I'm scared to lift more than 10 pounds!

[skizbees]

While on a mini vacation, I was chatting with a woman (with her beer in hand) at a bar who has a healthy fear of using dumbells heavier than 10 pounds to develop her shoulders and biceps. She's convinced she'll bulk up immediately and flexed her bicep to show her progress. I saw no movement other than the 90 degree forearm lift. "See, I don't want to get too much bigger." She did not know the names of, nor elaborate on any exercise she currently did for those bodyparts other than "Light dumbells no more than ten pounds". Her arm, unflexed, is probably twice as large as mine. I showed her a cell phone pic of my most recent back double bicep shot (almost two months ago) and she gives me a disapproving look, then says "****...how did you do that? That's weird." Um..thank you? I better go stock up on neon green and pink spraypaint.

I initially thought "Ugh. Another one misinformed about women lifting. She's terrified of turning into a man." So I just told her "Well I lift heavy by comparision: 25 lb. db for (concentration) arm curls and I'm still a lot smaller than you are. I have a long way to go. Try lifting more than ten pounds, it's too easy for you. You may like it if you consistently challenge yourself. I'm sure you can handle that."

In regular street clothes I don't look like I've set foot near a gym and I'm starting to hate that. I may run into her again in the coming weeks and if she's open to it, I want to help her get to her toning goal for her arms. This woman is about 5'6" and on the larger side, assumably endo-meso. Any advice (please, be general) for just her arms and shoulders?

I don't know if she's a member of a gym, or just works out at an apartment complex's mini gym set up (about seven different machines total; elliptical, lat pulldown/row combo, leg curl, leg press, chest press, lying leg curl, biomechanically incorrect ab crunch). All of these visibly rusty machines (From BodyFitness or whatever)have giant padding about the size of a large PVC pipe on the resistance arms and don't adjust easily.

[litlfalafelgirl]

Well, i don't have any advice on the fear. the only reason i was afraid to go heavier was i didn't want to get hurt - so i started working with a trainer. you could always advise her to do that and she or he could advise the woman on how to tone without "getting big."

i do have a question - how long were you working on your arms? they are freakin' fantastic! i'm almost the same hieght and weight as you, but only have been at this 3 months now. slowly, slowly getting there, but did you have any specific routine for your arms?

[empresscat]

If her fear is that her arms will get bigger, then you can explain that a pound of muscle takes up less space than a pound of fat - if she challenges her body, and adds muscle (or "muscle tone" if you must), the challenge will also help burn calories and get rid of fat. (She's not burning many calories lifting a weight that doesn't challenge her.)

[skizbees]

Well, i don't have any advice on the fear. the only reason i was afraid to go heavier was i didn't want to get hurt - so i started working with a trainer. you could always advise her to do that and she or he could advise the woman on how to tone without "getting big."

i do have a question - how long were you working on your arms? they are freakin' fantastic! i'm almost the same hieght and weight as you, but only have been at this 3 months now. slowly, slowly getting there, but did you have any specific routine for your arms?

I've been bodybuilding since September 2006. I was a ballet dancer for about four years, active in sports (volley/basket/soft/dodge/base/pickleball,league bowling,soccer, broom hockey), and am still involved with private music lessons (as a teacher now).

My current arm exercises:

1) DB Overhead press: 20 db (going up to the 25s this week)
2) DB Front Raises: 12 db (going up to 15s this week)
3) One arm DB Rows: 35 dbs (may attempt 40s this week)
4) DB Curls: 25 dbs (going up to the 30s this week)
5) EZ Curls: 45-67.5 lbs
6) DB Shrugs: 30 db (going up to the 35s this week)
7) EZ Bar behind the back shrugs:45-67.5 lbs
8) Straight bar curls: 51.5 pounds

[TurbulentFluid]

I wish these women were right, and that 11 lbs dbs COULD make muscles grow.
Wouldn't have to bugger with those 50 lbs dumbbells for bench press, or those ruddy 25 lbs ones for bic curls...