NoFap thread srs - Finally breaking this

[SirFapsAIot]

day 200, 564 - my life is still miserable and I'm still a failure, but i know if i keep blaming fapping something is bound to change!

intercepted a post from the future through my time expansion hyper cube chrono-acceleration magnifier.

[NMS3]

I always enjoy coming to these threads to see the inevitable hnnnggg pics.

[artdecade]

Good luck in the future, brother.

Cheers mate

[Cleveland33]

I always enjoy coming to these threads to see the inevitable hnnnggg pics.

[WoofieNugget]

after 30+ days, I bet he can uncork the geyser within 3 minutes without porn or imagination...

I wonder if using a Fleshlight is cheating?

[brownbeard]

porn is a curse (srs)

[artdecade]

45 days - The halfway point of the 90 Day reboot is here. As I’ve said many times, I expect it will be a lot longer before I am fully healed. However, the improvements in my emotional sensitivity over the last few days has been immensely encouraging and I feel like I am progressing ahead of schedule. One challenge that has arisen after noticing some subtle improvements is a case of impatience. I see the change and it makes me hungry to experience more, hungry to experience the neurochemical rebirth that recovering from chronic addiction promises. It’s tough because I have to accept the only thing that’s going to deliver the changes from healing is time. I have to be patient and show grit.

Something else I’ve noticed, a subtle change, is my self esteem seems to be improving. I could only describe it this way, it feels like positive experiences are actually being retained and used as validation. Before it felt like I would always reset the next day. I’d have an amazing experience, get real validation and proof that I am a capable, attractive etc person, yet it would seem to count for nothing as soon as the experience was over. Imagine self esteem is like building a house and each experience is a brick in that structure. Before this reboot I could lay a few bricks in a day but it would have collapsed by the time the next day began, as if the foundations were too weak to be able to support any construction. Now, whilst there is a long way to go to possess the self esteem I’d like, it feels that the structure remains standing and ready for further construction to take place.

I think it’s also likely that my mood has significantly improved over the course of this reboot but I have not explicitly noticed because it has happened gradually. It’s the Frog in the boiling water analogy. I have found this before, I tend to believe that I have always felt, and always will feel, the way I do in any precise moment. So the way I feel now, which is actually pretty good and relatively trouble free, I believe I was always feeling. I think it’s also true that I am feeling more confident, more positive, more clear headed etc but it all feels so natural that I’ve not noticed the change. Addiction is what made me feel the way it did and so now I just feel like me, making it harder again to really identify proper change when it has happened gradually over six weeks.

I imagine if I were to relapse now and then indulge in a binge I’d be hit quite hard by how much it lowers my mood. I would probably think: “Oh yeah this is how I felt and this is why I wanted to quit '' whereas now the memory is a little foggy and not such a visceral comparison.

Also signs that my sex drive is revving up again. I matched with a girl on a dating app last night and I got a real hunger to phuck. I haven’t spoken hugely about it but I do feel like I’ve been in a bit of a mini flatline. I still have been getting the odd erection over the last week or so but they’ve been far less common and, in general, I’ve felt more apathy surrounding sex or pursuing sex. This is an extremely common symptom most rebooters have reported. But it felt different when I was talking to this girl, the hunger was back - even more so than before the reboot. Still early days on this, I’m not quite sure what to expect. I am quite ready to have a full flatline where I do not get any erections for weeks, something I have not had on any of my reboots. I know they can come at any time so it’s certainly possible that it happens, even if I should be out of the immediate withdrawal stage by now. RIght now though I feel like the opposite issue, danger of relapse because I feel so horny so have to be on guard.

Overall though, I am feeling very positive. The emotions I’ve felt over the last few days have refreshed me spiritually, I’ve acted very decisively about my future, and the best part is that I’m still pretty early in the process. Every single piece of literature on the subject states that this will continue to improve for the following weeks and months. There may be ups and downs, I’m expecting a dip soon to be honest, but if I stay committed it is inevitable that the change I am so thirsty for will come. The evidence of the last few days suggests that the profound changes have actively started

[Cleveland33]

I can't imagine the amount of porn I would have to watch to lose the desire to phuck someone

[artdecade]

Day 46 - Definitely had to resist some cravings last night. Nothing too difficult but I was feeling horny and craved an outlet. I wanted to go on dating apps a lot, feeling compelled to look at the more suggestive pics more often than necessary. Just something to be aware of.

This is linked to the struggle of not knowing when I’m going to phuck again. It technically could be less than a week, I do have a date with that bich I’ve been seeing set for Tuesday next week, but it feels like that’s fizzled out and it won’t happen. With my living situation about to change, making it harder to phuck, it is easy to think that I could be heading into a dry spell. A scary prospect and makes abstaining from this addiction that bit harder.

Opportunities are not really lacking though, what’s lacking is motivation. For example, there’s this girl who I have spoken to for a while who I know I could go on a date with. She’s not brilliant but certainly not unattractive. if I want to phuck then I can arrange that. But the fact is I’m not doing it.

I suppose I am still treating these dating apps as a pron substitute rather than a channel to meet women. Whilst it’s true I used it properly to some extent when I was an addict, I’ve probably been out with 15-20 women or so in the last year from these apps, I also always used it directly during my pron use. It was a fuel for fantasy and I am using it that way now.

My mind is still trying to take the easy route and believes it is possible to break me, to make me ‘take things into my own hands’ and return to PMO. What we have now is a need that is no longer being met through an addiction, coupled with an abundance of opportunities where that need can be met with a little bit of work. A fairly easy problem to fix, but what’s lacking is the drive to do so. The desensitisation of addiction reversing will result in motivation and drive to pursue women increasing.

At the moment I am still stuck in that pron mindset. The immediate sexual gratification I am used to means that I am resistant to the idea that any work or effort is required to get the release I crave. Up until the internet this was the biological reality for all men, something they would not even think to question, and the slight discomfort from an unmet immediate need would simply act as a drive to put oneself out there to find a mate. My brain is in an adjustment period right now, missing that instant gratification but not yet ready to accept that it is not an option. I expect over the next few weeks and months I will experience a massive increase in drive to pursue women as my brain comes to terms with reality.

The above theory can also be extended to socialising in general. I have realised that one of the central aspects of my anxiety and isolation in social situations is that I lack the motivation to ‘swim against the current’. It’s not really as if I don’t know what to say or lack an understanding of social cues. I am pretty social adept and able to empathise pretty easily. The main struggle is having the energy, motivation or mindset to make any effort to socialise, initiate socialising or take any form of social risk. I go for the path of least resistance, and this is usually to remain quiet and to offer simple polite responses that cut off the conversation.

It would not be hard to link this to the ‘pron mindset’ I spoke of earlier, referring to being used to instant gratification requiring no work. Once you combine this ‘pron mindset’ with the desensitisation impacts of pron addiction - where you are less sensitive to natural pleasures because your brain has physically changed to require more stimulation after addiction - it is easy to see why this leads to social withdrawal, isolation and anxiety.

Overall I am feeling patient and recognising that this is still very early on. It feels like a long time, and I’m proud of this streak, but in reality it’s not very long. 16 years of heavy use, with at least 11 of those years spent addicted, compared to little more than six weeks off. It takes longer to reverse those brain changes. Yet I am somewhat amazed by the changes I’ve already experienced and very optimistic that the 90 days will be more transformative than I originally considered. However I still maintain that more significant improvements will likely happen after Day 90, with Days 120, 180 and 270 probably more realistic goals to expect great change

[Cleveland33]

so has anything improved in 46 days?

it seems like you are going through the same thing every day

[artdecade]

so has anything improved in 46 days?

it seems like you are going through the same thing every day

Yeah lots bro read my posts I've outlined them in detail.

For tldr:
- increase in emotional sensitivity. Was very numb before so this is massive
- Improvements in confidence and self esteem. Relatively subtle but definitely better
- acting more decisive about my life, far less passive
- Enjoying socialising more and showing less anxiety, more desire to be with people
- Even some physical improvements. Acne on face is clearing up, not sure if related but other guys have reported it so it's possible. Balls hanging much lower and looking healthier

Just some examples. But I stress 46 days is early in the process, you can't expect complete healing from a 10 year long addiction in six weeks

[Cleveland33]

Yeah lots bro read my posts I've outlined them in detail.

For tldr:
- increase in emotional sensitivity. Was very numb before so this is massive
- Improvements in confidence and self esteem. Relatively subtle but definitely better
- acting more decisive about my life, far less passive
- Enjoying socialising more and showing less anxiety, more desire to be with people
- Even some physical improvements. Acne on face is clearing up, not sure if related but other guys have reported it so it's possible. Balls hanging much lower and looking healthier

Just some examples. But I stress 46 days is early in the process, you can't expect complete healing from a 10 year long addiction in six weeks

you think that is what you are conveying in your posts? Those are all things that can happen from a change in habits - good or bad.

what's odd to me is that your addiction happened through your formative years and yet you still had girlfriends, got laid, etc - tell us some personal experiences regarding porn negatively impacting your personal relationships that would be really interesting.

[artdecade]

you think that is what you are conveying in your posts? Those are all things that can happen from a change in habits - good or bad.

what's odd to me is that your addiction happened through your formative years and yet you still had girlfriends, got laid, etc - tell us some personal experiences regarding porn negatively impacting your personal relationships that would be really interesting.

Well okay I'm just listing what I've noticed over the span of 46 days. You can think they're unrelated to quitting pmo, allowed your opinion.

In terms of getting laid/gf etc, I still have a lot of good qualities that are attractive so it's not impossible for me to have these experiences even when addicted. I'm quite lucky in a lot of ways but desensitisation is a bich haha

[Cleveland33]

Well okay I'm just listing what I've noticed over the span of 46 days. You can think they're unrelated to quitting pmo, allowed your opinion.

In terms of getting laid/gf etc, I still have a lot of good qualities that are attractive so it's not impossible for me to have these experiences even when addicted. I'm quite lucky in a lot of ways but desensitisation is a bich haha

so tell a personal experience how desensitatisation has negatively impacted you - how does it manifest itself in real life?

[artdecade]

so tell a personal experience how desensitatisation has negatively impacted you - how does it manifest itself in real life?

Lol you are like a dog with a bone on this.

I've just felt very detached and withdrawn from the people in my life. Taken relationships and friendships for granted and been miserable. There's not really specific examples I can point to, it's more of a general feeling of misery that insidiously erodes every part of your life.

I'm sure you're gonna argue that there's no proof that this is a result of pmo addiction, and you may well be right. But this experience is a common one for addicts because of the desensitisation effects I always bang on about. Since I quite clearly meet all the criteria for pmo addiction it is a logical hypothesis that this, at least partially, explains my experiences. We shall see if it's correct over the next 3 - 6 months

[Cleveland33]

Lol you are like a dog with a bone on this.

I've just felt very detached and withdrawn from the people in my life. Taken relationships and friendships for granted and been miserable. There's not really specific examples I can point to, it's more of a general feeling of misery that insidiously erodes every part of your life.

I'm sure you're gonna argue that there's no proof that this is a result of pmo addiction, and you may well be right. But this experience is a common one for addicts because of the desensitisation effects I always bang on about. Since I quite clearly meet all the criteria for pmo addiction it is a logical hypothesis that this, at least partially, explains my experiences. We shall see if it's correct over the next 3 - 6 months

so through your teens and 20s you were able to create and form relationships but then withdrew from them? But you didn't lose any of these friends and it didn't end any of your relationships because of it?

[artdecade]

so through your teens and 20s you were able to create and form relationships but then withdrew from them? But you didn't lose any of these friends and it didn't end any of your relationships because of it?

Bro please read my posts if you're this interested in my life, I have gone into this.

No, as I believe I said in the OP, I have lost touch with all my friends and relationships. I believe this is due to me acting miserable, anxious and withdrawn making maintaining relationships very difficult.

I suspect I felt this way because of desensitisation. So by this logic, yes addiction led to me losing my friendships and relationships.

Obviously you would disagree with this. You seem to either not understand desensitisation, doubt it's a real thing, or not believe it applies in my case.

So I dont see that we're going to meet eye to eye on this. Since it's my life Im obviously going to follow my own theory

[Cleveland33]

Bro please read my posts if you're this interested in my life, I have gone into this.

No, as I believe I said in the OP, I have lost touch with all my friends and relationships. I believe this is due to me acting miserable, anxious and withdrawn making maintaining relationships very difficult.

I suspect I felt this way because of desensitisation. So by this logic, yes addiction led to me losing my friendships and relationships.

Obviously you would disagree with this. You seem to either not understand desensitisation, doubt it's a real thing, or not believe it applies in my case.

So I dont see that we're going to meet eye to eye on this. Since it's my life Im obviously going to follow my own theory

If you have lost touch with friends and relationships then you do have specific examples you can point to.

[artdecade]

If you have lost touch with friends and relationships then you do have specific examples you can point to.

Lol bro read my posts, let's leave it at that

Lol you are like a dog with a bone on this.

I've just felt very detached and withdrawn from the people in my life. Taken relationships and friendships for granted and been miserable. There's not really specific examples I can point to, it's more of a general feeling of misery that insidiously erodes every part of your life

[Cleveland33]

Lol bro read my posts, let's leave it at that

Right you contradicted yourself in your next post and said porn made you miserable to be around and it ended friendships and relationships - tell me about one of those specifically. Who was the last girl you fukked? How long did it last? How was the relationship? Did you want it to be more serious and she bailed? Did you pass up opportunities to fuk her cause you wanted to watch porn instead? These should be easy for you to write about given the dear diary posts you have been posting

Most people start forming longterm friendships in their teens and 20s - the time you were addicted - if you are so miserable and withdrawn how did you form these relationships in the first place? How long have you been friends with the friends you have now?

[artdecade]

Right you contradicted yourself in your next post and said porn made you miserable to be around and it ended friendships and relationships - tell me about one of those specifically. Who was the last girl you fukked? How long did it last? How was the relationship? Did you want it to be more serious and she bailed? Did you pass up opportunities to fuk her cause you wanted to watch porn instead? These should be easy for you to write about given the dear diary posts you have been posting

Most people start forming longterm friendships in their teens and 20s - the time you were addicted - if you are so miserable and withdrawn how did you form these relationships in the first place? How long have you been friends with the friends you have now?

How tf did I contradict myself, your reading comprehension is shocking.

Brah I've answered your question, get phucked demanding more and more intimate details. I'll share what I want, not sure who you think you are

[Cleveland33]

Taken relationships and friendships for granted and been miserable. There's not really specific examples I can point to, it's more of a general feeling of misery that insidiously erodes every part of your life.

No, as I believe I said in the OP, I have lost touch with all my friends and relationships. I believe this is due to me acting miserable, anxious and withdrawn making maintaining relationships very difficult.

if you lost all your friends and relationships there are specific examples you can point to.

Talk about the last sexual relationship you had. Or your first. Or your former best friend that isn't around anymore because of your desensitisation

[artdecade]

if you lost all your friends and relationships there are specific examples you can point to.

Talk about the last sexual relationship you had. Or your first. Or your former best friend that isn't around anymore because of your desensitisation

That's not a contradiction brah that's your reading comprehension again. I'm saying there's not specific examples of pron addiction causing this. Im saying it's a result of feeling miserable, withdrawn and anxious - which I believe are caused by desensitisation.

You don't understand desensitisation so you will not agree.

Again, I'll write about what I want thanks mate. I've already gone into many personal experiences. For example, if you had read my posts you'd see many references to the last girl I ****ed and how that's been going

[Cleveland33]

That's not a contradiction brah that's your reading comprehension again. I'm saying there's not specific examples of pron addiction causing this. Im saying it's a result of feeling miserable, withdrawn and anxious - which I believe are caused by desensitisation.

You don't understand desensitisation so you will not agree.

Again, I'll write about what I want thanks mate. I've already gone into many personal experiences. For example, if you had read my posts you'd see many references to the last girl I ****ed and how that's been going

I didn't ask for specific examples of porn addiction causing this - I asked for specific examples of relationships that you feel were negatively impacted by your porn addiction

[artdecade]

I didn't ask for specific examples of porn addiction causing this - I asked for specific examples of relationships that you feel were negatively impacted by your porn addiction

Fuk me

Go read up on desensitisation then you'll understand. Until then there is no point in this convo

[Cleveland33]

Fuk me

Go read up on desensitisation then you'll understand. Until then there is no point in this convo

I am not asking for examples of desensitisation - I am asking about examples of the relationships you have lost

[artdecade]

I am not asking for examples of desensitisation - I am asking about examples of the relationships you have lost

Final word on this subject because I'm bored now.

Read my posts and read about desensitisation. It's pretty simple.

Not going to get into the nitty gritty of my ex relationships or or friendships with you because you don't understand desensitisation so you are clearly going to say "bUt YoU dOn'T kNoW tHaT's ReLaTeD tO pOrN".

I may write more about experiences like this in one of my future posts if I deem it relevant or useful. But I'm certainly not going to do all the work of thoroughly explaining something as complicated as the end of friendships or relationships with someone who is either retarded or just arguing in bad faith

Anyway I'm only gonna answer your future questions if they're relevant or interesting. So guess probably bye forever

[Cleveland33]

Final word on this subject because I'm bored now.

Read my posts and read about desensitisation. It's pretty simple.

Not going to get into the nitty gritty of my ex relationships or or friendships with you because you don't understand desensitisation so you are clearly going to say "bUt YoU dOn'T kNoW tHaT's ReLaTeD tO pOrN".

I may write more about experiences like this in one of my future posts if I deem it relevant or useful. But I'm certainly not going to do all the work of thoroughly explaining something as complicated as the end of friendships or relationships with someone who is either retarded or just arguing in bad faith

Anyway I'm only gonna answer your future questions if they're relevant or interesting. So guess probably bye forever

I accept that it was the result of desensitisation, I get it, there is no question there. I just want to hear examples of a relationship that was ruined by it. Being that losing relationships, including friends, is one of the big things they say can result from porn addiction I would like to hear someone tell me about their own experience in that area, I don't see how this is a big ask.

[artdecade]

I accept that it was the result of desensitisation, I get it, there is no question there. I just want to hear examples of a relationship that was ruined by it. Being that losing relationships, including friends, is one of the big things they say can result from porn addiction I would like to hear someone tell me about their own experience in that area, I don't see how this is a big ask.

Lol look at you trying to come across all reasonable now after a week of trolling the thread.

I'll have a think about it, maybe I'll include something in one of my daily posts. It'll take some reflecting and analysis so not something I'm gonna knock out in 5 mins

[Cleveland33]

Lol look at you trying to come across all reasonable now after a week of trolling the thread.

I'll have a think about it, maybe I'll include something in one of my daily posts. It'll take some reflecting and analysis so not something I'm gonna knock out in 5 mins

this is literally the same thing I have been asking for the whole time while you deflected back to desensitisation and contradicting yourself about not having specific examples