**OFFICIAL U.S. ARMY THREAD** 7th TOUR -Trimming the fat & SideBurns (SB are safe!!!)

[Jayl12345]

Brewing is a little too light on the ABV for me. I distill hard liquor, about 8 feet away from me is roughly 180 gallons of 80 proof spirits. Wanna go for a swim?

WTF is 20/20?

Pshhh, and here I was thinking you're a connoisseur!



And yes, I'd love to go for a swim. I only swim for Harambe tho. I hope that's ok.

that was a weird thing to deal with for the first time. my girl and i had that talk before our first time together, and it kind of freaked me out but i'm glad i got over it. she's so going to be my next wife after i get free of my ex

I know the feels. This chick is messing with my brain.

Da fuk is going on in here?

OFFICIAL U.S. ARMY THREAD 8TH TOUR: Relationships and STDs (STDs aren't safe!)

[Gomer_Pyle]

Hey! Long time no see!

Not much, I'm just 1/4 the way thru a Korea trip...

Nice make sure to bring back a couple joocies to Colorado.

I am slowly navigating my way through school still.

Pshhh, and here I was thinking you're a connoisseur!



And yes, I'd love to go for a swim. I only swim for Harambe tho. I hope that's ok.



I know the feels. This chick is messing with my brain.



OFFICIAL U.S. ARMY THREAD 8TH TOUR: Relationships and STDs (STDs aren't safe!)

http://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/arg/

Be on the lookout for the drug resistant gonorrhea. It'll keep your pecker burning and there ain't no curing!

[pUniCepts]

in after Jay got da aids

[WhiskeyDavid]

How many of you guys have raw dogged sloots. I'm feeling anxious as well and worried about getting std's. Though when I did my PHA last time and got tested I was fine, but still....

Make me feel better fam.

[Gomer_Pyle]

How many of you guys have raw dogged sloots. I'm feeling anxious as well and worried about getting std's. Though when I did my PHA last time and got tested I was fine, but still....

Make me feel better fam.

Well testing is completely free on base, so just call and make an appointment.

[blumpkin415]

We doing this Army thing again?

[WhiskeyDavid]

We doing this Army thing again?

Naww. Tired of this shet. Once I'm out, I'm done. Tired of Shetty leadership, Salty, fat nco's that bark orders without leading from the front, NCO's and officers that only care to pad their ncoer's and oer's. And I'm tired of the group punishment bs. The army is easy, it's just inconvenient and annoying sometimes

It's true what they say. Your chain of command and leadership really can make or break your experience in the Army.

On the other hand, this thread....ya let's do it again.

[Jayl12345]

Do you mean 'We done talking about STDs???'

OK ok. I am. Stupid results won't be back until next week. Leave it to an Army hospital to take a week for what every other hospital can do in a day wtf.

Anyways. Anyone see the Military Times study that FINALLY shows no one supports Hillary?

[colonelcross]

In for Jays STD results!

Side note, I got my hands on the "pre decisional Army gender integration study" results and it's just awful. It reads like a feminist manifesto.

Good news is my refrad finally got signed. I only submitted it May 8th :/

[Sinan09400]

Hi guys: do you know anyone who was dqed for having varicocele?

[Jayl12345]

Hi guys: do you know anyone who was dqed for having varicocele?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varicocele

This?

It's easier to recognize if you scroll down to the second image.
















































































LOL.





I think I was diagnosed with this about a decade ago. Ever had an ultrasound on your balls while you had to remain straight-faced? This guy has. They fixed it tho. Can't see why this would disqualify tho. Never heard of that.


And yes, I'll let you guys know what happens with results.

[schnit]

Ever had an ultrasound on your balls while you had to remain straight-faced? This guy has.

I would have just made a wide grin, start moaning and get all weak in the knees.

[LuvVag]

Heh, just got this in the mail. Last day of IRR I suppose. Would've thought I would've gotten this when I got my dd214 3 years ago but guess not.

Feels god mane.

[Wisdom15]

lol girlfriend keeps asking me to go back into the Army because she wants to live that "military lifestyle."

she says she's lived it since her dad was a recruiter in the air force and she had to move around some as a child....

she's mad because i laughed at her. this all spurred up because her sister's boyfriend is leaving in a few days for basic training in the air force and she's jealous that her sister "might" get to have that lifestyle...

i told her not to be surprised when a 22 year old boy dumps her sister when he gets orders to England or Germany.

[WhiskeyDavid]

lol girlfriend keeps asking me to go back into the Army because she wants to live that "military lifestyle."

she says she's lived it since her dad was a recruiter in the air force and she had to move around some as a child....

she's mad because i laughed at her. this all spurred up because her sister's boyfriend is leaving in a few days for basic training in the air force and she's jealous that her sister "might" get to have that lifestyle...

i told her not to be surprised when a 22 year old boy dumps her sister when he gets orders to England or Germany.

Hmm...If she wants that military lifestyle wouldn't that then mean she's assuming marriage between you two? Since a girlfriend can't really live a military lifestyle unless she's talking about writing in her diary for a year while you're deployed. and LOL at reasoning. This is true, Air force buddy will get orders to somewhere across the country and within a week will feel the pull to want to be single when he goes to the local club and sees nothing but sloot bar tenders and girls that want that BAH

[Wisdom15]

Hmm...If she wants that military lifestyle wouldn't that then mean she's assuming marriage between you two? Since a girlfriend can't really live a military lifestyle unless she's talking about writing in her diary for a year while you're deployed. and LOL at reasoning. This is true, Air force buddy will get orders to somewhere across the country and within a week will feel the pull to want to be single when he goes to the local club and sees nothing but sloot bar tenders and girls that want that BAH

I mean, he's going in the Air Force. There's a lot of nice looking broads in the AF he may be working with.

[pUniCepts]

lol girlfriend keeps asking me to go back into the Army because she wants to live that "military lifestyle."

she says she's lived it since her dad was a recruiter in the air force and she had to move around some as a child....

she's mad because i laughed at her. this all spurred up because her sister's boyfriend is leaving in a few days for basic training in the air force and she's jealous that her sister "might" get to have that lifestyle...

i told her not to be surprised when a 22 year old boy dumps her sister when he gets orders to England or Germany.

lifestyle aka fukking Jody
and/or become a dependapotamus

if your gf just wanted it for the moving around she could join the military herself.

Since a girlfriend can't really live a military lifestyle unless she's talking about fukking Jody for a year while you're deployed.

ftfy

[Wisdom15]

lifestyle aka fukking Jody
and/or become a dependapotamus

if your gf just wanted it for the moving around she could join the military herself.



ftfy

eyes opened. #woke

[jmonty]

lifestyle aka fukking Jody
and/or become a dependapotamus

if your gf just wanted it for the moving around she could join the military herself.

but then she'd have to work herself for the benefits.

i legit knew a girl like that. she started making her way thru cadets, then lieutenants then captains. eventually she moved and found a gullible, probably virgin AF CPT that was not aware of her slootiness.

good for her though, i guess. gotta have goals.

[Jayl12345]

LOL. Dependapotomus. My ex still doesn't want to finalize divorce. Not because she wants to work on thing, but because she wants dat dere' Tricare. No harm tho, my BAH is $400 higher still being married. Win/win.

STD Update:

Called the clinic on FRIDAY cause they were supposed to call ME by Thurs. They said they can't give that out over the phone and they'll call by Monday afternoon? (To me, that sounds like I have SOMETHING, no?)

I have a bit of a frustration vent, and explain I'm going to a wedding with a girl I'm seeing, and plan on smashing. Dude says there's nothing he can do. Then, asks me to hold on. I wait on hold for about ten solid minutes, comes back on and says "OK, you're good man. Have fun."

All clear.

I think the medic tried to cok block me wtf.

Long story short, no lessons learned, Immediately smashed without protection.

[schnit]

Called the clinic on FRIDAY cause they were supposed to call ME by Thurs. They said they can't give that out over the phone and they'll call by Monday afternoon? (To me, that sounds like I have SOMETHING, no?)

Pretty routine to not give info over the phone--as much as it sucks.

I used to have to tell people they tested positive for HIV VIA the NAT, and that the test is like 99.999% accurate. Was some of the ****tiest moments in my life. You'll know 100% if you're ****ed based upon the look on the guy's face when he calls you into the room. There's absolutely no way to not have the look of "dude, I just ran over your kid and I'm about to tell you" on your face.

[Jayl12345]

Pretty routine to not give info over the phone--as much as it sucks.

I used to have to tell people they tested positive for HIV VIA the NAT, and that the test is like 99.999% accurate. Was some of the ****tiest moments in my life. You'll know 100% if you're ****ed based upon the look on the guy's face when he calls you into the room. There's absolutely no way to not have the look of "dude, I just ran over your kid and I'm about to tell you" on your face.

Eesh. That's horrifying. I knew the odds of anything like THAT were astronomical. But once they tell you they're testing for it, that's all I could think about. I was all like 'man, I shouldn't have had all that buttsects.'

[blumpkin415]

5.5 more years till I can retire. Need to get on dat dere 1SG time first...

[TXBuddy]

2 years for me. Need to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

[pUniCepts]

Long story short, no lessons learned, Immediately smashed without protection.

[Interrogate]

oooo This thread got phukin joocy.

I guess it's actually kinda tough to contract most STDs as a dude, because of the whole not having a warm wet hole for stuff to grow in. I've always made out fine raw doggin because I finish in 45 seconds. It's a race to me and aint no one beat me yet.

So I'm dating an AF chick while going to school at Arizona State University online. She was just bragging that I'm living the army vet's dream, being a dependa to an AF chick. BRB paying rent, caring for the house and still paying for date night an shyt. Wutdo?

[Wisdom15]

So I'm dating an AF chick while going to school at Arizona State University online. She was just bragging that I'm living the army vet's dream, being a dependa to an AF chick. BRB paying rent, caring for the house and still paying for date night an shyt. Wutdo?

Oh you got one of those "silver spoon fed" coonts too?

Swear bro, bishes never appreciate stuff.

EDIT... To caveat on this post:

I just got a part time job as a "cart pusher" making 10/hr while finishing up college. (Putting that great military and leadership experience to work here.) Told the gf about it and she got pissed because she has a (useless) degree making 8/hr. Her reasoning: "I do a lot more work than you do as a cart guy."

She's a barista at Starbucks.

....and I pay the bills as well. My generation... wtf?!

[Dirk__Diggler]

Anyone waiting for the 7 list to drop?

[Sinan09400]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varicocele

This?

It's easier to recognize if you scroll down to the second image.

























I think I was diagnosed with this about a decade ago. Ever had an ultrasound on your balls while you had to remain straight-faced? This guy has. They fixed it tho. Can't see why this would disqualify tho. Never heard of that.


And yes, I'll let you guys know what happens with results.

Yes sir thats the one. I went to three different doctors they both said a surgery is only necessary if I cant get someone pregnant. When I asked them about military, they didnt know what to say. God help me

It feels funny tho, like boiled spagetti inside my left ball

That said first time I did a cock ultrasound, it was a female, she told me to drop my underwear and wait for her in some room (they do the same in brothels btw), I waited with my pants on, she came and said: "havent you told to take out your clothes!", told me to hold the tip of my dick as she press the machine on my ball.

10/10 experience, would do again

[Jayl12345]

Oh you got one of those "silver spoon fed" coonts too?

Swear bro, bishes never appreciate stuff.

EDIT... To caveat on this post:

I just got a part time job as a "cart pusher" making 10/hr while finishing up college. (Putting that great military and leadership experience to work here.) Told the gf about it and she got pissed because she has a (useless) degree making 8/hr. Her reasoning: "I do a lot more work than you do as a cart guy."

She's a barista at Starbucks.

....and I pay the bills as well. My generation... wtf?!

Eesh. That's a tough one. Granted, I'm still working on my degree, but I'm literally only doing it to get promoted, and for after the military. It does me no good any other way, nor will it for 6 more years until retirement. People get all confused over the importance of a piece of paper.

Anyone waiting for the 7 list to drop?

Yeah.... TWO YEARS AGO! BOOM!




















(please don't mod neg me and good luck)

Yes sir thats the one. I went to three different doctors they both said a surgery is only necessary if I cant get someone pregnant. When I asked them about military, they didnt know what to say. God help me

It feels funny tho, like boiled spagetti inside my left ball

That said first time I did a cock ultrasound, it was a female, she told me to drop my underwear and wait for her in some room (they do the same in brothels btw), I waited with my pants on, she came and said: "havent you told to take out your clothes!", told me to hold the tip of my dick as she press the machine on my ball.

10/10 experience, would do again

Can confirm, expect not a hot female, and they had me lay on my back for it. Forgot to ask for happy endings. Not to mention, if they can warm up shaving cream before applying it, why not that fuggin jelly they smear on your balls? Ice cold wtf.

Can confirm swimmers still strong tho. Regrettably. Good luck in your positively charged baby batter goals for 2016.