Times You Went Full Retard

[MrGoodcat]

I always find these funny. In this thread, tell everyone about the times you went full retard. I'll start.

• Getting ready to go to morning class
• Finish cereal, have laptop in one hand, gallon milk jug in other
• Put laptop in fridge, walk out door to go to class with milk
• Walk halfway to class, look down
• ...wat

And

• Idly throwing phone up and down watching TV with friend
• Crackhead ceiling fan on highest speed of 95,000 RPM
• "Don't hit the fan, Goodcat..." -Friend
• "I won't, lol" -Me
• Next throw goes too high
• Phone hits fan and fucking EXPLODES into a billion pieces...Sounded like a damn gunshot.
• Room is covered in hot shards of phone.
• Friend is loling hard, fan is Trollface.jpeg

Also

• Work at office in summer.
• Spend all day answering phones with, "Lyon's Group, Choice and Curves !"
• Driving home after 5 hours of doing that.
• Stop at market to get some Orange Juice
• Get pulled over. FFFFFF...
• Officer - "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
• Me - "Lyon's Juice, Choice and Curves !"
• .....
• Officer - "Have you been drinking?"
• WtfJustHappenedToMyBrain.Jpg

And of course

• Looking for my favorite pair of jeans
• Running late for class where the **** are they
• Walk by mirror
• I was wearing them the whole time....
• Directed By M.Night Shyamalan

Share yours. We've all done it.

[buckeye185]

lol'd at those. i cant really remember many specific instances (lots of concussions ftw) but i feel like i'm always searching for stuff that i'm either wearing/is in my pocket/is in my hand

[Dimon999]

Happened just today..

-tripping over a trashcan
-held onto the door handle, not to fall
-handle stayed in my hand and i kept walking
-then saw wat i did and lol'd at myself

good thread idea, OP

[YOUNGJZ]

Goodcat you are a very funny cat!

2days ago .....

* Seen fit bird walkin towards me and several pals.
* Friend rings my phone.
* I try to act cool, Smiling at bird.
* Bird smiles back' keeps walkin towards us.
* I Turn round to walk off on phone.
* Walked into street lamp, facepalmd street lamp.
* Pals lol'd hard. Bish lols hard .... looks at me like Fool.

[Machuka]

at least half the time I eat cereal I intend on putting the cereal in the drisge and the milk on the shelf

[cpdd]

- Eating dinner last night
- Looking for milk
- Finds ketchup
- * Pours ketchup into cup *
- Finds milk
- Pours milk onto food

- Taking a sh!t one day
- Phone in one hand
- Toilet paper in other
- Hand with phone starts to wipe...




















































I come milimetres from anus. I say to myself " I ain't even mad tho "

Blackberry almost went on a cave adventure.

[MrGoodcat]

- Taking a sh!t one day
- Phone in one hand
- Toilet paper in other
- Hand with phone starts to wipe...

I come milimetres from anus. I say to myself " I ain't even mad tho "

Blackberry almost went on a cave adventure.

Read that in class, Lol'd out loud.

Also,

I added a new one of mine to the OP...

[Android18]

• Work at office in summer.
• Spend all day answering phones with, "Lyon's Group, Choice and Curves !"
• Driving home after 5 hours of doing that.
• Stop at market to get some Orange Juice
• Get pulled over. FFFFFF...
• Officer - "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
• Me - "Lyon's Juice, Choice and Curves !"
• .....
• Officer - "Have you been drinking?"
• WtfJustHappenedToMyBrain.Jpg

Share yours. We've all done it.

That one reminds me of

"happy birthday!"
-You too!

/fullsocialretard

[XxmartinixX]

I have done this more than once..
-Phone rings
-Take phone out of case and have conversation
-Realise im holding empty case and am like oh snap i have lost my phone
-Panic
(One time I actually said on the phone "hang on a sec crap I have lost my phone"
-Realisation...Shame


Also getting up to go to the toilet and not turning lights on, walked into door :S

[hughbert]

-woke up to start the day
-grab chapstick. Put chapstick on my armpits
-grab deoderant. Deoderant comes within centimeters of my lips.
-wtfjusthappened

[MistuuhMitch]

5* thread

cant read this thread anymore till after school, lol'ing so hard in studyhall right now everyones giving me weird looks....foreveralone.jpeg

[tetrasarin]

Lol'd at the first one and the cop one. And the last one always happens to me. I look for something and can't find it, only to find out later that it was in an obvious place that I already checked.

feelsbadman.jpg

[HALOBRYAN]

I finish eating my meal and grab some almonds, and remember i need to take some fish oil. i went a head a pop 3 in soft gels and started to chew them. almost lost my lunch they srs taste like ****.

[musclefreak69]

filled up my shaker cup with protein powder. i started to shake it, i realized i forgot to put the top on the cup.

protein went everywhere

[Bajinga]

-Walked into my house looking for tuna
-I saw no tuna so I went and bought some
-Come back to the house look in the plastic bag.
-I bought golden syrup

feelsbadman.jpeg

[catsonfire]

Share end of the cop story, cant leave us hanging like that lol.

[89shaggy]

-was driving home from friends, couldn't find my keys, freaked out for about 10 seconds, realized i was driving, keys were in ignition

-spent two whole days doing that thing where you think of two different words at the same time, and they come out as a combo. was very embarassing at work talking with customers

-was feeling good, decided to head to work early
had my work pants and my heavy coat on
walked in the door and was sitting around in the breakroom for about 5 minutes
realized i had no shirt on under my coat

-just yesterday i had a dream that i was getting a phone call
right as phone started ringing my alarm woke me up and was loud as fuk
freaking out cuz i hate missing calls, got up fast
tripped out of bed, turned alarm off while saying "hold on, alarm's going off"
after alarm was off, looked at phone, no one called me....who was phone? (srs)

[Machuka]

now that i remember

- when i was in high school i drove to school w/o my shoes on.
yes i drive regularly without shoes on.

[Jrdath]

-I was getting ready to take a shower
-took off clothes
-hamper was across from the toilet
-accidentally put clothes in the toilet.

[Dimon999]

^^ this reminded me of another one, but i guess it happened to many of us:

-taking clothes off to take a shower, getting distracted with something and leaving some clothes on

[jake1224]

But then I landed

The air was like

[jam88]

solidthread/10

- cooking eggs with lid on.
- I go to lift the lid
- instead i lift the handle of the pan, and it tilts over completely
- eggs are now cooking directly on stove top

[MrGoodcat]

Needs a bamp.

[TheTwist59]

Needs a bamp.

-So I walk out of a gas station and start walking to my car
-Open up the drivers side door
-Passenger stares blanky at me in shock
-Wrong car lol

[DanielEric]

-was driving home from friends, couldn't find my keys, freaked out for about 10 seconds, realized i was driving, keys were in ignition



-was feeling good, decided to head to work early
had my work pants and my heavy coat on
walked in the door and was sitting around in the breakroom for about 5 minutes
realized i had no shirt on under my coat

Lol, I have done both of these before. Good thing I'm a lifeguard and am not required to wear a shirt. That was back in the fat days though, quite an embarrassing day.

[RyanRev]

- Go into store to buy a pack of gum
- Walk in completely forget wtf im doing
- Buy a rockstar to not look like a dumbass
- Walk outside.. FUKKK!! remember i wanted gum
- Drive to another store and buy gum..

or

When someone approaches you but your not really paying attention you just see their lips move and your like "good, you?" and their like "uhhh what?" and then your like "uhhhh shyt i didnt hear what you said, my bad" laugh it off to not look stupid.

[superstrongboy]

- prepeare a huge ass breakfast which took me like 1 hour
- go to check email for one second
- start doing other **** on bb.com and youtube n ********
-completely forgot about breakfast
-suddenly realize after like 2 hours later that i had to have my breakfast
-facepalm.jpg

[jonathanhef]

This one happens to me probably once a month..


-Arrive at gym
-Hot desk associate says hi, have a good workout
-I reply "you too!"
-Confused look on her face
-"dang it" walk away with head down

[MrGoodcat]

This one might not count because I was really high at the time but...

• Chest day at gym
• Load up bench
• All 45s on one side
• All 35s on the other
• Lift up bar, rockets down one side
• Lying under bar totally off balanced
• wat

Dont go to gym when high.

[superstrongboy]

This one might not count because I was really high at the time but...

• Chest day at gym
• Load up bench
• All 45s on one side
• All 35s on the other
• Lift up bar, rockets down one side
• Lying under bar totally off balanced
• wat

Dont go to gym when high.

bahahahaha lold IRL

your name should be lawlcat