Notice I said the bottom of the list of important things, not unimportant.
Ahhh, but if you have all the glorious things then the physical will naturally follow. Which is why the OP should stop focusing on his sexual needs and get back inline with his wife. Sex only masks the issues temporarily which is why it is at the bottom of the the list.You can have all the glorious things that you and you wife possess, but if the physical isn't there it isn't gonna work.
I don't really get what you are saying. I never said everything had to be perfect for things to move forward. Most issues are not so important that it involves putting sex on hold. So like you, we discuss what needs to be discuss and move on.A license to cheat? Of course not. But when you and your old lady are on the couch sharing "love tears" about your feelings, and exchanging "healing hugs" to make everything zen, me and my girl will have discussed the issues, moved forward in a positive direction and gotten busy gettin busy. We have mutual respect, and it doesn't involve pretending to have all the answers.
Truthfully, my wife have not a single serious issue in about two years, but the last major one we had was very similar to the OPs in that I wanted her to enjoy the sex as much as I did. She gave it up when ever I wanted, but she didn't care about herself getting off and that wasn't good enough for me. She thought that it should of been because my needs were being met, but in reality they were not because I knew she wasn't into it and there were underlying reasons for it in which I wasn't aware of. **** hit the fan real fast because there were a ton off issues going on with her and us beneath the surface that we had to deal with. Some of them revolved around me, and some did not. But we worked it out together. It took a while and we had more hate sex than love sex during that time.
In the OP's case the issues run deeper than he may suspect, and he will never know what is truly going on unless he and his wife can communicate rather than pointing fingers.
|
Thread: Cant Have Sex With My Wife!!!
-
01-30-2009, 04:45 PM #241
Last edited by pondus_levo; 01-30-2009 at 04:49 PM.
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=131498033
You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.
Knee Dragger - '06 GSX-R750
-
01-30-2009, 05:01 PM #242
That's the stuff he NEEDS to hear. This man feels hopeless right now and is resorting to desperate measures.
All he's hearing is what a piece of trash he is and how everything is his fault. How it's all so easy if he just follows the plan all these sensitive lovers lay out for him. If its his fault so be it.
If its not, he is gonna be worse off after this thread.
Wait till some of these white night nimrods get cheated on or end up in a relationship like this. Their attitudes will change.
Back when I was a young prick, I preyed on women that were with guys like these. Easy targets. A lot of men cuddled with girls I just hit.
I'm ashamed now and would change it all, but it happened nonetheless. NEVER say never gentlemen. No matter how caring you think you are or how secure you think your relationship is.
-
01-30-2009, 05:09 PM #243
-
01-30-2009, 05:11 PM #244
-
-
01-30-2009, 05:14 PM #245
I did understand and you were making a much bigger effort to communicate the issues. The OP's wife should be like you were and get vocal and stop sitting there like she's see through. I mean, she doesn't kiss him and won't admit there is a problem. She won't go to a doctor for vaginal pains.......Come on!
-
01-30-2009, 05:19 PM #246
-
01-30-2009, 05:23 PM #247
-
01-30-2009, 05:35 PM #248
If you have read all the posts I have put up today, I am not criticizing him for needing to have sex with his wife. I'm criticizing the way he handled it.
2. I''m not a saint and don't claim to be. I am just very proud of the work my partner and I have done to grow into a healthy relationship. It would be like seeing a guy at the gym doing his workout totally wrong and you know how he could change it to make it even better but he blows you off and says that yo don't know what the hell you're talking about.
It just aggrivates me when people (men or women) say they want the relationship to work out etc; but they keep doing things that are going to have the opposite effect.
-
-
01-30-2009, 05:38 PM #249
-
01-30-2009, 05:39 PM #250
-
01-30-2009, 05:52 PM #251
-
01-30-2009, 05:53 PM #252
-
-
01-30-2009, 06:00 PM #253
They see me kneppin'... They hatin
Bishes just wants men to be talkin' dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirty
My love be so true... They trippin'
Bishes be seeing me as a friend perenially
Trying to get me talkin dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirty
When I was a youngun, was always clean
Always good to a bish, never mean
When they saw me ride, I weren't even seen
Below_30 told me, "Son you gotta be mean"
Charles Knepp was my freaking idol
Couldn't get a number on my cycle
Bein too nice had me freakin
Heart hurt so bad felt like it was leakin
They see me kneppin'... They hatin
Bishes just wants men to be talkin' dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirty
My love be so true... They trippin'
Bishes be seeing me as a friend perenially
Trying to get me talkin dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirty
Trying to get me talkin dirtyWhen all that says 'it is good' has been debunked, what says 'I want' remains.
- CS Lewis
-
01-30-2009, 06:03 PM #254
-
01-30-2009, 06:04 PM #255
- Join Date: Oct 2008
- Location: Paw Paw, Michigan, United States
- Age: 42
- Posts: 1,782
- Rep Power: 931
This may or may not apply to your situation but sometimes my wife just want's to be taken forcefully... like she'll say "no" but really means "try harder"... she only sorta fights off my advances... that kind of thing... food for thought anyway.
Shouldn't you be lifting something heavy instead of reading this?
[]---[] Equipment Crew Member No. 8
Workout Equipment Crew: We do it on Power Racks
Bashing the Bowflex since 2008 for DiamondDelts
Bulldozer feeds upon the weaker as they fall. Bulldozer crushes all! - Machine Head
Owes me a case of beer: dolson27
-
01-30-2009, 06:08 PM #256
-
-
01-30-2009, 06:14 PM #257
-
01-30-2009, 06:15 PM #258
Whoever coined these stupid internet terms needs to be strangled... But anyway, since someone disagrees with you they don't have a "real" opinion? You're such an assclown it's ridiculous. I've called you on your bull**** plenty of times and you made no "real" argument to back anything up. If you get so many chicks why aren't you out bangin them mang?
-
01-30-2009, 06:17 PM #259
I guess I missed the part where he blew your help off. That must have quite a few posts in, cause you certainly didn't offer help in the beginning.
Listen, I understand how hard it is to objective as opposed to subjective. Roughly 2 people in this thread put personal feelings and experiences aside to offer their perspective.
By the way, I usually avoid conflict with redheads cause you all are wild souls! God bless yaLast edited by alero; 01-30-2009 at 06:20 PM.
-
01-30-2009, 06:20 PM #260
Hey brah I am 6'2 285 well built, yeah I have a little layer of fat around the midsection, but its not like you can look at me and say hey there goes a big sloppy piece of ****. Like I mentioned before I put some weight on after boxing, but I also cut down the cardio quite alot and lifted heavier and more then I did in boxing. I've changed up my workouts, my diet and have upped my cardio.
Trust my wife does like her men big and built not some 6'6 string bean walking around talking bout how people should look into changing their appearance.
If you previously read any posts you would have noticed that her denial and lack of enthusiam has occured after I cut down in weight.
Now please stop making yourself throw up after your meals Ashley Olsen.Native warrior on the streets and in the sheets.
-
-
01-30-2009, 06:27 PM #261
- Join Date: Jul 2005
- Location: BMBC Outpost: Galapagos Islands, Ecuador
- Posts: 17,561
- Rep Power: 160299
How would they be sacrificing their manhood for her vagina when they are commenting on the OP's relationship? Wouldn't they really be sacrificing their manhood for the OP's wife vagina? Someone they don't even know and will never know. I'm sure that's a great reason for someone to give up their manhood. To **** the ops wife like that's really realistic.
-
01-30-2009, 06:38 PM #262
-
01-30-2009, 06:41 PM #263
-
01-30-2009, 06:43 PM #264
Unlike you, t he knights don't need to be given a hug and told "good job" for being a good person. You're just looking for me to say, "30! You are SUCH a friggin awesome man, I WISH I could find someone like you" (smothered in disgust and sarcasm).
But, you're a good opponent, thats why i like arguing with you. :P
-
-
01-30-2009, 06:43 PM #265
-
01-30-2009, 06:45 PM #266
-
01-30-2009, 06:50 PM #267
-
01-30-2009, 06:51 PM #268
Why is it that so many married couples have this problem? Generally, it is a problem on the woman's side. You cannot tell me all those women are having psychological problems, or problems with menopause or health problems. I really think a lot of women out there just think they have their man now and dont have to work for it anymore. I do not criticize the OP for having an affair. Why is one person in the relationship allowed to be selfish and decide what is going to go on, or not go on, in the bedroom while giving the other person no say?
I've got a lot of work to do!
-
-
01-30-2009, 06:52 PM #269
-
01-30-2009, 06:56 PM #270
serious, stop having sex with ANYONE except your wife if your married, ESPECIALLY if you have a child. it would "tear her up" if you two divorced? what do you think it would do to her if she knew you guys divorced mommy got sole custody and poisoned her with thoughts of what a dick you are for cheating, ever think of that?
take my advice man, stop cheating YESTERDAY
Bookmarks