My wife wants a threesome

[Captain Action]

Me and my gf talked about having a threesome last year... we decided not to, but she likes the idea of going to a strip club together... might be a good next step for you guys, OP... some people disagree, but I think things get a lot more complicated when you bring in someone who's a friend... if its just a physical need, just find a body

I think you're right. That night out was the greatest thing that's happened to me by far when it comes to my social and confidence issues. A definite breakthrough and I think that's why I was having such difficulties with it the next day. Just really hard for me to wrap my head around. But, im good now and my wife and I both feel it was a step in the right direction for me.

We are going to try to go out more often. This year was the first since our marriage that we have been able to. It's been all work and no play with school, work and two kids. I think life in general is looking up from here out.

I can't hold all these feels right now but I think were all gonna make it.

[Alfha]

but howwwww?????


Tell me how! People all the time tell me I sell myself short and maybe I do. But I can't see it. I'm not asking for a pity party. I really would like to know the answer. How do I fix my self confidence? How do I keep from being so socially awkward and afraid of meeting new people, etc? I think that's why the threesome was so intriguing. Something that would actually boost my self confidence. The thought of another girl actually wanting me is an impossibility. Something I could never imagine. So if it actually happened maybe that would spark a change in me?



god damnit I hate myself so much.

I honestly wouldn't know. I could tell you some tips and tricks etc, but your problem is pretty deep srs. I'd start looking for a GODLY psychologist (100% srs). Sure many are quacks but there are some good ones, they do this chit for a living, look for a GOOD one, and start doing stuff. This is your life we're talking about brah, Do you want to pour your insecurities conciously/unconciously to your children? Do you want them to grow having your insecurities? Well, love yourself too brah, take care of yourself. Invest in yourself.
You can be religious or not. I believe in "something else" ... however, one way or another, what we DO KNOW is that we're going to die.. what happens after, we don't know for a fact. So as far as we know this is our only shot, so take care of yourself. Srs.

[JesseV87]

I've poured out a lot here, guys. Thank you all for listening. Here's some more pics (of me) so you can get an idea of who you're talking too:

[img ]http://imageshack.us/a/img14/6876/qply.jpg[/img]

[img ]http://imageshack.us/a/img827/2407/ir1r.jpg[/img]

The fuk? How could u be lacking so much confidence?

[Captain Action]

I honestly wouldn't know. I could tell you some tips and tricks etc, but your problem is pretty deep srs. I'd start looking for a GODLY psychologist (100% srs). Sure many are quacks but there are some good ones, they do this chit for a living, look for a GOOD one, and start doing stuff. This is your life we're talking about brah, Do you want to pour your insecurities conciously/unconciously to your children? Do you want them to grow having your insecurities? Well, love yourself too brah, take care of yourself. Invest in yourself.
You can be religious or not. I believe in "something else" ... however, one way or another, what we DO KNOW is that we're going to die.. what happens after, we don't know for a fact. So as far as we know this is our only shot, so take care of yourself. Srs.

Oh dear god I'm going to cry. I never thought about it that way. My kids are only 3 and 1 right now. What am I going to go when they have questions and issues and my son has girl trouble etc when they're older? Nothing, that's what. How can I help my kids if I can't help myself?


Brb going to therapy.

[RC2008]

That is a mad sexy wife..

[suave2000]

Oh dear god I'm going to cry. I never thought about it that way. My kids are only 3 and 1 right now. What am I going to go when they have questions and issues and my son has girl trouble etc when they're older? Nothing, that's what. How can I help my kids if I can't help myself?


Brb going to therapy.

going to therapy may be the best course of action brah. A threesome with your wife will only bring more troubles, srs. Go find a good therapist and work on yourself, you've already admitted that you have some issues that need work, that's the first (and hardest) step.

We're all gonna make it brah, do it for yourself and for your kids.

PS. You're wife is hot.

[exy]

I've poured out a lot here, guys. Thank you all for listening. Here's some more pics (of me) so you can get an idea of who you're talking too:

you're both aesthetic

hot wife

smack her around and tell her to get ahold of herself with that threesome ****

[bustermac]

getting married at 20 is ridiculous, at that age its just rushing it. even at your current age of 26 thats young to commit to marriage, thats when you should be starting to settle down from enjoying your 20s and start dating seriously. but to have only been with one person since 15 to now and married them at TWENTY YEARS OLD is crazy.

americans have made marriage a joke, its one of the biggest milestones of most peoples lives and retards rush it and get married too young when theyre changing almost day to day and thats why the usa divorce rate is so high. fuking morans

Silence, MomasBoy.

That is a mad sexy wife..

She looks happy actually...not angry at all.

[gentao]

damn this is a dilemma

If you guys go ahead with it
- it could just lead to one of you always wanting to have another person involved
- one of you loses feelings for the other
- her wanting to do this may mean shes bored with the relationship (in regards to the bedroom)

If you dont
- than i suggest bringing a toy into the bedroom (if the fact is she is bored)
- might have regrets down the road
- one of you may be driven to cheating

[bustermac]

damn this is a dilemma

If you guys go ahead with it
- it could just lead to one of you always wanting to have another person involved
- one of you loses feelings for the other
- her wanting to do this may mean shes bored with the relationship (in regards to the bedroom)

If you dont
- than i suggest bringing a toy into the bedroom (if the fact is she is bored)
- might have regrets down the road
- one of you may be driven to cheating

Your sig may be good advice for OP.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment"

[randombrah1]

I honestly wouldn't know. I could tell you some tips and tricks etc, but your problem is pretty deep srs. I'd start looking for a GODLY psychologist (100% srs). Sure many are quacks but there are some good ones, they do this chit for a living, look for a GOOD one, and start doing stuff. This is your life we're talking about brah, Do you want to pour your insecurities conciously/unconciously to your children? Do you want them to grow having your insecurities? Well, love yourself too brah, take care of yourself. Invest in yourself.
You can be religious or not. I believe in "something else" ... however, one way or another, what we DO KNOW is that we're going to die.. what happens after, we don't know for a fact. So as far as we know this is our only shot, so take care of yourself. Srs.

Oh dear god I'm going to cry. I never thought about it that way. My kids are only 3 and 1 right now. What am I going to go when they have questions and issues and my son has girl trouble etc when they're older? Nothing, that's what. How can I help my kids if I can't help myself?


Brb going to therapy.

just read a few updates, this thread just took an amazing twist.

Its all about the little details brah, the things you say without a second thought:

"My whole world revolves around her" No brah, you have your world, your wife has hers, you MUST be happy with yourself then you can invite her to experience your amazing world.

"It's weird for me to think that another girl would want to dance with me." You have a cute wife and another hot girl was dancing with you and clearly wants to fuk around, what does that means?... YOU AESTHETIC as fuark.

"I know she is frustrated with my lack of confidence and assertiveness." The good thing is that you have other qualities going on for you so you wont lose her, but keep this in mind: YOU ARE THE MAN, you are supposed to be assertive and dominant, it looks like she is the one guiding everything.

"Something that will perhaps change me? Make me more confident and not so self loathing?" Nothing can change you, YOU ARE THE ONE who can change yourself, its your life, take responsability.

See, never refer to yourself as someone with low value, if at first you gotta lie to yourself fuarkin DO IT, you will get to the point where you believe it, srs.
Start thinking more positive, never be like "fuk im so unconfident", thats not needed and IS unattractive, always be like "im awesome" and repeat it till it becomes your reality.

MUST SEE:


Pay more attention to what you say and think and reframe it as something more positive. Base your confidence inside yourself not on the perception others have of you.

you are a step ahead now brah, you accepted the problem and are aware of it, its time to work and read more about it so you can have more tools to improve your reality. I've done this, was unconfident as fuk, started reading and improving myself, life is 200% better now, but dont let someone else talk to you about it, go find out by yourself and READ.

Good read about victim mentality and how to overcome it:
http://www.theattractionforums.com/b...our-roles.html

Threesome MUST be put on the wait line, there are issues that could put you in a position you really dont want to be, srs.

Related things:
http://therationalmale.com/ ------> blog about inter gender relationship but focused on being a man with a strong sense of self confidence
http://www.sosuave.com/bible/bible.htm ------> the bible about self improving, composed by chapters that lead to different threads with amazing info, example:

Pook - Kill that desperation! [must read]
Adonis - A simple and practical guide to an approach [must read]
Pook - Be a Man! [must read]
Deagleclaw - For all the SHY guys out there...
dorian_gray-from.usa - Homework for the New Don Juan.
swigue - My 3 month plan for success w/ women
Pook - Feeling down about your love life? Read this! [must read]
Survivor - The Relationship Begins Before You Meet Her [must read]
Robert Jordon - Overcoming FEAR is easy when you know how...
Robert Jordon - Dependancy Breeds FEAR!
Robert Jordon - Becoming a Rare Commodity can …
stockholder - Face Off
Mental Man - heres something that'll make u think
terminator911 - That what you think about yourself, is exactly what you are
pulse - How to avoid an awful experience.
stockholder - The Vortex of Morphological Fields
CHALENGE GUY - Buried Alive
The Cynical Man - Different Type Of Advice...
rockon - "LOVE" is a four letter word: the MASTER …
Ralfus - Sisonpyh is back
Drew - A game you can always win...
DonJoey - Next time you're too scared to approach do this..
The Writer - How to be Happy
DonJoey - Change your life today
Paradox - On rejection [must read]
Nine Breaker - Change Your Perspective
DJBedford - Becoming a True Don Juan [must read]
Nine Breaker - To Anyone Who Lacks Confidence
Nine Breaker - Winning And Losing
CHALENGE GUY - COURAGE
DarkDream - Just Play the Game
chicago#1 - Self Confidence
Dark Nimbus - My little spiel
Tantric - Confidence is the key to women, but control is the key to confidence
comote - succesful people
Pook - Keys to Don Juan
Giovanni Casanova - A Word About Success

Also, going to therapy will help you, but dont rely on it 100%
read, improve and become a better man, were all here to do that and indeed, WERE ALL GONNA MAKE IT.

Is forcing myself into situations that make me uncomfortable the best way at resolving my social anxiety and lack of confidence? Even if drinking is involved? lol

yes, going out of your comfort zone but without substances involved. Also reading.

Read this thread "Best of the RelationShip help section":

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=133739221

[eac1005]

Dude, she's bored with you. inb4 divorce. This is what happens when you marry young.

[Train_Harder]

but howwwww?????


Tell me how! People all the time tell me I sell myself short and maybe I do. But I can't see it. I'm not asking for a pity party. I really would like to know the answer. How do I fix my self confidence? How do I keep from being so socially awkward and afraid of meeting new people, etc? I think that's why the threesome was so intriguing. Something that would actually boost my self confidence. The thought of another girl actually wanting me is an impossibility. Something I could never imagine. So if it actually happened maybe that would spark a change in me?



god damnit I hate myself so much.

You need change your mindset.

Example, you walk up to a girl, hit on her, and she turns you down.

Instead of getting down on yourself for not being good enough, you need to tell yourself that SHE doesn't have good taste, and that you'll keep trying until you find a girl who does. Realtalk

[randombrah1]

Dude, she's bored with you. inb4 divorce. This is what happens when you marry young.

she is showing signs of getting bored (losing attraction) and opie is busy trying to rationalize it. Though I doubt that she will leave him, there are certain aspects of opie that make him a good husband, but that issue of low self steem must be worked on right now, once addressed, the attraction will be back on track and he will have more power in the relationship, as it should be.

He should learn game, dead srs.

For the unfamiliar, just the word ‘Game’ seems to infer deception or manipulation. You’re not being real if you’re playing a Game, so from the outset we’re starting off from a disadvantage of perception. This is further compounded when attempting to explain Game concepts to a guy who’s only ever been conditioned to ‘just be himself‘ with women and how women allegedly hate guys “who play games” with them. As bad as that sounds, it’s really in the explanation of how Game is more than the common perception that prompts the discussion for the new reader to have it explained for them.

At its root level Game is a series of behavioral modifications to life skills based on psychological and sociological principles to facilitate intersexual relations between genders.

[theaquemini5]

bump

..and randombrah don't peddle your pick-up artist bs here. Seriously cut it out with that ****ing nonsense. brb taking advice about women from hideous dorks that have to trick club skanks into screwing them.

[theaquemini5]

lklkl

[randombrah1]

bump

..and randombrah don't peddle your pick-up artist bs here. Seriously cut it out with that ****ing nonsense. brb taking advice about women from hideous dorks that have to trick club skanks into screwing them.

lol wut

I use "game" with regular girls in broad daylight, it works. Dont judge things you cant understand brah

[mhockey9090]

Yes updates.

[haughtymelodic]

bump. let's get an update op.

You happy and getting threesome action?

Verge of divorce?

the misc needs to learn from your experience.

[henrycole]

just read a few updates, this thread just took an amazing twist.

Its all about the little details brah, the things you say without a second thought:

"My whole world revolves around her" No brah, you have your world, your wife has hers, you MUST be happy with yourself then you can invite her to experience your amazing world.

"It's weird for me to think that another girl would want to dance with me." You have a cute wife and another hot girl was dancing with you and clearly wants to fuk around, what does that means?... YOU AESTHETIC as fuark.

"I know she is frustrated with my lack of confidence and assertiveness." The good thing is that you have other qualities going on for you so you wont lose her, but keep this in mind: YOU ARE THE MAN, you are supposed to be assertive and dominant, it looks like she is the one guiding everything.

"Something that will perhaps change me? Make me more confident and not so self loathing?" Nothing can change you, YOU ARE THE ONE who can change yourself, its your life, take responsability.

See, never refer to yourself as someone with low value, if at first you gotta lie to yourself fuarkin DO IT, you will get to the point where you believe it, srs.
Start thinking more positive, never be like "fuk im so unconfident", thats not needed and IS unattractive, always be like "im awesome" and repeat it till it becomes your reality.

MUST SEE:


Pay more attention to what you say and think and reframe it as something more positive. Base your confidence inside yourself not on the perception others have of you.

you are a step ahead now brah, you accepted the problem and are aware of it, its time to work and read more about it so you can have more tools to improve your reality. I've done this, was unconfident as fuk, started reading and improving myself, life is 200% better now, but dont let someone else talk to you about it, go find out by yourself and READ.

Good read about victim mentality and how to overcome it:
http://www.theattractionforums.com/b...our-roles.html

Threesome MUST be put on the wait line, there are issues that could put you in a position you really dont want to be, srs.

Related things:
http://therationalmale.com/ ------> blog about inter gender relationship but focused on being a man with a strong sense of self confidence
http://www.sosuave.com/bible/bible.htm ------> the bible about self improving, composed by chapters that lead to different threads with amazing info, example:


Also, going to therapy will help you, but dont rely on it 100%
read, improve and become a better man, were all here to do that and indeed, WERE ALL GONNA MAKE IT.



yes, going out of your comfort zone but without substances involved. Also reading.

Read this thread "Best of the RelationShip help section":

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=133739221

just watched the video and i feel pumped man

[gobledee]

Is it possible that op's wife is actually bisexual and not 100% straight? That is definetly something that he should probably ask her, why does she want to have sex with a woman? If it is true that she likes both men and women and doesn't want to be 100% hetero 100% of the time, then perhaps even a polyamorous relationship would be better than just finding a random threesome.

[rome1989]

OP you are an aesthetic beast, and your wife is fine as hell, you should be very proud. I've browsed most of this thread and for the most part, you seem to have your head screwed on pretty well for a 26 year old, as does your wife. Your confidence issues come as a bit of a shock given how you were talking originally, but it's good that your wife is trying to better you. That is one of the good things about a loving relationship, you help your partner to be their best self.

My ex has MASSIVE confidence issues and social awkwardness. Yet she is so damn sexy. Even though our relationship ended on rough terms, she still thanks me for helping her to come out of her shell and realize that she could actually be wanted, and to help her to become more confident in social situations.

In terms of the threesome...it wouldn't be the first time it's happened, and I actually do happen to know many couples who have pulled this off successfully (swingers and non-swingers). Play it by ear, and see how you go. Gobledee is probably right, your wife is most likely at least bi-curious, so it might only be that you get to watch your wife have fun with another woman. Either way, stay safe, and keep it mature as you have a good outlook and are probably more secure in your relationship than 99% of humans can be.

[haughtymelodic]

she is showing signs of getting bored (losing attraction) and opie is busy trying to rationalize it. Though I doubt that she will leave him, there are certain aspects of opie that make him a good husband, but that issue of low self steem must be worked on right now, once addressed, the attraction will be back on track and he will have more power in the relationship, as it should be.

He should learn game, dead srs.

He definitely shouldn't be taking advice from PUA dorks who have to pretend to be sociopaths to get laid. I bartended in college and a bit afterwards. Every once and a while you'd hear some PUA dork trying to go through his rehearsed cringeworthy "game". You learn by interacting with people, hanging out with friends, your relationships, etc. That's exactly what that job did for me. Starting a PUA school would be an easy way to make money though. I'm not a big enough pos to do it but there are a lot desperate guys out there with cash apparently.

[SantaAnaRatchet]

update?

[alkemyst]

Oh dear god I'm going to cry. I never thought about it that way. My kids are only 3 and 1 right now. What am I going to go when they have questions and issues and my son has girl trouble etc when they're older? Nothing, that's what. How can I help my kids if I can't help myself?


Brb going to therapy.

I wouldn't give it too much thought. Threesomes and extra-marital sex have nothing to do with the happiness of partners many times. There is a Sirius Radio / MMA / ex-pro skateboarder named Jason Ellis (Faction 41 3pm eastern live and replays at 9am eastern weekdays).

He and his girlfriend have an agreement that they can have sex with others and he often does (he says about 3-4 different women a week). They are happy and they also have kids. Being part of that lifestyle does not necessarily make one good at relationship counseling with their children. As a peer counsellor in my teens, I would say many parents gave the totally wrong advice and sometimes it was self-destructive setting their child up to be labelled or put into harm's way.

The key thing for extra-marital sex is both have to accept it. You can't just be doing it because your partner wants to. However; it's fine to accept it and not want to be part of it. That is actually a more common situation....there isn't three-ways going on within the relationship; it's private outside affairs (which may be group sex based or not).

[dhawkeye1980]

strong 2.5 year bump

[TorakFirenze]

I wouldn't give it too much thought. Threesomes and extra-marital sex have nothing to do with the happiness of partners many times. There is a Sirius Radio / MMA / ex-pro skateboarder named Jason Ellis (Faction 41 3pm eastern live and replays at 9am eastern weekdays).

He and his girlfriend have an agreement that they can have sex with others and he often does (he says about 3-4 different women a week). They are happy and they also have kids. Being part of that lifestyle does not necessarily make one good at relationship counseling with their children. As a peer counsellor in my teens, I would say many parents gave the totally wrong advice and sometimes it was self-destructive setting their child up to be labelled or put into harm's way.

The key thing for extra-marital sex is both have to accept it. You can't just be doing it because your partner wants to. However; it's fine to accept it and not want to be part of it. That is actually a more common situation....there isn't three-ways going on within the relationship; it's private outside affairs (which may be group sex based or not).

Bruh you've been here 10 years and you can't check the date a thread was posted smh.

[Nosferatu187]

She will use this as leverage over you until the day you die.

and as an excuse to cheat if you ask me.

[Mercworx]

Will destroy your marriage. According to everything I have ever heard.

Dr. Drew talks about it on his podcast a lot. Says its a 100% guarantee way to ruin your family and marriage.

But since shes so serious about it maybe there is already trouble brewing.

[Nosferatu187]

But since shes so serious about it maybe there is already trouble brewing.

especially if she is the one who suggest it lol.