Anyone else bad at dirty talk during or before sex?

[Dontoewsmebro]

Met up with a tinder sloot couple yrs ago, and she told me to talk dirty to her...now I suck at dirty talk I'm just trying to pleasure you and bust a nut we can do the porn sounds "Oh yeah do me!" "fuk you're so hot" but then I just feel like I'm in a porno.


Anyways, she told me when I was smashing her to talk dirty to her, and I told her "Yeah you like that you fukking retard???"

She replied "ummm..." Then went silent a bit til I finished then we sat there awkwardly....then she got up from the bed, and said "Imma go it was fun"


For reference it was kinda like this with the dirty talk.....before the retard part.

[northernlights7]

Nothing ruins sex faster than bad dirty talk.

It's not a complicated thing to pull off effectively, either. People fukk up dirty talk by putting too much thought into it. Or being immature about it altogether, not going with the flow, try-hard bs, etc.

On a related note, one time I saw some porno where a guy dressed as Batman wss banging a chick dressed as Catwoman. The dude was aggressively dirty talking while mimicking the Christian Bale Batman voice and said something along the lines of "RAAAAAAAAH!!!! YeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!! RoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAH!!!! YEAH, TAKE THOSE BAT BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!!!!". Fkn laughed my asss off when he dropped the "Bat balls" line.

[cjr169]

Just shout you’re the man now dog in your best Sean Connery voice

[Ratfish]

I never make a sound until I coom, then i start giggling

They get nervous and ask me why I'm laughing and i say, "joke's on you"

srs

[Workout4ever]

Yeah you like that you fukking retard???


repped

[brahnotah]

In the immortal words of random samurai guy from the last samurai, "too many mind. No mind."

[IlChosenOne]

Call random girls “mommy” in bed crew

[Sprykee907]

im a virgin

[Goat_187]

Neanderthal moans crew checking in. They fluctuate in frequency, intensity, and volume subconsciously depending on how close I am to bust.

Pro-tip: When she is down on your cock you can use audible moans to encourage and communicate what she is doing that you prefffer right there in real-time, especially when is a sloot you just started smashing. Too many times I heard inexperienced bruhs go full-on degenerate and try to replicate the porn vid they have fap to only for the girl to act negatively because even with a cock in their mouth they want some decency. If you found a degenerate girl like you then its doesn't apply and you'll know what she likes way before the cock is in her mouth.

[cklol]

Not me, but an old friend of mine.

Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually.

He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk, and apparently likes to be objectified, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time.

Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggystyle, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not ****ing requesting, but demanding it.

He comes up with: "Yeah...you like that, you ****ing retard?"

He's never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now.

[infinityplus1]

Suck my fkn dicc you fkn retard...

[Dontoewsmebro]

Next time I'll try it.

[VSVP84]

lmao I want to beleaf.

Just verbalize what is happening and tell her she likes it. "You like how my.... you like how I... "

If she gets quiet upshift a gear or two.

[MiamiLife305]

you like that you fuking retard OP?

huh? you like it?

on a serious note, i dont dirty talk. I just say "fuuckkkk" and moan whenever it feels good.

[Redfish225]

When I was a youngster I knew this chic that liked me calling her by her sisters name. Talk about a freak, good Lawd.

[Brosnbroccoli]

Master of dirty talk checking in and let me tell you, OP, your dirty talk was first class.

Next time, try to gauge the girl better, depending on how she is you might want to use “fukken mongoloid”, “fukken spastic”, or “fukken brainless bish” instead of “fukken retard”.

[zknarc]

The bedroom isn't the misc ffs

[BHall1991]

you like that you fuking retard OP?

huh? you like it?

on a serious note, i dont dirty talk. I just say "fuuckkkk" and moan whenever it feels good.

Im sure he likes that.

[notbadnotbrad]

I’m awful at it lmao

I find it so awkward

Girls have told me I text like their grandpa

I’m not even good at escalating irl

Once I fuked this girl but prior she was like why aren’t you touching me and then I did and she was like it’s about time

[AlwaysFocus]

I always cringe when they tell you to do it. I dont want to be "forced" to do anything.

[SuperHercules]

I've never done it, i sees retarded and unnecessary

Maybe it's a way for ugly people to take attention away from the visual aspect of sex

[lightsarefallin]

Yeah you like that you fukking retard???

[Robmnrd]

Yeah you like that you fukking retard???

Actually giggled at this thread.

Just like the old days on the Misc.

[SoutheastBeast1]

It feels awkward to me. It's not really my thing. I'd rather just silently f*ck them aggressively and they usually get the point.

[Smithers115]

I ****ing love dirty talk, but jesus christ op you need to practice

slut, whore, dirt skank, baby girl, anything but retard lmfao

[lightsarefallin]

Actually giggled at this thread.

Just like the old days on the Misc.

burst out laughing on my end. You're right, this has a very OG misc vibe to it

[ezmac31]

It’s only difficult if you overthink it srs

[TomPaine]

Had one that would randomly call me Daddy, like f me harder Daddy... threw me off the first time.

Lol that you called her a retard. She probably thinks that is a banned word now with all the SJW crap. Just tell her to keep going and you will make her start sounding / screaming like one.

[TheAdlerian]

I refuse to do any kind dirty talk, choking, or anything like that.

Girls who request that stuff want you to become an abuser because that's how they view men.

I'm not doing any of that.

[TheAdlerian]

Hey Adlerian I watch 1 GB porn like you I need help what would you say?


You seem like a guy that watches a lot of porn then says "ASK"

Thanks for the advice

Moronic.