TurdMuffin's HOW TO COOK HEALTHY AND TASTY THREAD (pics)(recipes)

[TurdMuffin]

After posting in another thread w/ a miscer asking how to cook healthy, a few asked me to create my own thread with my recipes. Sadly I don't know the macros for these dishes but it shouldn't be hard to find. These first few recipes are from the other thread, but I will update when I cook new things. Feel free to post or pm me any questions or comments.

First things firs though:
ESSENTIALS TO BUY
1) chicken breasts
2) whatever cut of beef you like. honestly in that herb crusted steak i posted, a lot of it is a chuck roast that i cut into steak sized portions. not as good as steak but when you grill it, it's fine
3) ground beef
***for these, wait until they go on sale, buy a bunch and freeze it
4) rice- you can get the boil in bag or minute rice which is easiest by farrrr and much quicker, but not as cheap as regular raw rice
5) seasoning- my staple seasonings are salt, pepper, garlic salt, steak seasoning and crushed red pepper... as you find out what you like you can expand. herbs like basil and oregano and pretty essential too.
6)veggies- i like to cook with onions and peppers a lot as you can see, but on the side i like broccolie, cauliflower and carrots (just google how to cook these in a microwave). i like sweet potatoes too- to cook these cut the ends off so it's shaped more like a regular potato, poke holes in it with a fork and microwave it for about 5 minutes., cut it open and put cinnamon on it (or butter and brown sugar if u r dirty bulking) soo tasty.


now on to the recipes.

First up: Chicken Sausage w/ Peppers and Onions
1) chop op onions, peppers and chicken sausage (got this from sams club and it comes pre cooked so u just need to warm it up)

2)put it in a pan over medium heat. medium heat means the knob on your oven should be in between high and low.

3)stir it around and add seasonings like crushed red pepper, salt, garlic salt, pepper, steak seasoning etc.
4)enjoy the yummy yummy

[TurdMuffin]

teriyaki beef and rice


1)cook some rice. boil in bag is easiest but not the cheapest-2 bags=2 cups uncooked or 4 cups cooked

2) while your rice is cooking chop your veggies: various peppers, onions, garlic

3)brown some meat-this is 2 ponud of 95/5- for this dish i like to use 1lb of meat per bag of rice

4)when the meat is nearly browned drain the extra fat- pour it into a plastic cup or something before u throw it in the trash- if you pour it down the drain it can clog, if you pour it right into the trash it can melt your bag
5)throw in veggies and seasoning- crushed red pepper, garlic salt, onion powder, ginger powder, hot sauce, teriyaki sauce and soy sayce (all of these are not needed). cook for a couple minutes until the veggies start to soften up a little.

6)put the rice in and add more teriyaki and soy sauce

[TurdMuffin]

Marinated Steak

1)night before get steak and put into ziplock bag with marinade- make sure you push all the air out- you can make your own or since you cant cook just buy a premader marinade
2) heat oven on high heat
3)open oven, turn to med heat and put steak on and close it
***steps 2 and 3 are important so that 1) it will sear the meat and it won't stick to the grills, 2) dem aesthetic grill marks


4)5-6 min later open and flip ***can vary depending on how you like your steak done
5)in another few min take it off- while it's on the grill cut into the center and check to make sure it's done how you like
6) enjoy dat steak man
[/QUOTE]

cooking it like this you should only have to flip it once.

[datboigene]

innnnnnnnnnnnnn and wow second meal looks amazing op

[TurdMuffin]

Herb Crusted Steak

1)lay steak out on cutting board
2)sprinkle on herbs- basil, oregano, and chives are a must (rosemary, parsley and thyme if you have them) also garlic salt, and if you like spice something like crushed or ground red pepper
3)pat the seasonsing with your hand so they stay on the steak
4)flip steaks and repeat steps 2 and 3 on other side

5)cook same as previous steak.
6) enjoy

[AlfaAzfuk]

Subbed and will rep on rc

[PrimeraRS]

were da chicken at

[Patient Bear]

first 2 meals look delicious as fuark, but your steaks look like **** tbh

[freeburn]

cool stuff, repped

[Crease1234]

As promised in aforementioned thread, will rep once recharge for being a gentleman and a chef.

[2soon]

subbed cant wait for me

[TurdMuffin]

Rice and Sausage w/ Marinara (too easy)
1) put 1 cup cooked rice in a bowl
2) cut up 2 of those chicken sausages i mentioned earlier
3) pour marinara sauce on
4)microwave it

innnnnnnnnnnnnn and wow second meal looks amazing op

thanks brah. love cooking, and most brahs get intimidated by the kitchen. when a lot of people see a dish they think "oh i could never make something that good!" but i'm here to show it isn't that hard!

[ImpressiveGainz]

Questioning tastiness of food prepared by someone named TurdMuffin.

[TurdMuffin]

first 2 meals look delicious as fuark, but your steaks look like **** tbh

i will admit the marinated steak does look bad, but it was before i was actually good at cooking. it tasted amazing though which is the important thing.

[mattwhey]

interesting

[Bannister11]

what's going on

oh lawd

[TurdMuffin]

steak kabobs

1)soak skewers in water- i do it overnight but some people do it for just an hour before
2)night before marinate steaks- i like some kind of asian/teriyaki marinade for these
3))cut up onions and peppers as you will see in the pic below
4)cut steak into strips
5)put steak/peppers/onions (you can use mushrooms too) onto skewers
6) these youll want the heat a little under medium, and you really have to watch them or you can burn the veggies. these will cook much faster than a whole steak and will probaly only need 3or so min per side

[Kard]

Yes! Good for you OP.

Subbed.

[TurdMuffin]

recipe going out to those keto bras who need some of dat sweet dessert time
keto no bakes

1) put 10-12 scoops protein into a bowl
2))put 10-12 TBSP almond oil into the bowl
***(these numbers can be adjusted to suit needs. i just made some for my gf who was doing a quick cut before a pump and run using 8 and 8, but i find using equal amounts of both helps keep the macro ratio good)
3) chop up 1lb almonds in food processor and put in bowl
4)a little bit water to it. not too much tho, you dont want it soupy. this mixture should be very thick. if you add too much water just add more protein and oil

5)put into a baking dish- i think i used a 9x9
6)chill in fridge
7) enjoy


i'm pretty sure this yielded bars that were appx 35f,30p,3c

[BTTB3]

Came in expecting recipe for a turd muffin. Leaving disappointed.

[ftblplyr46]

Subbed for later

[CheeseSteak]

looks good, but Turdmuffin? c'mon

[point-guard]

its call kebab brah. not kabob

[Jagd24]

Thanks OP!

I dont want to trample into your thread, but just wanted to add something I always do for grilled chicken.

The night before or a few hours before grilling I lather the chicken breasts with srichacha sauce and honey. They I Add water, black pepper, srichacha sauce, honey, and salt to a ziplock bag and put the chicken in to marinade. I never have exact measurements but a little goes a long way.

Heat up the grill, put the chicken on and pour some of the remaining marinade on top of the chicken. Let it cook, flip, and pour some more of the marinade on.

[Patient Bear]

i will admit the marinated steak does look bad, but it was before i was actually good at cooking. it tasted amazing though which is the important thing.

agreed, something about it seems off though...it looks raw

[TurdMuffin]

Grilled Alfredo Chicken

1)thaw chicken breasts, rinse them and trim off excess fat
2)heat grill up on high
3)while grill is heating coat both sides of chicken in this powder.

4) reduce heat to medium
5)put chicken on and cook for 4-5 min each side
6) enjoy

its call kebab brah. not kabob

[kryptonik]

agreed, something about it seems off though...it looks raw

It was cooked with too low of a heat.

Instead, start your grill, high heat, let it get hot as ****, then throw the steak in there.

[Gordon Bombay]

Awesome thread OP

[TurdMuffin]

Strawberry Pie
Yes even on a cut you can have your cake (pie) and eat it too.

1) get a package of straberries and cut tops off, then cut strawberries into halves or chunks. put in an empty pie crust.
2)put 3tbsp constarch, 1C stevia/splenda or even real sugar if you want, 1 C water into a saucepan
3)head over medium heat until it starts to bubble/thicken
4)put in sugar free strawberry jellow and stir
5)pour over strawberries.
6)put in fridge to cool.

agreed, something about it seems off though...it looks raw

well the one on the grill is raw... i just put in on the grill and hadn't flipped it yet.

[xeron]

going out and buying materials for 2nd meal now. srs. u r 1 cheeky kunt op i swear m8