Edited to say that I just saw your post above so some of what I say below doesn't apply. Well it sounds like she's game to get physical so I would definitely be touchy with her right from the beginning. I've been there before where you feel like the girl's going to quickly find out that you don't know what you're doing and that's anxiety producing. I think it can be best to get that out in the open somewhat... so maybe in as confident a way as you can manage, if things start to get physical, you could whisper in her ear that it's "been a long time" for you and you want her to guide you. If you can smile and be somewhat seductive about it, it could lead to a sort of roll-playing type thing where she talks you through it and that should really put you at ease. If you guys are cuddling later, you could open up in a little more detail.
again, some of what follows was written before your last post:
Do you know for sure yet if she plans to do more than just stop by and say hello and get a quick tour? And what time she's stopping by? If you don't know her plans, you could say "i'll order us a pizza if you want to hang out for a while" and see how she responds. Because it could be awkward if she's just planning to stop by quickly and you have snacks laid out like you were expecting her to stay.
If she does stay, my advice would be to be wary of the advice above about going in for the kill right when the movie starts. There's a small chance that if you two really hit it off and get drunk on top of that that things may go down later in the night... but if you try to force it, especially since you're inexperienced, chances are it won't end well.
If you guys have fun together you'll hang out again and if it doesn't work with her maybe she'll at least invite you out sometime and you can meet her friends. And you have to work with this girl. So what I'm saying is: take the long view and don't feel like this is your one shot.
I would also advise you to stop thinking of yourself as socially-awkward. It's great you made the initial diagnosis and are now making positive changes but if you continue to think of yourself that way it will be self-fulfilling. It sounds dorky but say to yourself several times a day that you are a smart, interesting person that people like. (Look up "affirmations" for more information about how to do this.) Plenty of people are late bloomers socially. Just as often as not the people who are nerdy and socially-awkward during their school years end up surpassing the popular kids so don't assign yourself a permanent label.
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Results 31 to 60 of 197
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10-09-2012, 09:31 PM #31Registered User
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Last edited by bruceprice; 10-09-2012 at 09:40 PM.
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10-09-2012, 09:33 PM #32Registered User
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Yup, this is gold.Originally Posted by Brink007
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10-09-2012, 09:37 PM #33
warning. usually when people decide to change their life for the better.. they do good for 2-3 months then they hit a setback and they fall back in their old routines.
dont be that guy
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10-09-2012, 09:48 PM #34
Best of luck, OP. I've been reading a lot of scary stories about women on this forum, most of which involve them playing stupid mind games with you. Don't let your guard down. Don't go the full white knight route either, for some unexplainable reason being nice and caring turns these creatures away from us. And be careful with the ever-growing epidemic called "friendzone", somehow you gotta give her a hint quickly that you are not there to be her gay best friend or else it may be too late tomorrow.
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10-09-2012, 09:51 PM #35Banned
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I wish you good luck op. im 8 years from being u and hopefully i can turn it around before then (no offense).
but 1 thing is clear. if you mess up.. shes at your work... so itl be 10x as awkward .
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10-09-2012, 10:04 PM #36Registered User
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Thanks again for all the advice guys and I'm taking it all in, but one thing... I DO need to at least tell her I'm a virgin right? I mean it would be even more awkward if I'm fumbling around like I don't know what I'm doing and she thinks I'm actually experienced, that would make me look even stupider. Maybe if she knows I'm a virgin she'd be understanding and work with me. Correct?
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10-09-2012, 10:05 PM #37Yankees for life.
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Stop worrying about being socially awkward. She's just another human being. Avoid trying to be perfect for her or putting her on a pedestal. She's not perfect either. There are a lot of good suggestions in here. I wouldn't be too focused on smashing her the first night you guys hang out lol. Just welcome her in and whatnot, show her around like others said. Ask her if she wants to hang out for a while and you can order some food. Use that as an opportunity to find out what kind she likes. Could be useful in the future. Ask her if she feels like dinner and a movie on the house. It's really not that complicated. I was a late bloomer as well so I know how you feel. Just try to relax and don't overthink stuff. Sure, she's good-looking and desirable. But she's not any better than you. Just from reading your posts you seem like an intelligent guy and being smart/intelligent is a big help in keeping conversation going. I feel like one of the best ways to talk to women is to get them to talk about themselves, they will never shut the phuck up about what they want and like and do. Plus it makes it seem like you're interested in them as a person and not just a piece.
Another thing. Even if it does escalate to become more physical, just go with the flow. Honestly a lot of girls find inexperienced guys to be "cute" i guess you could say and see it as an opportunity to take control, and they like the opportunity to teach you stuff. Depends on their personality of course.*NY Yankees Crew*
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10-09-2012, 10:06 PM #38Registered User
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NO. Tell her it's been a whileOriginally Posted by rippedgamer82
max bench 325X1 315 Video ( http://www.youtube.com/user/jbrink2007?feature=chclk#p/u/0/kKFFPplNQ4c )
max squat 380X1
max deadlift 465X1
DL 420 vid from a long time ago ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZkRDZPBm4w )
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10-09-2012, 10:07 PM #39Only Eyesthetics Matter
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Sage wisdom. I have nothing to add other than be sure to print this out and hide it under a pillow. That way if at any point you get lost you can nonchalantly pull it out and refer to the next step and continue through the process. However, try not to do this to often or she may become suspicious.Originally Posted by Brink007
But seriously, don't worry, you got this brah!
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10-09-2012, 10:08 PM #40Yankees for life.
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Don't worry about the virgin thing lol. If you guys end up about to bang just be straight about it. I guarantee she's not going to be pissed and it's not going to stop her from wanting to bang. Like I said above, some girls like it. Depends on the girl. "This might sound weird but...I've never done this before." Easier said in your mind than said IRL but honestly, it's not going to ruin the night. I promise.
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10-09-2012, 10:09 PM #41Yankees for life.
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Originally Posted by Brink007
No reason to lie about it. I honestly don't see the big deal.*NY Yankees Crew*
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10-09-2012, 10:12 PM #42Registered User
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Dude.. I've been with a lot of girls and from my experience girls don't just ask that to someone they barely know... The fact she actually said she wanted to come over and wasn't creeped out by the idea means you are pretty much golden no matter what.
max bench 325X1 315 Video ( http://www.youtube.com/user/jbrink2007?feature=chclk#p/u/0/kKFFPplNQ4c )
max squat 380X1
max deadlift 465X1
DL 420 vid from a long time ago ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZkRDZPBm4w )
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10-09-2012, 10:14 PM #43Registered User
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she wanted to come over after barely knowing the guy. She's not some church girl that will appreciate him being a virgin. You can tell her but I think it's risky unless it just feels perfect to sayOriginally Posted by 89FoxBody
max bench 325X1 315 Video ( http://www.youtube.com/user/jbrink2007?feature=chclk#p/u/0/kKFFPplNQ4c )
max squat 380X1
max deadlift 465X1
DL 420 vid from a long time ago ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZkRDZPBm4w )
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10-09-2012, 10:16 PM #44im 12
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lol
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10-09-2012, 10:19 PM #45Yankees for life.
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I didn't mean it in that sort of religious/purity context or whatever. I just think that if she showed enough interest in him to basically invite herself and her wine bottle over and she's flirtatious with him at work with the touching and what not, his inexperience is not going to be an issue.Originally Posted by Brink007
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10-09-2012, 10:21 PM #46I do not lift at all
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Backing you up on this one.Originally Posted by Brink007
Plus "Its been a while." Isn't really a lie, its just been since never.
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10-09-2012, 10:23 PM #47Registered User
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Now people are getting it!Originally Posted by Rhythm_of_Life
max bench 325X1 315 Video ( http://www.youtube.com/user/jbrink2007?feature=chclk#p/u/0/kKFFPplNQ4c )
max squat 380X1
max deadlift 465X1
DL 420 vid from a long time ago ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZkRDZPBm4w )
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10-09-2012, 10:25 PM #48Misc Island
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30 year old virgin.
First, go to a brothel a few times so you realize its not all its cracked up to be and there really is no pressure or anything to worry about. Once you get laid all this will be much easier + you will have more confidence were it really counts with women and that's in the bedroom.
You have no time to fuk around anymore, you need to skip the chit and get it done so you can progress.
Inb4 religious
Inb4 looking for the one
Inb4 dont use women for sex
Inb4 any white knight comment
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10-09-2012, 10:26 PM #49Registered User
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This thread has gotten out of whack ...
Take her bottle ... Find some drinking games to play with two people. Drink .. Touch flirt with her... Alch makes both horney .. Say let's watch a movie .. Put on a movie like weddin crashers that start with sex scene
Sit next to her ... hand on thigh or grab hand .... laugh at movie joke see how long she holds eye contact if she doesnt break eye contact make out with her... Then follow that jean eating pussy guys steps
Don't tell her ure a virgin... Fuk her and don't give a phuck wut she thinks ... Phuck some fruit if u got to get ure stroke down idk
Get this **** done and if **** don't go right who cares ... Learn from it like the rest of us had to .... I had no one to hold my had and my first was an experienced slut who I didn't tell I was a virgin... I just "acted" like I was confident and knew what i was doin
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10-09-2012, 10:31 PM #50Registered User
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What you just said was one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it.Originally Posted by KillerInstinct
max bench 325X1 315 Video ( http://www.youtube.com/user/jbrink2007?feature=chclk#p/u/0/kKFFPplNQ4c )
max squat 380X1
max deadlift 465X1
DL 420 vid from a long time ago ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZkRDZPBm4w )
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10-09-2012, 10:37 PM #51Registered User
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There steps dick fuk ... I dgaf wut u think ... Nice billy Madison knock off toolOriginally Posted by Brink007
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10-09-2012, 10:38 PM #52
She should be happy that you are a virgin. She gets a privilege to be your first, and also you have a much lesser chance to have any sexual transmitted diseases compared to the other "experienced" males.
If she's not happy with it, then she probably had 50 other dicks before you, and is not someone to be worth keeping that virginity for 30 years. Man up and tell her in a calm yet strong manner to gtfo.
Good luck! Post updates!
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10-09-2012, 10:41 PM #53Registered User
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Who talks like that? You can't be 23...Originally Posted by KillerInstinct
max bench 325X1 315 Video ( http://www.youtube.com/user/jbrink2007?feature=chclk#p/u/0/kKFFPplNQ4c )
max squat 380X1
max deadlift 465X1
DL 420 vid from a long time ago ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZkRDZPBm4w )
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10-09-2012, 10:44 PM #54Registered User
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Definitely a toolOriginally Posted by Brink007
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10-09-2012, 10:57 PM #55Registered User
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I agree that it depends on the girl- some will think it's cute and want to instruct you while others might lose interest. I don't think you have to flat-out say you're a virgin, I think you can hint at by saying it's been a long time, or you're not very experienced, or you want her to lead you. I'd say be semi-honest but don't apologize for yourself. Act confident when you say it.
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10-09-2012, 11:58 PM #56Registered User
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no **** that, do not tell her that your virgin... literally man, first time I ****ed I was golden, act confident, it's easy as hell, when I lost my card I was in the back of my car at age 16, with my girlfriend (who never knew I was a virgin either) and she lost her's a year before, let it be known, I was a champ, she basically wanted to **** everyday after and I gave her what she wanted haha, she still... to this day never knew she was my first hahahOriginally Posted by bruceprice
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10-10-2012, 12:03 AM #57Registered User
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no cliffs? Did not read
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10-10-2012, 12:59 AM #58Registered User
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I'm female - do not tell her you're a virgin. Just go for it - she will probably be thinking in her head "this guy is a bit awkward/not great at this", and if worse comes to worse, she will bail on you. But if you tell her flat out when ya'll start getting down to it, "Hey I'm a 30yo virgin", she will bail almost guaranteed. You might as well take the risk of her putting up with your clumsy ass and not say anything.
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10-10-2012, 01:11 AM #59Registered User
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Ok, so I hope you got the not telling her you're a virgin memo. How old is she op? Also, it's lower than you think it is.
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10-10-2012, 01:23 AM #60Noob
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You don't drink? Now is a good time to start. Alcohol will calm your nerves, make you lose the inhibition that's going to stop you from making a move and besides its rude to make a lady drink on her own. (srs)Originally Posted by rippedgamer82
Don't drink more than two glasses of wine (your tolerance will be super low), sip yours but keep topping up her drink.
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