Friends bringing me down

[orlando_c]

Since i began drinking I came to the conclusion that alcohol and my physical performance don't mix, so I have to choose one. I either focus 100% on my weight room goals or not at all. The occasional beer is okay to me, but not wake up on the counter people sleeping in the kitchen drunk. After a heavy night of drinking, I feel the effects for days, and that equals a weeks worth of missed sessions.

As of late I've gotten serious about bodybuilding, but my buds don't get it. If I turn down a night out, they take it personal like I'm pulling the "holy'er than thou" routine. I don't mind hanging out with the fellas, but when alcohol and outrageous prices are involved, I'd rather not put myself in the situation. Protein and healthy food isn't cheap man.

Anyone else ever encounter this dilemma? i can easily turn my cheek and not give a s*** but I'm wondering how anyone else handles this situation.

[broad.stance]

There's a difference between friends and drinking buddies.

Chances are the opinion of your drinking buddies isn't going to influence your decision to pursue bodybuilding. So don't give them a second thought. Your friends will be the ones who are happy to see you on the odd occasion you do go out with them - and they'll take the time to discover other ways to socialize with you.

Best of luck reaching your goals.

[jshpark]

Honestly, I'd do what is best for you man. You are 24 now. If your friends don't understand where you are coming from, then they still need to grow up. Back in high school - early college, I used to have a group of friends where all we would do is smoke weed, different kinds of drugs, alcohol. It was too the point where I had so many problems outside of social life such as family/financial crisis/anxiety/bad health/**** grades that I just had to avoid those guys and fix myself. I just stopped answering the calls and avoided them. Now that I look back, I wish I didn't because they were like my brothers that I loved but I had a lot of anxiety built up from gettin unhealthy/fat and didn't wanna go out and do the same old **** basically achieving nothing. I was depressed. It totally sucked to avoid them and I don't have many friends anymore, but my life has totally turned around for the better, which it probably wouldn't have if I kept partying and being a dumbass.

I found weightlifting and training as a serious hobby of mine now and started pursuing my bachelors in Kinesiology. Started at community college and now at university in classes I enjoy and meeting new people. I have my own home gym, great job, in a physical shape that I couldn't even dream of achieving before, doing new things, sense of pride, belief in myself to reach my goals. Basically, a whole new world has opened up for me now that I have time to explore instead of getting drunk and losing brain cells.

Everyone's situations is different though and depending on how close your friends are, don't just ditch them like I did. But if they don't understand where you are coming from, especially at the age, then they still need to grow up. Just be honest and tell them you want to hang out, but you're tired of spending all your money on getting ****faced. People change and move on all the time, sadly, it's just part of life. U get one life and there is no time to waste, so spend it doing what you want to, with people who actually care about you enough to think about your situation. If partying is what makes you happy though and is what you consider a fulfilling life, I would do that.

[Rick1824]

I've encountered this before...I think we all have to a certain extent.

Friend is a very broad term that everyone uses as if it is universal and applies to all aspects of friendship...but it doesn't. The spectrum of friendship is like a 1 to 10 scale...where 10 equals true friends, real friends, the ones who are there no matter what...all the way down to 1, those people who really aren't friends, unless they want something or being your friend benefits them somehow.

You just have to seriously look and see where you're friends fall on the scale. It does suck when you realize that people you thought were 10's turn out to be 2's...but that's life.

[pmpetrella]

I've encountered this before...I think we all have to a certain extent.

Friend is a very broad term that everyone uses as if it is universal and applies to all aspects of friendship...but it doesn't. The spectrum of friendship is like a 1 to 10 scale...where 10 equals true friends, real friends, the ones who are there no matter what...all the way down to 1, those people who really aren't friends, unless they want something or being your friend benefits them somehow.

You just have to seriously look and see where you're friends fall on the scale. It does suck when you realize that people you thought were 10's turn out to be 2's...but that's life.

So true its not even funny

[orlando_c]

I've encountered this before...I think we all have to a certain extent.

Friend is a very broad term that everyone uses as if it is universal and applies to all aspects of friendship...but it doesn't. The spectrum of friendship is like a 1 to 10 scale...where 10 equals true friends, real friends, the ones who are there no matter what...all the way down to 1, those people who really aren't friends, unless they want something or being your friend benefits them somehow.

You just have to seriously look and see where you're friends fall on the scale. It does suck when you realize that people you thought were 10's turn out to be 2's...but that's life.

Hey thanks for the perspective man and everyone. I like to see things through other peoples eyes. I'll just keep doing my thing and pumping along. Real friends will still be around.

[Leonida5]

I've encountered this before...I think we all have to a certain extent.

Friend is a very broad term that everyone uses as if it is universal and applies to all aspects of friendship...but it doesn't. The spectrum of friendship is like a 1 to 10 scale...where 10 equals true friends, real friends, the ones who are there no matter what...all the way down to 1, those people who really aren't friends, unless they want something or being your friend benefits them somehow.

You just have to seriously look and see where you're friends fall on the scale. It does suck when you realize that people you thought were 10's turn out to be 2's...but that's life.

It's very true... As you grow older you realize who your true friends are. In life/bodybuilding you have to learn to have a certain level of self motivation to overcome situations like these. Friends are people that add to "you" and what you stand for and believe in. People that take away from "you" are standing in the way of your progress and success.

Especially when it involves alcohol and drugs... I used to suffer from an alcohol problem and had plenty of "drinking buddies"... When I finally decided to change my life, I had to cut a lot of those people out of my life. I'll still pound some beers when I feel like it from time to time. I don't drink with "drinking buddies" anymore, now I drink with my true friends

[endoboy]

There's a difference between friends and drinking buddies.

It took me years to realise this! Well put.

[JOSEF RAKICH]

You can still have a night out, you dont have to drink.

Take some ecstacy or something instead, works out cheaper anyway plus you will end up having a better time than your drunk buddies and wont effect your gains as much. Not to mention no hangover.

[RayLewisDK]

Don't let your friends get you down. But really, you have to take a stand. You shouldn't have to put up with anything, just because they need to feel better about themselves.

So.

1) Take a stand and let them know you're not okay with what they're doing.
2) If they persist, find some new friends.

[TheProgressiveOne]

Good thread man...really relevant..im bout to post a similar thread..you will have to check it out..

Posters above are right..real friends stick around no matter what and understand...other people are only ur friends if u drink..

ask urself..how often do u hear from ur "drinking friends" when it is something un alcohol related? For me, i seldom hear from them with situations that would be relevant for me. They never ring me up and ask me to play some xbox, they never ring and ask if i wanna head to the movies..they only ring up involving alcohol

Consequently i am not friends with them anymore..now that i think about it..never was.

[Parajoe]

I have many acquaintances, and a few friends. There is a big difference. I think you are finding this out, and sometimes it sucks.

[BadWog]

My friends used to always try to get me to drink, but I just don't dig it anymore. Even when I'm not taking my training and diet seriously (gasp!), I still choose not to drink. We used to drink so much in high school that by the time I hit 18 at the end of year 12 I was over it.

My friends will occasionally still try and get me to drink, and on very rare occasions it works (my best mates 21st for example), but they understand that I don't like to drink and are still happy to go out clubbing or kick back at home with me. But instead of drinking beer or vodka with them, I'll drink Coke Zero or Sugarfree Red Bull.

This one time at my mates beach house last summer they were playing a drinking game called King's Cup. I was the only one not playing because I wasn't drinking, but they ended up getting me to play, but instead of chugging alcohol I chugged Coke Zero when I had to drink. :P

Hopefully your mates will be as understanding as mine and won't mind you doing this too.