The No Contact Thread v3.0: I'll Hug You Bro No Homo.

[IanPhelps]

Try focusing less on the potential reaction [which you can't control], and keep your focus on the ultimate message you want to make clear and send to her...I do think you should apologize for your abrupt disappearance on her, but explain why you did so, and let her know that it's just not going to work out between you two. If she presses you for reasons, you can simply reference incompatibility, and leave it at that. You could expand, if you choose, but given that it could get hostile, it may be best to keep it honest, direct, but as short as possible.

Good luck, I hope it goes as well as can be for you. I'm glad you are at least calling to officially end it...it's the right thing to do. We all make mistakes, but we can also learn from them, and improve ourselves by making better choices from here on out.

Well i was going to text her casually, be like "hey ___ hope your weeks going well.."3

[IanPhelps]

Okay, then you might as well not say anything at all. What's the point of sending such an empty message? Either say what you have to say, or just don't bother.

And if this is the same girl regarding that whole cops scenario, then maybe just stay NC if it's working for you, as is. This rela is textbook toxic, so the easiest way to disengage and get away, would probably be the best. I didn't realize it was such a toxic sitch, from your original post tonight.

I know but i'm not sure if i'm being gaslighted, or what. But was blown out of proportion, idk, maybe not. Don't know, and the point of the message is just to get dialogue moving, like i send it, and we end up talking about what happened. I feel like i owe it to her. Idk

[OrbOddLaw]

That last part is what i'm super worried about. Although after what i did i don't think she would ever get back with me. But honestly i was the perfect BF for the most part, treated her right, ****ed her right, as long as she was happy that is all that mattered. Really can't be with her for my future. 1
Oh she is super clingy, and i like how i look in the pic. Has nothing really to do with her.

no offense i read your past post about how you finally stopped being a FA with her...so how does a virgin throw down in the bedroom exactly?

Offensive comment #2 you are way out of her league i saw the past pics you posted of her and she's way average. *in b4 you avyless low rep kunt insult gets hurled at me and deservingly so*

I know but i'm not sure if i'm being gaslighted, or what. But was blown out of proportion, idk, maybe not. Don't know, and the point of the message is just to get dialogue moving, like i send it, and we end up talking about what happened. I feel like i owe it to her. Idk

sigh good luck with that kind of response to a stage 5 clinger...

ETA: rule # 1 dont stick your dick in crazy rule # 2 if a bish accuses you of rape you betta run!

[IanPhelps]

no offense i read your past post about how you finally stopped being a FA with her...so how does a virgin throw down in the bedroom exactly?

Offensive comment #2 you are way out of her league i saw the past pics you posted of her and she's way average. *in b4 you avyless low rep kunt insult gets hurled at me and deservingly so*



sigh good luck with that kind of response to a stage 5 clinger...

ETA: rule # 1 dont stick your dick in crazy rule # 2 if a bish accuses you of rape you betta run!

Never really cared about looks, favorite time with her was with no makeup, cuddeling and watching netflix goofing around.

Sex was awesome, 1-3 times a day, 5 times max

6/7 days at her place. Wake up there, go to work, shower at my place, go to her place, sleep there, wake up.

What happens when you date a stripper you met at the club.

[OrbOddLaw]

That last part is what i'm super worried about. Although after what i did i don't think she would ever get back with me..

BUT BUT YOU were her everything her #1. you were 'posed to get married and have kids. till death do ye part! imagine a lifetime of cray sounds exciting no?

[IanPhelps]

BUT BUT YOU were her everything her #1. you were 'posed to get married and have kids. till death do ye part! imagine a lifetime of cray sounds exciting no?

\
hrmm
"hey babe did you use this towel when you washed the dog"
"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME, UGGHHH GOSHH"

hrmmm.

[daisygirl713]

I know but i'm not sure if i'm being gaslighted, or what. But was blown out of proportion, idk, maybe not. Don't know, and the point of the message is just to get dialogue moving, like i send it, and we end up talking about what happened. I feel like i owe it to her. Idk

But this is my point...okay, maybe you're unexperienced with relas and love. But if you feel you owe it to her, and you feel guilty about going NC out of the blue, then at least be mature enough to not open with such a useless line. I'd be so annoyed if you did that, after having gone NC on me for close to the month, worried me out of my mind, hurt me so much, and left me suspended with NO explanation at all...

I actually had my ex do that to me a long time ago, and after 3 months, he reached out like nothing had happened, and I was just so, so hurt...the least he could've done was have the decency and courage to immediately address his absence. It would've at least showed an understanding of the cruelness of disappearing without a word, and the respect to not waltz back in so casually. Nobody likes thoughtlessness and carelessness in another...

I'm just saying, think about how you'd want to be treated if you the shoe were on the other foot, and proceed accordingly. Don't just text uselessly to instigate convo cuz you're tipsy and miss her....

[OrbOddLaw]

Never really cared about looks, favorite time with her was with no makeup, cuddeling and watching netflix goofing around.

What happens when you date a stripper you met at the club.

I'm just teasing ya man! Honestly as boring as this sounds work on yourself and continue focusing in your family/friends. I remember in the old thread you saying she tried to keep you from spending time with them. Its normal to have 2nd thoughts, especially this being your 1st relationship, but trust they will pass and you'll feel better w/o her srs.

[IanPhelps]

But this is my point...okay, maybe you're unexperienced with relas and love. But if you feel you owe it to her, and you feel guilty about going NC out of the blue, then at least be mature enough to not open with such a useless line. I'd be so annoyed if you did that, after having gone NC on me for close to the month, worried me out of my mind, hurt me so much, and left me suspended with NO explanation at all...

I actually had my ex do that to me a long time ago, and after 3 months, he reached out like nothing had happened, and I was just so, so hurt...the least he could've done was have the decency and courage to immediately address his absence. It would've at least showed an understanding of the cruelness of disappearing without a word, and the respect to not waltz back in so casually. Nobody likes thoughtlessness and carelessness in another...

I'm just saying, think about how you'd want to be treated if you the shoe were on the other foot, and proceed accordingly. Don't just text uselessly to instigate convo cuz you're tipsy and miss her....

You have an amazing point, and the miss her part isn't really it. If that where the case, i would have texted her a few weeks ago. Its mainly feeling guilty, thinking what she must have gone through mentally/emotionally.

I'm pretty socially stunted, had really bad social anxiety until i got help 2 years ago.

[miscking21]

4 months of NC. broke up. got back together. then i broke it off. immediately regretted it but it was what was best for me.
gem of wisdom before the NC:
Get EVERYTHING off your chest. Say EVERYTHING on your mind. And don't worry about hurting their feelings. Leaving things unsaid will sit on your mind and make you want to contact them more.
Be Blunt.
Be Brilliant.
Be Gone.

GL all NC'ers. it gets better when you fill the gap they filled with yourself.

100% truth right here, wish i done the same and went full blown out on her. instead i acted non-chalantly about it and acted like i didn't care she broke it off and the fact that she probably thinks i didn't care made her think she didn't do anything wrong and was scott free to jump on some other guys dink 3 weeks later.

also been 3 months to the day since i last saw her, can't believe it already. 1 minute i was happy seeing her the next minute i realise that was my last time

[BigAssBubba]

I cracked texted her back "it wasnt" (as in it wasnt fair to me for her to druken call me)and "been busy". She said "wont happen again", I said "ok", then she said "take care", i said "same to you", then she said she will drop off my stuff at some point.

This has been a very big set back, ****ing bitch.

And thats that, regret texting her back. I knew i would, moment of weakness. Feel like im back at day one fml.

[OrbOddLaw]

I'm pretty socially stunted, had really bad social anxiety until i got help 2 years ago.

damn and a mentally unstable chick was your first intro to the dating world. who pushed for the relationship you or her? for a 2 month (those months are usually supposed to be the best moments ) or so relationship, things went downhill fast, probably should've just kept it casual/NSA.

sex is overrated, save it for someone important imo.

lawl epic fail

Forner fa virgin, ****s overrated, being alone is better..

damn she did a number on you.

oh deer at that avi change.

[IanPhelps]

**** reading her lasts texts are brutal.

Did you block me on ********
are you ok
i'm worried about you, you just called me
Is someone able to access your ********, Bc you blocked me? like a crazy girl or something. I'm completely blocked on ********. I know you couldn't have done it.
You just left and kissd me, made love to me and than you called me told me you loved me so weird.

[IanPhelps]

damn and a mentally unstable chick was your first intro to the dating world. who pushed for the relationship you or her? for a 2 month (those months are usually supposed to be the best moments ) or so relationship, things went downhill fast, probably should've just kept it casual/NSA.



lawl epic fail



damn she did a number on you.

D

oh deer at that avi change.

****ing brutal boy. Don't dig too deep, might find something you don't like.

We ****ed on like our 3-4th date (could have ****ed from day 1, but didn't) And she was like "so we're bf/gf now right"
I was like uhhh yeah sure....

[OrbOddLaw]

**** reading her lasts texts are brutal.

Did you block me on ********
are you ok
i'm worried about you, you just called me
Is someone able to access your ********, Bc you blocked me? like a crazy girl or something. I'm completely blocked on ********. I know you couldn't have done it.
You just left and kissd me, made love to me and than you called me told me you loved me so weird.

ugh your getting reeled back in. stay safe dunno w0t to tell you m8

[IanPhelps]

ugh your getting reeled back in. stay safe dunno w0t to tell you m8

Just got to think of my days in the top 30 world guild, farming primal fires to sell on the AH so i could afford to raid Sunwell.

I think primals were in BC.

But nah i won't go back to her, got tinder the other day. ALready at like 100+ matches multiple numbers given to me without asking. Could have gone out tonight with a chick, but had other **** going on. Super hot too, thinking of being a player though now and just using women to for sex.

[SkullCore]

Having a hard time knowing that she's with someone else/slooting. The feeling goes on and off though, sucks to be lonely but this is the only way you can become stronger.

[BigAssBubba]

Having a hard time knowing that she's with someone else/slooting. The feeling goes on and off though, sucks to be lonely but this is the only way you can become stronger.

This exactly. Wish she was dead instead. Semi srs.

[OrbOddLaw]

****ing brutal boy. Don't dig too deep, might find something you don't like.

We ****ed on like our 3-4th date (could have ****ed from day 1, but didn't) And she was like "so we're bf/gf now right"
I was like uhhh yeah sure....

classy! troo luv!

Just got to think of my days in the top 30 world guild, farming primal fires to sell on the AH so i could afford to raid Sunwell.

I think primals were in BC.

But nah i won't go back to her, got tinder the other day. ALready at like 100+ matches multiple numbers given to me without asking. Could have gone out tonight with a chick, but had other **** going on. Super hot too, thinking of being a player though now and just using women to for sex.

play on playa. be the man sloot you were always meant to be. that will also make you forget about her! ...and probably put her off from you if she ever found out...

[IanPhelps]

3

classy! troo luv!



play on playa. be the man sloot you were always meant to be. that will also make you forget about her! ...and probably put her off from you if she ever found out...

When i tried to break up with her, she said instead "go out and try and find someone better than me, wear a condom, and when you realize what you had, come back to me.

[daisygirl713]

Having a hard time knowing that she's with someone else/slooting. The feeling goes on and off though, sucks to be lonely but this is the only way you can become stronger.

You are right...there are some things you have to go through, no matter how difficult or painful, to grow as a person.

Reminds me of this quote...“If nothing else, one day you can look someone straight in the eyes and say, 'But I lived through it. And it made me who I am today.'
― Iain Thomas

That is to say- nothing, no one, and no experience is wasted. We can only become better, if we choose to learn from our hardships and do better as a result of them.

[OrbOddLaw]

3
When i tried to break up with her, she said instead "go out and try and find someone better than me, wear a condom, and when you realize what you had, come back to me.

dat ego! what a catch. LAWL all dat drama after 2 months...I would have negged her irl. aside from netflix and chill that relationship sounded like a hooge anxiety trip. you are now free from the shackles and can do whatever the eff you want.

[SkullCore]

This exactly. Wish she was dead instead. Semi srs.

Haha nah, I mean we both hurt each other but I still want her to be happy, if it's not with me then someone else will do the job. I still love her in a way, or the girl she was back then but that's it. And I'll probably live dealing with that or eventually those feelings/thoughts will fade away.. no idea tbh but as long as it doesn't interfere in my personal development then all good. Not really sure about your situation breh, haven't caught up enough with the thread lately, hate won't solve anything nevertheless

You are right...there are some things you have to go through, no matter how difficult or painful, to grow as a person.

Reminds me of this quote...“If nothing else, one day you can look someone straight in the eyes and say, 'But I lived through it. And it made me who I am today.'
― Iain Thomas

That is to say- nothing, no one, and no experience is wasted. We can only become better, if we choose to learn from our hardships and do better as a result of them.

Yep, however it's different for guys. My mindset has changed so I'm not really into the dating world anymore even though I'm still young and I was a relationship guy, if anything this has changed me and I'm not sure if it's for the best or worst but I feel like at the end feeling good with yourself it's what it matters. The pain won't last forever, you just gotta keep moving forward and with time you'll start moving on slowly and get into new stuffs

[shirtlessbrah]

Having a hard time knowing that she's with someone else/slooting. The feeling goes on and off though, sucks to be lonely but this is the only way you can become stronger.

This exactly. Wish she was dead instead. Semi srs.

i don't care how bitter/jealous/selfish/immature it may sound but knowing that she's out there at night with someone else and then greeting them good morning with a kiss just crushes me. so maybe it would be easier if she was dead lol. it's funny how a few months ago when i was nc i was good but then she breaks it and i'm back at square one.

[Rambo66]

3
When i tried to break up with her, she said instead "go out and try and find someone better than me, wear a condom, and when you realize what you had, come back to me.

As crazy and as dysfunctional the relationship sounded especially so early on you owe it to her enough to tell her your broken up and atleast tell her the reasons why. Like someone else said you made the commitment to be in the relationship so you have an obligation to tell her it's over and why. As crazy as she might be it will destroy her for you to just walk away and leave. Good luck to her ever trying to trust someone again or feel happy in a relationship where she knows any second they can just get up and leave. I say you phone her tell her your sorry for not telling her sooner you were caught up with things or whatever then tell her it's over and why it happened. If she gets hostile or angry and you can't get through to her then by all means hang up but she atleast deserves to know why. I had a similar thing happen 3 months ago where my ex basically showed up with my stuff and broke up. This was a 3 year relationship and for the most part it was good until the last month or two were rough for us for things that didn't involve the relationship. She basically showed up we talked for 15 min, talked a day or two after then she completely ignored me. Didn't even get all my stuff back pretty sure she has some of my books and some random things. Point is it's destroying me wondering what happened or what brought her to that point. There's questions I just won't ever get answered and trying to deal with that is probably the hardest thing I've ever done.

i don't care how bitter/jealous/selfish/immature it may sound but knowing that she's out there at night with someone else and then greeting them good morning with a kiss just crushes me. so maybe it would be easier if she was dead lol. it's funny how a few months ago when i was nc i was good but then she breaks it and i'm back at square one.

I know exactly what you mean. I cant imagine how I'm going to take it. Luckily my ex isn't dating anyone yet I don't think. I don't wish death on my ex I almost with death upon myself so I don't have to deal with it. (not suicidal)It's funny how things in a relationship not matter how long you've dated can change in a couple days.



Well I caved and texted my ex yesterday. Don't even know why. It's been bugging me all week to text her even tho I know she wouldn't say anything back. Basically just asked her if she wanted to grab coffee anytime soon. Obviously no reply at all. I know I shouldn't have but I did, first time in about 5 weeks. Haven't actually had a conversation with her in about 10 weeks. It's funny I can give people advice but can't listen to my own damn advice sometimes. I don't feel better or worse that I texted her I'm just numb to it all now. Don't even try and have emotion because when I do it's anger, sadness, regret, anxiety basically everything terrible so I just get numb to it and ignore it until it comes out uncontrollably and ruins me. Such is life. Well I just deleted her number so even if I wanted to talk to her I can't. 3 years down the drain, wasted. i'd like to say I learnt things in the relationship but the way things ended I'm a completely different person in all the bad ways. Can't trust anyone, bad anxiety now, won't let me next gf know what I'm really thinking and def won't let her see me in my rough times. I can go on and on about all the bad traits I picked up. Even though I don't want to think or act like this I can't help it. Like there is no way I'll be able to trust someone after this happened, no way.

[BigAssBubba]

Well I caved and texted my ex yesterday. Don't even know why. It's been bugging me all week to text her even tho I know she wouldn't say anything back. Basically just asked her if she wanted to grab coffee anytime soon. Obviously no reply at all. I know I shouldn't have but I did, first time in about 5 weeks. Haven't actually had a conversation with her in about 10 weeks. It's funny I can give people advice but can't listen to my own damn advice sometimes. I don't feel better or worse that I texted her I'm just numb to it all now. Don't even try and have emotion because when I do it's anger, sadness, regret, anxiety basically everything terrible so I just get numb to it and ignore it until it comes out uncontrollably and ruins me. Such is life. Well I just deleted her number so even if I wanted to talk to her I can't. 3 years down the drain, wasted. i'd like to say I learnt things in the relationship but the way things ended I'm a completely different person in all the bad ways. Can't trust anyone, bad anxiety now, won't let me next gf know what I'm really thinking and def won't let her see me in my rough times. I can go on and on about all the bad traits I picked up. Even though I don't want to think or act like this I can't help it. Like there is no way I'll be able to trust someone after this happened, no way.

Its alright man, aleast since she didnt respond you can try and move on now. You got it off your chest to text her. I ended up texting my ex back last night and she was cold. Made me rage inside, i would of much preferred if she never contacted me again in the first place. Feel like im back at day 1 and i have two finals next week, hard to study right now. I can relate to everything you are saying. Stay strong.

[cphunter70]

I've been doing pretty good, but today it's just one of those days. For some reason I had a flashback of us cuddling on the couch on a cold night, and I remembered the blanket so vividly. Weird. I think I was listening to that justin's bieber "love yourself" song on the radio lol

I feel you but when I used to get flashback's of ex, I quickly reminded myself why it ended and that was the end of the fantasy. The less i thought of her, the more i disconnected and now it's hardly an issue. I've gone months without having any thoughts of her. Just train your mind to not think about it and don't let your emotions lead you to a place of despair.

[RockettotheFACE]

It's Friday night and she will probably be out having a great time and doing what she always does - laughing, smiling, being funny and really not giving a ****

And guess what I'm doing? Giving many, many, many ****s.

I despise the weekends - this is when I really get a massive urge to text her stuff, sometimes flirty sexy stuff, sometimes heart felt emotional stuff and sometimes really nasty stuff like how I hope she's getting ****ed by a guy that dumps her the next day. **** like that

so i have that urge right now. it's 8:30pm, she'll prolly be going out so I really want to text her and say something but I haven't and so far I don't think I will if I can keep on top of it but man...soon as it gets dark and I'm in bed alone on a Friday night I know that urge is gonna be really strong

sack all of this

[SkullCore]

It's Friday night and she will probably be out having a great time and doing what she always does - laughing, smiling, being funny and really not giving a ****

And guess what I'm doing? Giving many, many, many ****s.

I despise the weekends - this is when I really get a massive urge to text her stuff, sometimes flirty sexy stuff, sometimes heart felt emotional stuff and sometimes really nasty stuff like how I hope she's getting ****ed by a guy that dumps her the next day. **** like that

so i have that urge right now. it's 8:30pm, she'll prolly be going out so I really want to text her and say something but I haven't and so far I don't think I will if I can keep on top of it but man...soon as it gets dark and I'm in bed alone on a Friday night I know that urge is gonna be really strong

sack all of this

Yep, same here. Weekends are tough but just try to avoid the thoughts and focus on something else, if she comes to your mind just block her from it. Don't text her, I was so close to text her but then I analise the situation and there's nothing I can do, if she wants to suck dink then nothing is going to stop her, better deal with it and take it as a reminder about how she doesn't care about you

[RockettotheFACE]

all so easy to say

but almost impossible to do !