My ex gf 4.5 years broke up with me, need serious help please

[shawn8888]

Hi All,

Apologies for the long post but i wanted to everyone have the detail insight on it.

So here is my story...we both are based in Hong Kong.

We had a perfect relationship, we are perfect match we understood each other so well that we never argued for 4.5 yrs but she is coming from a wealthy family, she is 27, never had a job and she is very dependent on her parents for everything in life also finances and she cant make her decisions all decisions comes from her parents, so basically she is living a princess life and been spoon feed all these years of her life.

She is a performing pianist this is her career but is a very expensive career as her parents needs to pay a lot for her school fee and for her concerts (FYI she is not famous at all).

So on the 28th March,she told me that her dad will will be introducing wealthy guys to her and also said if she get together with one of them then they can bring lots of business and can support her pianist career as her concerts costs few millions HKD this August and September.

Breaking up with me for money reasons is really bad, no one breaks up for this reason everyone fights together for their love as at the end of the day Love and Happiness prevails over money comes and goes around as long as you both are hardworking.

I told her to fight for our love with her parents and she never replies when i tell her this.

She said she will meet them and may be with one of them she said her career and family is the top priority she is willing to give up LOVE for money.

So for the whole month of April, i did all the pleading and wanted to win her back with my words but that didnt worked at all.

Then i decided to do no contact in May and while during this period out of the blue she texted me this on the 11th May :

This is what she said ;

i miss you a lot and our memories keep "replay" in my head,you are such a beautiful and kind person,all i wanna say is sorry....my words are so hurtful and devil,you really dont deserve it and i am so guilty for what i have said to you. You are right i dont think i can find a man like you and love me as you do. You are too perfect and deserve a better person. I am so sorry and hope you doing good.

Also she called me on Monday 15th May, afternoon and wanted to come over to my place. We met had lunch, she was laughing and very close body contact with me, also letting me touch her. Then we came back my place, she sat on my lap and hug me really tight and started crying like hell for 1 hr, then she said let's have sex then we slept for 1 hr then I made dinner and while having dinner we watched movie then half way through the movie she said we need to talk. She said she really loves, misses and needs me badly and she is very sad these days but she can't guarantee she won't leave again and she said meeting me today doesnt mean we are back together. So I talked her through this, she started crying again and told me to stop and talk this next time. Before leaving she wanted sex again.

The next few days (16th and 17th May) she is always initiating contact with me she also wants to go on a trip with me but she said she won't tell her mother she is going with me as her mother told her not to keep in touch with me anymore...so i am not sure where my ex is leading with this.

She came over to my place again Thursday (18th May) she had sex with me twice, we made dinner and watched movie.

Finally she opened up herself telling me what's on her mind.

She said she met the 2 rich guys that her dad introduced for dinner twice, they hold hands only but she has no feelings for them and she is not herself when she is with them.

She said missed me so much as she is so relaxed, being herself, comfortable and safe being next to me and she also said she couldn't find a person who understands and knows her so well like me so she regretted big time breaking up with me and then she started crying again so hard.

She said she can't find a person who understands her like i do and make her feel so awesome and happy.

But when we are in public, i tried to hold her hand she says not to and she still haven't said she loves me (Maybe she needs more time and feelings to build up)

So now she always initiate contacts with me like calling and texting.

One question i asked her was what are now, are we together or are we in relationship she replied she don't know and she is confused.

She came over to spent a night on Saturday (20th May) but it was not a pleasant night, we did had sex twice but she didnt slept well.

So just waking up the next day her feelings and emotions are fluctuating every minute, telling me that we are not together and her love is not strong as before with me and we should move on, i told her let's take is easy step by step and love will build up over time but she said she don't want to build up instead wants to give up and now she is so cold towards me.

She said we should not see each other anymore and stop contact as well.

I am so confused what to do, how come the week week from 15th to 21st May, with her was so amazing and suddenly she changed her feelings.

She texted me yesterday and also called me on the 26th May saying "I need to cool down, please don't contact me and give me space" so today is the 6th day i didnt contacted her.

i didn't do anything wrong, past week i gave so much love and adored her, and this **** i am getting in return.

I feel like i can't trust this person what if she comes back again and leaves again, she thinks she has all the power now and she can play me anytime.

What shall i do now?

Shall i give her space or shall i move on, any advice?

Did she used me for sex and emotions?

Thanks so much

[Nedo]

she is 27, never had a job and she is very dependent on her parents for everything in life also finances and she cant make her decisions all decisions comes from her parents, so basically she is living a princess life and been spoon feed all these years of her life.

she told me that her dad will will be introducing wealthy guys to her and also said if she get together with one of them then they can bring lots of business and can support her pianist career as her concerts costs few millions HKD this August and September.

Have a spine and cut her off for these 2 reasons. Rest assured, if she felt strongly enough about you, she would never entertain her fathers idea. Perhaps she is so the gravy train does not get cut off?

[TheBrentmeister]

Assuming you're not a troll - She broke up with you, man. All the crap she comes out with to justify her reason is irrelevant information and is probably just her way of easing away without you hating her.

You should have walked away the moment she said "introducing wealthy guys to bring lots of business and support her pianist career" but instead you plead with her to fix things? Gooby pls.

What you do now is complete no contact and start moving on with your life.

[shawn8888]

Have a spine and cut her off for these 2 reasons. Rest assured, if she felt strongly enough about you, she would never entertain her fathers idea. Perhaps she is so the gravy train does not get cut off?

Thx so much replying.

So you mean i should move on and forget about her?

I have again implemented the no contact as she said she needs space and today is the 6th day of NC, how long shall i do the NC and then contact her again?

We were really so perfect match and really want to rekindle and safe our relationship.

[shawn8888]

Assuming you're not a troll - She broke up with you, man. All the crap she comes out with to justify her reason is irrelevant information and is probably just her way of easing away without you hating her.

You should have walked away the moment she said "introducing wealthy guys to bring lots of business and support her pianist career" but instead you plead with her to fix things? Gooby pls.

What you do now is complete no contact and start moving on with your life.

So you mean i should move on and forget about her?

I have again implemented the no contact as she said she needs space and today is the 6th day of NC, how long shall i do the NC and then contact her again?

We were really so perfect match and really want to rekindle and safe our relationship.

She also really loves me but she is stuck in this **** of hers, may be she is dating the rich guys and once she found one that is willing to provide her the finances she needs and will leave me for good?

As i sometimes think if a girl ask for space there can be only 3 options:

she is dating other guys and one she is settled with one of them she will leave me for good.
She is thinking of our relationship to make fix things
She needs space so that both of our feelings will fade away naturally and will give up.

Thanks

[TheBrentmeister]

So you mean i should move on and forget about her?

I have again implemented the no contact as she said she needs space and today is the 6th day of NC, how long shall i do the NC and then contact her again?

We were really so perfect match and really want to rekindle and safe our relationship.

She also really loves me but she is stuck in this **** of hers, may be she is dating the rich guys and once she found one that is willing to provide her the finances she needs and will leave me for good?

As i sometimes think if a girl ask for space there can be only 3 options:

she is dating other guys and one she is settled with one of them she will leave me for good.
She is thinking of our relationship to make fix things
She needs space so that both of our feelings will fade away naturally and will give up.

Thanks

My ex said the same thing about needing space, wanting a break etc etc. It's clichéd stuff. Turns out she had found someone else.

In terms of contacting her again - you don't. Like I said before, she is the one who ended it. She is the one who said "I might date a rich guy" TO YOUR FACE. I understand how you feel right now, but she disrespected the fuk out of you, so now you need to show her that you're a MAN who won't let one female dictate the happiness of his life, because right now I'm getting the impression that she knows you long for her. She probably thrives off that notion. Try to focus on yourself from now on.

No contact - she will soon go insane, trust me.

[shawn8888]

My ex said the same thing about needing space, wanting a break etc etc. It's clichéd stuff. Turns out she had found someone else.

In terms of contacting her again - you don't. Like I said before, she is the one who ended it. She is the one who said "I might date a rich guy" TO YOUR FACE. I understand how you feel right now, but she disrespected the fuk out of you, so now you need to show her that you're a MAN who won't let one female dictate the happiness of his life, because right now I'm getting the impression that she knows you long for her. She probably thrives off that notion. Try to focus on yourself from now on.

No contact - she will soon go insane, trust me.

Yes, I agree with you that she is being influenced by her parents and she is not decisive.

So you mean I should place the no contact indefinitely until she contacts me?

Today is the 6th day of no contact or shall I try to contact her after 2 weeks or after a month?

As last time i implemented the no contact and on the 8th day she texted me :

i miss you a lot and our memories keep "replay" in my head,you are such a beautiful and kind person,all i wanna say is sorry....my words are so hurtful and devil,you really dont deserve it and i am so guilty for what i have said to you. You are right i dont think i can find a man like you and love me as you do. You are too perfect and deserve a better person. I am so sorry and hope you doing good.

Then i let her in my life, she always came over to my place for 1 week from the 15-20th May, everytime having sex and then left me after this week saying she needs space, i was thinking WTF i did wrong, may be i gave her to much dick...

[pedrosgg]

bro, move on with your life, but if you want keep banging her (careful)

[IronBulk]

She needs to grow up. If she really loved you she would not treat you like that and you would always be priority, including over her dad.

Go no contact, you deserve better.

[shawn8888]

bro, move on with your life, but if you want keep banging her (careful)

what you mean by be careful if i have sex with her?

Sorry not quite get this.

[shawn8888]

She needs to grow up. If she really loved you she would not treat you like that and you would always be priority, including over her dad.

Go no contact, you deserve better.

So you mean I should place the no contact indefinitely until she contacts me?

Today is the 6th day of no contact or shall I try to contact her after 2 weeks or after a month?

[sardis3207]

Have a spine and cut her off for these 2 reasons. Rest assured, if she felt strongly enough about you, she would never entertain her fathers idea. Perhaps she is so the gravy train does not get cut off?

This

[shawn8888]

This

Sorry i dont understand this line >> Perhaps she is so the gravy train does not get cut off?

[write2staceyz]

This is really sad story =(

I am really sorry you go through this.

She is being quite dramatic. The only reason I can think of as being female maybe her period is coming soon. I know it is lame reason for girls. But it happens sometime.

She seems confused making decision between money and love.

A few girls go for guys for money. It is very sad, isn't it? But it is true.

You cannot save this relationship unless you are rich. I am sorry to say this. It looks like you need to end this relationship by no choice. I know it hurts a lot.

By the way, please don't let this experience ruin your perception on women. Though some girls do that, not all girls do that.

[IronBulk]

So you mean I should place the no contact indefinitely until she contacts me?

Today is the 6th day of no contact or shall I try to contact her after 2 weeks or after a month?

Never contact her again. She is immature and heavily swayed by the opinions and influence of other people and she is playing with your emotions.

No contact for life. Get rid of her and find someone who values you because it's obvious she does not, or she would not be doing this to you.

[Nedo]

she said she needs space and today is the 6th day of NC, how long shall i do the NC and then contact her again?

She is dating these rich guys already 100%. Nothing you do will salvage this now bro. The ultimate revenge is for you to respect yourself and go completely ghost/NC even if she messages you or says "I want you back". You wasting your time otherwise. She is useless anyway, why do you want that? You going to have her fam dictating your relationship too? Her family would never accept you either and sound like utter POS. Money usually only settles for money when the girl comes from money. Because she can, fact of life.

[cinemaxima]

first, good job coming to the misc for help.

Do not do anything that will ruin your reputation. If you are about to do something, sleep on it, then sleep on it again, then talk about it to the misc, etc.

Don't act out emotionally like a child and a woman.

"Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men" -Vito Corleone.





second, this girl no longer respects and loves you. if she did, she would never do anything that could risk breaking the relationship up, making you lose trust in her, etc.

she wants to move on.

she is giving you excuses, but she wants to move on and explore other options.

her parents may be encouraging it, but she is believing what they are saying. What they are saying is this "daughter you have too much going for you to settle for OP".

she is bailing on you, like you are a sinking ship. she ain't putting in the effort to save the ship, save the crew, call S.O.S. In her mind, she's like fuk dat, I gotta save myself. She jumps ship and leaves. She is content with watching you flounder and sink alone as she rides another man's (another richer man's) yatch.

this is nature of women when they no longer care about you.





third, feel these emotions out in private, talk to your close and trusted family and or anonymous online friends (e.g. the misc) and then NC her.

you no longer trust her.

do not talk to her about her sex life.

do not converse with her about her new men in her life.

move on OP.

do not try to psychoanalyze her, because she isn't doing that for you! She doesn't give a chit about you.

use all that energy to better your mind, body and find a better woman who will not bail on you for new coock and money.

[shawn8888]

This is really sad story =(

I am really sorry you go through this.

She is being quite dramatic. The only reason I can think of as being female maybe her period is coming soon. I know it is lame reason for girls. But it happens sometime.

She seems confused making decision between money and love.

A few girls go for guys for money. It is very sad, isn't it? But it is true.

You cannot save this relationship unless you are rich. I am sorry to say this. It looks like you need to end this relationship by no choice. I know it hurts a lot.

By the way, please don't let this experience ruin your perception on women. Though some girls do that, not all girls do that.

Hi, thx for your feedback.

To be honest i know her heart loves me but she is stuck in a situation that she has no choice to give up the 4.5 yrs of love we had for money, this is so so wrong.

I told her :

Dont marry a rich man,
Marry a good man.

He will spend his life trying to keep you happy.
No rich man can buy that.

[shawn8888]

Never contact her again. She is immature and heavily swayed by the opinions and influence of other people and she is playing with your emotions.

No contact for life. Get rid of her and find someone who values you because it's obvious she does not, or she would not be doing this to you.

Yes i totally agree with you, she is so immature giving up love for money.

[shawn8888]

She is dating these rich guys already 100%. Nothing you do will salvage this now bro. The ultimate revenge is for you to respect yourself and go completely ghost/NC even if she messages you or says "I want you back". You wasting your time otherwise. She is useless anyway, why do you want that? You going to have her fam dictating your relationship too? Her family would never accept you either and sound like utter POS. Money usually only settles for money when the girl comes from money. Because she can, fact of life.

Yes, thats what i think as well, she needs space to date these rich guys so that i done bother her when she is with them.

[shawn8888]

first, good job coming to the misc for help.

Do not do anything that will ruin your reputation. If you are about to do something, sleep on it, then sleep on it again, then talk about it to the misc, etc.

Don't act out emotionally like a child and a woman.

"Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men" -Vito Corleone.





second, this girl no longer respects and loves you. if she did, she would never do anything that could risk breaking the relationship up, making you lose trust in her, etc.

she wants to move on.

she is giving you excuses, but she wants to move on and explore other options.

her parents may be encouraging it, but she is believing what they are saying. What they are saying is this "daughter you have too much going for you to settle for OP".

she is bailing on you, like you are a sinking ship. she ain't putting in the effort to save the ship, save the crew, call S.O.S. In her mind, she's like fuk dat, I gotta save myself. She jumps ship and leaves. She is content with watching you flounder and sink alone as she rides another man's (another richer man's) yatch.

this is nature of women when they no longer care about you.





third, feel these emotions out in private, talk to your close and trusted family and or anonymous online friends (e.g. the misc) and then NC her.

you no longer trust her.

do not talk to her about her sex life.

do not converse with her about her new men in her life.

move on OP.

do not try to psychoanalyze her, because she isn't doing that for you! She doesn't give a chit about you.

use all that energy to better your mind, body and find a better woman who will not bail on you for new coock and money.

Hi cinemaxima,

Your words are so hard to take in, its not you are rude but it hit my heart with the truth you just said, you are right but my heart is not taking it, yes i love her so damn much but she is not.

Its so hard to move on, been 2 months now but i still miss her, i am not sure if she thinks of me or misses me as well.

But anyways thanks so much for your advice, i really appreciate it.

[supersuk]

dont worry, she only held hands with Chang Thunderwang.

Is this your first breakup?
What you're feeling and what the girl says is standard. You guys are no special snowflake.

I can tell you from experience, the best course of action is NC for life. It doesn't really matter why she is doing anything at all anymore. You may never know, you may find out in time but after a good period of time it wont matter at tall. Find some fun productive hobby to dedicate all your time to. Re-direct your addiction of her to something productive. Go move on with your life and refocus the negative energy into something productive. Slay some other bishes if you have options.

Feel what you have to feel, but control your actions. Dont act like a beta cuck's wet dream.

[shawn8888]

dont worry, she only held hands with Chang Thunderwang.

Is this your first breakup?
What you're feeling and what the girl says is standard. You guys are no special snowflake.

I can tell you from experience, the best course of action is NC for life. It doesn't really matter why she is doing anything at all anymore. You may never know, you may find out in time but after a good period of time it wont matter at tall. Find some fun productive hobby to dedicate all your time to. Re-direct your addiction of her to something productive. Go move on with your life and refocus the negative energy into something productive. Slay some other bishes if you have options.

Feel what you have to feel, but control your actions. Dont act like a beta cuck's wet dream.

Yes this is our first break up in 4.5 yrs, we had a wonderful time together we were so perfect as a couple but her parents pushed her to take action against her heart.

I know she still loves and misses me but she is not taking any action to fix this.

Its been 7 days of NC, its really so damn hard to take in, i am going through so much pain and missing her not sure if she is going through the same.

[NukYavlen]

Remind yourself that you're a man and go no contact for life. Its over, dont try to save this cause its done. Move on and find someone that actually loves you. She isnt special no matter what you think. Theres thousands other girls that could be the "one".

[shawn8888]

Remind yourself that you're a man and go no contact for life. Its over, dont try to save this cause its done. Move on and find someone that actually loves you. She isnt special no matter what you think. Theres thousands other girls that could be the "one".

Hi NukYavlen,

Yes you are so right, there are many fish in the sea but it took me few years to find this perfect girl and it ended up in this way.

I am so afraid to date anymore i feel like staying my life as single coz i don't want to be hurt again, i dont trust women anymore even if i get a girl i wont love her to the fullest as i don't want to get hurt again i need to protect myself and my heart.

[NukYavlen]

Hi NukYavlen,

Yes you are so right, there are many fish in the sea but it took me few years to find this perfect girl and it ended up in this way.

I am so afraid to date anymore i feel like staying my life as single coz i don't want to be hurt again, i dont trust women anymore even if i get a girl i wont love her to the fullest as i don't want to get hurt again i need to protect myself and my heart.

That's normal. We all sooner or later go through that. Don't go around trying to find the love of your life, just find a girl that you can have fun with and enjoy being with her. For everything else just let time to fix everything.

[IWillRunYouOver]

Assuming you're not a troll - She broke up with you, man. All the crap she comes out with to justify her reason is irrelevant information and is probably just her way of easing away without you hating her.

^This. She's making up excuses because it's hard to break up with someone and it's hard to have someone hate you. It takes 2 weeks to get over someone, don't call her, text her, drive by her house, look at your old messages/pictures. Nothing. Everytime you let yourself be hurt by looking at the pictures, begging her to take you back exc. you're resetting the 2 week clock.

It hurts, it's supposed to hurt. Don't undermine your own experience by telling yourself it shouldn't hurt and not letting yourself feel all the raw emotions of losing someone you loved. Go no contact with the understanding this is to move on, not to manipulate her into coming back. GL OP

[BetaBoy4life]

Stop talking to her. She's using you for sex and someone to talk to. She's a selfish sloot who only has her own interest at mind.

[MiscInformed]

Thx so much replying.

So you mean i should move on and forget about her?

I have again implemented the no contact as she said she needs space and today is the 6th day of NC, how long shall i do the NC and then contact her again?

We were really so perfect match and really want to rekindle and safe our relationship.

Never.

NC is for YOU to get over your feelings for her. You can't do that if you are still talking to/texting her or viewing her social media. Cut her completely out of your life and move on. If she circles back and tries contacting you in a couple of weeks or months "just to see how you're doing", remember it's just breadcrumbs. She wants to know that you are still hung up on her. It's an ego boost for her. You do not even consider talking to her until you no longer have feelings, at which point you'll probably laugh at her breadcrumb texts and just delete them anyway.

[KingDanny22]

Money reasons is not the real reasons she left you, pretty sure she was already cheating on you and the "her father introducing her to rich guys" is a another bs lie and I'm sure she banged those other guys as well, stop trying to justify her chit in your mind and move on from the sloot