Matches have pretty much died ³

**sloppyjoe1** · 02-01-2022, 11:02 AM

Anybody ever been with a person where religion is an issue? Love this girl to death and vice versa, but she was raised super christian and she struggles with me. I'm spiritual just not religious(was raised catholic but stopped when I became a teenager and could think for myself). I don't support religion but I don't mind if she is as long as she isnt crazy, puts people down, etc. The problem is that with christians they require YOU to get on board with them because if I'm not "equally yoked" then the bible says it will be a life long struggle to be with that person and if they aren't believers they will go to hell. It's really tough because if I didn't love her so much I'd tell her to kick rocks but literally everything else is so amazing between us. Just sucks that one thing puts a thorn in it all.

**stevesteve12** · 02-01-2022, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1

Anybody ever been with a person where religion is an issue? Love this girl to death and vice versa, but she was raised super christian and she struggles with me. I'm spiritual just not religious(was raised catholic but stopped when I became a teenager and could think for myself). I don't support religion but I don't mind if she is as long as she isnt crazy, puts people down, etc. The problem is that with christians they require YOU to get on board with them because if I'm not "equally yoked" then the bible says it will be a life long struggle to be with that person and if they aren't believers they will go to hell. It's really tough because if I didn't love her so much I'd tell her to kick rocks but literally everything else is so amazing between us. Just sucks that one thing puts a thorn in it all.

everything you wrote here suggests that the problem in this relationship resides solely with you, and specifically within your head. it's pretty ironic

**skinnyfat88** · 02-01-2022, 03:18 PM

Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1

Anybody ever been with a person where religion is an issue? Love this girl to death and vice versa, but she was raised super christian and she struggles with me. I'm spiritual just not religious(was raised catholic but stopped when I became a teenager and could think for myself). I don't support religion but I don't mind if she is as long as she isnt crazy, puts people down, etc. The problem is that with christians they require YOU to get on board with them because if I'm not "equally yoked" then the bible says it will be a life long struggle to be with that person and if they aren't believers they will go to hell. It's really tough because if I didn't love her so much I'd tell her to kick rocks but literally everything else is so amazing between us. Just sucks that one thing puts a thorn in it all.

Is she trying to convert you or something?

If she knows you will never change your beliefs she should take it or leave it.

**Ninshark** · 02-01-2022, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by stevesteve12

everything you wrote here suggests that the problem in this relationship resides solely with you, and specifically within your head. it's pretty ironic

I don't see it that way at all. He loves her, but [he implies that] she uses his agnosticism against him and he's growing tired of it. It doesn't appear as if he's trying to mess with her piety, but she might be trying to mess with his lack of. Sloppyjoe1 should just lay it all out and set the boundaries. Religion literally has nothing to do with the relationship, and it sucks they have to deal with that. It's just like politics. Has nothing to do with relationships, but always tears people apart because one of them can't handle the other.

**iloveus** · 02-01-2022, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss

I need a friendship.

Not to mention I don't have the energy to drive to see a guy regularly after working out.

**dolvioblue** · 02-02-2022, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1

Anybody ever been with a person where religion is an issue? Love this girl to death and vice versa, but she was raised super christian and she struggles with me. I'm spiritual just not religious(was raised catholic but stopped when I became a teenager and could think for myself). I don't support religion but I don't mind if she is as long as she isnt crazy, puts people down, etc. The problem is that with christians they require YOU to get on board with them because if I'm not "equally yoked" then the bible says it will be a life long struggle to be with that person and if they aren't believers they will go to hell. It's really tough because if I didn't love her so much I'd tell her to kick rocks but literally everything else is so amazing between us. Just sucks that one thing puts a thorn in it all.

Religion to some is intertwined into their soul. It’s who they are at the core. This will never change. If you don’t get on board there is no point to this. As much as that hurts it’s true.

**skinnyfat88** · 02-02-2022, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by antman12

What's up with all these basic girls and their obsession with "traveling"? You went to a third world beach a couple times and took pictures in a bikini..cool? Am I off base here?

I get that women could hypothetically sloot it up while traveling with little trace of their escapades but personally I find I jive better with women who have the desire to travel and et al as opposed to homebodies/introverts who are just waiting for a decent man to come along and enrich and instantly become the focal point of their life (not saying all homebodies/introverts are like this by any means just trying to paint a picture).

Now if the only thing their travels seem to revolve around is finding chads to party with then that's another story but I'd be hesitant to make judgements just because she enjoys seeing other parts of the world.

**DustinTheHuss** · 02-02-2022, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by iloveus

Well that’s what I like about the Misc is that I have male friends I communicate with almost daily who don’t ask me for nude pics like dating app guys do. I don’t like the trolls who harass me though.

I drink too much caffeine for someone with anxiety and they give me more psych meds to get off of ****** as the DEA is clamping down on controlled substances, but the psych meds make ne sleepy. I guess the only way that would work is if I went over to the guy’s house after working out and all we do is watch Netflix.

I haven’t gotten past a second date with a guy my age in my area though in years. so that’s my first step lol. I usually see my younger guy FWB on the weekends.

**microsuede** · 02-03-2022, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by imbored21

Matched with my coworker on Hinge on accident and feel really embrassed and scared to go to work tomorrow. I just said "that's awkward" and she didn't respond. ...

Happended to me before and it sucked because neither of us know we worked at the same company until we met up at the bar. Then the next day at work of course she told people and they told people, etc, etc. If she was hot it wouldnt be that big of a deal, but she wasnt.

**microsuede** · 02-03-2022, 09:23 AM

I'm tired of killing my game with girls on these apps. Considering getting a dating coach. The amount of women I match with on apps has gone up, but 9 time out of 10 I mess it up during my interaction on the app.

**Voidgaze** · 02-03-2022, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by microsuede

I'm tired of killing my game with girls on these apps. Considering getting a dating coach. The amount of women I match with on apps has gone up, but 9 time out of 10 I mess it up during my interaction on the app.

How do you think you've been messing it up?

**microsuede** · 02-03-2022, 02:53 PM

Originally Posted by Voidgaze

How do you think you've been messing it up?

boring text conversation, but maybe im not messing up and just putting effort into conversations with women on apps that have no intention of meeting up.

also i dont live in a big city, i live in a suburban city with no real downtown, so trying the optimal thing of meeting at a bar close to my house is not really possible. this leads to me going to where the woman is to meet up for a drink, normally a 30 minute plus drive away, then i end up feeling a bit out of my element and not escalating during the date like i used to.

when i used to live in a big city, i would meet girls at a bar that was under my apartment.

**DustinTheHuss** · 02-03-2022, 10:41 PM

Originally Posted by microsuede

boring text conversation, but maybe im not messing up and just putting effort into conversations with women on apps that have no intention of meeting up. .

Why do you have to meet in a bar? Are you trying to get a one-night stand?

Why not coffee first to see if there is chemistry if you're getting a lot of matches?

Or dinner for the women who think a guy is cheap if he just offers coffee or drinks first date. I have a lot of female friends who have said that guys are cheap when they do this.

**Luc1fer** · 02-03-2022, 10:48 PM

Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss

Or dinner for the women who think a guy is cheap if he just offers coffee or drinks first date. I have a lot of female friends who have said that guys are cheap when they do this.

Your friends are shallow and materialistic though. There’s no way I’m bringing a woman for dinner on a first date, women lost that privilege.

**DustinTheHuss** · 02-03-2022, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by Luc1fer

Your friends are shallow and materialistic though. There’s no way I’m bringing a woman for dinner on a first date, women lost that privilege.

True. That's what you get in this wealthy area. Women expect to be pampered and then they wonder why they are alone.

**antman12** · 02-04-2022, 05:19 AM

Originally Posted by Luc1fer

There’s no way I’m bringing a woman for dinner on a first date, women lost that privilege.

Quoted for the truth. Honestly, if its more than a 15 minute drive I usually suggest a FaceTime call which women have been very receptive too. Also allows both of us to assess compatibility. I've had a handful of FT calls that helped avoid what would've been awkward dates. Im sure she would've agreed too.

**Legz422** · 02-04-2022, 08:26 AM

Originally Posted by Luc1fer

Your friends are shallow and materialistic though. There’s no way I’m bringing a woman for dinner on a first date, women lost that privilege.

I tell guys this all the time. Don't do meals on a first meet. I always suggest meeting at a coffee shop or something free/very low cost outdoors.

**microsuede** · 02-04-2022, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss

Why do you have to meet in a bar? Are you trying to get a one-night stand?

Why not coffee first to see if there is chemistry if you're getting a lot of matches?

Or dinner for the women who think a guy is cheap if he just offers coffee or drinks first date. I have a lot of female friends who have said that guys are cheap when they do this.

Not trying to do 1 night stands, but I don't do day time dates and don't drink coffee at night. I thought having a drink for a first date is universally accepted as a way to see if there is chemistry. I'm not cheap and always pay.

The area I live in sucks. Think suburb that is stuck in the 80's/90's. Anyone I end up matching with that is not morbidly obese or doesn't have 2+ children is a 30 minute drive from me.

**Luc1fer** · 02-04-2022, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by Legz422

I tell guys this all the time. Don't do meals on a first meet. I always suggest meeting at a coffee shop or something free/very low cost outdoors.

Of course, DustinTheHuss friend's are clearly obnoxious gold diggers.

Dustin, one lesson I've learned over the years is judge a person by their friend group. They are almost always just like their friends.

Do you claim to not be like them? If no, do you actually like your friends?

**MarinoMike** · 02-04-2022, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by microsuede

I thought having a drink for a first date is universally accepted as a way to see if there is chemistry. I'm not cheap and always pay.

100% it is. The ones with real chemisty too, you keep bar hopping with until 2am downing shots every 20 minutes.

**DustinTheHuss** · 02-04-2022, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by Luc1fer

Of course, DustinTheHuss friend's are clearly obnoxious gold diggers.

Dustin, one lesson I've learned over the years is judge a person by their friend group. They are almost always just like their friends.

Do you claim to not be like them? If no, do you actually like your friends?

You can call me Dusty as I’m obviously female

No I think I’m an anomaly from my friend group as they tend to date wealthier, somewhat older men and my dating pool has been significantly younger men who don’t have much money.

What’s also interesting is that I’m the only one who has worked for more than a few years and has a career, yet I’m the one who struggles with anxiety and depression more then they do. Maybe it’s from the stress of a career.

I just don’t want to get with someone I’m not attracted to and they seem to value wealth more than attractiveness.

I guess both are shallow to be honest as my therapist says I should find someone who values my kindness, how I help others and animals and other traits vs. my size. Then I should look for the same in a partner once I’m divorced. I mean we all get old and lose our looks over 50.

**xbluexhawkx** · 02-04-2022, 01:30 PM

Agree that dinner dates are the worst

they feel like interviews and there's no way to escalate and what not

plus eating food in front of a stranger that you're trying to impress for the first time feels odd

a fun activity is best, and if everything goes well you can go get food afterwards

**DustinTheHuss** · 02-04-2022, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by xbluexhawkx

Agree that dinner dates are the worst

they feel like interviews and there's no way to escalate and what not

plus eating food in front of a stranger that you're trying to impress for the first time feels odd

a fun activity is best, and if everything goes well you can go get food afterwards

Yeah mini golf or something. I did a ceramic pottery first date that was fun. Or go get frozen yogurt or a go on a walk or hike.

**xbluexhawkx** · 02-04-2022, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss

Yeah mini golf or something. I did a ceramic pottery first date that was fun. Or go get frozen yogurt or a go on a walk or hike.

mini golf is the best first date there is, ded fkn srs

**fishnbrah** · 02-05-2022, 07:12 AM