help. i think i have an eating disorder..

[falloutpat]

Ok guys here it goes. Its difficult for me to even write this thread because I went back and forth on deciding whether or not i should even post this, basically because I am pretty embarassed to post about this topic. But I thought if I wanna get healthy and get things right then I should.

I have been into fitness and exercising for about 3 years now. When I started out (I was 16) and things got going, and I had good knowledge of proper nutrition and exercising, I would do some form of workout everyday, not cos i wanted to lose weight, but for the feeling of being more fit. and even though my diet was not exactly the cleanest, I would focus on healthy options.

But now, 3 years later, I am getting sort of bored with this fitness thing. i guess i am burning out in a way. I was never really athletic before i found fitness. I would eat pretty much whatever I liked, and stayed home and watched tv. However, I was never overweight in my whole life.

For the past few weeks I have done a lot of binge eating, starving, etc. because I want to lose weight. I am currently at 130 lbs, my heaviest ever, which could be considered on the heavier side for someone who is only 5'2. My parents are always out of the country for business trips, and when they come back they always bring a lot of chocolates, and I end up bingeing on it. Just recently I went on vacation and we had free buffet three times a day. So I guess you already have an idea of what it is like.

I read this article http://www.teenbodybuilding.com/jeremy3.htm on bb.com and saw that my behavior applies to a lot of what is described on the article. And it made me realize that I may have a binge eating disorder. Even though I am not a loner, I have a lot of friends, but sometimes I can't help but feel a bit insecure around my slimmer friends, and from also what I see on tv or in magazines. I guess I am going through a phase where I am having a lot of body issues. I always look at myself in the mirror and pinpoint my trouble spots.

This has been an issue for the past few weeks and i want to fix it before it goes bad. Thanks for reading, I know this was a long post.

[blondemachine]

are you still training?
if you feel you are burning out maybe you are getting bored with your current training. Try and find exercises/workouts you enjoy.

If i dont train i find i do the binge eating cycle but if i am training i need to eat well for energy to lift, so please, you need to do some sort of training, it is fantastic for your health and well being.

If you feel your binge eating is getting out of control, get some help before it goes to far. good luck

[-Michele-]

It is very brave of you to be honest like this. I applaud that, and I think just coming to terms with the issues you are facing is the first step in overcoming them. You are not alone, although it may feel as if you are right now. Keep talking about it, keep asking questions, and keep faith in yourself. Maybe the gym isn't the best place to go, if you are feeling burned out, but why not go for a bike ride or get outside? That way, you can get those endorphins going while distracting yourself from all of that food.

[TurbulentFluid]

Started at 16, been into fitness for 3 years... means you're 19. Basically, you're still a kid.
Now many people here won't agree, but I advocate the fact that fitness and bb-ing isn't really for kids. Kids should be outside, playing. Maybe I'm old-fashioned here, but I think fitness and bb-ing, specially as a hobby, requires a lot of focus and discipline that kids simply can't do, what with their parents bringing them chocolate, their friends taking them out for pizza... The works. I was a kid too, and when I was 19 there would be NO WAY I could maintain a social life and a bb-ing shedule. Now it's very different.
I binge too, sometimes, when I'm bulking, but now, as a grown-up, I have much less cravings and stuff than I did when I was a kid, and it's much easier to say "now you'll STOP eating."

So my advice: get out of the house, leave the TV alone, and join a club that does some sport that interests you - karate, soccer, handball, basketball, water polo,whatever, as long as it includes "a group" and "a trainer". It'll get you out of the house, give you a sense of goal, and make you focus on your stuff. If it's a team sport, you'll want to excel for the sake of the team, because if you screw up everyone else gets screwed. This also forms strong bonds/friendships with the right, supportive people that share the same goal - to win the next game. It'll be much easier to decline that piece of chocolate if you know you'll run slower on Sunday game and ruin it for everybody...

Just a thought...

[frolik]

Started at 16, been into fitness for 3 years... means you're 19. Basically, you're still a kid.
Now many people here won't agree, but I advocate the fact that fitness and bb-ing isn't really for kids. Kids should be outside, playing. Maybe I'm old-fashioned here, but I think fitness and bb-ing, specially as a hobby, requires a lot of focus and discipline that kids simply can't do, what with their parents bringing them chocolate, their friends taking them out for pizza... The works. I was a kid too, and when I was 19 there would be NO WAY I could maintain a social life and a bb-ing shedule. Now it's very different.
I binge too, sometimes, when I'm bulking, but now, as a grown-up, I have much less cravings and stuff than I did when I was a kid, and it's much easier to say "now you'll STOP eating."

So my advice: get out of the house, leave the TV alone, and join a club that does some sport that interests you - karate, soccer, handball, basketball, water polo,whatever, as long as it includes "a group" and "a trainer". It'll get you out of the house, give you a sense of goal, and make you focus on your stuff. If it's a team sport, you'll want to excel for the sake of the team, because if you screw up everyone else gets screwed. This also forms strong bonds/friendships with the right, supportive people that share the same goal - to win the next game. It'll be much easier to decline that piece of chocolate if you know you'll run slower on Sunday game and ruin it for everybody...

Just a thought...

I'm sorry, what's the difference between 19 and 25... college, as opposed to a job?? Pardon me, I don't see much of a difference. Most teens here aren't particularly obsessive about bb, nor should they be. Plus, it's perfectly possible to be on a team and bb. Many of my friends on the cheerleading squad compete- and win- regularly, and there's no chance whatsoever of us giving up our social lives.

Bingeing is COMPLETELY different when it's disordered eating. It's fueled by emotion, not by craving, and it's not nearly as easy to say "it'll make me run slower in the game and ruin it for everyone, so I'll stop." For me, at least, I know that the concept of "ruining it for everyone" would make me binge MORE. Also, there's a lot of all-or-nothing thinking: I already started bingeing, so there's no point stopping now! It's a constant struggle to decline a single piece of chocolate.



Great job admitting that, Pat, and good luck in combating it! Feel free to PM me- I've only been bbing for a few months, but I've been athletic for years, and had pretty much every manifestation of eating disorders. Try and nip it in the bud before it becomes a very serious problem.

[TurbulentFluid]

I think there's a great difference between 19 and 25. Just like there's a great difference between 25 and 50, and why most 50-year-olds tell us 25-year-olds, with a sigh,
"some day, you'll learn..."
"some day, you'll understand..."

At 19 people are very emotional and live for the DAY. At 25, you start realising there's tomorrow and plenty of it, and many issues lose meaning and don't matter anymore. As for work/school I wouldn't know, I do both ATM.

For some examples:

19:
- still growing, body needs more food and greater total kcal intake, more difficult to control the apetite
- great peer pressure
- huge emotional stress due to teen hormones growing wild
- resorting to binge eating

25:
- growing stopped, easier to control the apetite
- lesser peer pressure in the sense that you stop caring the way teens do
- lesser emotional stress due to higher level of maturity (teen: "I have a pimple I have a pimple I HAVE A PIMPLE!!!" Grownup: "Um... so?"
- ability to better control one's impulses, find reasons to ones actions and act to solve the actual problems (teen: "chocolate chocolate chocolate" Grownup: "OK, this bar of chocolate won't help the fact that WHATEVER. I have to solve WHATEVER. Let's go."

I understand bingeing as I do it too, but I manage to pull myself out of it. But knowing me for extra 6 years makes it much easier now, than it was at 19 (when I didn't have any control at all, and would binge and then feel horrible which made me binge MORE.)


In essence, I think a 19 yo is less likely than a 25 yo who is less likely than a 50 yo to maintain discipline and proper schedule.
And of course one can BB and do other sports.

[mommyfisc]

i knew older teens and young 20's when i was younger who did kickboxing as a hobby ....they were in great shape! and had tons of fun doing it.......................

[ermyster67]

My name is Erin. I graduated with a psychology degree with a emphasis in ED. I also lived it myself. If you want to talk more about what you have been going through feel free to email me. Ermyster67@aol.com. I speak to college classes all the time about the difficult part of my life i went through and how they can help themselfs. It is great that you are seeing a pattern so soon. It means you know yourself very well. Please either email me! Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone you dont know.

Erin

[barefootboo]

i am recovering from ed as well. i was a compulsive overeater, turned bulimic THEN anorretic and had the whole thing for 7 yrs i'm SICK of it.

i was 163 lbs (from compulsive eating) and went all the way down to 85 lbs. my height's close to yours, 5'1". however after i achieved my lowest w8 - to the point when i lost all the muscle mass i used to have (i played rugby + soccer before), my blood pressure went down to 80/50, dropped out of college i felt that i was done with it.

now its been 2 months since i started running again, and started w8 training for the first time. i put on some 15 pounds, i was worried with the lack of portruding bones and stuff but guess what? my enthusiasm to gain more muscle mass, i feel, is somewhat stronger.

the most important part:
then i discovered that i somehow felt 'now that i know i could be 85 lbs, be the thinnest girl in college and live the life being THIN not like 163 lbs pig, i'm tired of dieting now lets move on to another goal'.

maybe its the same thing with you. try to find out whether you want to look trim (which is ok) or you take being bony as a 'challenge'?

just for you to know... you dont want to get into ed. it took me only 8 months being anorretic to stop menstruating (now its irregular) and have my digestive system screwed up. and, bmr of 900ish, meaning i had to eat below 500 cal to lose w8, and less and less.

you can pm me if you need any help, girl!

[Jordyn]

For the past few weeks I have done a lot of binge eating, starving, etc. because I want to lose weight.

i do this sometimes too as of late. but i guess not to the extreme. and the over-eating always outweighs the under-eating.

the most important part:
then i discovered that i somehow felt 'now that i know i could be 85 lbs, be the thinnest girl in college and live the life being THIN not like 163 lbs pig, i'm tired of dieting now lets move on to another goal'.

i can relate to that sentiment. i think this is good advice. bc EDs all in the head, imo.

[Samantha905]

i always seem to eat really well for a few days then blow it and binge on like 4000kcals. Im too ashamed to tell my mum the real truth of why ive gained a bit of weight (used to be 112lbs) although some of it is muscle. But because i appear to workout alot if i say to anyone ive gained weight they get angry with me and think im attetion seeking - they say you cant be fat becuase all you do is workout and hardly eat. If i even mention that im not happy with my fat level everyone rolls their eyes, my nan thinks im too skinny and tries to force feed me aswell!

Like people have said, boredom+stress=bad binge. I mostly get bored and have nothing to do. im fine at scholl but weekend is when it turns nasty. It really upsets me

[Jodi_Lane]

And it made me realize that I may have a binge eating disorder.

I guess I am going through a phase where I am having a lot of body issues. I always look at myself in the mirror and pinpoint my trouble spots.

This has been an issue for the past few weeks and i want to fix it before it goes bad. Thanks for reading, I know this was a long post.

Hey girl, It's probably a good thing you came out about this issue, because that's what helped me. I actually was bulimic for a year or more. It's nothing comfortable THAT is for sure. I can't even believe (to this day) that I was bulimic! Never thought it would happen to me...gosh.

Ok, so it sounds like you're obsessing with some issues you have with your body. You're really not overweight and you sound pretty smart to me... I'd say that if you really think about things you'll realize you look fine, but can use moderate fitness to get you looking great.

The reason why you're getting totally bored with fitness is because you're binge eating. When a person binge eats, then starves themselves...your body is NOT going to give up any of those calories/fat from the days that you binge eat. So, your body is storing fat like crazy. The fitness you're doing is not yielding results because of this...that'll cause a person that is totally interested in fitness to lose total sight of fitness and give up.

What you need to do first off, is realize that you're going to look hawt in your own body. Even if you're not shaped exactly like some girls on the front cover of magazines, you'll still be hot. Just make your body the healthiest and the best it can be! Work with what God gave you. That's what I'm doing right now w/ my body. I have SMALL boobs and huge hips...what am I doing to better that? I'm building a lot of upper body muscle to match my width on my lower body! Working GREAT!

If you're actually craving these chocolates and sweets (then binge) you could have the same problem I have....Hypoglycemia. Low blood sugar in other words!!! That can totally cause a person to go crazy with sweets and not be able to stop eating them once you start. Your body literally gets addicted to the high levels of sugar intake and then it craves it just like a heroine addict or like ciggarete addiction!!! Wew!
Try PLANNING out your diet.

Eat every 2 to 3 hours, only lean foods....Message me on here and I can give you a diet plan to use for a week. It helps you to not crave anything really. And that could help your binge!!!

Also, PM me if you have any other questions... I know exactly what it is like to overcome these types of issues.

Hugs,
FNF

[smdiskin]

Hi Falloutpat,
It's great that you feel you can come to this group for some sensible support.
I think we all go through phases of emotional turmoil which for many of us is reflected in upsets to our eating patterns. I won't say don't worry about it... these things happen. What is good is that you have recognised it now, before it potentially becomes a real pproblem or pattern, looking for help is great... talk to someone if you can to help work through it.... Things do eventually get better..... even if it doesn't look like it now....


On another matter....

19:
- still growing, body needs more food and greater total kcal intake, more difficult to control the apetite
- great peer pressure
- huge emotional stress due to teen hormones growing wild
- resorting to binge eating

25:
- growing stopped, easier to control the apetite
- lesser peer pressure in the sense that you stop caring the way teens do
- lesser emotional stress due to higher level of maturity (teen: "I have a pimple I have a pimple I HAVE A PIMPLE!!!" Grownup: "Um... so?"
- ability to better control one's impulses, find reasons to ones actions and act to solve the actual problems (teen: "chocolate chocolate chocolate" Grownup: "OK, this bar of chocolate won't help the fact that WHATEVER. I have to solve WHATEVER. Let's go."

I understand bingeing as I do it too, but I manage to pull myself out of it. But knowing me for extra 6 years makes it much easier now, than it was at 19 (when I didn't have any control at all, and would binge and then feel horrible which made me binge MORE.)


In essence, I think a 19 yo is less likely than a 25 yo who is less likely than a 50 yo to maintain discipline and proper schedule.
And of course one can BB and do other sports.

I'm sorry I just had to comment..... Most 19 year olds are past the adolescent immaturity you are suggesting... and those that aren't will probably never grow up.
Most 19 year old women have long stopped growing... skeleton has not achieved its max density... not the same thing.... so require similar food inputs as at 25. If the hormones are still rampaging like at 13 there is a problem....
And being 25 does not give a person more or less willpower.
Absolutely a 19 year old and a 25 year old are likely to have different things impinging on their time and emotions, but come on....
There are many women even older than that who binge etc....
And I really don't think a 50 year old is more likely than at 25 or 19 year old to stick to a schedule.... after we leave school and our lives are not being organised for us, it really comes down to personality....
I think you are paying the average 19 yo a great disservice... Sorry...

[emzpony]

hey so i read about your eating disorder on a thread. im recovering from a massive weight loss right now, and im under ALOT of stress. i havent had anyone to talk to it about. my parents are both humiliated by it and my doctor really doesnt seem to know what shes doing (honestly, all she told me to do was eat more thats all) and my boyfriend means well but he jsut doesnt seem to understand. i feel really insecure adn i really am trying to gain teh weight back. ive been eating about 2400 calories a day adn im slowly recovering. i really wnat to gain muscle mass, but i seem to also be gaining fat. i know that now isnt a good time for me to be self conciouse about fat, but it DOES bother me. i was jsut wondering if you had any advice. is there a way to gain lean mass? or should i jsut forget about it and try to live with my imperfections?

[SuziCue]

Hi. First, good for you for being honest and seeking help. The internet is full of good information but honestly, it's not the best place to seek a diagnosis such as an eating disorder. The best thing you can do for yourself is to talk to someone that is trained in the area. If you have no resources near you, you can call the national eating disorder hotline at 1-800-931-2237 or the eat right hotline (advice on eating, exercise and diet) at 1-800-231-3438. I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us posted.

[LiftingIsLife]

On another matter....

I'm sorry I just had to comment..... Most 19 year olds are past the adolescent immaturity you are suggesting... and those that aren't will probably never grow up.... after we leave school and our lives are not being organised for us, it really comes down to personality....

i'm sorry, but your argument TOTALLY breakdowns with your last statement. you see, here in the US and most industrialized nations in the free world, the MAJORITY (upwards of 65%) of 19 year olds ARE STILL IN SCHOOL. and yes, they are VERY IMMATURE compared to the general adult population, and VERY affected by peer pressure. i dont believe it comes down to 'personality' at this age, as they have very limited exposure to the real, working world at that tender age of 19.
of course, there ARE exceptions, but by and large, i must agree with the original comments/descriptions that TF made....

I think you are paying the average 19 yo a great disservice... Sorry...

nope. 19 is 19. too old for diapers, but too young to be left on their
own to decipher their complex lives........

best,
~lifer

[smdiskin]

i'm sorry, but your argument TOTALLY breakdowns with your last statement. you see, here in the US and most industrialized nations in the free world, the MAJORITY (upwards of 65%) of 19 year olds ARE STILL IN SCHOOL. and yes, they are VERY IMMATURE compared to the general adult population, and VERY affected by peer pressure. i dont believe it comes down to 'personality' at this age, as they have very limited exposure to the real, working world at that tender age of 19.
of course, there ARE exceptions, but by and large, i must agree with the original comments/descriptions that TF made....



nope. 19 is 19. too old for diapers, but too young to be left on their
own to decipher their complex lives........

best,
~lifer

I never said 19 was as mature as 25 etc, however a 19 year old is an adult and if you think it is only young people who are influenced by peer pressure, then I suggest you take a very good look at people of all age groups, and you will find that people from all age groups and backgrounds are affected by peer pressure to a greater or lesser extent, it really is a personality thing.

Sorry but I too grew up in the Free World (Ireland and the UK) ... and actually still live there (Botswana)... and I'm not sure what kind of sheltered place you live but most 19 year olds have left school (or perhaps you mean university too... in which case there are still not 65% of 19 year olds in education) in most of the world (free or otherwise)... many have jobs, are married and/or have children and are quite mature, different to 25, but you do learn with age. I left school at 17 and was mentally mature if socially naive. I left home at that age, as do so many others around the world and unlike so many others in the Free World I was mature enough not to get involved in antisocial behaviours, debt (other than a mortgage) etc.
The government obviously thinks 18 is mature enough to vote.... I could go on...
Out of curiosity, at what age do you think people are mature?
Maturity is a gradual process, and I think the original poster was very mature in coming to this website for sensible information from people she hoped could give her some impartial advice without judgement. Whether it is the right place to go or not is a question for maturity... an immature place to go would have been some of the forums on other websites where advice would be dubious to say the least.
I stand by my original statement that 19 is certainly mature enough to look after yourself and make personal decisions, but agree it is probably not mature enough to run the country... though seeing the maturity level of some national leaders....

[leyway]

We have almost the same stats except I'm an inch taller and WAS 131 - my ultimate heaviest ever. And who doesn't have body image issues? I think everyone has them, if people were contented with how they look then gyms would probably go out of business. Trust me , i think i know how you feel. I used to binge on donuts, cookies, potato chips, pizza you name it.. I think everyone here on BB.com has had set backs but its not about failing your diet but more importantly its whether or not your going to stop beating yourself up and do something to turn things around. I think the reason why your feeling "over it" is because your not getting the results you want. Just try to clean up your diet and train hard and trust me you'll see things turn around.

[nacersusaf]

i do this sometimes too as of late. but i guess not to the extreme. and the over-eating always outweighs the under-eating.

To be honest Jordyn, a lot of your posts worry me too...

Don't you think that any Binge eating behavior is kind of extreme? It seems like you are trying to downplay yours. Also, I don't think you can really "balance it out" like you say. That statement brings to mind the practice of binging and purging IMO.

... I guess I'm just saying that I don't see your post as being helpful to someone who is trying to cope with a potential eating disorder, and seek advice for it.

[Starlight01]

I agree that any binge eating is extreme.

People who eat normally just dont do it.

[Shera]

Ok guys here it goes. Its difficult for me to even write this thread because I went back and forth on deciding whether or not i should even post this, basically because I am pretty embarassed to post about this topic. But I thought if I wanna get healthy and get things right then I should.

I have been into fitness and exercising for about 3 years now. When I started out (I was 16) and things got going, and I had good knowledge of proper nutrition and exercising, I would do some form of workout everyday, not cos i wanted to lose weight, but for the feeling of being more fit. and even though my diet was not exactly the cleanest, I would focus on healthy options.

But now, 3 years later, I am getting sort of bored with this fitness thing. i guess i am burning out in a way. I was never really athletic before i found fitness. I would eat pretty much whatever I liked, and stayed home and watched tv. However, I was never overweight in my whole life.

For the past few weeks I have done a lot of binge eating, starving, etc. because I want to lose weight. I am currently at 130 lbs, my heaviest ever, which could be considered on the heavier side for someone who is only 5'2. My parents are always out of the country for business trips, and when they come back they always bring a lot of chocolates, and I end up bingeing on it. Just recently I went on vacation and we had free buffet three times a day. So I guess you already have an idea of what it is like.

I read this article http://www.teenbodybuilding.com/jeremy3.htm on bb.com and saw that my behavior applies to a lot of what is described on the article. And it made me realize that I may have a binge eating disorder. Even though I am not a loner, I have a lot of friends, but sometimes I can't help but feel a bit insecure around my slimmer friends, and from also what I see on tv or in magazines. I guess I am going through a phase where I am having a lot of body issues. I always look at myself in the mirror and pinpoint my trouble spots.

This has been an issue for the past few weeks and i want to fix it before it goes bad. Thanks for reading, I know this was a long post.

you think 130 is heavy for 5'2"??? shoot im in trouble then...dont focus on the number on the scale silly!

[lollerskatez]

i too believe i had an ed over the past few months, although i find it very hard to admit. i wouldn't say i was anoerexic but i was probably eating max 600 cals a day if i was lucky. i got to the point where i looked fairly gaunt and my skin got all dried out, my mom confronted me about it when she saw me one week and told me i need to stop it. it took me awhile to get used to eating normal again, i probably am still not for the most part, but its a step in teh right direction. if you need someone to talk to , let me know. i would love to talk about this with someone else.