Misc Sober Crew Recovery/Sobriety Support

[2010JW]

I don’t think that’s hypocritical of you; you have just grown out of that desire to smoke and have been experiencing the pleasures of being lucid lol.

I used to smoke hard and looking back, I’m glad I don’t anymore for the very reason you mentioned. I would just **** around and not accomplish much. I wouldn’t say it’s the fault of weed, but I always would be less motivated while smoking.

Definitely lots of benefit to not smoking and/or using other substances including alcohol; saving money is certainly a great benefit haha.

Yeah I guess so! lol. It's crazy, I enjoy music and anything else as much if not more than when I was high af. Even hiking, thought that was just because I was high but every experience is more vivid and great.

So true. Once you smoked that good good, the motivation went out the window and you just wanted to chill. Now if something needs to be done, it gets done right away without putting it for the next day.

Congrats on reaching 60. Don't give up, soon you will stop counting and it will become normality to not be thinking about alcohol no mo

[resoog]

well i wasn't going to take sobriety srsly until a week and a half ago. my guess is since i started drinking when i was 18 irresponsibly i never gave myself a chance to drink responsibly, never wanted to. i gave it another shot recently but now i'm giving up. no more beer for me brahs. may do AA

[Joeyw88]

well i wasn't going to take sobriety srsly until a week and a half ago. my guess is since i started drinking when i was 18 irresponsibly i never gave myself a chance to drink responsibly, never wanted to. i gave it another shot recently but now i'm giving up. no more beer for me brahs. may do AA

Hey, welcome to the thread! What made you reflect on your drinking and believe that it has been detrimental to your life? Or at least maybe not enough benefit to costs now. Sobriety is pretty simple enough; it’s much more challenging and complex to remain sober (for me at least lol).

I have finally gotten some semblance of getting my **** together. In the time that I started mental health court last March to now, I struggled hard. Kept relapsing, having positive UAs (therefore sanctions), being kicked out of Oxford housing, and eventually terminated from mental health court.

I’ve now learned (the hard way) that successful recovery really relies on developing a social support network in your life in addition to changing more in your life other than “stop using” lol. Now, you don’t necessarily need connections to be successful in recovery. However, I’ve seen and personally witnessed more success by getting involved in the recovery community. And that’s why I am glad this thread is stickied; we can support each other!

As far as AA goes, that can help some people. I’m not the biggest fan of it, but still sometimes go. I personally prefer alternatives like SMART Recovery or Recovery Dharma. Like the connection piece, not everyone needs to go to meetings to be more successful, but those that regularly attend seem to do better. For me, the SMART Recovery and kratom support meetings help a lot.

[0rders]

Ive been doing good, lifting hard and living life. However im drinking again because I despise my relationship, and also would be better off alone srs. Im only 26 and Im not ready for a nagging relationship where I do the hard lifting. My gf is depressed so I guess im a cuck for not cutting the robes. its like we are 60 and been married for 40 years. If I open a beer to watch a football game after a night after a long day of work ill get nagged on. I cook, I clean and still I have to answer stupid questions wether or not im drinking 2 or 3 beers during the 90 minute football game? Brahs tell me if this is normal or not because I am sick of it. My physique is decent, I lift hard, got a great job and think im pretty decent. Wat do?

[AlBHappy]

Ive been doing good, lifting hard and living life. However im drinking again because I despise my relationship, and also would be better off alone srs. Im only 26 and Im not ready for a nagging relationship where I do the hard lifting. My gf is depressed so I guess im a cuck for not cutting the robes. its like we are 60 and been married for 40 years. If I open a beer to watch a football game after a night after a long day of work ill get nagged on. I cook, I clean and still I have to answer stupid questions wether or not im drinking 2 or 3 beers during the 90 minute football game? Brahs tell me if this is normal or not because I am sick of it. My physique is decent, I lift hard, got a great job and think im pretty decent. Wat do?

Dump girlfriend, quit drinking. Neither is making you happy. You're in a toxic relationship.

[2010JW]

Ive been doing good, lifting hard and living life. However im drinking again because I despise my relationship, and also would be better off alone srs. Im only 26 and Im not ready for a nagging relationship where I do the hard lifting. My gf is depressed so I guess im a cuck for not cutting the robes. its like we are 60 and been married for 40 years. If I open a beer to watch a football game after a night after a long day of work ill get nagged on. I cook, I clean and still I have to answer stupid questions wether or not im drinking 2 or 3 beers during the 90 minute football game? Brahs tell me if this is normal or not because I am sick of it. My physique is decent, I lift hard, got a great job and think im pretty decent. Wat do?

Get out of that hole brah. At 26 you've got your whole future ahead of you. Dump that weight that is holding you down

[0rders]

Dump girlfriend, quit drinking. Neither is making you happy. You're in a toxic relationship.

Get out of that hole brah. At 26 you've got your whole future ahead of you. Dump that weight that is holding you down

Yeah you guys are right. I should just break it off and live my life

[resoog]

Hey, welcome to the thread! What made you reflect on your drinking and believe that it has been detrimental to your life? Or at least maybe not enough benefit to costs now. Sobriety is pretty simple enough; it’s much more challenging and complex to remain sober (for me at least lol).

I have finally gotten some semblance of getting my **** together. In the time that I started mental health court last March to now, I struggled hard. Kept relapsing, having positive UAs (therefore sanctions), being kicked out of Oxford housing, and eventually terminated from mental health court.

I’ve now learned (the hard way) that successful recovery really relies on developing a social support network in your life in addition to changing more in your life other than “stop using” lol. Now, you don’t necessarily need connections to be successful in recovery. However, I’ve seen and personally witnessed more success by getting involved in the recovery community. And that’s why I am glad this thread is stickied; we can support each other!

As far as AA goes, that can help some people. I’m not the biggest fan of it, but still sometimes go. I personally prefer alternatives like SMART Recovery or Recovery Dharma. Like the connection piece, not everyone needs to go to meetings to be more successful, but those that regularly attend seem to do better. For me, the SMART Recovery and kratom support meetings help a lot.

I can't enjoy it unless I have at least four drinks, I drink by myself and stay up sometimes to wait until six and drive while tipsy to get another 12 or 24 pack, go to work drunk and drink when I get home. I also have a mental health disorder that stays pretty dormant unless I smoke or drink or stay up. It's a necessity for me to be sober, and I don't make enough money to spend lots on cigarettes, weed and alcohol anyways. Former meth addict checkin' in as well, I just have one of those personalities. I already posted a couple times in this thread when I was on the fence. It's all over now though. I have half a pack of cigarettes and was gonna get on the vape, but now I think I'm just going to drop everything except caffeine, maybe energy drinks like that crazy wrastler X-Pac, formerly known as 1-2-3 Kid

[Joeyw88]

Ive been doing good, lifting hard and living life. However im drinking again because I despise my relationship, and also would be better off alone srs. Im only 26 and Im not ready for a nagging relationship where I do the hard lifting. My gf is depressed so I guess im a cuck for not cutting the robes. its like we are 60 and been married for 40 years. If I open a beer to watch a football game after a night after a long day of work ill get nagged on. I cook, I clean and still I have to answer stupid questions wether or not im drinking 2 or 3 beers during the 90 minute football game? Brahs tell me if this is normal or not because I am sick of it. My physique is decent, I lift hard, got a great job and think im pretty decent. Wat do?

Like I pose to others; I think it’s helpful to ask yourself if there really is a problem. For some people, they can drink a few beers, even near daily, and moderate their use. If you feel that you can’t, then I believe this exercise is still good because it will motivate you and remind yourself why you want a life of sobriety/recovery during tougher times. As far as your relationship goes, it sounds like it is potentially toxic. At the very least, it sounds like you aren’t very happen with where you’re at in life and your current situation.

A cost-benefit analysis would be good to do not just for your drinking, but also for your relationship. Seeing the pros and cons written on a page might help to put you on the path to a life that you want. Either way, we will be here to support you any way possible!


And happy Tuesday everyone lol. Hopefully everyone had a fun, safe, and sober Memorial Day weekend! I have continued to do well in my recovery! It’s nice to have a consistent, not ****ing depressing, and enjoyable life. Very much appreciated after all the dumb **** I’ve done through my addiction lol. Weather here has been beautiful and I was able to get a nice long walk in.

[2010JW]

That was nice

[Joeyw88]

That was nice

Hows your day going brah?

Today's been a good day for me so far. I'm hoping that others are having a similar experience.

[resoog]

the sobriety is for me still alcohol. even though it is legal, it stimulates too much dopamine in my brain. i have suffered from dopamine depletion and it wasn't lovey dovie. i'm not willing to go through that again, for heavensakes

[Joeyw88]

the sobriety is for me still alcohol. even though it is legal, it stimulates too much dopamine in my brain. i have suffered from dopamine depletion and it wasn't lovey dovie. i'm not willing to go through that again, for heavensakes

Honestly, some of the legal substances are the worst lol. It's too bad that society often conflates legality with severity. It's getting better, but people still accept alcohol much more than other substances. I still hear "drugs and alcohol" as if there's a distinction lol

Sorry for the little tirade. I'm sorry to hear that you have experienced your dopamine getting all ****ed up. It's so challenging with our addictions hijack that reward system which was meant to keep us alive (food and sex both release dopamine obviously). So our brains start to associate substance use with survival!

It takes time, but the brain has some plasticity even as we age!

[DTRrex]

Well - it's been a couple weeks and had a pretty major setback brahs and brahettes.

Quick Synopsis as I am looking as this as a restart... so for those new:
- rarely or at least responsibly drank through teens and 20's. Was normal to go weeks or months without a single drink. Just didn't interest me.
- late 20's / early 30's I found my way into a high stress finance career and started drinking 3-4x a week after work for stress relief. It wasn't ideal, but it was under control.
- Fast forward a couple years of that and my mom (who I was very close with), was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She beat it the first time when I was in high school, but not this time.
- Dad with mental illness, I'm the oldest among sisters and I had to look after them, mom slowly wasted away and the world suddenly rested on my shoulders. What used to be low level anxiety turned into constant, overwhelming anxiety where I used alcohol as a coping mechanism.

My mom passed away 4 years ago and I've been trying to get control of my drinking ever since. I went 2.5 years without A SINGLE DAY without alcohol and in 2019 miraculously tapered down and got sober for 2 months. Since then, over the last 2 years I've gone through cycles of months of heavy drinking and then a few weeks of sobriety, just to reset into drinking.

My heavy drinking relapses were often brought about by extreme stress from work or the death of those close to me (lost a few people.close to me in the last few years).

Never drinking during the day, and I am very successful in my work life, but I let my health (physical and mental slip and relationships have suffered).

I made a commitment to get sober for a long while, if not forever, a few weeks back in this thread. I was making very slow progress in my taper (down from 15+ drinks a night to 3 drinks a night) and then caught bad Covid. It's a common past-time of mine to drink when I feel sick because it numbs the crappy feeling (not when I have a fever). I was weak and gave in, and spiraled.

So here I am. Back at square one. I've been back to 1 bottle a night for a handful of days now. Time to restart the taper process and pray I get sober this time.

I'm giving myself a week. If I can't do it myself (I've done it before) I am going to rehab.

I hope my failings aren't a deterrent to others, but instead offer hope that we all fail in these trials and tribulations. It's my story of success that I hope will help others like me that too often feel like they're on a hamster wheel of addiction.

Sun 05/29 - 16.5 units or 25 oz of scotch
Mon 05/30 - 16.5 units or 25 oz of vodka
Mon 05/31 - 16.5 units or 25 oz of vodka
Tue 06/01 - 10 units or 15 oz of vodka

[Joeyw88]

Good evening miscers! How has everyone’s day been?

[DTRrex]

Sun 05/29 - 16.5 units or 25 oz of scotch
Mon 05/30 - 16.5 units or 25 oz of vodka
Mon 05/31 - 16.5 units or 25 oz of vodka
Tue 06/01 - 10 units or 15 oz of vodka

Wed 06/02 - 7 units or 35 oz of wine

[Joeyw88]

Sun 05/29 - 16.5 units or 25 oz of scotch
Mon 05/30 - 16.5 units or 25 oz of vodka
Mon 05/31 - 16.5 units or 25 oz of vodka
Tue 06/01 - 10 units or 15 oz of vodka

Wed 06/02 - 7 units or 35 oz of wine

Hey thanks for the update! That's a nice drop from 25oz to 15! I wish I was able to taper as a to become sober eventually, but I just couldn't have stuff in my possession without using it all as fast as I could. Sometimes I'd do well for a while and then end up using just as much as before.

I recommend following sober social media pages. It's a passive kind of therapy that can pop in your feed and act as a reminder of how wasteful drinking is.

Stay sober my friends.

I second this, good suggestion! I've found that to be helpful at times. You can see inspirational **** or people's war stories to help remind you why you want a life in recovery.

On that note, I have been working on building my social support. I'm an introvert and usually isolate, especially while being deep in my addiction. Everyone should look into if where you live has a recovery community. I know that I am incredibly blessed to life in a city which has a super solid recovery community. I highly recommend looking into that because having that social support is so key to recovery.

Not everyone absolutely needs to have that support and can stay sober alone, but for me it makes a huge difference. It's especially nice because you are surrounded by other people in recovery and can help one another. One of the things I like about the recovery community here is that there are a few local recovery cafes. They serve lunch and then later dinner, which is free for members. They also have recovery coaches who can help guide you as well as other activities that goes on there.

Sorry, I don't mean to be all gushy lol. I just am so grateful to have the opportunity to engage in activities with like minded people. Here's what I had for lunch at the cafe:

[2010JW]

Hows your day going brah?

Today's been a good day for me so far. I'm hoping that others are having a similar experience.

Going decent, tried to cut my own hair and fade it myself, left a circle in the back and you can really tell.. still gonna go out like that, because fuk it, everything else looks good

Gonna go to a rave with some old friends I haven't seen in a year, this time around I will not be high and am excited to be there being sober and not a high af idiot! feels good man, because I always needed to take a hit before social activities to take away anxiety, which in turn made me more inhibited. feels badman but that's the past!

How's your day?

Stay strong brahs , the weekend is here and a natural high is more beautiful than any other substance we think we need!

[Joeyw88]

Going decent, tried to cut my own hair and fade it myself, left a circle in the back and you can really tell.. still gonna go out like that, because fuk it, everything else looks good

Gonna go to a rave with some old friends I haven't seen in a year, this time around I will not be high and am excited to be there being sober and not a high af idiot! feels good man, because I always needed to take a hit before social activities to take away anxiety, which in turn made me more inhibited. feels badman but that's the past!

How's your day?

Stay strong brahs , the weekend is here and a natural high is more beautiful than any other substance we think we need!

Lol hell yeah! Way better and cheaper to cut your own hair. I just buzz mine since I don't have the skills to do anything else with it lol. I'm sure going to that rave with be a ton of fun and you'll get to experience it in a new light instead of depending on substances to make it "enjoyable".

My day has been pretty solid. Slept in, had my mental health session, and then grocery shopped. Now I'm chilling and playing a video game, probably gonna go have me a bowl. A bowl of Froot Loops lol.

[e1739]

Have gone 28 days without drinking. Feeling the urge today brahs.

Edit: made it boys. Another sober night of sleep. Stay strong all. Someone is going through the same thing you are. You're in good company.

[Joeyw88]

Good evening everyone! I hope that everyone has had a relatively good day today! Please share any victories or especially struggles! I can’t speak to everyone’s thoughts, but for me, hearing/people share the good and the bad helps my recovery a lot.

I also find it beneficial for myself to take about daily wins and/or losses as well as sharing more long term ups and downs. My weekend has been going really help. I’ve been having a super lax day and it’s nice to rest and play some video games.

Yesterday was especially a good day for me because the kindness that a stranger showed me. Let me preface the story with this: I know getting into a stranger’s vehicle is a bad idea, but I feel that I could hold my own. I was walking back from the store with a duck ton of groceries and it started raining pretty heavily. It was about another mile of walking, but definitely doable with small moments of rest.

This guy pulled to the side of the road and offered me a ride home. I took him up on it which saved me the effort and time of walking home. Things like this are appreciated not just because it saved me effort, but also because it reminds me that there are still good people out there. Not everyone is a dick lol. I need to find a way to pay it forward. However, I don’t feel obligated to. I do my best to help people and good causes on a daily basis.

Edit:

Have gone 28 days without drinking. Feeling the urge today brahs.

Edit: made it boys. Another sober night of sleep. Stay strong all. Someone is going through the same thing you are. You're in good company.

Hey, I completely missed your post! My aplogies. That is ****ing awesome; almost a month of not drinking is not easy. Glad you made it though yesterday without a drink!

[Joeyw88]

Hey what’s up everyone? Has is everyone’s recovery going? Mines been mostly good and it’s been crazy how fast time has been speeding by. I just realized that I didn’t post today or even yesterday I think lol.

[2010JW]

Lol hell yeah! Way better and cheaper to cut your own hair. I just buzz mine since I don't have the skills to do anything else with it lol. I'm sure going to that rave with be a ton of fun and you'll get to experience it in a new light instead of depending on substances to make it "enjoyable".

My day has been pretty solid. Slept in, had my mental health session, and then grocery shopped. Now I'm chilling and playing a video game, probably gonna go have me a bowl. A bowl of Froot Loops lol.

You know what's up man! Gonna keep at it until I get good at it. It takes me an hour to do it, hope to be faster and not fuk it up in the future! The rave was pretty cool, realized the sounds still sound badass without being high on marijuana. Got offered marijuana and didn't even feel bad or hesitant denying, felt good man.

It's funny though, a friend that lived out of town didn't smoke weed as much as I did back then, fast forward now dude smokes hella weed lmao.

Cocoa Pebbles crew, dat chocolate milk!

Hope it's been going great. I find myself less prone to post on the misc, and even being inside the house playing video games at that. Quitting porn and smoking weed has done wonders to me mentally, although the food cravings and eating is still there. I find myself eating way more and gaining weight now more than when I smoked weed

BRB turning my posts of food cleanse. Hope not!

[chino3]

Seeing this thread for the first time and just want to say to everyone participating in this change, stay strong, and enjoy a better quality of life.

And to anyone else who is just browsing and thinks that the only people who quit, are ones with problems, not true. 4 years of no booze for me. Never had any legal issues, relationships ruined, work affected, etc. I just realized one day that alcohol didn't do anything to better my life, and would only do more harm in the long run. Plus I partied enough as a teen and well past the legal drinking age lol. I love being sober, I love never feeling like chit the next day, I love no worrying about "awfuk what did I do last night? and do I need to apologize?" I love knowing that my body will stay healthier longer (not to mention keeping them wrinkles away as much as possible).

I saved this post the day I decided to quit drinking, and it was very helpful to me during the initial bouts of temptation, and I hope other find it helpful/inspirational/cool/whatever as well

[Joeyw88]

You know what's up man! Gonna keep at it until I get good at it. It takes me an hour to do it, hope to be faster and not fuk it up in the future! The rave was pretty cool, realized the sounds still sound badass without being high on marijuana. Got offered marijuana and didn't even feel bad or hesitant denying, felt good man.

It's funny though, a friend that lived out of town didn't smoke weed as much as I did back then, fast forward now dude smokes hella weed lmao.

Cocoa Pebbles crew, dat chocolate milk!

Hope it's been going great. I find myself less prone to post on the misc, and even being inside the house playing video games at that. Quitting porn and smoking weed has done wonders to me mentally, although the food cravings and eating is still there. I find myself eating way more and gaining weight now more than when I smoked weed

BRB turning my posts of food cleanse. Hope not!

I'm glad to hear that you had a great time! It's crazy to think how as addicts we condition our mind to associate substances with fun and that going to something like that is boring without it. Also, good job dave man on turning down the weed! Definitely not an easy thing. I agree and can relate to changing more than just being sober and excelling in other aspects of my life. I've also been doing no porn and no fap. I'm sure that as time goes on, your body and diet will acclimate to the sober life. I think it would be good (and I'm sure you already are) to give yourself some grace. Your body and brain are trying to compensate sobriety with additional food and also the weight gain can always be lost!

Seeing this thread for the first time and just want to say to everyone participating in this change, stay strong, and enjoy a better quality of life.

And to anyone else who is just browsing and thinks that the only people who quit, are ones with problems, not true. 4 years of no booze for me. Never had any legal issues, relationships ruined, work affected, etc. I just realized one day that alcohol didn't do anything to better my life, and would only do more harm in the long run. Plus I partied enough as a teen and well past the legal drinking age lol. I love being sober, I love never feeling like chit the next day, I love no worrying about "awfuk what did I do last night? and do I need to apologize?" I love knowing that my body will stay healthier longer (not to mention keeping them wrinkles away as much as possible).

I saved this post the day I decided to quit drinking, and it was very helpful to me during the initial bouts of temptation, and I hope other find it helpful/inspirational/cool/whatever as well

Hey thanks for posting and sharing! Congrats on four years of not drinking! That is a really inspirational photo/post! And while my recovery is definitely fueled by legal problems, I also enjoy what recovery offers as you've mentioned. No waking up feeling ****ty and/or with no memory of the night before. I feel healthier and have more energy! And it's nice to rediscover the pleasures and gifts of life. I just had a fancy pizza lunchable thing (I forgot what brand it was) and it was like a small high. Whereas if I had still been using and drinking, I would have glossed over that and probably go on to eat much more lol.

[2010JW]

I'm glad to hear that you had a great time! It's crazy to think how as addicts we condition our mind to associate substances with fun and that going to something like that is boring without it. Also, good job dave man on turning down the weed! Definitely not an easy thing. I agree and can relate to changing more than just being sober and excelling in other aspects of my life. I've also been doing no porn and no fap. I'm sure that as time goes on, your body and diet will acclimate to the sober life. I think it would be good (and I'm sure you already are) to give yourself some grace. Your body and brain are trying to compensate sobriety with additional food and also the weight gain can always be lost!

Right! I realized music still sounds as good sober rather than being high or drunk. Realized this today in my early morning workout. How do you feel personally with the no porn and no fap? It seems like porn really fuks with your head, as you're not yourself at all when you watch porn and fap. Thanks for that, it is true, weight gain can always be lost! Food is just too good right now lol but as the days go by I find it easier to just cook my own food rather than splurging on some Jack in the Box or Pizza

Anything new going with you guys? 0rders?!

[Joeyw88]

Right! I realized music still sounds as good sober rather than being high or drunk. Realized this today in my early morning workout. How do you feel personally with the no porn and no fap? It seems like porn really fuks with your head, as you're not yourself at all when you watch porn and fap. Thanks for that, it is true, weight gain can always be lost! Food is just too good right now lol but as the days go by I find it easier to just cook my own food rather than splurging on some Jack in the Box or Pizza

Anything new going with you guys? 0rders?!

Yeah, I'd love to hear check in's from others too! I hope everyone has been doing well!

Oh yeah and if anything I get into music more now than I would while drunk or high. I find no fap and no porn to be pretty beneficial for a few reasons. The increased sexual energy can be transmuted to productive things like working out and socializing. It's still tough sometimes to not want to bust a nut lol. It also helps get me back to enjoying natural stimulus, like seeing and touching a beautiful naked woman lol. I wouldn't say I had ED before, but definitely some difficultly cumming due to death grip syndrome. So I find it overall beneficial and like the idea of semen retention. I'm not gonna claim it's going to give you super powers or that fapping is bad. Masturbation just doesn't align with the goals and values I want in my life.

[2010JW]

Yeah, I'd love to hear check in's from others too! I hope everyone has been doing well!

Oh yeah and if anything I get into music more now than I would while drunk or high. I find no fap and no porn to be pretty beneficial for a few reasons. The increased sexual energy can be transmuted to productive things like working out and socializing. It's still tough sometimes to not want to bust a nut lol. It also helps get me back to enjoying natural stimulus, like seeing and touching a beautiful naked woman lol. I wouldn't say I had ED before, but definitely some difficultly cumming due to death grip syndrome. So I find it overall beneficial and like the idea of semen retention. I'm not gonna claim it's going to give you super powers or that fapping is bad. Masturbation just doesn't align with the goals and values I want in my life.

The increased energy you get from no fap is no lie. Socializing and holding eye contact longer is real, and don't even get me started on working out! When you don't watch porn or masturbate often your workouts are way better, and you want to keep going hard even after you finished your programmed workout. It's also easier to get aroused by being with a real woman, rather than always watching them on a screen. I can attest that fuked me up in the past and don't want to fall that way again. It's different for everyone , though. For some it works for some it's like nothing, so that's why you see some miscers lol @ no fappers.

It's like you appreciate things more sober, the true natural state. Makes me want to go out to nature and do stuff instead of just going out to bars, or hanging out to smoke and do jack chit. Been recently anxious to do stuff out of the apartment, video games and watching shows don't do jack anymore.

[Joeyw88]

Hey what’s going on everyone? Sorry that I’ve been absent from here over the past few days. I’ve been sick with a cold or something and have had my energy sapped. It may or may not be Covid, but I’ve been quarantining just in case. I haven’t been able to make any YouTube videos because I can barely speak


I hope everyone else is doing well!

[JuicedMayhem]

Went 3 months clean, dieting, working out daily, now I got a very old injury to get worse than ever and relapsed on alcohol last week....