the story of how a miscer lost virginity to an escort

[xLMQ]

So I was a 21 year old virgin, been toying around with the idea of getting an escort for a while, but that urge usually goes away after jerking off, but not today! 2 jerk off sessions later I find myself still wanting to **** an actual girl and I decide TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT! So I start looking on backpage for the hottest girl and call her about her rates, we end up agreeing to $100 for a half hour and an $50 more for an additional half hour if I want it(more on this later) so I go to the nearest 24 hour store and buy some condoms.

I drive 30 minutes to this Holiday Inn and finally see this girl, and somehow she is hotter in person(7/10 misc standards face, 8.5/10 body) and shes dressed in some nice lingerie and I put the $100 down on the table and we get started.

She starts massaging me for like 10 minutes asking me about myself if I'm a virgin blah blah, I tell her I'm a virgin and shes like OMG how are you a virgin you are so tall (i'm 6'4). This is where things get kinda weird, periodically shes looking at the TV(Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is on) and she goes "I love Will Ferrell" so I just kinda go heh yeah... then she asks me if I was nervous it wasn't going to be her, so I say yeah I heard a lot of time times there are fake pictures etc and she says "yeah I've heard of girls luring guys into the room and they get kidnapped.." Yeah, that is exactly what I want to be thinking about right now... so I say oh yeah? thats ****ed up, to which she replies "yeah, have you heard of the craigslist killer? some guys lured people into thinking they were escorts and then killing them" WHAT THE ****? THIS IS THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION YOU CHOOSE WHILE YOU ARE JERKING ME OFF?

So anyway, after the massage shes like are you ready? I nod and she puts a condom on me and starts sucking me off which was alright, but can't really feel **** captain. After about 5 minutes of her blowing me she gets on top of me and starts riding me and kissing me, which was pretty coo, was just rly a warm feeling and did not feel like bags of sand, didn't really feel like anything to be honest, but somehow I cum in about a minute even though I'm not really feeling anything(wtf?) and she wipes me off whatever asks me if it I enjoyed myself, I say yeah etc blah blah. After a few minutes of her having me finger her shes like so do you want the other 30 minutes? I say I don't know I've got like 15 minutes left don't I? She just kinda ignores me and calls someone on her phone, says "yeah I don't think he wants the 30 minutes... yeah I know... yea hes still here" at this point I'm like holy **** alright guess we are getting 30 more minutes.. so I pay her the rest of the money and she uses the bathroom and the comes back out says "do you want to eat my pussy?" In my head I'm like nah bro i'm sweet but for some stupid ****ing reason I say "Yeah, sure(son...)" so I spend the next 15 minutes eating out and fingering this escort all while thinking of the possible STDs I'm going to contract from eating this girl out. After that she puts another condom on me and starts sucking me off again while I finger her (I enjoyed the covered BJ more than the covered ****ing for some reason) and then after a few minutes of that she gets on top of me again and starts riding me, I don't cum instantly this time and after a few minutes of this she tells me to get on top of her and I finish a few minutes after that.

Now my time is up with her, she asks me if I plan on seeing her again, I say yeah definitely when are you available again (still paranoid about getting murdered here) and I get dressed and ready to leave, she tells me to wait a second while she gets dressed, so I do and as I'm walking to the door her phone rings she answers it and shes like "yeah we just finished... yeah hes still here... well hurry up!" so at this point I say thanks bye she gives me a kiss I peace the **** out as fast as I can speed out of the parking lot hoping whoever she was on the phone with doesn't murder me, go to the nearest gas station and buy a bottle of mouthwash and use the whole bottle hoping to not get the gift that keeps on giving.

Overall I'm glad I finally hired an escort so the though of hiring one doesn't consume my thoughts every time I'm horny but advice to other miscer virgins unless its starting to consume your thoughts like it was mine is save your money, buy a fleshlight. Feels 100 times better dead fukin srs.

cliffs:
lost virginity to will ferrell
buy a fleshlight
strong 1rd post

[macrocrunch]

lol

[Sqwat]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[composedpocket]

you paid for a blowjob with your dink wrapped up

wata way to waste 100 bucks

[michaelproject]

1st post.

Not sure if cereal.

[xLMQ]

1st post.

Not sure if cereal.

supr fukin cereal

[TouchMeBrah]

[Griffz]

Sometimes I think to myself miscers can't get any more pathetic..

And then I open this thread













In

[MareeWanna]

fukking LOL

[b1gb1lly]

i just got new glasses but i still cant see the pics, p sure the problem is on ur end op

[tdirago]

thats how it will always feel with a condom, ****ing ****.

To me using a condomn isnt really having sex because im not enjoying it.

[xLMQ]

[img]i minus com/io02SNZLxGX1u.gif[/img]

embed for me brah
imgur com/aBiI56v.png
imgur com/B8HJnvK.jpg
imgur com/xWj8yna.jpg

[b1gb1lly]

embed for me brah
imgur com/aBiI56v.png
imgur com/B8HJnvK.jpg
imgur com/xWj8yna.jpg

[YesPls]

Lmfao golden first post

So how are the herps m8

[VinnyPazRules]

So I was a 21 year old virgin, been toying around with the idea of getting an escort for a while, but that urge usually goes away after jerking off, but not today! 2 jerk off sessions later I find myself still wanting to **** an actual girl and I decide TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT! So I start looking on backpage for the hottest girl and call her about her rates, we end up agreeing to $100 for a half hour and an $50 more for an additional half hour if I want it(more on this later) so I go to the nearest 24 hour store and buy some condoms.

I drive 30 minutes to this Holiday Inn and finally see this girl, and somehow she is hotter in person(7/10 misc standards face, 8.5/10 body) and shes dressed in some nice lingerie and I put the $100 down on the table and we get started.

She starts massaging me for like 10 minutes asking me about myself if I'm a virgin blah blah, I tell her I'm a virgin and shes like OMG how are you a virgin you are so tall (i'm 6'4). This is where things get kinda weird, periodically shes looking at the TV(Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is on) and she goes "I love Will Ferrell" so I just kinda go heh yeah... then she asks me if I was nervous it wasn't going to be her, so I say yeah I heard a lot of time times there are fake pictures etc and she says "yeah I've heard of girls luring guys into the room and they get kidnapped.." Yeah, that is exactly what I want to be thinking about right now... so I say oh yeah? thats ****ed up, to which she replies "yeah, have you heard of the craigslist killer? some guys lured people into thinking they were escorts and then killing them" WHAT THE ****? THIS IS THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION YOU CHOOSE WHILE YOU ARE JERKING ME OFF?

So anyway, after the massage shes like are you ready? I nod and she puts a condom on me and starts sucking me off which was alright, but can't really feel **** captain. After about 5 minutes of her blowing me she gets on top of me and starts riding me and kissing me, which was pretty coo, was just rly a warm feeling and did not feel like bags of sand, didn't really feel like anything to be honest, but somehow I cum in about a minute even though I'm not really feeling anything(wtf?) and she wipes me off whatever asks me if it I enjoyed myself, I say yeah etc blah blah. After a few minutes of her having me finger her shes like so do you want the other 30 minutes? I say I don't know I've got like 15 minutes left don't I? She just kinda ignores me and calls someone on her phone, says "yeah I don't think he wants the 30 minutes... yeah I know... yea hes still here" at this point I'm like holy **** alright guess we are getting 30 more minutes.. so I pay her the rest of the money and she uses the bathroom and the comes back out says "do you want to eat my pussy?" In my head I'm like nah bro i'm sweet but for some stupid ****ing reason I say "Yeah, sure(son...)" so I spend the next 15 minutes eating out and fingering this escort all while thinking of the possible STDs I'm going to contract from eating this girl out. After that she puts another condom on me and starts sucking me off again while I finger her (I enjoyed the covered BJ more than the covered ****ing for some reason) and then after a few minutes of that she gets on top of me again and starts riding me, I don't cum instantly this time and after a few minutes of this she tells me to get on top of her and I finish a few minutes after that.

Now my time is up with her, she asks me if I plan on seeing her again, I say yeah definitely when are you available again (still paranoid about getting murdered here) and I get dressed and ready to leave, she tells me to wait a second while she gets dressed, so I do and as I'm walking to the door her phone rings she answers it and shes like "yeah we just finished... yeah hes still here... well hurry up!" so at this point I say thanks bye she gives me a kiss I peace the **** out as fast as I can speed out of the parking lot hoping whoever she was on the phone with doesn't murder me, go to the nearest gas station and buy a bottle of mouthwash and use the whole bottle hoping to not get the gift that keeps on giving.

Overall I'm glad I finally hired an escort so the though of hiring one doesn't consume my thoughts every time I'm horny but advice to other miscer virgins unless its starting to consume your thoughts like it was mine is save your money, buy a fleshlight. Feels 100 times better dead fukin srs.

cliffs:
lost virginity to will ferrell
buy a fleshlight
strong 1rd post

how are you a virgin you're so tall? hmmm interesting

[xLMQ]

Lmfao golden first post

So how are the herps m8

will let u know in a few days

[DasPhilosopher]

Innnnn

I read the whole thing.


Weird experience.

She was more awkward than. Op.

[21cm]

ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ Sorry, I dropped my Pack bag of Dongers.
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

[Musictrance]

Fleshlight over poverty hooker

[xLMQ]

thats how it will always feel with a condom, ****ing ****.

To me using a condomn isnt really having sex because im not enjoying it.

fuk condoms, didn't really even feel an orgasm kinda feel just kinda knew I was cumming

[VinnyPazRules]

You can practically see the crabs jumping out of her butt in that 3rd pic Also is that a douche bottle on the left and a bag of drugs on the table?

[nextyearsharks]

Lol'd, but eerily reminds me of LVXII's writing style (or whatever his username is, the guy who keeps on making fraud threads and deletes them so he has reps but a low post count)

Still funny story though OP

[YesPls]

Lmfao

Just saw pics...

Goodluck and stay safe OP

Should of bought two bottle of mouth wash

[Nara22]

You ate out a prostitute whose beaver could've been infested with all sorts of disease.

I don't even...

[xLMQ]

You can practically see the crabs jumping out of her butt in that 3rd pic Also is that a douche bottle on the left and a bag of drugs on the table?

pls no

also no idea but i did not see any drugs in room when i was there

[xLMQ]

Lol'd, but eerily reminds me of LVXII's writing style (or whatever his username is, the guy who keeps on making fraud threads and deletes them so he has reps but a low post count)

Still funny story though OP

I wish this was a fraud thread srs then I wouldn't be worried about whatever I contracted from eating out this sloot

[tattygun]

Oh lawd op you just don't dine on hooker tang, das not it.

[xLMQ]

Innnnn

I read the whole thing.


Weird experience.

She was more awkward than. Op.

she rly was somehow, she had some good reviews online so I didn't expect ****ing will ferrell and he randomly eating chips in between blowjobs (dead srs, cool ranch doritos)

[george233]

How were you able to distinguish the fake ads for the real ones?
Don't you think you could have gotten a better one for those $100 bucks?

[manlyladylumps]

It was probably **** because you had wanked twice before it started...