Is my father blackmailing, manipulating, just overly worried what other people think?

[Mega9]

For months father complained everyday, all day about money when he:

-Is getting government assistance
-Has two major bank account savings for him
-Getting money from me every week
-Getting money from my sister

-Has mortgage paid off

And in the future

-He will get pension money in the next 2 years as he has worked for around 40 years here
-He'll still get assistance from me

He doesn't seem grounded or organised.

Then he says wear and tear in the house when he hasn't pointed it out. Then he says my room needs decorating when we just had it decorating and he is sometimes brutal saying 'I'll finish you off', that too having helped him for many years.

Also I haven't add the petrol and food money.

You haven't seen his attitude, negativity, but I had to go to the doctors.

I told him to calm down otherwise he will ruin my and his life.

And he doesn't wish to listen to my income on the side.

Do all the chores and he tells me he will finish me and he will kick me out even when giving money, add to that petrol money, food and everything else.

There were times he was brutal and he still doesn't wish to listen to my second source of income and he doesn't want me to move out.

And he says put the papers away, he will throw all the books on the bookshelf away. He will points to my room.

He has been complaining and arguing all day, everyday since June-Nov, he still complains everyday about something, but its getting gruelling and too much.

_________________

Today I brought some drinks and he said why waste £1 on a lucozade botte.

He is ruining my dignity by saying I'm not a man, be clever, be clever like others, when I've had more obstacles to overcome, be more independent, have more responsibilities, mature, been in education, have an excellent track record of jobs and I'm doing well too.

I wonder what exactly does he want? I'm shown consistently I can take care of myself.

He also doesn't wish to listen to my second source of income.

Its getting gruelling and he has been 'at me' for 12 months now.

Out of anger he could ruin mine and his life, I already listen the resources he has, which is fine now and in the future too that he is 64.

I'll help him out in the future. He is fine now and in the future.

I do not think he has dementia since he remembers things very very well and things from the past too. He still seems smart to me in the sense of filling out forms and doing things.

He still is getting angry now and saying things.

I do not know if he just lives in a mental prison where he just continuously is scared of what people say and think of him all the time. And hence he is like this and wanting to prove a point to them.

He doesn't want to listen. I already said I got another income on the side, I often forget I even have it with his negativity.

He continuously complains everyday about anything. I am saving a lot of money, What's wrong with spending £1 on a soda drink a few days a week?

Then after financially helping him, buying food, petrol he complains I need a new mattress, he says I do not help out, I do not help out when I do as much as I can do and I should be free to have a day off on my day off. I am a busy person.

So logically even despite our house decorating, we decorate every week?

I have an excellent track record of jobs and he just seems to have no faith, no faith in anything.
_____________


I don't know why my father is behaving like this, his intentions are, I need some healing on this. I'm scared of him. Living in the house seems gruelling.

Then he says I should be looking after the house and doing everything, taken over which he is being unreasonable, then he says the monthly council tax bill is coming when it is taken care of. And he doesn't listen to me.

______________________________

Doesn't he realise I had to be more independent, have more responsibilities, be mature, I've overcome many obstacles.

I'm already a grown and smart man with general knowledge know when to go to the doctors.

I'm fine now and in the future and so is he with my excellent track record of jobs and he doesn't listen to anything.

How ridiculous does he worry, when in fact he is reversing everything, I'm a grown man, not 12 years old, what the hell I'm an adult now, I've achieved a lot, in jobs, got general knowledge, clearly a sensible, grounded person, independent too, been to uni and jobs. Obviously I can look after myself as I did when I was young. His attitude is very poor.

He doesn't want to listen, huge shame on him. He doesn't wish to listen to my income on the side, he doesn't listen.

He said the women abroad are clever shouting when someone asked if I would be interested. So what if I do not accept a women abroad who I've never heard or seen? Why can't he listen to me. He just wants me to be with anyone just to please himself and prove a point to the community.

Complains about buying $1 worth of soda, saying save money, complains about the door being open, complains about accidentally spilling a small bit of food which I cleaned up, complained about another thing.

[Mr Beer]

Stop crying about your chit head father and move out already, fuk you're a whingy twat m8.

[Mega9]

Cheers.

Now he says I have nothing to do, when in fact I'm trying to earn 2 incomes, he doesn't listen. Then he says 'I will finish him off' when the chair accidentally broke. What the hell, I'm giving everything to him, doing all the chores, I'm not even doing nothing wrong. So I am doing something when he says I've got nothing to do.

I will move out and he also doesn't want me to move out saying I'm leaving him.

[skinnyfat88]

Not reading all that but do some research/see a therapist about toxic family members and how to set boundaries or cut them off.

You only get one life man and clearly your father is singlehandedly ruining yours at the moment.

[Mega9]

But why is he so insecure? Both of his children are very successful, went to uni, he thinks we can't look after ourselves or have no general knowledge when we do. We both have an excellent track record of being in jobs and we are independent.

Why he is so afraid what others think and say?

Its heart breaking he doesn't wish to listen to me. Doesn't he want money or success? Because he complains about it. What's his problem.

Its ridiculous now. He is ruining his life and my life, what a shame and he doesn't wish me to move out.

He just doesn't listen.

I did a lot for him in the past, do a lot in the present, money and chores and will in the future. He doesn't allow me to eat my own food.

He went too far and he could realistically get arrested then he'll see how brutal and hard life really becomes, all he had to do is really live in peace, listen and just stop being insecure, angry when it is for no reason.