How to help a friend with Drug Addiction?

[Bigbuster1]

A friend of mine has basically gone off the deep end with Pepsi and is clearly addicted.

He’s going on two/three day benders with Pepsi and hooks then crashing for two to three days and rinse and repeat.

He cut himself off and is in a fight with his entire family.

Cursed his friend/boss out and is no longer working

Lost weight / looks really skinny

He’s got into verbal fights with other friends and cuts them out of his life



He’s still friends with our 5 man friend group but obviously we aren’t involved with his activities.

We tried to talk to him last night and I just asked him point blank: “do you want to stop doing Pepsi?” He flat out said no. And I asked him if he wants us to help him stop which he also flat out said no.

I obviously knew this wasn’t going to work in any meaningful way, but just wanted to gauge his reaction.

I know someone can’t/ won’t get help if they don’t want to do it themselves.

But does anyone have any resources or experience dealing with something like this?

[volleys]

Set boundaries. Tell him you’ll be there if you need him, but you don’t want to hang out with a Pepsi addict. If he chooses the drug over you, so be it. You are the same as the crowd you keep, don’t let it bring you down.

Sounds like it’s a little more than Pepsi. Maybe crystal Pepsi

[thursdayParty1]

[suave2000]

Get him to suck you off for pepsi . That will be rock bottom and the only way then is UP!

[Akd123]

theres nothing you can do. Either let him do his thing or go NC

[WoofieNugget]

You asked him if he wanted help, and he said no. The best thing you can do is let him know that if he ever does want help the door is open, but you're not going to enable his behavior and have to stop hanging out with him.

Unfortunately they often need to have their lives ruined before they wake up with jail, serious health issues, etc. But you can't pull him out of it as much as you might want to. Accept that he might not come back and move on.

[mrdot]

That's methed up

[bezarker]

If you're serious find an NA group and go with him, if he means anything to you and vice versa support him.

[Bigbuster1]

You asked him if he wanted help, and he said no. The best thing you can do is let him know that if he ever does want help the door is open, but you're not going to enable his behavior and have to stop hanging out with him.

Unfortunately they often need to have their lives ruined before they wake up with jail, serious health issues, etc. But you can't pull him out of it as much as you might want to. Accept that he might not come back and move on.

I believe this is the reality. Unfortunately I believe it takes everyone in his life that cares about him to follow suit and do the same thing to be effective.

Obviously I can only control my own actions not everyone else. But this is probably what I will do.

If you're serious find an NA group and go with him, if he means anything to you and vice versa support him.

I have no problem attempting this but I already asked him if he wants me to help him and he said no. I honestly don’t believe he will physically come with me. But I can try

[tripod29]

He has said he doesn't want help/quit. Until that changes you can't do chit. Srs, vry srs.

[bezarker]

I have no problem attempting this but I already asked him if he wants me to help him and he said no. I honestly don’t believe he will physically come with me. But I can try

Bro as someone who has seen their fair share of friends/acquaintances who have **** their lives away all I can tell you is that first he needs to see it for what it is and you need to be there for him when he needs it. In good and bad times.

[MajorTendonitis]

From my experiences you can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves. My dirt biking friend was crying for me to give him money because they were going to cut off his cell phone from non pay .
I’m like , wtf happened to the 100k you made when you sold your house? He’s like I spent it all on Pepsi . I’m like , you spent 100k on Pepsi in a year? Yup apparently.
That chits absolutely brutal , I spend money on stupid chit , but I have something to show for it .
And every time I hear people claim they done with it , they never truely are . Well I should say they won’t unless they hit rock bottom and have an epiphany

[FoulSmell]

Cut him out of your life before he brings you down.

[chuckcammy]

from personal experience, tell him you're here for him if he needs help, then let him crash and burn. hopefully, he'll seek help then.

[AncientYouth]

he needs to hit his Bottom ........don't let it be yours

[GuineaDago585]

You don’t. You cut them off or eventually they will turn on you.

Speaking from experience of losing multiple friends to addiction, once they go off the deep end there’s nothing you can do to help them. They will either help themselves after they hit rock bottom, or circle the drain until they OD or go to prison. Junkies are master manipulators, liars, and become vindictive when they feel slighted. Their minds have been poisoned. Speaking in generalities, you might do everything right by your friend, but the moment you ignore his texts asking for money, he will turn on you. Best thing to do is let him go (ded fkin srs).

[Bigbuster1]

he needs to hit his Bottom ........don't let it be yours

Would you give up your hole to save a life?

That’s the real question

[LethalGunz34]

He has said he doesn't want help/quit. Until that changes you can't do chit. Srs, vry srs.

This.

[401Delta]

Jettison him like he's a burning aircraft on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier.

Srs.

It worked for Osama Bin Laden and it will work equally well for your friend.

[8eggs]

North Carolina

its better to cut your losses now. you don't want what's next to drag you down.

strait no contact , block all calls. rid yourself of decay and people on that path.

[Sgt T-Man]

He has said he doesn't want help/quit. Until that changes you can't do chit. Srs, vry srs.

This, no way around it.
Just be there for him when he reaches out for help, he will need to sink lower before looking to get out IMO.

[Kiop]

rehabilitation center

[ithappenss]

rehabilitation center

waste of money unless he wants to quit there's nothing a person can do

[Bigbuster1]

Just an update in case anyone is going though something similar.

I decided to text my friend basically that I am worried about him and that when I went through a difficult time in my life the only people that I reached out to were my friends. That I think he has a drug problem. And that he doesn’t need to agree with me now, but to please reply to my message acknowledging that he received it and he understands his friends are here to help him.

He replied back a Pepsi-fueled rant about the problems in his life not related to drugs.

I just texted him back saying I need time read what he wrote and I will get back to him in time.

For some reason that resonated with him and he ended up calling me the next day basically wondering why I didn’t answer him/ engage with him on his personal problems.

I told him straight up that I think he has a drug addiction and that his Pepsi use is hurting our friendship and that I he think he needs help and that’s ok.

He was stone silent for like a minute and neither of said a word. I said what I needed to say so there was no reason for me to jump in, I was waiting for a response.

He didn’t get mad or fly off that handle like I thought he would. He actually said something like “this is why I love you, you’re no BS and you just go straight to saying it like it is.”

So I said something like “do you agree with me? There’s nothing really I can do if you don’t think you have a problem. You dont have to agree with me, but I’m here to help if you think I can help you.”

He said something like “well I think by my silence earlier, you should know that I know what you’re talking about.” Or something like that falling just short of agreeing with me.

He then went on a 40 min rant about the problems in his life and how everyone is screwing him over and I just put the phone on mute on my end and patiently let him talk for 40 min straight without saying a word.

After that, I ignored what I considered his 40 min distraction and just said all of those issues can be worked on later, what I’m talking about is your problem with Pepsi and your addiction to it. Do you want to stop doing Pepsi and do you want help. Which to my surprise he said something like he’d be open to it.

So I told him ok. I’m not sure what help is available, I’m going to put a phone call out and get back to you and he said ok.

I called connection from a friend that is a sponsor at an NA meeting and she gave me some options.

So I called my friend back and I told him we can try two things, we can go to an NA meeting tonight, if you want I can go with you, or you can talk to this woman and she can explain how a meeting works.

He chose talk to the girl. So I got her on a three way call and I think she did a good job of easing him into going to a meeting. They kinda speak the same language. I could tell that when she mentioned “chips” and “sponser” labels he kinda freaked out. He definitely doesn’t like labels like that. He also “accidentally” referred to himself as a drug addict during the call and kinda freaked out that he referred to himself as that.


So we went to the meeting at night. He actually came. It was us two and two more friends.

The meeting itself, I wasn’t too impressed with. It just seemed like a bunch of formalities with not much substance going on. Then one person spoke and basically said that the meetings aren’t what’s important, it’s the commitment, work, and relationships with your community and sponsor outside the meetings that what matters. That resonated with me as his friend because I was expecting the meetings to be the work, and this meeting just seemed lame imo.

He was bouncing off the walls the entire meeting and on his phone most of the time but he didn’t bolt out or get mad or anything.

He actually stood up an announced that this was his first meeting and he’s thankful to have his 3 best friends here with him.


When the meeting ended I purposely played stupid and just kept staying in the meeting room hoping he would go up and talk to someone one-on-one or someone would talk to him since he said it was his first meeting. To my surprise, no one came and said anything to him.


We eventually left the meeting and went back to one of my friends place and just talked about what happened and manly what he didn’t like about it.

I said, why don’t you address these concerns with the girl that got us to the meeting. (She couldn’t make the meeting in person today, and attended the meeting virtually).

So I put her on the phone and they talked for an hour as he was bouncing off the walls and me and my friends just sat there. She was able to put him in his place a little but also speak to him from the same addict experience that he could probably relate to. She agreed to be his sponsor and he put her number in his phone as “sponsor”.

After that he left to go home.

The meeting was at 10pm and i didn’t get home until 1am.

I don’t know what the future holds but I think it went about as well as it could for one day. The rest is on him.

So I’m glad I offered help and gave him a chance instead of just blocking him and cutting him off. But we will see what happens.


Hope this helps anyone reading

[bezarker]

all you can do is try man, the rest is up to him.

[TheScapeGOAT]

You’re a good friend, op.

[ithappenss]

he's gona be going through some crazy withdrawals atm. toughest part is getting past them but ofc cant baby sit him 24/7

[volleys]

Good luck bud.

Be aware that meth makes you do crazy ****, he might be acquiescing to you on these meetings as a way to make sure you’re invested in him and will be a person to call to bail him out of jail when his addiction causes him to victimize people.

What’s your breakpoint with him? I suggest you draw a mental line in the sand with him if he continues to use. You gotta look out for number one, after all

[Bigbuster1]

all you can do is try man, the rest is up to him.

Thanks your PM helped too so thank you.

You’re a good friend, op.

Thank you

he's gona be going through some crazy withdrawals atm. toughest part is getting past them but ofc cant baby sit him 24/7

Yeah I think the hard part for me is that I’m a very hands on person. But I just have to discipline myself that it isn’t up to me reach out to him to offer solutions.

He has his own journey to go through and it would be selfish of me to interfere.

It’s a hard line for me to walk between helping and enabling. So I’m trying to stay out of it unless he comes to me and let the relationship develop between him and the sponsor.

Good luck bud.

Be aware that meth makes you do crazy ****, he might be acquiescing to you on these meetings as a way to make sure you’re invested in him and will be a person to call to bail him out of jail when his addiction causes him to victimize people.

What’s your breakpoint with him? I suggest you draw a mental line in the sand with him if he continues to use. You gotta look out for number one, after all

I don’t think he was doing meth. I think just party drugs like Pepsi, k, and 2c.

I don’t think he even has momentum with alcohol. Just party drugs and sex.

But if he called me from jail I would not bail him out.

But yes I am trying to brace myself that this could all be manipulation and I can’t fall into that

[Bigbuster1]

Giving another update since misc was down for two weeks.


He was in good contact with his “Sponser” for about a week calling her all the time and eventually met her for a second meeting where he figured out she was fatter than her Instagram pictures and dropped her immediately lol.

He’s also for sure a sex addict.


So he stopped going to any meetings, doesn’t think he needs a program or Sponser or anything. It was all pretty much BS.

He’s been hitting up everyone for money and no one is really giving him anything any more as far as I know.

Everyone is basically shutting him out and sick of him at this point.

I talked to him again and basically told him if wants to get help that I would try to be there to help him but I can’t really do anything else for him and definitely can’t give him money.

So everyone way pretty much right that I should just cut him off, but I didn’t really lose anything trying to help and glad I at least made an effort.

Everyone is basically at the point where we realize he just has to hit whatever his rock bottom is and there’s nothing we can do.


Drugs are a hell of a drug