ALCOHOLICS: RECOVERY & FITNESS (Serious Only Please)

[Twineagles]

On the relationship thing, my LTR had a lot of difficulties in the early days of my getting clean. I almost walked away but I took the lessons of the steps to heart, bit my tongue when I felt like biting back, spoke my feelings to my homegroup, not to the LTR, and let myself develop in the program. Turns out it worked. What works to keep me clean and sober, worked in my relationship. Remember your husband is hurt, and maybe he is just now showing it from years past, but he's in a brutal environment. Just love him, show him you're concerned about him, and tell him you cannot wait for him to come home. You can do this. I know I did.

[Mk35]

So my mom called me yesterday afternoon and told me my father had passed away a few hours earlier… She received a call from my Aunt who notified mom. I think it was complications from liver disease; we’re waiting to hear from a social worker to find out for sure.
My dad’s alcoholism had pretty much alienated him from everyone who ever cared about him including his sons. I haven’t spoken to him in over 7 years and now that he’s gone, I wish I had. He would try to call me but I wasn’t interested. A couple months ago, my brother said he had been asking about me and wanted to contact me. My dad felt he didn't have alot of time left and wanted to talk. I told my brother that he could give my dad my # and I would be happy to talk to him.
I never received a call and now it’s too late.
I’ve been sober for a little over a year now and have been thinking… Maybe if I’d shared my sobriety with him, he might not have died while still using. Doubtful but No way to tell now.
The abuse of alcohol has done so much damage in my family that I couldn’t begin to describe it here. I know all of us grew up w/ it and have been thoroughly affected by it.
Anyway, I didn’t really react yesterday but now am recovering memories (good ones) that I had completely forgotten about and it's getting painful.
Yep, wish I would’ve spoken to him.

[Twineagles]

So my mom called me yesterday afternoon and told me my father had passed away a few hours earlier… She received a call from my Aunt who notified mom. I think it was complications from liver disease; we’re waiting to hear from a social worker to find out for sure.
My dad’s alcoholism had pretty much alienated him from everyone who ever cared about him including his sons. I haven’t spoken to him in over 7 years and now that he’s gone, I wish I had. He would try to call me but I wasn’t interested. A couple months ago, my brother said he had been asking about me and wanted to contact me. My dad felt he didn't have alot of time left and wanted to talk. I told my brother that he could give my dad my # and I would be happy to talk to him.
I never received a call and now it’s too late.
I’ve been sober for a little over a year now and have been thinking… Maybe if I’d shared my sobriety with him, he might not have died while still using. Doubtful but No way to tell now.
The abuse of alcohol has done so much damage in my family that I couldn’t begin to describe it here. I know all of us grew up w/ it and have been thoroughly affected by it.
Anyway, I didn’t really react yesterday but now am recovering memories (good ones) that I had completely forgotten about and it's getting painful.
Yep, wish I would’ve spoken to him.

MK, we all send you our sympathies but remember, your dad would have to had made his own decision. It still doesn't stop us from second guessing. Hold to the program during this tough time, and remember, we are all here for you.

[chodan9]

glad your here and sober mk35

yes
forgiveness is like a balm that heals you as you apply it to others.

[mutt7707]

Got drunk again Friday night and that was the night to be with my sons. Wife founf out and yesterday told me that ws it for us. needless to say that I am totaly ashamed and ready to end it all. I hate who I ma right now and feel as low as i have ever felt. I no longer care if I live or Die. Not looking for amy sympathy at all. I am owning up to my feelings about all this.

[Twineagles]

Got drunk again Friday night and that was the night to be with my sons. Wife founf out and yesterday told me that ws it for us. needless to say that I am totaly ashamed and ready to end it all. I hate who I ma right now and feel as low as i have ever felt. I no longer care if I live or Die. Not looking for amy sympathy at all. I am owning up to my feelings about all this.

Sit down with your sponsor and figure out where you made your bad judgment. Relapses don't happen accidentally. Somewhere and sometime on Friday, you made a conscious decision to get drunk, the same way you could have made a conscious decision to go to a meeting. You have to decide for yourself what you want to do or your bottom is going to make the decision for you.

[boathead]

alcohol is the great eraser. it erases so much more than jobs and driver's licenses. it erases relationships and opportunities at relationships.

alot of heartache going on here. my prayers to all.

[m3r1ll]

Good luck to anyone thinking about quitting drinking!!!!!!!!!!!! Started drinking daily around 96, and Been sober since May 2008 Thx to my wife and some good will power.

I have more energy now, sleep better, and lost 15 pounds. Tho im putting back on the weight , except in muscle now lol.

You have to truly want to stop, not only is it a change to not just drinking. I its a life style change. I used to not leave the house, unless thier was beer where i was going. If their wasnt, I would take it with me. Some days i was a complete mess waking up at 10 am drinking untill i passed out at 5 pm and waking up again, and doing it over till 3 am.

I got angry with myself, and wanted to prove to my wife, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. So one day I just stopped. Even left the undrank beer i had in the frig their.
Never did throw it away till a month later. The first 3 days sucked a$$, and the first week was ok. But then after a month, I found i wasnt even thinking about a drink anymore.
Everyday since then I have been free!

My father was the same way Mk, I buried him a year ago from the same exact thing at age 62, my sympathy goes out to you.

M3r1ll

[Twineagles]

I will echo that also. When I was coming off of drugs, it was hell. The addict in me would give my mind any excuse to go back and use. Meetings at least twice a day but somehow I made it. Stumbled a couple of times but I'm clean now.

[criminal4889]

when i drink sometimes i can control it and be fine, other times i am completely out of control and take it wayyyy too far and done a lot of things i regret, and even if i didn't do things i'll still wake up with high amounts of guilt and anxiety regarding what may have occurred the night before

following nights when i take it too far i am very depressed for at least a handful of days, and usually the one thing that fixes it is having a normal night out

this has happened far too often and severely limits my functionability
so i am going to completely stop for at least a couple months

why is it sometimes i can be fine drinking casual amounts and then other times i just cant stop even though i know the feeling of having 3 drinks in you is far better than having 15+

its been four days, i figure things will be better in a few weeks if i hold off

[Twineagles]

Understand. I had the same problem. The risk is that the penalty for something bad happening on those nights that you go to far, is so high, that you can really destroy the rest of your life through one mistake. Wish I had an answer for you. All I have is caution.

[criminal4889]

Understand. I had the same problem. The risk is that the penalty for something bad happening on those nights that you go to far, is so high, that you can really destroy the rest of your life through one mistake. Wish I had an answer for you. All I have is caution.

i know, and it scares the phuck outta me

woken up with cuts n bruises etc.. with zero explanation

a few decent nights out is not worth that feeling the day after a bad night out

[GirLInterrupted]

So my mom called me yesterday afternoon and told me my father had passed away a few hours earlier… She received a call from my Aunt who notified mom. I think it was complications from liver disease; we’re waiting to hear from a social worker to find out for sure.
My dad’s alcoholism had pretty much alienated him from everyone who ever cared about him including his sons. I haven’t spoken to him in over 7 years and now that he’s gone, I wish I had. He would try to call me but I wasn’t interested. A couple months ago, my brother said he had been asking about me and wanted to contact me. My dad felt he didn't have alot of time left and wanted to talk. I told my brother that he could give my dad my # and I would be happy to talk to him.
I never received a call and now it’s too late.
I’ve been sober for a little over a year now and have been thinking… Maybe if I’d shared my sobriety with him, he might not have died while still using. Doubtful but No way to tell now.
The abuse of alcohol has done so much damage in my family that I couldn’t begin to describe it here. I know all of us grew up w/ it and have been thoroughly affected by it.
Anyway, I didn’t really react yesterday but now am recovering memories (good ones) that I had completely forgotten about and it's getting painful.
Yep, wish I would’ve spoken to him.

I'm so sorry MK... I wish I had some words of wisdom. However, don't drive yourself crazy second guessing yourself. You have done nothing wrong at all. ((((hugs))))

[GirLInterrupted]

Got drunk again Friday night and that was the night to be with my sons. Wife founf out and yesterday told me that ws it for us. needless to say that I am totaly ashamed and ready to end it all. I hate who I ma right now and feel as low as i have ever felt. I no longer care if I live or Die. Not looking for amy sympathy at all. I am owning up to my feelings about all this.

Friday was Friday, today is today. Don't drink today. Don't put yourself down for drinking, it will only make you want to drink more. Is your wife talking to you now? I'm sorry you are going through so much right now

[GirLInterrupted]

when i drink sometimes i can control it and be fine, other times i am completely out of control and take it wayyyy too far and done a lot of things i regret, and even if i didn't do things i'll still wake up with high amounts of guilt and anxiety regarding what may have occurred the night before

following nights when i take it too far i am very depressed for at least a handful of days, and usually the one thing that fixes it is having a normal night out

this has happened far too often and severely limits my functionability
so i am going to completely stop for at least a couple months

why is it sometimes i can be fine drinking casual amounts and then other times i just cant stop even though i know the feeling of having 3 drinks in you is far better than having 15+

its been four days, i figure things will be better in a few weeks if i hold off

I'm pretty much the exact same way. I wish I could be cool when I drink, and I rare occasions I am/was... If I go a couple of months then I drink normally for a bit, but then it will slowly creep up on me and I will be a drunk fool every weekend. Since I started lifting I do not drink during the week. This had/has me convinced that I do not have a problem, or rather not an alcoholic.

Best of luck with your efforts!

[criminal4889]

I'm pretty much the exact same way. I wish I could be cool when I drink, and I rare occasions I am/was... If I go a couple of months then I drink normally for a bit, but then it will slowly creep up on me and I will be a drunk fool every weekend. Since I started lifting I do not drink during the week. This had/has me convinced that I do not have a problem, or rather not an alcoholic.

Best of luck with your efforts!

yea i become convinced im not an alcoholic when i limit myself to a few beers on a few occasions

but then there i am again next time drinking til i pass out

[209vaughn]

Got drunk again Friday night and that was the night to be with my sons. Wife founf out and yesterday told me that ws it for us. needless to say that I am totaly ashamed and ready to end it all. I hate who I ma right now and feel as low as i have ever felt. I no longer care if I live or Die. Not looking for amy sympathy at all. I am owning up to my feelings about all this.

He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.

Chapter 11 - Alcoholics Anonymous

[GreenWave1]

So my mom called me yesterday afternoon and told me my father had passed away a few hours earlier… She received a call from my Aunt who notified mom. I think it was complications from liver disease; we’re waiting to hear from a social worker to find out for sure.
My dad’s alcoholism had pretty much alienated him from everyone who ever cared about him including his sons. I haven’t spoken to him in over 7 years and now that he’s gone, I wish I had. He would try to call me but I wasn’t interested. A couple months ago, my brother said he had been asking about me and wanted to contact me. My dad felt he didn't have alot of time left and wanted to talk. I told my brother that he could give my dad my # and I would be happy to talk to him.
I never received a call and now it’s too late.
I’ve been sober for a little over a year now and have been thinking… Maybe if I’d shared my sobriety with him, he might not have died while still using. Doubtful but No way to tell now.
The abuse of alcohol has done so much damage in my family that I couldn’t begin to describe it here. I know all of us grew up w/ it and have been thoroughly affected by it.
Anyway, I didn’t really react yesterday but now am recovering memories (good ones) that I had completely forgotten about and it's getting painful.
Yep, wish I would’ve spoken to him.

I am sorry for your loss. That is really heavy. Your experience is a warning to everyone who has lost contact with loved ones. There is no going back. When my brother was murdered, he and my mother were not speaking. It haunts her to this day.

Good on you getting and staying sober. You took the steps you needed to take care of yourself. You cannot own the choices that your father made.

[GreenWave1]

Got drunk again Friday night and that was the night to be with my sons. Wife founf out and yesterday told me that ws it for us. needless to say that I am totaly ashamed and ready to end it all. I hate who I ma right now and feel as low as i have ever felt. I no longer care if I live or Die. Not looking for amy sympathy at all. I am owning up to my feelings about all this.

I agree with twineagles. Get with your sponsor and figure this out.

Where is bottom for you?

[GreenWave1]

i know, and it scares the phuck outta me

woken up with cuts n bruises etc.. with zero explanation

a few decent nights out is not worth that feeling the day after a bad night out

What are you going to do about it?

Stopping for a few months is a good start. Sounds like you might want to stop for good.

[mutt7707]

I think this is it. I am in a treatment plan at the local drug abuse center. THey are going to ask me to go into in-patient treatment I think as I seem to be regressing a lot here.

[GreenWave1]

I think this is it. I am in a treatment plan at the local drug abuse center. THey are going to ask me to go into in-patient treatment I think as I seem to be regressing a lot here.

glad to hear it. Hopefully they can help you help yourself.

[Twineagles]

I think this is it. I am in a treatment plan at the local drug abuse center. THey are going to ask me to go into in-patient treatment I think as I seem to be regressing a lot here.

Good luck Mutt. Sometimes coming out of your environment to somewhere that is quiet is a big help. In case we don't hear from you, know that we are here and you are in our thoughts. You can do this and things are always better without the haze.

[chodan9]

good luck mutt!
I think that will be a good move for you.

[GirLInterrupted]

I think this is it. I am in a treatment plan at the local drug abuse center. THey are going to ask me to go into in-patient treatment I think as I seem to be regressing a lot here.

Good luck!!!

[wolfpack7483]

Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful. Good luck to everyone struggling with sobriety today. Trust your higher power, clean house, help others.

[cowboybiker]

I think this is it. I am in a treatment plan at the local drug abuse center. THey are going to ask me to go into in-patient treatment I think as I seem to be regressing a lot here.

When I first startyed out my P.O. told me to do 2 meetings a week. I would go, but I would get high before I went. I even slole the basic text from a meeting. They chased me down and made me give it back. They said I could buy it but the money in my pocket was for my next bag. So I gave it back. I had countless drug charges, weapons, burglary's , robberies and manufacturing charges all behind my addiction. I was eventually sent to an Inpatient program and have been clean ever since. I was happy to go. Glad it was all over. I've had some bumps in the road from time to time, but who has'nt ?
You need to make a concious decision. Life is a series of choices, some good and some not so good. So I would suggest that you do whatever is necessary to save yourself from yourself. But its your life and your choice as to how you want to live it.
I hope you make a good one.
A windshield is bigger than a rearview mirror, cause where your going is more important than where you've been.
Keep moving forward and dont live in the past.
No amount of worry can change it.
I hope this helps.

[boathead]

I think this is it. I am in a treatment plan at the local drug abuse center. THey are going to ask me to go into in-patient treatment I think as I seem to be regressing a lot here.

go for it, mutt.
i loved my rehab. didn't want to leave it, i felt so safe. for once in my life.

i haven't had a drink since the day i entered, 8/29/03. i often wonder how the other folks made out.

[billrich210]

The economy sucks. Food and gas are getting more expensive every day. Insurance has gone up. Haven't had a raise in five years and a promise of a pay cut come July 1st. But you know what people? Life is good and I am happy.........because I am sober!!!!

Wishing you all the best! Stay strong.

Bill

[chodan9]

The economy sucks. Food and gas are getting more expensive every day. Insurance has gone up. Haven't had a raise in five years and a promise of a pay cut come July 1st. But you know what people? Life is good and I am happy.........because I am sober!!!!

Wishing you all the best! Stay strong.

Bill

well said!
no matter how crazy things get I haven't had to take a drink or use drugs today.

awesome day!