I have been with her for a year and have been nothing but good and polite to her. Always call her every morning to say good morning and call her every night and tell her good night. I have a pretty good job and I pay a lot of her bills, I take her to any place she wants to go. Anything she wants or needs, I get for her.
Well this past month has been sort of weird. I have brought up marriage on a couple of occasions and ask her how many kids does she want and she seems to shrug the questions off not really giving a definitive answer. I guess I can understand that if she's not ready, but these past couple of weeks, she has not been answering her phone on time and when she finally does answer, she says she was out with friends and her phones battery died. One time I went over to her apartment when she wasn't answering the phone. I stayed over there for about an hour until she called saying she was hanging out with her friend. I personally know her friend, so I called her up the next day and asked her if they were hanging up and she says they weren't.
Does this sound like she is cheating? I am by no means the best looking guy out there. I am average in looks and she is out of my league in looks. 8/10 in looks and I am lucky to have a girlfriend as hot as her, but I buy her everything and pay her bills have been nothing but good to her, so I do not understand why she would cheat on me or am I just being paranoid.
Insight please.
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01-04-2016, 10:30 AM #1
I think my girlfriend might be cheating on me. PLEASE HELP!
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01-04-2016, 10:54 AM #2
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01-04-2016, 11:05 AM #3
OP this girl has ABSOLUTELY 0 respect for you! Lying to you how she is out with friends and you confirm she wasn't with who she said she was (huge red flag.) You take her to any place she wants to go, pays some of her bills, call her every morning and every night? What challenge are you? She knows she has you and you are a pushover and will do whatever she says.
She is bored with the relationship and if she hasn't cheated yet (which she most likely has), I assure you she is monkey branching and it's just a matter of time. If a girl I tried to hit up told me she was "busy" and out with friends without telling me she will call me later or an alternative time to chat she isn't interested and I immediately go NC! No matter what a girl is doing, if she values you, she will want to talk to you when you call. That simple OP!
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01-04-2016, 11:11 AM #4
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01-04-2016, 11:19 AM #5
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01-04-2016, 11:20 AM #6
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01-04-2016, 11:21 AM #7
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01-04-2016, 11:22 AM #8
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01-04-2016, 11:37 AM #9
OP the problem is as you stated it's not a one time occurrence. This girl is showing SERIOUS signs of disinterest/lack of respect. I HIGHLY suggest going NC because it's a win win. It will salvage any slight interest she might have (but to be honest I think it's over and has been from her perspective.) If she cares about working it out she isn't going to let you just disappear off the face of the earth without reaching out to you but I am going to be honest OP. It's not looking good, going NC is going to your best bet.
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01-04-2016, 12:39 PM #10
It's not the first time, but what I'm not understanding is why would she cheat,(which I'm still doubtful she is) if I am paying her bills, buying her things and taking her places that she wants to go? I listen to her feelings and thorough conversations with her. What have I done wrong?????
This is my first relationship since graduating college and if most women are like this, I don't want any part of them.
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01-04-2016, 12:44 PM #11
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01-04-2016, 12:44 PM #12
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01-04-2016, 12:47 PM #13
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01-04-2016, 01:00 PM #14
OP I have told you where you went wrong. Look at FU3L post, it couldn't be more spot on! You are a doormat, she doesn't have respect or value you, no female would. She knows she can lie, not return your call and texts and you will still reward her with unacceptable behavior by continuing to take her out, pay her bills etc.
Second issue your insecurity. You say you are an "average" looking guy and she is "out of your league." This is a TERRIBLE mindset to have, I don't care how true it is or how hot the girl is. This mindset you are going to put up with unacceptable behavior yet still reward her (as I stated earlier as that's what you are doing) because she is "out of your league."
No girl is out of your league! Be confident in yourself and watch your body language/how you carry yourself and see the females you start to attract.
I don't mean to tell you something you don't want to hear but as other posters have said and I couldn't agree with them more, you are being used it's that simple! Your absolute best bet is to go NC here and as Goodcupcakes pointed out, watch as soon as you stop paying her bills/taking her out etc begging you to come back. But it's only because she doesn't have the "doormat" but as was pointed out, DON'T get back with her no matter what she says. She's using you.
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01-04-2016, 01:34 PM #15
Thanks for this post and taking the time to actually help instead of all of the other guys calling me a troll. I have been nothing but good to her, but I guess it's my fault for putting her on a pedestal. I thought girls loved when you treat them right. All I have done is treat her right the entire time I have been with her. What more could I have done? Like I said, I'm not entirely sure that she is cheating. I have not seen her with another guy, so I will feel kind of bad if I dump her and stop all contact without knowing for 100% that she is cheating. I just don't know. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Does that make sense?
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01-04-2016, 01:40 PM #16
treating her right is great but theres a fine line between treating a girl right and being a doormat, once you become a doormat they feel they have 100% hold on you and thats never good. since you cant really prove shes cheating yet, you can distance yourself and become colder. go NC for now until she texts you first, if she wants to hang out say you're really busy this week, or youre going out with the guys (if you dont have many friends say you're going out with people from work). also stop paying her bills. i know it will be hard to distance yourself but you have to at this point, it will work out in the end...whether its breaking up or gaining more control over the relationship it will only benefit you. i know you think you won the prize with her but theres plenty of good looking girls, and once you've had one im sure you can get more. her box doesn't play music OP
Last edited by missalexx; 01-04-2016 at 01:47 PM.
but where is female misc? pls tell me
*NC is the only way crew*
*positive crew*
*born without a thyroid*
*I survived 3/2/16*
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01-04-2016, 01:43 PM #17
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01-04-2016, 02:03 PM #18
OP I couldn't agree with this statement more and it's coming from a female perspective! There is a HUGE DIFFERENCE between treating a girl right and being a doormat. You were love struck and caught oneitis and as you can see how that's bad and the issues it causes. I would highly reread this advice from MissAlexx as it's dead on.
You have to distance yourself and whether she calls it off or gaining more control over the relationship it's not going to be easy as you pointed out, you have deep feelings for this girl but it's ONLY going to benefit you in the long run no matter what happens in this situation.
Always feel free to PM me or post on the thread's if you need someone, we got your back!
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01-04-2016, 03:20 PM #19
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01-04-2016, 04:16 PM #20
- Join Date: Feb 2009
- Location: Sacramento, California, United States
- Age: 31
- Posts: 9,391
- Rep Power: 13623
Was in similar situation as you but my chick wasn't 8/10 . you're literally just a door mat to her. I also paid bills ..dates...etc . Left me because she said I came on too strong . You were attractive to her at first. I'm sure you cared less and were more "alpha" and she knew she didn't have you wrapped around her finger so it made her chase you. And as soon as you started caring more and became more giving and affectionate her attitude changed right? sadly she's just using you. I was just like you trying to justify all her actions when everyone was telling me abort mission. But I didn't listen till I was humiliated. Stay safe bro
Love Jesus crew
Iraq/Assyrian crew
John 13:7 Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
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01-04-2016, 04:39 PM #21
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01-04-2016, 05:23 PM #22
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01-04-2016, 06:12 PM #23
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01-04-2016, 07:19 PM #24
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01-05-2016, 01:28 AM #25
Was in your shoes 6 years ago OP. Girl says she is hanging with a friend, gets caught in a lie not actually hanging out with said friend. Turned out she was on a date with an old co-worker.
Not trying to upset you any more brah, don't stress about it until you have definitive proof or else she will for sure cheat on you.
I'm not going to say she IS cheating because I don't know her, but based on the info given it seems like she is out testing the waters and possibly looking for a exit plan at the very least.
Based on previous experiences I would say the red flags are lining up OP, time to have a SERIOUS conversation with her about trust and where she sees your relationship going. Forget talking about how many kids and what color hair they will have. She needs to prove her loyalty before you allow any of your warriors charge the ovarian gate.
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01-06-2016, 12:05 PM #26
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01-06-2016, 12:24 PM #27
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01-06-2016, 12:30 PM #28
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01-06-2016, 12:42 PM #29
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01-06-2016, 01:12 PM #30
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