Avoided marriage but lost the love of my life - did I dun goof or dodge a bullet?

[brothoven]

stop it former age 47 troll

Oh, geez. Now now sunshine, I adjusted my birthday just for you

[brothoven]

It’s weird how a girl can be so crazy over you but the moment you act beta after the relationship ends dude like others have said, all respect for you is gone and she’s done. Not attracted to you anymore. Doesn’t matter how much she “loved” you, something about exposing your weak side to women completely shuts them off. Don’t ever need a girl or let her know you need her.

Well to be fair, I only got beta in the end when she was already leaving me. Other than that, I was the dominant one and she was submissive. I was her king.

[ItzcoolBrah]

its the time old quote, you dont know what you have until its gone,

im gonna be honest , you fukd up, and the fact that you proposed once it was too late....

you made a huge mistake, once you accept that, maybe you can move on from it. people here telling you that you dodged a bullet... sounds like she dodged one from you dude, if she had all those qualities there was no reason not to marry her, goodluck man

you can say the russian is a cuck but seems like he was the one happy in the end.

theres reasons to marry someone, same as there is to not marry, take both sides and then decide not just flat out say no

[sanblz33]

Lol, female game. She's got no female game. Well, not when it comes to sex. When it comes to all the other worst of female attributes, absolutely. If you want to objectively analyze her in any other way, I'd love to hear it. But she's not banging dudes, bro. That's not her. She wouldn't even bang me by the end. She closed off her heart and her legs at the same time.

Right now, I don't want any other women. I did some online dating while she was gone, saw about 4-5 other women briefly. Total waste of time and money. Not looking to get laid, and all I did was think about her. I messed around a little but I didn't find much joy in it. I felt like I was cheating on her. Now that I'm dead inside, it'll be even worse.

What do you mean she was not serious about marriage?

I am guessing that you have not been exposed to many females or you don't have many female friends? This is female game 101. lol.

If she really was serious about marriage & kids (I think you mentioned this previously) and decided to act on it she would do what most most women would do & put themselves in the position to get pregnant before marriage. I'm being dead serious about this. A lot of smart brahs & even good female friends will tell you this. You are took the lines she used on you too literally (without analyzing what she is doing) so you are in shock when she decided to shut you out. I am guessing she used lines and phrases to stimulate the innate male primal urges for domination and affection?

The cure for this is just to get out more and start exposing yourself to more people so you can figure out what you want (bars, hobbies, social groups, etc: it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual). I'm getting the vibe that you are still trying to figure yourself out.

[brothoven]

Girls take fear of commitment (marriage / kids) as a weak sign too

He didn’t demonstrate love
He let her leave the country
He encouraged her to date in the hopes she’d come back

Dammit Bugs, you keep twisting it

I did demonstrate love. She knew I loved her. Love ≠ marriage

Again, I couldn't exactly stop her. I definitely could've argued more, but I had already been selfish enough and I didn't want to force her to abandon her dreams. We were pretty broken at that point, so I think she would've left even if I put my foot down. Not sure tho. Will never know for sure.

For the last time, I did not encourage her to date. She said she needed to do it, and I relented. It was her plan, and after some mild objection, I agreed with it. I definitely could've raised a lot more stink, but she was about to leave the country... I only had so much power over her at that point. I was her first and only boyfriend, so I did understand how she felt.... or how she thought she felt. I just thought she needed some space, and so did she.
Maybe it was a test, and I failed? We also talked quite a bit about preserving the friendship at all costs... a fat lot of good that did.

[brothoven]

come on misc stop being so trusting, he is the former age 47 troll

Am I supposed to know who that is? 48 is the default age when you register, Einstein

[brothoven]

also very valid points

They are actually not valid brah, because neither one is true

[sanblz33]

Girls take fear of commitment (marriage / kids) as a weak sign too

He didn’t demonstrate love
He let her leave the country
He encouraged her to date in the hopes she’d come back

You know women have free will also

[wincel]

>She's not a whore
>She wouldn't have cheated

Damn bro, you just helped convince me I dun goofed

She went abroad, and replaced you instantly. You're deluded.

So I had an amazing relationship with a girl, and for three years it was perfect. The honeymoon phase went on for years. She was completely dedicated to me. The only problem was that she wanted to get married and have kids, and I didn't. I mentioned my feelings a few times, but we usually didn't talk about it and just enjoyed each other's company. We never fought and almost never argued.

Things started to sour in the fourth year, and she became more and more distant. Yet she rarely talked about her feelings. I couldn't seem to fix things. Then, after she graduated from college, she decided to study abroad for a year and get her Masters. I was very surprised by her decision. Due to the circumstances, we decided to go on a break, create a little space, casually date other people, and then get back together when she returned. You can see where this is going. Well, instead she met some Russian cuck that worshiped the ground she walked on. He was ready to marry her on day one. In fact, he was already divorced and had 2 kids back in Russia. She casually dated him for a year, delaying her return to the US because she had a teaching job there and she was busy applying to grad schools for her PhD. She always insisted that her relationship with this guy wasn't serious, and she was still affectionate to me.

To make a long story short, she finally came home for Christmas after 1.5 years of being my lovey-dovey best friend. But then, out of the blue, she refused to talk to me or see me. Finally allowed me one phone call and said it was over, she was marrying the Russian guy, and we were done. She insisted the decision was final, and she couldn't talk to me anymore. Completely blindsided me. Afterwards, I told her I needed to talk about things more, but she ignored all my calls and messages.

So I ended up losing the love of my life. Once the initial shock settled and the crippling realization set in, I freaked out and tried to propose. I told her she meant everything to me, that we could get married and work out all our problems. And I meant it. But that only seemed to make her angrier and she has blocked me on all social media since.

In the end, I am absolutely devastated, and losing her made me realize how much I truly did love her. It is the biggest kick in the balls one can imagine. I am completely filled with regret. I feel like I let "The One" get away. Yet I didn't actually want to marry and have kids. I was willing to make the sacrifice in the end, but I still felt unsure about signing my life away to fatherhood. On the other hand, given the choice of losing her forever or compromising, I was more than willing to compromise. But sadly, it was too little, too late.

So Misc, did I dun goof, or did I dodge a bullet in the end?

CLIFFS

-Dated girlfriend for 4 years
-She wanted to marry and have kids, I didn't
-She went to study abroad for one year
-We went on break but planned to get back together
-She met somebody else, casually dated, said it wouldn't last
-She came home for Xmas, I expected to see her
-Without warning, she tore my heart out and set it on fire

Can't post pics, please don't neg a bro when he's down. Thanks bruhs

LMFAO read that. Process it, and tell me she isn't a whore.

[GuineaDago585]

Sloots gonna sloot. You dodged a bullet brah. Mine cheated on me too and it hurts. I don't understand why women can't control themselves. I've been tempted but would never cheat and never even came close. I tried giving my girl chances like you were considering. It's for the best that it's over man. She would just keep doing the same chit.

[drvillain]

They are actually not valid brah, because neither one is true

lol you gotta explain then. Your post didn't say that you objected to anything. Unless i glanced over that

[StrongLurking]

Well to be fair, I only got beta in the end when she was already leaving me. Other than that, I was the dominant one and she was submissive. I was her king.

yeah that’s what I’m saying though. A relationship can end for any reason but I don’t think it’s salvageable once you’ve acted beta and begged for her back.

[brothoven]

You know women have free will also

Precisely. Good man.

I couldn't exactly handcuff her to my bedpost.

Well maybe I could have, but then I wouldn't be sitting here on the grandest message board in the world, posting with you fine people

[wincel]

Of course women have free will and she exercised hers eventually

But love isn’t about free will itrs about needing to be together and belonging and sometimes, in the earlier stages, it’s about proving that you’d put what you have above other aspects of your life, or other challenges

Opie ...I’m twisting nothing ...tell a traditional religious girl no marriage or kids what you expect?

You had the unicorn ...till you stabbed it in the heart

She wasn't a unicorn at all. She clearly never really loved him. Look at how quickly she replaced him. She is also a disgusting whore because while in the process of replacing him, she kept him as a backup and kept telling him there was nothing serious between her and Ruscuck. Then, after a few years, she's like "LOL I'm marrying him!" = "LOL I've been fuking him this entire time, and playing you." FKING LOL...

[wincel]

Intelligent, virgin, traditional values, cooked, took care of him for 3 years

C’n i what now ?

Supposedly loved him. Went to study abroad and replaced him instantly with this new guy. Insisted there was no relationship and was probably fking him the entire time. Is literally marrying new guy.

C'n i what now ?

If you love someone, you don't get over them that quickly. I can tell you how it actually went down. She never really loved him, but she was willing to settle. She gave him an ultimatum. He backed down. She slooted elsewhere, and found a provider. She feels nothing because all he was to her was a replaceable commodity. Most sloots are phucking disgusting the way they "people shop" and treat people like fuking toys. They are the first to whine about objectification while they are the greatest offenders, reducing a human being to his job, height, social status, wealth, and aesthetics.

[WhySoSrsBoyo]

Okay so this thread is about a 32 year old dumb ass with a small dink and special needs who needs grief counseling?

[brothoven]

lol you gotta explain then. Your post didn't say that you objected to anything. Unless i glanced over that

I've elaborated a few times, including just above. Her first college choice was here in the area, but she didn't get in. The second choice was abroad and gave her a full ride. I didn't like the idea, and she knew that. But it was a great program and she had always wanted to go there (even before she met me). I decided to not be selfish and try to stop her from going. But just simply saying l let her go is misleading. We talked and she talked with her family and her advisers and then she made the choice that was best for her, career-wise and financially. Since we were going to get back together when she returned, I was OK with it.

As I said above, I did not encourage her to date. She said she needed to do it, and her mom was feeding this stuff into her ear. I eventually relented. I definitely could've raised a lot more stink, but she was about to leave the country... I only had so much power over her at that point. I was her first and only boyfriend, so I did understand how she felt.... or how she thought she felt. Trying to control her at that point may have done more harm than good.

[wincel]

Lack of commitment not linking to personal life goals
Makes sense not to waste a fourth year on someone in his 30s who doesn’t want what you do
So In 18 months of being single abroad, she’s met and committed to someone new and broken all contact

Strong decisions..would buy a drink for

That makes sense if you don't love someone. That is way too fast to get over someone you were with for 3 years and truly loved.

[brothoven]

yeah that’s what I’m saying though. A relationship can end for any reason but I don’t think it’s salvageable once you’ve acted beta and begged for her back.

You might be right man. I thought it was my last chance, so I threw it all out there, but my beta desperation at the end might have ended up being the final nail in the coffin.

[drvillain]

She said she needed to do it,

ok yeah, this "love" you think you were in didn't exist. She couldn't even last a year without NEEDING to see other people.

you probably didn't notice the slow burn in this relationship a while back

[brothoven]

its the time old quote, you dont know what you have until its gone,

im gonna be honest , you fukd up, and the fact that you proposed once it was too late....

you made a huge mistake, once you accept that, maybe you can move on from it. people here telling you that you dodged a bullet... sounds like she dodged one from you dude, if she had all those qualities there was no reason not to marry her, goodluck man

you can say the russian is a cuck but seems like he was the one happy in the end.

theres reasons to marry someone, same as there is to not marry, take both sides and then decide not just flat out say no

I agree with everything you wrote.

I fukked up, big time

This one is going to hurt till the grave

[wincel]

I've elaborated a few times, including just above. Her first college choice was here in the area, but she didn't get in. The second choice was abroad and gave her a full ride. I didn't like the idea, and she knew that. But it was a great program and she had always wanted to go there (even before she met me). I decided to not be selfish and try to stop her from going. But just simply saying l let her go is misleading. We talked and she talked with her family and her advisers and then she made the choice that was best for her, career-wise and financially. Since we were going to get back together when she returned, I was OK with it.

As I said above, I did not encourage her to date. She said she needed to do it, and her mom was feeding this stuff into her ear. I eventually relented. I definitely could've raised a lot more stink, but she was about to leave the country... I only had so much power over her at that point. I was her first and only boyfriend, so I did understand how she felt.... or how she thought she felt. Trying to control her at that point may have done more harm than good.

AKA she needed dick. She is making chit up about her mom, and trying to deflect blame. You're making excuses for her. She's a disgusting whore who used you and replaced you like a bloody tampon. You were nothing to her. She never really loved you. That's why she essentially fired you the way someone would fire a wagecuck slave. You meant nothing. This is your chance to see the truth -- that this kunt wasn't worth your time, and that you are better than this bro. Don't dwell on the behavior of whores. MISC 101: SLOOT GONNA SLOOT. It is NOT your fault, and do NOT second guess yourself. Maybe you should have insisted she stay, but I bet she would have cucked you with someone else soon enough. You need to wake up and smell the vaginal secretions boyo. This kunt never loved you. You deserve to find someone who does. Forget everything these wks and bitches tell you on here. Empower yourself. Lift, and live for a better tomorrow, one without this type of kunt. You love her. I get it...but clearly she doesn't love you man because if she did, she wouldn't marry some russia cuck ******* within a year of meeting him. He is gonna be going balls deep and busting raw in your little pussy pedestal princess. Every night, she is going to scream "o da, yebat' menya" (о да, ебать меня) as he rails her so hard she can barely walk.

[JtotheIzzo]

Supposedly loved him. Went to study abroad and replaced him instantly with this new guy. Insisted there was no relationship and was probably fking him the entire time. Is literally marrying new guy.

C'n i what now ?

If you love someone, you don't get over them that quickly. I can tell you how it actually went down. She never really loved him, but she was willing to settle. She gave him an ultimatum. He backed down. She slooted elsewhere, and found a provider. She feels nothing because all he was to her was a replaceable commodity. Most sloots are phucking disgusting the way they "people shop" and treat people like fuking toys. They are the first to whine about objectification while they are the greatest offenders, reducing a human being to his job, height, social status, wealth, and aesthetics.

If you love someone how long does it take to get over someone?

[wincel]

If you love someone how long does it take to get over someone?

infatuation takes at least 6 months...real love between two people should take the death of one...or DRAMATIC changes, so like 3+years away from each other, and scales up more later in life.

[wincel]

ok yeah, this "love" you think you were in didn't exist. She couldn't even last a year without NEEDING to see other people.

you probably didn't notice the slow burn in this relationship a while back

This...

SLOOT GONNA SLOOT

I agree with everything you wrote.

I fukked up, big time

This one is going to hurt till the grave

You didn't phuck anything up. Stop being a disgusting beta wk cuck. Another dude is phucking your "love" as we speak. You phucking cuck. WAKE UP. Don't subjugate yourself like this. You're better than this. You are a man. These sloots want you to cry over them. They want to be valued. Unless they truly love you back, they are just walking cumtoilets. She used you bro. She played you, and you just can't accept it.

[brothoven]

Of course women have free will and she exercised hers eventually

But love isn’t about free will it’s about needing to be together and belonging and sometimes, in the earlier stages, it’s about proving that you’d put what you have above other aspects of your life, or other challenges

Opie ...I’m twisting nothing ...tell a traditional religious girl no marriage or kids what you expect?

You had the unicorn ...till you stabbed it in the heart

You are twisting some of the finer details... but in the end, you're right. It really is that simple. I thought the unicorn would always be happy in my world, playing by my rules. But instead, she was slowly bleeding to death and I never even noticed.

Well, imma about to give up now

Dammit buns, don't you give up on me too!

What about you? Are you married?

[Swood94]

Bro. Think about this for a second. She went to Russia and started dating another dude for a year and a half. Lets not be coy, she was obviously having sex with this dude for quite some time. If you did immediately take her back you would be a cuck. She wasn't the one for you bro, she's not the love of your life. Obviously you guys both felt very different about your futures.

[wincel]

You are twisting some of the finer details... but in the end, you're right. It really is that simple. I thought the unicorn would always be happy in my world, playing by my rules. But instead, she was slowly bleeding to death and I never even noticed.


Dammit buns, don't you give up on me too!

What about you? Are you married?

That unicorn was actually a phuckin' donkey.

[brothoven]

Sloots gonna sloot. You dodged a bullet brah. Mine cheated on me too and it hurts. I don't understand why women can't control themselves. I've been tempted but would never cheat and never even came close. I tried giving my girl chances like you were considering. It's for the best that it's over man. She would just keep doing the same chit.

Sorry for your loss, bro. Mine didn't exactly cheat on me, we were broken up but the expectation was that we would get back together. She had this casual little thing going on with this guy she respected but didn't love and then she somehow let it get serious without telling me. Then she stabbed me in the heart in the end.

That sucks though man, what happened when you found out? Did you give her a second chance?

[Rabbitjb]

You are twisting some of the finer details... but in the end, you're right. It really is that simple. I thought the unicorn would always be happy in my world, playing by my rules. But instead, she was slowly bleeding to death and I never even noticed.


Dammit buns, don't you give up on me too!

What about you? Are you married?

Yeah happily enchained