Depression-Divorce-Alcoholism-Rehab-trying to get back

[nebraskaheat]

So I posted here for awhile a few years back. About 4 or so. The now ex-wife and I had really gotten into bodybuilding and were probably in that time the happiest we had ever been. The only down side was I had started drinking alot more. We had found financial freedom due to her career (psychologist-private practice) taking off and every weekend seemed to be a new party. Numerous vacations, weekend trips to vegas, miami, etc.etc. we were just rewarding ourselves big time for the years of sacrifice to get there. Then the drinking became a daily thing. Then I slowly over the course of a year started always feeling tired, not wanting to workout, sneaking vodka into my coke zero while coaching the kids baseball teams. Sneaking a pint into the bathroom to down in between glasses of whine for dinner.

I started gaining weight, stopped going to the gym, stopped doing much of anything. Then about 2 years ago she left. She was still riding the gym-healthy-life and I was a guy sneaking cigarrettes and vodka in all day long. She left after 17 years, for a "friend" of ours, a boxing coach at our gym.

Sent me into hell. For the next year and a half I basically tried to drink myself to death. Never sober. Isolated myself into a crummy apartment and just went to work (where i snuck drinks in) and came home and drank and cried, cussed at the walls and contemplated different ways to end it all...

Then 5 months ago I walked into the midwests toughest rehab center and got my butt kicked for 4 months in a halfway house. I could tell you stories for hours about the place but lets just say within a few hours of being there I had a new "yell". I had to sit on the floor and bang my fists on the ground screaming "wah wah wah life's not fair that's why i bang on my high chair!!"

It was exactly what I needed. Graduated after 4 months a few weeks ago, moved into a 3/4 house and am now back in the gym. Lost 30 pounds while in the halfway house. Going to be hanging around here some more getting my workout routine back together and looking for tips.

Looking forward to chatting with you.

[CommitmentRulz]

So I posted here for awhile a few years back. About 4 or so. The now ex-wife and I had really gotten into bodybuilding and were probably in that time the happiest we had ever been. The only down side was I had started drinking alot more. We had found financial freedom due to her career (psychologist-private practice) taking off and every weekend seemed to be a new party. Numerous vacations, weekend trips to vegas, miami, etc.etc. we were just rewarding ourselves big time for the years of sacrifice to get there. Then the drinking became a daily thing. Then I slowly over the course of a year started always feeling tired, not wanting to workout, sneaking vodka into my coke zero while coaching the kids baseball teams. Sneaking a pint into the bathroom to down in between glasses of whine for dinner.

I started gaining weight, stopped going to the gym, stopped doing much of anything. Then about 2 years ago she left. She was still riding the gym-healthy-life and I was a guy sneaking cigarrettes and vodka in all day long. She left after 17 years, for a "friend" of ours, a boxing coach at our gym.

Sent me into hell. For the next year and a half I basically tried to drink myself to death. Never sober. Isolated myself into a crummy apartment and just went to work (where i snuck drinks in) and came home and drank and cried, cussed at the walls and contemplated different ways to end it all...

Then 5 months ago I walked into the midwests toughest rehab center and got my butt kicked for 4 months in a halfway house. I could tell you stories for hours about the place but lets just say within a few hours of being there I had a new "yell". I had to sit on the floor and bang my fists on the ground screaming "wah wah wah life's not fair that's why i bang on my high chair!!"

It was exactly what I needed. Graduated after 4 months a few weeks ago, moved into a 3/4 house and am now back in the gym. Lost 30 pounds while in the halfway house. Going to be hanging around here some more getting my workout routine back together and looking for tips.

Looking forward to chatting with you.

Good for you, OP. What are you doing in the gym now?

[JeremyM07201978]

Well done and congratulations on getting sober. I too struggled with alcohol, and i wanted to change. It was hard, but for me, it was the right thing to do, and I am happy to say I'm approaching 15 years sober. The gym was never a part of my life back then, but for me now, it is a big positive thing in my life. Wish you well getting back into it.

[EjnarKolinkar]

KISS
Easy does it
Keep coming back

Good luck amigo.

[Drewie79]

It takes a special kind of courage to come and share this openly. Also, I know this from personal experience, AA groups or any kind of group that you can share problems and talk about them even if they are not related to substances can help a lot.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

[MoldyGopher]

She left after 17 years, for a "friend" of ours, a boxing coach at our gym.

Only took my wife 11!

Welcome back. There's lots of us here with similar battle scars - exercise is valuable therapy in many ways.

[bodyhard]

So my question to you is, what did you do to this so called friend assuming he was your friend and not only hers.

[Tfor2]

congratulations in coming to a time in your life that you felt ready to make a change
keep on changing as many times as it takes
until you are the person you want to be

[KeepItMoving]

Now, stay on that road back. You never totally arrive.

[Karl_Hungus]

Congrats on turning the corner -- some never do. Keep at it!

[nebraskaheat]

Good for you, OP. What are you doing in the gym now?

A 4 day split. Basic old routine. Chest/tris - back biceps-shoulders-core & legs.. No squats or deadlifts as I tore my hamstring a few years back and for whatever reason it aches and shoots pain now. I can only imagine i reinjured it in my drunkeness the last couple years as I had gotten back to deadlifting without issue after the injury before the drinking.

Well done and congratulations on getting sober. I too struggled with alcohol, and i wanted to change. It was hard, but for me, it was the right thing to do, and I am happy to say I'm approaching 15 years sober. The gym was never a part of my life back then, but for me now, it is a big positive thing in my life. Wish you well getting back into it.

Thanks brother!

KISS
Easy does it
Keep coming back

Good luck amigo.

Appreciate it brother!

It takes a special kind of courage to come and share this openly. Also, I know this from personal experience, AA groups or any kind of group that you can share problems and talk about them even if they are not related to substances can help a lot.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

Thank you!

Only took my wife 11!

Welcome back. There's lots of us here with similar battle scars - exercise is valuable therapy in many ways.

It's huge for me. Gets me out of my head and helps get me a good nights sleep. Thanks!

So my question to you is, what did you do to this so called friend assuming he was your friend and not only hers.

I'd like to tell you a whole list of really cool ass things I did. I really just fell apart and drank myself into a stuper dreaming of what I wanted to do to him.

congratulations in coming to a time in your life that you felt ready to make a change
keep on changing as many times as it takes
until you are the person you want to be

Thanks!

Now, stay on that road back. You never totally arrive.

Very true!

Congrats on turning the corner -- some never do. Keep at it!

Appreciated it!

[Big_Sky_Guy]

Congrats and keep making progress!

[bodyhard]

I'd like to tell you a whole list of really cool ass things I did. I really just fell apart and drank myself into a stuper dreaming of what I wanted to do to him.

You are a better man than me brotha I probably would have killed them both. Keep your head up man and glad you found your way! Big ups!

[Aristotelian]

Before anything else - thanks for sharing and the best of luck to you.

Your story starts out so great and one thing I don't get is - how did the drinking become a daily thing? You guys would go wild in Vegas and then when you got back to daily life you missed the alcohol? That's why you started sneaking it into other functions?

My question is also - looking back - why? Were you actually happy given that you were doing this to yourself? I know it'll sound weird but in one sense it seems like you just weren't happy with the success you two were enjoying. I honestly hope you feel better about yourself now.

And great that you're back in the gym too. Keep strong.

[weiss1967]

...I started gaining weight, stopped going to the gym, stopped doing much of anything. Then about 2 years ago she left...

thank you for sharing. Good to hear that you are back to lifting and sober.

so, what are we learning from all this:

1. never stop lifting.

2. boxers win women hearts.

[bobbydigitaloa]

I have some of the similar path in some ways but man, that’s a lot for anyone to handle.

Congrats on changing your path and getting help; many don’t make it that far. I’m here for support!

[Tfor2]

addiction has a mental and physiological component to it

9/10 people can go out to bar together, have a couple drinks, socialize and at closing time they are perfectly content to go home and sleep
then there is that one in the crowd where alcohol actually ramps them up
they wanna go from one bar to another
call every one wimps for not being able to hold their liquor
they're bodies get this reaction that revs them up instead of slow down

their bodies react differently to the booze

yes, at one time
in the beginning, it was a choice
but then quickly went into addiction

they are not ignorant or unaware of the damage it is doing
to themselves, families, work, relationships

how could they not be?
it is not a matter of will power
it is a dependency on a substance

[lotusdeva]

Good for you, OP. What are you doing in the gym now?

Good for you to find the strength to fight this disease. I have been where you ex wife was, it's not a happy place, but also losing someone to this disease is even worse You are alive and sober and even back in the gym, which is a gift many people do not get to experience. There are always ups and downs, but AA/NA is always there and so is the gym I found a world of competition, which gives me a goal and I channel my demons that way. I also met many people with the same addictive personality as me who are in the gym for the same reason That's how we live this life - one day at the time, sometimes one hour at the time, one minute, whatever - we are the lucky ones, as we are still alive

[Garage Rat]

Good going!
Now set a goal for yourself with your bodybuilding back in the gym.
Perhaps a contest or another goal like getting in the best shape of your life.
Strive to achieve it.
If you can get through a rehab you can do the same with a fitness top goal.