Matches have pretty much died ³

[skinnyfat88]

I also try not to judge too much, but these early indicators are a good thing to take a note of and watch out for patterns.

It's amazing how much signal you can get early on in dating by just listening.

Example: if you came out the gate and indicated your dislike for women that have lots of guy friends, she would just hide all that info.

It's better for both parties if each person reveals more of themselves early on. But fine to dig in for context. Context can eliminate a red flag.

Agreed with all of this.

Plus if you firmly state your opinions/boundaries early on it can come off as controlling/judgmental/negative and they might be turned off even if they themselves don't violate that or have an issue with it.

I think men and women can be friends but if those friendships involve history/lack boundaries, not sure I'd bother to want to understand the context etc etc and it'd be simpler to move on and find someone who was on a similar page to mine.

[skinnyfat88]

I totally agree. I try to balance the not judging too much with also being honest with myself about red flags. It’s a bit harder in the very beginning because you barely know the person. Right now I don’t feel that great that she was on a long trip with a dude just a couple weeks ago, but again I don’t know the context.
I’ve ended things or stopped pursuing a couple girls even in the past 2 years over things that looking back, didn’t probably have to be deal breakers. But I have to trust my gut and know I made those calls for real reasons. Also it’s important to differentiate potential small personality flaws, with red flag dealbreakers.

So I’m making 2nd date plans with this recent hinge girl. Thursday I texted her and that night she said shes pretty free Sunday Monday.. Texted her Friday morning to suggest a spot for drinks Sun afternoon. She didn’t reply all day Friday and texted to confirm this AM, saying’sorry I realized I never replied but yea that sounds good to me ������”
I think I’ll meet her tomorrow but little things like that don’t look great to me.

Hope these things aren't stressing you out by any means this early on but I think most men would have the exact same thoughts.

I do like that she revealed this fact so easily. IMO it'll become obvious before long if there's anything going on with that guy.

Even if there isn't, I would personally be uncomfortable if the dude liked her and she was oblivious to it and they continued to be close friends. It's one thing to have acquaintances/social media friends who have interest in someone I'm seeing so long as no inappropriate convos or w/e are happening, but a close friend? Nah - both parties would be better off discontinuing that relationship.

[InsanePain11]

Hope these things aren't stressing you out by any means this early on but I think most men would have the exact same thoughts.

I do like that she revealed this fact so easily. IMO it'll become obvious before long if there's anything going on with that guy.

Even if there isn't, I would personally be uncomfortable if the dude liked her and she was oblivious to it and they continued to be close friends. It's one thing to have acquaintances/social media friends who have interest in someone I'm seeing so long as no inappropriate convos or w/e are happening, but a close friend? Nah - both parties would be better off discontinuing that relationship.

Thanks brah, I’m not stressed at all about it. I considered not asking her out again because of it though. Then when she took a whole day to confirm yesterday I started souring even more. I’m going to ask her about it (the guy on trip) in just a curious way tomorrow when we’re on our date. Not planning to react to it but rather use it to determine if I’ll move forward at all. Regardless, I decided it’s be worth it to see her again at least once, especially when she’s not tired after work like our first date. Just going to have fun with her tomorrow and see where it goes.

If she does say he likes her, or they’ve had a past fling or something, I won’t be considering anything long term with her. She could also just lie but I’ll see what she does. That’s def not my vibe, I don’t like hanging around girls that just casually hangout with dudes like that when they say they’re looking for ltr with others. But we’ll see. I’m giving it a chance until I know more. On her profile it says looking for an LtR, she does not have provocative pics, seems family oriented based on pics, good prompts etc. Those are the positives, but I gotta keep my guard up because these days you have to practically spell out monogamy for people.

I will add, in a small way I found it curious that she recognized the bartender from another bar she’s been to before on the first date, and when we were there he mentioned a guys name to her that may have been a mutual friend. I may be jumping to conclusions but that combined with the friend on the trip made me wonder if she knows a lot of guys.. she doesn’t seem slooty so far but some people just aren’t outwardly that way, but then you find out they are that way if you know what I mean.

Anyways, we’ll see how it goes tomorrow.

[skinnyfat88]

I will add, in a small way I found it curious that she recognized the bartender from another bar she’s been to before on the first date, and when we were there he mentioned a guys name to her that may have been a mutual friend. I may be jumping to conclusions but that combined with the friend on the trip made me wonder if she knows a lot of guys.. she doesn’t seem slooty so far but some people just aren’t outwardly that way, but then you find out they are that way if you know what I mean.

Again, a thought that would probably run through a lot of guys heads on a first date. Because it's so out-in-the-open early on will probably mean it will be easy to figure out if she's keeping guys around with whom she has a history with or w/e.
It's the ones without much of a social circle that you might assume are conservative but could have a shockingly promiscuous/shady past.

Curious to see how it turns out and how you bring up the travel friend. Good luck brah!

[InsanePain11]

Again, a thought that would probably run through a lot of guys heads on a first date. Because it's so out-in-the-open early on will probably mean it will be easy to figure out if she's keeping guys around with whom she has a history with or w/e.
It's the ones without much of a social circle that you might assume are conservative but could have a shockingly promiscuous/shady past.

Curious to see how it turns out and how you bring up the travel friend. Good luck brah!

Agreed on all accounts! Thanks brah!

I’m a bit hungover today but I’m gonna do my best to bring my A game haha. May have to have a beer before at this rate, to help the symptoms.

[InsanePain11]

She texted saying she woke up snuffly and wanted to warn me, saying idk if we should reschedule.
I just said sorry you’re not feeling well!, probably best we reschedule. Feel better and we can plan another time.

Looks like I’m having some beer and watching football instead.

[skinnyfat88]

She texted saying she woke up snuffly and wanted to warn me, saying idk if we should reschedule.
I just said sorry you’re not feeling well!, probably best we reschedule. Feel better and we can plan another time.

Looks like I’m having some beer and watching football instead.

Damn. You're the only one keeping this thread going.
can't get content from watching football!

[InsanePain11]

Damn. You're the only one keeping this thread going.
can't get content from watching football!

Haha. I was starting to look forward to the date, oh well. I know she went to a Friendsgiving last night so maybe she’s hungover, or just sick. Or both.

[SwimLiftRunGrl]

I can't believe this thread (version) is still going after years. Has OP made any progress?



To be fair, a single person should be able to go out and have a drink with friends and not have folks trying to pick them up all the time. In my single phases I did this, and had women hit on me - perversely, my saying I'm not looking for anything had some go into a frenzy for me. But folks who aren't "looking" for anything shouldn't have to be shut-ins to avoid being flirted with, right? Body language counts for a lot - or it should.

I agree with you. That is true. However, some men and women do not know how to decipher body language or they just don't care. I read her original post before she edit it a while back. She mentioned that she likes to go play pool alone and wants to be left alone. My memory could serve me wrong on this. I'm thinking her situation more in terms of statistics not as a shut-in to avoid being flirted with. For example, she likes to play pool but she wants to be left alone to play pool. Pool places statistically has more men than women. She goes to a place where there are more men than women and she is a very attractive woman so the probability of her getting hit on is very high. Sorry if this is confusing.

For me, if I know the probability of an outcome that I don't like will happen then I will not go there. If I decide to still go there then I cannot complain if someone hits on me. This is just my opinion.

[InsanePain11]

For me, if I know the probability of an outcome that I don't like will happen then I will not go there. If I decide to still go there then I cannot complain if someone hits on me. This is just my opinion.

Not just your opinion Swim, you’re just showing common/fair sense In public it’s not against the law to hit on people and people will always be going out to meet people. There are things we all have to navigate as people when we go out. Getting offended for being approached is kind of pointless and self important behavior. That’s assuming the approached is being respectful. I think that’s when it can be inappropriate, if an arrogant person gets pushy about it or doesn’t take a hint- I can see how that’d be annoying. Most people will get it when you’re firm with them. Others are just annoying and embarrassing themselves.

[Silencespeaks]

Op will stay single forever looking for red flags and alignment.

[4North1Side2]

Keep getting these young hot Mormon women full of glow sliding in my DM's on ******** asking me to attend church. I just want to **** but I don't feel like putting in the work to fu ck...

What's y'all experience fu cking Mormon women?

[skinnyfat88]

Keep getting these young hot Mormon women full of glow sliding in my DM's on ******** asking me to attend church. I just want to **** but I don't feel like putting in the work to fu ck...

What's y'all experience fu cking Mormon women?

I cannot fathom pretending to be interested in becoming religious (or being deceptious about anything really) in order to sleep with a woman.

Maybe in my early 20s I would've feigned interest in certain aspects but religion? Never.

[4North1Side2]

I cannot fathom pretending to be interested in becoming religious (or being deceptious about anything really) in order to sleep with a woman.

Maybe in my early 20s I would've feigned interest in certain aspects but religion? Never.

Good for you and I can't either. One of the chicks I've been banging for the last 8 months was a Bible thumping Christian when we met. She's 19 with a 17 year age gap between us. I told her right off the top that I'm not religious.

Never been a problem and she can't get enough of me.

Told the Mormon women the same thing. It was 5 of them ages 20-23. 1 stop messaging me after that but the other 4 keep messaging me. Oh well, I'll where it goes. I'm just over talking and romancing chicks these days so I'm being impatient.

[skinnyfat88]

Good for you and I can't either. One of the chicks I've been banging for the last 8 months was a Bible thumping Christian when we met. She's 19 with a 17 year age gap between us. I told her right off the top that I'm not religious.

Never been a problem and she can't get enough of me.

Told the Mormon women the same thing. It was 5 of them ages 20-23. 1 stop messaging me after that but the other 4 keep messaging me. Oh well, I'll where it goes. I'm just over talking and romancing chicks these days so I'm being impatient.

Haha that's wild.

Is it a product of where you live or how do you meet these girls?

[InsanePain11]

Keep getting these young hot Mormon women full of glow sliding in my DM's on ******** asking me to attend church. I just want to **** but I don't feel like putting in the work to fu ck...

What's y'all experience fu cking Mormon women?

So these girls randomly messaged you specifically on ******** to attend a church? Just curious what would prompt that. Are they doing a campaign to get people to join? And then you told them not interested in church, and started gaming them? Just curious about the context of how you started these connections.

[DustinTheHuss]

Damn. You're the only one keeping this thread going.
can't get content from watching football!

Yeah I pretty much lost interest in dating apps.

[imbored21]

I haven't been doing good with girls guys. It's just constant flakes or ugly girls no one truly wants. I mean girls will match and chat back and forth but when it comes to meeting up, it takes 6 months to get a date with a decently cute girl. It sucks because I know I'm not a bad guy.

[imbored21]

ugh. why does it feel like I'm competing with guys who are better than me in every way for girls who are worse than me in every way??

[xbluexhawkx]

Nice avi

[imbored21]

thanks

[TonyTriangles]

Keep getting these young hot Mormon women full of glow sliding in my DM's on ******** asking me to attend church. I just want to **** but I don't feel like putting in the work to fu ck...

What's y'all experience fu cking Mormon women?

They want you as a convert quota

[Mountaineer92]

was seeing a girl for 4 months. crazy intimacy and connection and all. she ghosted few weeks ago.

w.e - did some reading up on chit and wow... she was 100% dismissive avoidant attachment style. wish i knew about this type of chit years ago - better i learn it now tho lol.


back to putting myself out in the dating world but not using apps. gonna be a challenge i suppose boyos.

[imbored21]

was seeing a girl for 4 months. crazy intimacy and connection and all. she ghosted few weeks ago.

w.e - did some reading up on chit and wow... she was 100% dismissive avoidant attachment style. wish i knew about this type of chit years ago - better i learn it now tho lol.


back to putting myself out in the dating world but not using apps. gonna be a challenge i suppose boyos.

good luck boyo.women are ****ing retarded. I got ghosted after 3 years once.

[xbluexhawkx]

was seeing a girl for 4 months. crazy intimacy and connection and all. she ghosted few weeks ago.

w.e - did some reading up on chit and wow... she was 100% dismissive avoidant attachment style. wish i knew about this type of chit years ago - better i learn it now tho lol.


back to putting myself out in the dating world but not using apps. gonna be a challenge i suppose boyos.

normal asf these days srs

[imbored21]

19/20 of my conversations don't end in a date. They either stop responding when I ask them out or give me their number and ghost me the next day.

[skinnyfat88]

ugh. why does it feel like I'm competing with guys who are better than me in every way for girls who are worse than me in every way??

That's the problem. You feel inferior.

Need to do things for yourself to inspire confidence within yourself.

[redliner9]

19/20 of my conversations don't end in a date. They either stop responding when I ask them out or give me their number and ghost me the next day.

The winter months are always bad on the apps.

My best luck is around end of Feb-April, ya know, the breakup period for couples.

[swoleyo]

Keep getting these young hot Mormon women full of glow sliding in my DM's on ******** asking me to attend church. I just want to **** but I don't feel like putting in the work to fu ck...

What's y'all experience fu cking Mormon women?

Where are you even finding all these cute Mormon girls?

[4North1Side2]

Where are you even finding all these cute Mormon girls?

********

Some Mormon guy sent me a friend request trying to convert me. After accepting, I show up as people I might know to his friends.