Does going to therapy make you less of a man?

[sandaltan]

Opening up to a good friend or loved one helps and is fine

Seeing a therapist means you are mentally weak and you are less of a man.

sounds like you should see someone to deal with your projection and mental health issues related to being incredibly short

[playerofwar]

I have a few friends that studied/are therapists and psychologists. Half of them say it's the biggest horse**** around and that thousands of people have been mentally ****ed by the techniques they use up to this day. They learn how the 'science' invented shellshock, depression and burn out. And that before these terms, no people have ever been diagnosed with all the signs of these 'mental challenges'. They learn how they can invent a new type of these mental illnesses by just formulating questions in a right way to imply some answer. And once people know that such a thing exists, they have the tendancy to find the symptoms in their own life. They told me they have the option to play allong with this society defeating faux science or to just let it happen by others and lose out on millions over their carreer. One has a technique to let people come to reality with thelselves and not have bull**** 'mental problems', but he earns the least because his clients don't need to come back, like ever. Others just listen and others diagnose (the worst kind for your mental state of mind). I truely believe that in the current society studying psychology with a critical mind is the best studies you can do. It will set you up to achieving a lot more if you don't start in the trade, but apply the techniques to other professions.

<psychology is a not a science
<psychology is dangerous for individual and society
<psychology is the best thing to study at uni for preparing you for the rest of your life.

[401Delta]

It doesn't make you less of a man, although needing it may be an indication that you are less of a man. In any case (especially in your case, OP), you should still go if it can help you to become less of a woman.

[DolphinPilot]

Have not read through all 4 pages of this thread, but does anyone have insight into therapists being impartial and unbiased? I've heard some people go through therapy, therapist tells them they should do X to help solve their problems when IMO (not a therapist) I believe X would make it worse or at the least just mask their issues. So say if I were to go to therapy for something is it common to want to get second opinions on whatever guidance they offer, or is it there some objectivity to it?

[fcnz32]

No, just means you're bad at introspection and need to pay someone else to help you with a skill that every strong man should have.

...sorry, maybe that came out wrong. What I mean is that going to see a therapist doesn't suddenly make you less of a man. You already, currently are less of a man and need help to become a more complete one. Whether you go to therapy or not is inconsequential to the present.

Sorry. what I'm trying to say is there's no shame in having another man/woman teach you how to change a tire. Gotta learn somehow. Don't get hung up on whether you were less of a man when you didn't know how to. Once you learn, you're all good though. Accepting one's own flaws and improving is part of being a man.

[Christopoll]

I have a few friends that studied/are therapists and psychologists. Half of them say it's the biggest horse**** around and that thousands of people have been mentally ****ed by the techniques they use up to this day. They learn how the 'science' invented shellshock, depression and burn out. And that before these terms, no people have ever been diagnosed with all the signs of these 'mental challenges'. They learn how they can invent a new type of these mental illnesses by just formulating questions in a right way to imply some answer. And once people know that such a thing exists, they have the tendancy to find the symptoms in their own life. They told me they have the option to play allong with this society defeating faux science or to just let it happen by others and lose out on millions over their carreer. One has a technique to let people come to reality with thelselves and not have bull**** 'mental problems', but he earns the least because his clients don't need to come back, like ever. Others just listen and others diagnose (the worst kind for your mental state of mind). I truely believe that in the current society studying psychology with a critical mind is the best studies you can do. It will set you up to achieving a lot more if you don't start in the trade, but apply the techniques to other professions.

<psychology is a not a science
<psychology is dangerous for individual and society
<psychology is the best thing to study at uni for preparing you for the rest of your life.

What? Mental illness has been documented for thousands of years and has always existed, anyone who says otherwise has obviously never read medical literature. Some of what you say is partly true, for example some people aren't really depressed, just sad/down and don't wanna fix their issues by themselves so they take meds but don't ever really bother improving or just ldar blaming their problems on depression. However to claim that all of it is made up bull**** in the last century is absolutely ridiculous.

And once people know that such a thing exists, they have the tendancy to find the symptoms in their own life

While this is true so is the opposite, many know something is wrong with them but don't know what, so they try dealing it by themselves but it doesn't suffice. I speak from personal experience, and know many who had the same happen to them.

[SmithMachineGuy]

That's a yes from me dogg.
If your feelings are hurt, walk it off.

[CherryPopinski]

Bro it really does feel gay being there. It's very emasculating. Men don't cry or talk about their feels. Men are supposed to be strong. I think deep down I am a coward, and it is that cowardice that has held me back from finding that inner strength. If I had been this way during WW2, they'd have just shot me for cowardice. Sad, but true. How can anyone think of being seen as an attractive man, fit to be a father, if he cannot even take care of himself and find his own strength?

I'm an LEO and let me tell you...

No but seriously a good friend of mine told me once, no man worth their salt has ever not shed a tear once in their life. You're not a coward for feeling emotions brah, it's what makes them human. Confronting your issues and continuing to persevere in spite of them is what makes you a man.

[dannyg1217]

sounds like you should see someone to deal with your projection and mental health issues related to being incredibly short

I'm good bro. I have great genetics sans height. I landed a beautiful wife and have great looking healthy kids. Sorry I'm not a depressed twat and dont take meds like candy

Edit: I hope you seek help for your delusions about being an ambulance chaser

[BetaAsPhuck]

I think that your image of what is means to be a man, is going to need to change if you want to improve your mental health.

Sharing your emotions, crying, and generally feeling vulnerable is IME crucial to improving depression or anxiety.

In case you don't know men kill themselves at 3/4 times the rate that women do. Men also make up the majority of drug and alcohol addicts.

Violence prevention expert James Gilligan successfully lead a therapeutic team intervention, into a psychiatric prison which had a very high violent crime and suicide rate - the violence and suicide rate dropped to near zero by time the intervention was officially over. He said that his team focused on helping the men; heal chronic ('secret') feelings of shame and humiliation, get them into education of some kind, and... Changing their view on what it means to be a 'real man'.

According to Gilligan he found that men prone to violence/aggression  tend to have a view that masculinity = superiority or dominance. Dominace or superiority over others, and (it seems) dominance or superiority over even their own emotions.

It was only the past couple of months, that I realized that my subconscious archetype of what a 'real man' is, is exactly like what Gilligan described. I have over the past few weeks been directly challenging it, by consciously focusing on male role models, and reminding myself of my core values.

[RedRusty]

I think that your image of what is means to be a man, is going to need to change if you want to improve your mental health.

Sharing your emotions, crying, and generally feeling vulnerable is IME crucial to improving depression or anxiety.

In case you don't know men kill themselves at 3/4 times the rate that men do. Men also make up the majority of drug and alcohol addicts.

Violence prevention expert James Gilling an sucessfully lead a therapeutic team intervention, into a psychiatric prison which had a very high violent crime and suicide rate - the violence and suicide rate dropped to near zero by time the intevention was officially over. He said that his team focused on helping the men; heal chronic ('secret') feelings of shame and humiliation, get them into education of some kind, and... Changing their view on what it means to be a 'real man'.

According to Gilligan he found that men prone to violence/aggression  tend to have a view that masculinity = superiority or dominance. Dominace or superiority over others, and (it seems) dominance or superiority over even their own emotions.

It was only the past couple of months, that I realized that my subconscious  archetype of what a 'real man' is, is exactly like what Gilligan described. I have over the past few weeks been directly challenging it.

Repping this on R/C, this is a great post.

[401Delta]

In case you don't know men kill themselves at 3/4 times the rate that men do.

[nm1891]

therapy is completely fake and gay for men. 99% of male mental health chit comes from not smashing your oneitis, see r/incel. So the cure to that chit can be found outside a therapist office. The classic remedies are alcoholism and taking life in your hands and impregnating some homely looking girl

Quite possibly the dumbest chit I have ever read.

[PLANETGETLOW]

Get help if you or anyone here needs it. Nobody is to discuss suicide at all, grounds for getting slapped and being banned redirecting you to seek professional help.

[BetaAsPhuck]

Have not read through all 4 pages of this thread, but does anyone have insight into therapists being impartial and unbiased? I've heard some people go through therapy, therapist tells them they should do X to help solve their problems when IMO (not a therapist) I believe X would make it worse or at the least just mask their issues. So say if I were to go to therapy for something is it common to want to get second opinions on whatever guidance they offer, or is it there some objectivity to it?

You don't need to take their suggestions.

I take some of my counsellor's suggestions, and sometimes I don't.

The majority of our sessions is her giving me empathy, and helping me to reframe things in a more beneficial way. Towards the end she'll give me advice.

The empathy and reframing along is healing (long term). Regarding any direct advice regarding circumstances, IMO it can be beneficial to get multiple opinions.

Something I don't like (though is understandable) is that therapy/counselling tends to be amoral IME. So I strongly suggest that people look elsewhere for guidance regarding values, alongside doing therapy/counselling.

[BetaAsPhuck]

LOL, thanks for spotting that.

Edited.

[OneWayFS]

Fuk no.

I had depression and that chit sucked up my life and set me back 1 - 1.5 years. Got cut off from all my friends, social life went down the drain, work and school ethic bottomed out. I tried to weather through it cause I was like seeing a therapist was for weak mfs, but it only got worse to the point where I was nearly forced to go.

While I can't say the therapist necessarily helped, it's always better to try to get some help than no help at all.

And besides, would you rather risk being looked at as less of a man, or waste your life rotting away because you're succumbing to some mental health issue?



I will say what was more embarrassing was having to admit you had it. I come up with every excuse in the book when someone asks about that time in my life or why I disappeared. Still embarrassed about that chit, most of my friends save for a few don't even know

[DolphinPilot]

You don't need to take their suggestions.

I take some of my counsellor's suggestions, and sometimes I don't.

The majority of our sessions is her giving me empathy, and helping me to reframe things in a more beneficial way. Towards the end she'll give me advice.

The empathy and reframing along is healing (long term). Regarding any direct advice regarding circumstances, IMO it can be beneficial to get multiple opinions.

Something I don't like (though is understandable) is that therapy/counselling tends to be amoral IME. So I strongly suggest that people look elsewhere for guidance regarding values, alongside doing therapy/counselling.

lmao funny you bring that up since the reason I asked was because I know a woman who went to see a therapist and he (according to her) told her to start having sex with randoms to get over her anxiety. No joke. She is just a typical slut now...

would rep but our rep power is almost identical so I dont' wanna touch it

[BetaAsPhuck]

Hell, I've even found that writing speeches for my Toastmasters group but not actually delivering the ones that are too personal still helps tremendously with working through my thoughts.

This link might help you to further understand why...

"... An intensive journaling study (in press, Annals of Behavioral Medicine) she conducted recently with her doctoral student Phil Ullrich suggests that people who relive upsetting events without focusing on meaning report poorer health than those who derive meaning from the writing. They even fare worse than people who write about neutral events. Also, those who focus on meaning develop greater awareness of positive aspects of a stressful event.

"You need focused thought as well as emotions," says Lutgendorf. "An individual needs to find meaning in a traumatic memory as well as to feel the related emotions to reap positive benefits from the writing exercise."

In explaining this phenomenon, Pennebaker draws a parallel with therapy. "People who talk about things over and over in the same ways aren't getting any better," he says. "There has to be growth or change in the way they view their experiences."

Evidence of a changed perspective can be found in the language people use, Pennebaker has found. For example, the more they use such cause-and-effect words as "because," "realize" and "understand," the more they appear to benefit."

https://www.apa.org/monitor/jun02/writing.aspx


I too have found a lot of help in repetitively practising reframing the traumatic things that I've experience throughout my life, as being experiences that I can use to help me live in accordance with my core values.

When I began practising that, I remembered and realized that is a core method that is taught by spiritual mentors, therapists, life coaches, etc. It's also (IMO beautifully) portrayed in the movie The Grey... Finding meaning in experiences of suffering.


(I can't stress enough though - to any lurkers - this is a method that has to be repeated, over and over again in writing, talking out loud, or in our mental talk, until we become conditioned and our new story replaces our previous story.)


Tony Robbins gives some tips here, on how to reframe our story...



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sDkDNiqQyU

[japzz]

Are 17k misc posts no therapy enough? Write it off your head they say, well at least you did that daily

[BetaAsPhuck]

lmao funny you bring that up since the reason I asked was because I know a woman who went to see a therapist and he (according to her) told her to start having sex with randoms to get over her anxiety. No joke. She is just a typical slut now...

Honestly, I can believe that story.

I value my counsellor a lot, and she helps me profoundly, however...

When I spoke about contemplating (last year) seeing prostitutes, but that I felt uncomfortable at the idea of having sex with someone, who doesn't genuinely want to have sex with me, she told me about another client (anonymously of course). Who expressed guilt about going to see prostitutes, and she helped him overcome the guilt.

There seemed to be no spiritual considerations, or exploration of concerns like human trafficking, when discussing the issue.

I used to have a friend who brought up the same thoughts with his counsellor, and she said the same thing to him "Why not?".

Anything, bar violence or abuse, seems to be accepted or even encouraged - as long as you feel good about it. And if you feel guilty or shame about some issue related to sex then it seems like the guilt or shame itself is treated as the issue.

Though I can understand why they have that approach:

1) Casual sex is heavily promoted in society.

2) Traditionally people have been shamed for their sexuality - which in and of itself caused psychological issues. (Rather than simply advised to practice prudence and discernment - for their own well being and others.)

would rep but our rep power is almost identical so I dont' wanna touch it

[playerofwar]

What? Mental illness has been documented for thousands of years and has always existed, anyone who says otherwise has obviously never read medical literature. Some of what you say is partly true, for example some people aren't really depressed, just sad/down and don't wanna fix their issues by themselves so they take meds but don't ever really bother improving or just ldar blaming their problems on depression. However to claim that all of it is made up bull**** in the last century is absolutely ridiculous.

While this is true so is the opposite, many know something is wrong with them but don't know what, so they try dealing it by themselves but it doesn't suffice. I speak from personal experience, and know many who had the same happen to them.

I'm not talking about people with born mental illness, these are very real and can medically be found in the brain. But non medically mentally challenged normal people are getting so many wrong diagnosis and thinking they are depressed or have a burn-out and not working for more than 6 months on end. EVERYONE sometimes has a day where they are stuck on their work and need 1 or 2 days to recover, but resolving the invented burn-out with 6 months of vacation will just result in someone who is ****ed for the rest of their life.

[fezjones]

Quite possibly the dumbest chit I have ever read.

Low T noted

[Muzzlrpress]

I'm proud of you OP, and I hope to see a "Got the clap misc wut do" thread from you soon.

[nm1891]

Low T noted

Lol, you must be trolling with that avi of yours.

[MediocreGains]

In your case, not at all. Obviously, there are people who go to years of therapy for the most inane things, but in your case, you seem to genuinely need it. You know what makes you less of a man? Not taking care of your problems at all and allowing them to control you. Think of therapy as a way of taking back control and addressing your problems.

[TheAdlerian]

Asking for a friend.

Felt like a beta chit in there talking about my feels and chit. Really fuking gay. They didn't have therapy for the millions of men who fought in WW2. Maybe I am less of a man. Too many feels and not enough strength. They really treat you like a vulnerable child there. What do you bros think?

I'm a therapist and always tell people that it's like going to the gym for your mind.

However, I only respect people who actually go to the gym, research what to do, practice it, evaluate how they're going, make a new plan, and keep working at fitness. I don't respect people who go to the gym, don't ever study what to do, come and go, don't push themselves, and so on. I have little respect for people who never go to the gym.

So, I think it's the same with training your mind. If you put the work in to train hard and change, then you're a man/woman/alpha. If you go and ask for help, but really do nothing, don't learn, etc then you're an annoying beta.

We call those "Help rejecting complainers" and that means a weirdo who asks for help but then rejects all attempts one way or another.

[davetrf]

A bitch, that's what it makes you, and also broke

[wickedman]

Nope, preferable, if you go to anyone else, if they are a normal low IQ human they will probably shame / judge you.

The ones that are less of a man go to social media with it.

[TheAdlerian]

A bitch, that's what it makes you, and also broke

I have never charged anyone money.

I have always worked for social institutions.