretty ridiculous. That's not the kind of person I would be able to work with, so hopefully I don't see that again.

Hold the fuk up OP, were you not of town travelling the past month when she got preggers? This has to be a joke now.

Yup, found it:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=165637921



That's from ^^ December 21st - which was 2.5 weeks ago. So she was obviously already prego by the time you got back. And since you were gone the 4 weeks prior (up to 6.5 weeks from positive test) there's a pretty significant chance she got pregs when you were away.

No one can be this stupid so putting my money on troll post.

Alright detective. I left the day after Thanksgiving (the 28th of Nov I believe). I came back the 20th/21st (one of the 2). So I was gone for actually 3 full weeks and a day or 2 (my bad for saying 4 weeks, didn't think it'd matter that much).

She spent Nov 22-28 with me 24/7.

We went to the clinic yesterday. The ultrasound person said she conceived 5 weeks&4 days ago, which puts her at the 28th, the day I left (I left that night). I looked up that sperm can survive anywhere in between 0 to like 72 hours, so I could've gotten her pregnant anywhere in between the 25-28th of November.

That good enough for you or do I need to show pics of the damn ultrasound?

Would be pretty pathetic for someone to be making this **** up, the ****?

[cookiefiend]

There is no way in fk you should be trying to have a relationship with her.
I would get the child tested when born, just to be sure.

[pyroknife]

There is no way in fk you should be trying to have a relationship with her.
I would get the child tested when born, just to be sure.

I can do that (the DNA test), but at this point, I have little to no doubt about that.

If there is no baby, I wouldn't consider US again.

[sammdurst]

What kind of birth control was she on? And she still got pregnant? This makes me really second guess just pulling out.

[pyroknife]

What kind of birth control was she on? And she still got pregnant? This makes me really second guess just pulling out.

To make my OP sound even dumber, she wasn't on BC, I wasn't using a condom, I cummed inside her with both of us thinking it would be safe since it was the last day of her period. We've had plenty of unprotected sex before, but I always pulled out.

[Dragonboy24]

To make my OP sound even dumber, she wasn't on BC, I wasn't using a condom, I cummed inside her with both of us thinking it would be safe since it was the last day of her period. We've had plenty of unprotected sex before, but I always pulled out.

Holy chit.