anger issues (serious)

[flexap00]

I use to have a real bad anger management issue growing up (jr high / high school) seriously if it was not for art / wrestling and the gym I am certain I would have killed someone or myself eventually.

As I gotten older the anger sort of died down, within the last few years I would say I gotten very zen like until very recently within the past few weeks. The gym is still my outlet for aggression but I just get annoyed vs anger for the most part now days however within the last few weeks I had relapse of very bad intentions and anger issues......I can feel something within me building.

I recognize the anger and I am catching it early before it develops into full blown rage. I think that I am mature enough to not do anything stupid but it still is eating away at me.
Unlike before I do not enjoy the feeling of anger anymore, it use to give me a false sense of strength / bravado, it fed my ego.....now I feel almost like it's prisoner, I don't like it, I don't want it.

What do you guys do when you get angry (serious).....or rather what do you guys do to disperse it, screaming, hitting, yelling and fighting only fuels it.....I'm trying to meditate through it and seperate myself from it (being the witness).......what works for you?

[FlexinMike]

Well if I feel I am getting angry about something(rarely anymore) I take a break from it or the individual(s)who are irritating me. I always take a deep breath and think before I speak. When I was younger I had an anger issue but it has all but diappeared as I have gotten older. I think you should find hobbies that relax you besides the gym since you cannot be in the gym 24/7. You may need to talk to someone who specials in anger management. Nothing good comes from having an emotional outburst.

[...Kennedy]

When I get angry, I control it and let it settle down before it becomes a problem. Don't know what else to tell you- I think temper is something we allow ourselves to have, to a degree. Controlling it is part of socialization and maturing, if you still have issues with this at 35 or older, it's because you're letting it become an issue. Avoid what makes you angry, if you can.

[flexap00]

I would love to avoid whatever is making me angry, but part of it is that it's the people whom I have to see everyday at work........yes I do agree that it is something we allow and that is something I have to work on

[ironwill2008]

I would love to avoid whatever is making me angry, but part of it is that it's the people whom I have to see everyday at work........yes I do agree that it is something we allow and that is something I have to work on

For the rest of your life, at one time or another you'll have to deal with asshats. I usually just walk away from them; I can choose to let them upset me, or not upset me. Don't really know what else to tell you, other than it's up to you whether or not you have a good day.

[bodyhard]

When you feel your anger creeping up on you, go to a quiet place, take deep breaths, as deep as you can and release them extremely slow. Breathe in the positive, release the negative, do the gestures with your arms, bring the arms in towards your chest, when breathing in and extend the arms straight out in front of you when breathing out. Do this as many times as you need and you will feel the anger subsiding. Then slowly relax your entire body. Imaging every muscle collapsing and becoming droopy or like a rubber band being release after it has been stretched but in a slow controlled movement. Before you go back to the place that initiated the anger go for a walk, a drive is possible, fresh air does wonders.

[baco_bacon]

I have semi anger issues myself, and I'm only 14. Normally I try to argue the matter, but that usually makes me more mad! So just be calm about any arguments with parents/friends etc... eat healthy (always makes you feel good), go on long runs/walks by yourself. Listen to calm music, and sit around and read a good book!

Sorry if I wasn't much help... but good luck!

[flexap00]

For the rest of your life, at one time or another you'll have to deal with asshats. I usually just walk away from them; I can choose to let them upset me, or not upset me. Don't really know what else to tell you, other than it's up to you whether or not you have a good day.

thank you for the reminder! .......I have choices tattoo on my wrist as a reminder of just that and I had actually forgotten........geesh!

[Laith]

I play drums homie

[JonnyStead]

The only advice I can give you is that I dont think you can 'burn anger off' you know? I used to think you could 'let it out' with a punch bag or the gym but I find it just keeps building. So, with that in mind I would recommend getting some advice on proven anger management techniques and learning those. Just my view - good luck.

[Mucmor]

Remember that its you choice, and don't let the bastards grind you down.

[JolietKev]

I pray about it and try to keep things in perspective to begin with. When my wife makes me angry I walk away. After a few years, I learned that I could not win anyway so why bother. "Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger" say and then repeat over and over.

[THUNDERGOD2000]

Have you ever gone to have an evaluation flex? I had the same problems growing up and even untill a few years ago. But I did go to a doctor about it. I had no idea what was wrong with me until I found out that heavy depression, bi- polar and varied schizophrenia runs in my family. Everbody always said it was because I was young or because I was a drunken Irishman when I got older.

But this can be very serious. Do any of those disorders run in your family history? It got so bad with me, that in my psycotherapy, I actually started referring to my other half as "him". I was a total different person. I would get so enraged that I would black out and pass out. Many times I awoke on the floor or a friends couch not knowing what the hell happened. My doctor put me on medicine and I feel great now. I was also married to the worst female possible. Alot has to do with your surroundings. But I don't want to sound like I'm preaching to you. All I can say is- Surround yourself with positive energy, and positive things happen for you.

[kgartin]

I pray about it and try to keep things in perspective to begin with. When my wife makes me angry I walk away. After a few years, I learned that I could not win anyway so why bother. "Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger" say and then repeat over and over.

I've found that's the only real way to deal with it...

[pp301]

yeah im angry...but in 10years if what im angry about isnt going to affect me...leave it and move on...if it is going to affect me in 10years calm down and sort it out properly cus if i make the stupid decision now cus im angry, im going to be ****ed

[Whiskeyjack]

The only thing that's ever worked for me is some kind of distance exercise: long walks, bike rides, or swims, but especially the walks. I can start out on a walk full of rage - ready to chew aluminum - but by the time an hour or so is over of fast, hard walking in the fresh air, I've worked it out and I'm human again. It works every time.

[thomasale]

Have you ever gone to have an evaluation flex? I had the same problems growing up and even untill a few years ago. But I did go to a doctor about it. I had no idea what was wrong with me until I found out that heavy depression, bi- polar and varied schizophrenia runs in my family. Everbody always said it was because I was young or because I was a drunken Irishman when I got older.

But this can be very serious. Do any of those disorders run in your family history? It got so bad with me, that in my psycotherapy, I actually started referring to my other half as "him". I was a total different person. I would get so enraged that I would black out and pass out. Many times I awoke on the floor or a friends couch not knowing what the hell happened. My doctor put me on medicine and I feel great now. I was also married to the worst female possible. Alot has to do with your surroundings. But I don't want to sound like I'm preaching to you. All I can say is- Surround yourself with positive energy, and positive things happen for you.

ditto this...I used to laugh cause I was born a gemini and I definitely was twins!!!Went on meds 10 years ago and EVERYBODY has lived happily ever after. I went off them about 4 summers ago and the beast came right back. I have no side effects to what I am taking it just takes away some of the intensity. BTW I never blacked out from it and I was VERY lucky in the love department. 33yrs Grreeeattt wife!

[dcamnc]

The only thing that's ever worked for me is some kind of distance exercise: long walks, bike rides, or swims, but especially the walks. I can start out on a walk full of rage - ready to chew aluminum - but by the time an hour or so is over of fast, hard walking in the fresh air, I've worked it out and I'm human again. It works every time.

Yep, a walk works wonders

[Defiant1]

I use to have a real bad anger management issue growing up (jr high / high school) seriously if it was not for art / wrestling and the gym I am certain I would have killed someone or myself eventually.

As I gotten older the anger sort of died down, within the last few years I would say I gotten very zen like until very recently within the past few weeks. The gym is still my outlet for aggression but I just get annoyed vs anger for the most part now days however within the last few weeks I had relapse of very bad intentions and anger issues......I can feel something within me building.

I recognize the anger and I am catching it early before it develops into full blown rage. I think that I am mature enough to not do anything stupid but it still is eating away at me.
Unlike before I do not enjoy the feeling of anger anymore, it use to give me a false sense of strength / bravado, it fed my ego.....now I feel almost like it's prisoner, I don't like it, I don't want it.

What do you guys do when you get angry (serious).....or rather what do you guys do to disperse it, screaming, hitting, yelling and fighting only fuels it.....I'm trying to meditate through it and seperate myself from it (being the witness).......what works for you?

What works for me:

Decide whether the action/consequences ratio is worth it. If it isn't (which it almost never is), then worrying about it for 1 second more is not worth it at all.

From introspection, research and observation, most anger stems from a combination of an event AND your perception of the implications of that event. You can control the latter.

Example:

A guy cuts you off blatantly in his car.


now...


An old lady cuts you off blatantly in her car.

The risk to you is the same in both cases, so the "event" anger should be the same...but for most of us guys it is not. That is the "implications" part.

IMO.

[x-trainer ben]

I use to have a real bad anger management issue growing up (jr high / high school) seriously if it was not for art / wrestling and the gym I am certain I would have killed someone or myself eventually.

As I gotten older the anger sort of died down, within the last few years I would say I gotten very zen like until very recently within the past few weeks. The gym is still my outlet for aggression but I just get annoyed vs anger for the most part now days however within the last few weeks I had relapse of very bad intentions and anger issues......I can feel something within me building.

I recognize the anger and I am catching it early before it develops into full blown rage. I think that I am mature enough to not do anything stupid but it still is eating away at me.
Unlike before I do not enjoy the feeling of anger anymore, it use to give me a false sense of strength / bravado, it fed my ego.....now I feel almost like it's prisoner, I don't like it, I don't want it.

What do you guys do when you get angry (serious).....or rather what do you guys do to disperse it, screaming, hitting, yelling and fighting only fuels it.....I'm trying to meditate through it and seperate myself from it (being the witness).......what works for you?

Honestly, go for a long run or work out until i am tired. I usually have figured out the solution to the issue during the exercise time frame. Then i go solve the issue with the "new" idea.

[jad316]

40 mg of celexa solved all of my anger problems plus a few I didn't have.

[blastertech70]

No doubt that age and experience is the best teacher when it comes to anger and how to control your emotions and mental health. As a much younger man my ability not to control and manage my anger got me in to many situations I wish now I could have changed.

My opinion is that an "anger management" class may help you now because you reconize yourself that you may have some issues and want to change them.

Knowing the "triggers" of anger and recognizing them before they become a problem is the key ticket. Some people have no experience in "middle ground" and go from angry and strait to rage. Many call the "quick tempered" but is actually a misunderstanding and that there is a few other steps between anger and rage called accertiveness.

Personally I take a morning (lite dose) deppression med that for me I takes the edge off and makes a world of diff for me. I think it gives me that "time and instant" that I need to be able to look past something small that might otherwise upset me.

Mental health will teach you to manage and create a file of mental notes and reminders for diff situation. Example: the words and saying to yourself " will this really effect me tomarrow" or something like " I just have to consider the source" these are saying, statement and reminder that you create to combat angery thoughts and situations.

hope this helps

[GreenWave1]

I have long battled rage issues. I have taken a lot of different steps to help maintain a low rage state. Prayer, less caffeine, less sugar, more consistent sleep, yoga, and of course, weight lifting. When it really kicks in, I use prayer and breathing to get me out of the immediate rage. If possible, I remove myself from the situation that is triggering me.