People skills are the answer

[hidingwithmusic]

Idk what the misc is thinking because it's not easy mode in life because you are born attractive... I am an attractive guy and I struggle finding a girlfriend. It sucks. The guys with plenty of women also have plenty of friends. It's because of their people skills... They just understand how to talk to people.. it sucks for me because I'm very introverted and quiet. No advice can help, no snapping out of it. I just need to grow balls and get out there anyway and it's hard... I'm just "unfriendly"

Anyone else going through the same thing?

[iputyouatapoint]

Yeah, I'm very introverted, if not shy, and it makes it hard to connect with anyone.

[eod8989]

I have social skills and still can't meet anyone. My issues are mainly not connected with anyone at all either personality wise or through a hobby or interests. But yeah as time goes on i'm getting worse socially because i'm always in my head and don't get to practice. It sucks.

I will start convos at work or people will talk to me and most of the time i zone out because i get so bored after a minute. Even if i'm the one starting the conversation. Idk how to fix this.

[eod8989]

I just don't hear any interesting convos like ever. Not sure how i'm supposed to improve my situation if i can't find anything interesting to talk about. I can't do the netflix and weather conversations anymore.

I do have one person at work i can talk about video games with but that's about as far as it goes since we are both FA and we don't connect on anything else.

[imbored21]

I don't want to talk to people. I just want a hot gf. srs

[VSVP84]

Agree for the most part. Those guys tend to come from good families though. That's a lifestyle which lends to having a lot of friends later on in life. You have to think about what led those guys down that path.

I think a better analysis would include a building familial base - A fundamental support system that allows for further socialization. This should be a person's most stable relationship, allowing other relationships to be less serious at first. It's easier to make loose connections with friends when you're not completely dependent on the relationship for social fulfillment.

A familial base can be obtained as easily as getting a dog, or befriending a relative you lost contact with. This is your main foundation for building people skills. Having long term loyalty to your family gives a good basis in establishing other relationships.

Pursuing social hobbies/personal interests can then bring in friends to your social orbit. There's a commonality there with the interest, and now you have familial relationships to talk about - which help people relate to you. This will help in maintaining long term relationships with your new found friends. You don't want fleeting encounters at the bar here. Although that may be a good practice exercise, you need social status - which requires long term familiarity (<base word family) in a social circle.

Women are the weaker sex, so there is more fear and risk in establishing new relationships for them. Having the aforementioned covered before the pursuit puts you into the 'less risky' category in their eyes. There's a track record there that you're not a psychopath (well behaved dog = well behaved guy). Plus she now has additional social interactions to enjoy in your social orbit.

This all equates to long term stability in the relationship with your partner as well. She becomes emotionally invested in not only you, but also your family, your friends, your pursuits.

[DustinTheHuss]

This is very true. It goes beyond looks.

There was a guy at my tennis club who was 5'10, 270 lbs with a big belly but he was outgoing and friendly. The women flocked to him. I mean he did have a decent face, but still, if he was quiet no one would want him.

[iloveus]

This is very true. It goes beyond looks.

There was a guy at my tennis club who was 5'10, 270 lbs with a big belly but he was outgoing and friendly. The women flocked to him. I mean he did have a decent face, but still, if he was quiet no one would want him.

What do you think of Ryan Gosling or Keanu Reeves?

Those two are quiet yet women flock to them all the time

[1slo5oh]

Females have a nose like a bloodhound for weak , predictable , boring men... You might as well buy them a shamwow to stuff in their envelope...

"A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very , very dangerous man who has it under voluntary control"-Jordan Peterson

Knowing how to properly communicate will take you so much further in all aspects of life than most can ever imagine

[NoWheyOut17]

This is very true. It goes beyond looks.

There was a guy at my tennis club who was 5'10, 270 lbs with a big belly but he was outgoing and friendly. The women flocked to him. I mean he did have a decent face, but still, if he was quiet no one would want him.

Let's be fair, just because they flock to him doesn't mean they wanna hook up with him.
You can be outgoing and charismatic and people/women can still not find you sexually attractive enough to get in bed with.
Not saying having charisma and charm aren't great things to have. They're just another piece of the puzzle.

[iloveus]

Females have a nose like a bloodhound for weak , predictable , boring men... You might as well buy them a shamwow to stuff in their envelope...

"A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very , very dangerous man who has it under voluntary control"-Jordan Peterson

Knowing how to properly communicate will take you so much further in all aspects of life than most can ever imagine

1. Be articulate - so read more books

2. Physical Prowess - So lift weights and do MMA

[Azrairc]

read "how to wins friends and influence people" and practice talking to strangers

yeah it sucks and it might sound odd but if you really want friends you will find a way, same with pussy

[iputyouatapoint]

Practice bushido and remain quiet, but come off as strong.

[Voidgaze]

Females have a nose like a bloodhound for weak , predictable , boring men...

This hurt to read because it's so damn true.

[hidingwithmusic]

Let's be fair, just because they flock to him doesn't mean they wanna hook up with him.
You can be outgoing and charismatic and people/women can still not find you sexually attractive enough to get in bed with.
Not saying having charisma and charm aren't great things to have. They're just another piece of the puzzle.

There's more to life than sex... Having close contacts with plenty of awesome people is more exciting.

I'm sure her example has better odds to hooking up with at least some of those many girls looking to flock with him than I do.... I have looks & so much going in my life as far as my future with career (graduating from LSU, becoming a welder) but I am shy, have no personality, and I look scary (I work security, train MMA, like fighting).. I'm meeting nobody.. I really need to meet a coach to help me out of this mess.

It's depressing being the strong, quiet, and serious type. It's hard for me to make even a single friend :-/

[natureboy500]

but I am shy, have no personality, and I look scary (I work security, train MMA, like fighting).. I'm meeting nobody.. I really need to meet a coach to help me out of this mess.

It's depressing being the strong, quiet, and serious type. It's hard for me to make even a single friend :-/

Wow I am the exact same man.. I am also 6ft8. Been like this for the past 10 years.

The issue with 'scary' looking men is that we have to try harder because we don't look approachable at all, whereas a 5ft9 guy who smiles all the time wins more in social situations.

In my security work I also notice that my partner (who is always a smaller guy) also gets approached by random people more than I do even though I am much better looking, but intimidating.

[eod8989]

Wow I am the exact same man.. I am also 6ft8. Been like this for the past 10 years.

The issue with 'scary' looking men is that we have to try harder because we don't look approachable at all, whereas a 5ft9 guy who smiles all the time wins more in social situations.

In my security work I also notice that my partner (who is always a smaller guy) also gets approached by random people more than I do even though I am much better looking, but intimidating.

I'm the same 6'2 muscular and act serious all the time unless I know you well. I'm also introverted af and only talk if it's something I find interesting so I rarely small talk

[hidingwithmusic]

Wow I am the exact same man.. I am also 6ft8. Been like this for the past 10 years.

The issue with 'scary' looking men is that we have to try harder because we don't look approachable at all, whereas a 5ft9 guy who smiles all the time wins more in social situations.

In my security work I also notice that my partner (who is always a smaller guy) also gets approached by random people more than I do even though I am much better looking, but intimidating.

I'm getting ready to leave security for law enforcement after my I make one year at this current job. I'm going to be a corrections officer... Higher pay to work inside the parish prison and I need the money as I'm currently going to college.

Yeh I know you understand:-/ I'm scary.. also the coworkers call me the takedown expert lol feel my pain. Wanted to become army ranger special forces but mental health snubbed me & currently have a job lined up at a local MMA promotion and the UFC is watching my Instagram. Im attractive but no woman wants a guy whose nut fighter either, they want a friendly bitch 😔😔😔

[Evolutionary1]

Basic Human communication is a challenge to the modern female

[Evolutionary1]

ever since she came into my life(16-17?) it's been nothing but drama and chaos. It's different when you're stuck in the same small town