Girlfriend dumped me for getting so fat

[Absalmon]

Iv gained almost 50lbs in a year, my girlfriend has finally dumped me for being too fat. Entirely my own fault. I hope this is enough motivation for me to get rid of this sack of lard. 209lbs starting weight.

You've taken the first step. Keep posting and updating your progress. Have you got some friends or a trainer to keep you on the right trajectory?

[vordulmega]

Common excuse, but as you probably know, a terrible excuse. If possible, bring protein powder to make a shake during the day or bring some homemade protein bars. Also bring your own lunch unless there are some good healthy choices around work.

This is true, I work in a desk job and I reckon it is probably one of the easiest situations to be in in terms of being able to prepare your own food. The majority of offices have kitchens with refrigerators and other appliances and it's not hard to bring protein in containers and make your own shakes or whatever (usually with the office milk, which is free).

[Darkman006]

Like what everyone is saying, do it for yourself. You may start out doing it in spite, but then hopefully down the road you'll fall in love with working out and you'll keep at it. i was 185lbs before I started working out last year, I lost 25lbs in just about 4 months and have managed to keep it off with dedication of continuing to go to the gym. Just 3-4 days a week. I don't have abs yet but I am flatter than ever and people have noticed. Working out gives so many health benefits its silly not to do it for yourself.

[dude846]

1) She dumped you for being fat? It was bound to happen, weight is just an excuse for her to go. Either way, better off for you.
2) There's plenty of women out there that's better than that, and better looking, i'm sure.

As far as everything else - everyone to point you to what works. We can say this and we can say that. But the end is all up to you. Only you have control over what you put through your mouth and when you do it.

Just worry about getting into a routine of one step at a time. Not a lot of big changes at once. It's easier to fall back into a smaller-old habit, but it's not as destructive as "I forgot to goto the gym today, screw this!" and you dump everything because you made one mistake. I did that, and I still tell people what i've gone through..
- Being shy at the gym. (headphones, hat, hoodie)
- Not motivated to go to the gym (Rock music, Stress reliever, etc)
- Not enough time to workout. (SuperSets, Giant Sets, decrease rest time and lower weight)
...

[OregonLife]

Good luck OP. You are going to make it!

[idreamofnumber1]

Thanks for the support guys. What bmi, would you say I was? I'm 5,8 209lbs. But iv heard bmi calculators aren't that accurate. I tried calipers but apparently they also don't work once you get too fat.

use a tape measurer and measure your waist to gauge progress. then you can switch to calipers later on

[johnnygun207]

ey bro.. use that fire you got, and it will turn into so much more. spite ignites a helluva flame. break down walls better yourserf mentally and physically, and the ladies will be a perfect 10 compared to her when you get confident and lean. like most have said, you won't even care about her anymore. you'll care about yourself. that's #1.

[Owz600]

You're going to make it. I have faith in you. There will be hard times but stay strong and you'll be so thankful and proud of yourself. Ever need advice, send me a pm.

[NBSprinter]

listen here man. i'd dump my gf if she got too fat. but i wouldn't expect her to take me back.
go into this for yourself, don't take her back, get swole and make her regret what she did, leaving you.

[Domicron]

Thanks for the support guys. What bmi, would you say I was? I'm 5,8 209lbs. But iv heard bmi calculators aren't that accurate. I tried calipers but apparently they also don't work once you get too fat.

it doesn't matter; because you clearly need to shed weight. it doesn't matter how much you weigh, unless you're using it to measure your progress. it doesn't matter how much fat you lose as long as you start making progress.

i'd start by tracking your food. buy a kitchen scale and start weighing things. track for 2 weeks, take the average calories/day and compare against your weight over the same time. normally they say to cut at 20% but i bet you'd do just fine eating at 2k calories for a while.

visit the nutrition forum for more info, but the gist of it is replace junk food with whole food. don't be afraid of eating fat, but do be careful not to eat too many calories.

EDIT: you need to tell that girl "thanks" btw...if it means you're losing weight and getting healthier..

[jamesovercome]

If you want to change your life do it, not just to get back at her though, do it for yourself.

[CytoRoc]

i would dump my significant other if she got that fat too..

[JohnSage24]

**** your girlfriend man, there's too many girls on the planet to let one bug you like this, get it through your head that you don't need her and that you wanna change yourself. Thats the best motivation.

[ryanharvey]

i would dump my significant other if she got that fat too..

And what if you got like I have, would you still feel the same?

[theFitNish]

good luck and keep going. But do it for yourself, dont wast time doing it for other people or some other reason. Do it because that it what you want to achieve.

[desperado63]

Ah, all I can say about that is she didn't truly care if that was the reason she gave you, but either way... Hang in there brother!
You can do it man. Just push yourself every single day to be a better person than you were the day before. I believe in you man. Like everyone has said it will be a long road, and you will probably doubt yourself, but in the end it will be worth it 100%.
Good luck brah.

[MikeyLeMunch]

And what if you got like I have, would you still feel the same?

I've been in a long term relationship, had two jobs, full time student, was secretary/treasurer for my student government, and had an unemployed partner.
Bro, don't focus on what other people have done unless it will benefit you.

I had a crap ton of things on my plate and still ate right and had time to avoid getting chunky.
So you gained some weight... you'll lose it. Fat is temporary, as well as the conditional love of people choose to blame their partner instead of helping them.

Have you seen VoxExMachina's 80/20 post? (I can't post the link since I'm under 50 posts... but look it up)
This will help you out a lot since from the sound of it, you may want to look into your time management.
Spend a little time a day portioning your meals. It doesn't mean plan out blan boring meals, get some protein, healthy carbs in, nuts n' such, and you can graze on those throughout the day.

Once you spend a few minutes planning that out, you can graze whatever you've packed so you won't need to concern yourself with "how many have I eaten," or "I hope I'm not eating too much."

What I'd hope for you to consider most: get fit for yourself, not anyone else.

[coldpulse]

Don't worry too much about it pal. Just think positive and you'll get back in the right path.

[ryanharvey]

[QUOTE=coldpulse;1245750313]Don't worry too much about it pal. Just think positive and you'll get back in the right path.
Iv been doing awful lately, my gym trainer made me a programme and iv not followed it well. The cardio kills me and I often give up. I feel depressed and I overeat. Iv gained another 6lbs and I haven't eaten more than usual. I look awful. One day these public pictures will shame me into losing this weight.
Iv never been this big before

[EndoToMeso]

If you don't respect yourself, no one else will. Don't you think?

[AlwaysBeShepard]

Iv been doing awful lately, my gym trainer made me a programme and iv not followed it well. The cardio kills me and I often give up. I feel depressed and I overeat. Iv gained another 6lbs and I haven't eaten more than usual. I look awful. One day these public pictures will shame me into losing this weight.
Iv never been this big before

If you're giving up then you obviously don't want it bad enough. You'll stay fat until you want it bad enough. I went through most of my childhood/teenage years being a fat kid and being insecure about it and I would often decide I was gonna lose weight, but I always gave up because I didn't want it bad enough. I got complacent because I had a girlfriend and didn't really feel any reason to lose it. Then we broke up and I put on even more weight because I got depressed like you're saying you are. That went on for almost a year and I was in the worst shape I've ever been.

Then I decided enough was enough and then I did actually want it bad enough and there was never even the possibility in my mind that I would stop. Whenever the cardio got tough I'd tell myself this next mile is the difference between fat and fit. If I ever felt like scrapping the diet and binging on a bunch of crap I would think about who I was compared to who I wanted to be, and I knew that complying with the diet was the only way I'd become who I wanted to be.
If you want to be a better you, and if you want the slightest chance of getting any vaguely attractive girls at any point in your life, you will push through this and you won't give up. If you give up, you obviously didn't want it bad enough.

edit: my 1 year progress

[theFitNish]

Great job!! nothings impossible..

If you're giving up then you obviously don't want it bad enough. You'll stay fat until you want it bad enough. I went through most of my childhood/teenage years being a fat kid and being insecure about it and I would often decide I was gonna lose weight, but I always gave up because I didn't want it bad enough. I got complacent because I had a girlfriend and didn't really feel any reason to lose it. Then we broke up and I put on even more weight because I got depressed like you're saying you are. That went on for almost a year and I was in the worst shape I've ever been.

Then I decided enough was enough and then I did actually want it bad enough and there was never even the possibility in my mind that I would stop. Whenever the cardio got tough I'd tell myself this next mile is the difference between fat and fit. If I ever felt like scrapping the diet and binging on a bunch of crap I would think about who I was compared to who I wanted to be, and I knew that complying with the diet was the only way I'd become who I wanted to be.
If you want to be a better you, and if you want the slightest chance of getting any vaguely attractive girls at any point in your life, you will push through this and you won't give up. If you give up, you obviously didn't want it bad enough.

edit: my 1 year progress

[SeanM4]

If you hate the cardio so much, then don't do cardio. You need to find something that works for YOU.

[Gabrielle91]

You have to choose which you hate more- cardio, or cutting your calories. But either way you're going to have to do one of them if you want to loose weight. I'd suggest you choose to watch your food intake because you'd have to do a butt load of cardio to burn off the amount of food that you're eating. Personally, I hate cardio so I cut my calories to loose weight. Good luck, you can do this! Just come on to this forum every day for continued inspiration.

But you have to loose the weight for yourself. Trying to please others won't work. I tried that, expecting my family to stop calling me fat and they still call me fat. You'll never be satisfied if you constantly worry about other people's opinions of you.

Oh and your BMI is 31.8 (30+ is obese). And you are right, BMI can be inaccurate for people with dense bones or large amounts of muscle. Don't worry about your that. Instead pay attention to the number on the scale, the calories you are consuming, and the size of your waist.

Out of curiosity, are you tracking your calories? Because if you put on 6 pounds you have to be eating more.

[SpurredSnake]

Been there... Done that... Make that b**** regret ever leaving... My ex tried to pull that s***. She gained 100 lbs and I lost 20... Guess who was all over my 'd' after I started hitting the gym. But I found someone a million times better.

[johnnygun207]

If you're giving up then you obviously don't want it bad enough. You'll stay fat until you want it bad enough. I went through most of my childhood/teenage years being a fat kid and being insecure about it and I would often decide I was gonna lose weight, but I always gave up because I didn't want it bad enough. I got complacent because I had a girlfriend and didn't really feel any reason to lose it. Then we broke up and I put on even more weight because I got depressed like you're saying you are. That went on for almost a year and I was in the worst shape I've ever been.

Then I decided enough was enough and then I did actually want it bad enough and there was never even the possibility in my mind that I would stop. Whenever the cardio got tough I'd tell myself this next mile is the difference between fat and fit. If I ever felt like scrapping the diet and binging on a bunch of crap I would think about who I was compared to who I wanted to be, and I knew that complying with the diet was the only way I'd become who I wanted to be.
If you want to be a better you, and if you want the slightest chance of getting any vaguely attractive girls at any point in your life, you will push through this and you won't give up. If you give up, you obviously didn't want it bad enough.

edit: my 1 year progress

repped brotha. way to give the kid some inspiration.

OP, jus remember homie, you got a lot of life left to live. do what this dude did, and the girl of your dreams will come to you.. you won't even have to look that hard for her.

**edit; and.. you'll feel a million times better about yourself, and everything else in the world.

[SaladDodger]

A few years back I was very overweight and my fiancé ended up leaving me for some guy who was in shape.. For ages there was all this **** on ******** about how great his body is, how sexy his 6 pack is ect ect. It was pretty brutal but my god did it motivate me!!
I started a low carb version of the warrior diet, which is pretty extreme but with my motivation at a 11/10 I stuck to it until it became a natural way of eating to me (still do it today) I also started training like a boxer, daily runs, full body workouts ect.
I eventually lost 6 stone in weight and look better in my 30's than I ever did in my 20's I have all my confidence back and am happy with my life.
My ex and her bloke had a couple of kids and wound up getting fat themselves. From what I hear they're pretty miserable and he treats her like s**t! lol.

.. Couldn't have planned it better myself!

Use this to motivate you and you SHALL make it bro!

[ObviouslyDutch]

If you're giving up then you obviously don't want it bad enough. You'll stay fat until you want it bad enough. I went through most of my childhood/teenage years being a fat kid and being insecure about it and I would often decide I was gonna lose weight, but I always gave up because I didn't want it bad enough. I got complacent because I had a girlfriend and didn't really feel any reason to lose it. Then we broke up and I put on even more weight because I got depressed like you're saying you are. That went on for almost a year and I was in the worst shape I've ever been.

Then I decided enough was enough and then I did actually want it bad enough and there was never even the possibility in my mind that I would stop. Whenever the cardio got tough I'd tell myself this next mile is the difference between fat and fit. If I ever felt like scrapping the diet and binging on a bunch of crap I would think about who I was compared to who I wanted to be, and I knew that complying with the diet was the only way I'd become who I wanted to be.
If you want to be a better you, and if you want the slightest chance of getting any vaguely attractive girls at any point in your life, you will push through this and you won't give up. If you give up, you obviously didn't want it bad enough.

edit: my 1 year progress

before anything, I'm being completely srs and honest..

You used to look like a fat *******.
Now... Mirin ur gawddayum facial aesthetics n dat dere hair brahh, like ur from the movie Troy. Keep it up mane, your gonna be aesthetic, and ur born for it mane (Y)

[GLabs]

This was probably posted already but NEVER motivate yourself to lose weight because of others. That will only be temporary. Do it for yourself!!

[Disaronno27]

Damnnn