Post divorce Fitness

[DadBod630]

Hi all, looking for advice -- never thought I'd really post on a fitness forum because I wasn't really interested in being "ripped" or swole or anything like that.

Basically I'm a 37 year old dad. My daughter is 12 now, and I have custody of her (thank god) after divorcing my ex who left me for a 20 year old with a weed habit.
I'm not in the best shape but I figure now that I'm back in the dating game, and if I want to show my ex what's she's now missing out on, I need to get in really good shape. I want to get an even hotter wife and show that woman that she really, really, messed up, but for a woman she made a really typical choice.


I know only small amount about fitness. I want to know about calories, I want to know about carbs vs fats vs proteins, I want to cut back on the drinking so I can get rid of my gut, I wanna go the gym and make the other Gym rats jealous, basically I'm ready to show that woman how wrong she is. I'm not an emotionally absent manchild or a fat slob and she's gonna come crawling back to me.

So yes, bestow upon me your knowledge. I know a little about fitness and theres some stuff I could probably educate you guys on but I'll leave that for later.

[KINGFABIAN]

Step 1. Do it for yourself not for revenge or impress anyone. You will last much longer in the game.


Lots of people start lifting for girls or to impress. That motivation is short lived. Good luck , read read read and learn how your body works and what works for it to achieve results. Took me years to learn my body.

[Hooverville]

Do it for you man. Batches couldn't care less about abs or being swole.

[kimm4]

Getting into fitness to make your ex come crawling back and other gym rats jealous...this can't possibly be real life.

It boggles my mind to think that you're actually 37. Good luck with your "getting revenge goals of 2015."

[so-tex]

Hi all, looking for advice -- never thought I'd really post on a fitness forum because I wasn't really interested in being "ripped" or swole or anything like that.

Basically I'm a 37 year old dad. My daughter is 12 now, and I have custody of her (thank god) after divorcing my ex who left me for a 20 year old with a weed habit.
I'm not in the best shape but I figure now that I'm back in the dating game, and if I want to show my ex what's she's now missing out on, I need to get in really good shape. I want to get an even hotter wife and show that woman that she really, really, messed up, but for a woman she made a really typical choice.


I know only small amount about fitness. I want to know about calories, I want to know about carbs vs fats vs proteins, I want to cut back on the drinking so I can get rid of my gut, I wanna go the gym and make the other Gym rats jealous, basically I'm ready to show that woman how wrong she is. I'm not an emotionally absent manchild or a fat slob and she's gonna come crawling back to me.

So yes, bestow upon me your knowledge. I know a little about fitness and theres some stuff I could probably educate you guys on but I'll leave that for later.

I wanna be like you when I grow up.

[DSUP]

Son, get yourself some help right away. Your family needs you. Seriously. Put down the booze. Get rid of the video games. Pour every bit of yourself into raising that little girl. She's going to be a teenager soon and that's hard enough for anyone. It's going to be even harder for an only child of divorced parents that don't like each other. It's time to step up to your responsibilities and stop worrying about trying to one-up your daughter's mother and impress people that you don't know. You should always be able to look into that little girl's eyes when you kiss her goodnight and know that everything that you did that day was for her and the best that you could do.

I'm going to say that again a little louder: EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO SHOULD BE FOR HER and IT SHOULD BE THE BEST THAT YOU CAN DO.

Grow up, bro.

[ElrondHubbard]

I'm sure not doing it for my ex. I'm doing it for myself, and my REAL wife, the one I have now and should have had all along, appreciates it and encourages me. That's not why I do it, but it sure makes it easier.

I couldn't care less what my ex thinks about it.

First rule of fitness: Do it for you, and your daughter, and those you love. Don't do it for someone who doesn't deserve it.

[VonP77]

I fully agree with the OP.

You guys are absolutely insane.

Wanting to make other people jealous is the number one motivator in the world.

Nothing else comes close. Nothing.

Without this specific motivation, I bet 95%+ of all great achievements would never have happened.

None of us here are into bodybuilding for any other reason than: we want some people to be attracted to us, and we want some people to be jealous of us.

"I just want to feel good when I look in the mirror. This is for me."

B.S.! You've simply internalized the idea of wanting to appear attractive to others, and you're too out of touch with your own thoughts to even realize.

Rock on, OP. Don't listen to them. Let the revenge motivation burn, man.

[Flounderbout]

theres some stuff I could probably educate you guys on but I'll leave that for later.

Does this stuff include apostrophe use?



PS - Ha! This grammar pedantry will teach all my exes to leave me for less educated fools.

[Smelly bull]

Dad of the year candidate!

your daughter needs help....help leaving your sorry azz..

[MissHolly]

EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO SHOULD BE FOR HER and IT SHOULD BE THE BEST THAT YOU CAN DO.

Grow up, bro.

QFT! I want to rep you so hard right now, but I must spread some around.

THE REASON I no longer drink is because of my kids. This life is about THEM now. My mother put alcohol before me and my siblings. I refuse to let my children grow up that way!

I fully agree with the OP.

You guys are absolutely insane.

Wanting to make other people jealous is the number one motivator in the world.

Nothing else comes close. Nothing.

Without this specific motivation, I bet 95%+ of all great achievements would never have happened.

None of us here are into bodybuilding for any other reason than: we want some people to be attracted to us, and we want some people to be jealous of us.

"I just want to feel good when I look in the mirror. This is for me."

B.S.! You've simply internalized the idea of wanting to appear attractive to others, and you're too out of touch with your own thoughts to even realize.

Rock on, OP. Don't listen to them. Let the revenge motivation burn, man.

This from the man that makes a post asking females to tell him what to be. If you do all this for other people...attention, revenge, whatever, then it's not going to last long. There is no real motivator if the drive does not come from within you.

[Gls133]

Regardless of the reasons that got you in the gym. This iron game is about scrutinizing "self" so drop your bags at the door, have a shake or a chicken wing, and lift some weight.

[mcbourque]

QFT! I want to rep you so hard right now, but I must spread some around.

Got him for you

DSUP,as usual, knows where it's at! Great response!

[SugarFree1]

OP I would suggest starting out with a good trainer/nutritionist to get you started on a good program and diet.

[JungleBoots]

Sorry about your divorce - I've been there, I know it sucks. I also know all about the temptation to show your ex up - dude, its not worth it. she's not worth it and your daughter's happiness, because remember, she is still her mother, is not worth it. You need to focus, and I know it seems clich�, is on you and your daughter - gamesmanship with the ex, while tempting, just leaves you unable to appreciate what you have - take it from a guy who was divorced at 29 - there's no winners here. Even worse is when you're doing this and have kids - put her first.

When I got through my divorce, I went through a very long period of rage, followed by a day where I woke up and said I just don't care anymore - I decided to live for myself, focus on what made me happy and moved on. 3 years later, I met the woman of my dreams, married her, got a phenomenal job and eventually, a beautiful son. I only accomplished this however after I let go of my absolute disgust with my ex wife - you can't be good for anyone, a girlfriend, wife or your daughter until you clean up your ****, son.

As for the workout/calorie advice - good on you for getting interested. There are far more educated folks on this forum who can help you. My only advice on that topic is to read, research, read and research some more. Find programming and diets that work for you and that you know you are capable of sticking with and I assure you, everything else will fall into place.

Good luck

Chris

Hi all, looking for advice -- never thought I'd really post on a fitness forum because I wasn't really interested in being "ripped" or swole or anything like that.

Basically I'm a 37 year old dad. My daughter is 12 now, and I have custody of her (thank god) after divorcing my ex who left me for a 20 year old with a weed habit.
I'm not in the best shape but I figure now that I'm back in the dating game, and if I want to show my ex what's she's now missing out on, I need to get in really good shape. I want to get an even hotter wife and show that woman that she really, really, messed up, but for a woman she made a really typical choice.


I know only small amount about fitness. I want to know about calories, I want to know about carbs vs fats vs proteins, I want to cut back on the drinking so I can get rid of my gut, I wanna go the gym and make the other Gym rats jealous, basically I'm ready to show that woman how wrong she is. I'm not an emotionally absent manchild or a fat slob and she's gonna come crawling back to me.

So yes, bestow upon me your knowledge. I know a little about fitness and theres some stuff I could probably educate you guys on but I'll leave that for later.

[bustasinclair]

Hi all, looking for advice -- never thought I'd really post on a fitness forum because I wasn't really interested in being "ripped" or swole or anything like that.

Basically I'm a 37 year old dad. My daughter is 12 now, and I have custody of her (thank god) after divorcing my ex who left me for a 20 year old with a weed habit.
I'm not in the best shape but I figure now that I'm back in the dating game, and if I want to show my ex what's she's now missing out on, I need to get in really good shape. I want to get an even hotter wife and show that woman that she really, really, messed up, but for a woman she made a really typical choice.


I know only small amount about fitness. I want to know about calories, I want to know about carbs vs fats vs proteins, I want to cut back on the drinking so I can get rid of my gut, I wanna go the gym and make the other Gym rats jealous, basically I'm ready to show that woman how wrong she is. I'm not an emotionally absent manchild or a fat slob and she's gonna come crawling back to me.

So yes, bestow upon me your knowledge. I know a little about fitness and theres some stuff I could probably educate you guys on but I'll leave that for later.

^^This post and your other six posts are indicative of a person in deep denial and most likely completely full of shiit. Good luck.

[JungleBoots]

OR some of us have other motivations. I have a family, friends and a business that depends on my being healthy and alive - I cannot be a leader if I'm sick or dead. I cannot be a friend if Im sick or dead. I cannot be a husband if Im sick or dead. I cannot be a father if Im sick or dead.

attraction is nice, but I know a lot of attractive people I'd rather were removed from the gene pool. Being fit, being the strongest person you and your body are capable of being exudes confidence, power and respect - these things go far and above being attractive.

Revenge keeps you warm at night, I get that, but its a ****ty motivator as its short lived and riddled with disappointment.

I fully agree with the OP.

You guys are absolutely insane.

Wanting to make other people jealous is the number one motivator in the world.

Nothing else comes close. Nothing.

Without this specific motivation, I bet 95%+ of all great achievements would never have happened.

None of us here are into bodybuilding for any other reason than: we want some people to be attracted to us, and we want some people to be jealous of us.

"I just want to feel good when I look in the mirror. This is for me."

B.S.! You've simply internalized the idea of wanting to appear attractive to others, and you're too out of touch with your own thoughts to even realize.

Rock on, OP. Don't listen to them. Let the revenge motivation burn, man.

[JungleBoots]

I disagree.

Dad needs to be a dad - but he's human - any of us are capable of a similar response if our heart is ripped out - divorce, and I don't care how "amicable" it is, always leaves a bitter aftertaste.

He'll get over it. Hell, I had to and I wasn't really into fitness when it happened to me 10 years ago. I can confirm however beyond a shadow of a doubt, what he's feeling is a perfectly normal reaction.

The difference is I didn't have kids at the time. Didn't want them, but having a son now changes my perspective dramatically - he's right to be upset, even a bit childish - but that all goes out the window now with a 12 year old - he has to work THAT much harder and faster to put the ex out of his head and to quote Woody Harrelson - nut up or shut up.

Dad of the year candidate!

your daughter needs help....help leaving your sorry azz..

[JimmyJonny]

I fully agree with the OP.

You guys are absolutely insane.

Wanting to make other people jealous is the number one motivator in the world.

Nothing else comes close. Nothing.

Without this specific motivation, I bet 95%+ of all great achievements would never have happened.

None of us here are into bodybuilding for any other reason than: we want some people to be attracted to us, and we want some people to be jealous of us.

"I just want to feel good when I look in the mirror. This is for me."

B.S.! You've simply internalized the idea of wanting to appear attractive to others, and you're too out of touch with your own thoughts to even realize.

Rock on, OP. Don't listen to them. Let the revenge motivation burn, man.

You don't know your head from your azz.

[Flounderbout]

Emily Thorne does not approve of these messages...

[skilledhunter]

I feel you man. I am 2 months till i turn 50 and going through a divorce of 25 years. I have been training now for 4 years and did not much muscle and was 178lbs 5' 11' over 34" waist when I started ..now i'm 30 inch waist and 155 or a bit lighter and a lot more muscle. I have a small bone structure so 155 looks good on me. I am in the best shape of my life and for the 1st time in my life im proud to take my shirt off. But i did it for me not revenge because revenge is not letting go. Its looking where you have been. Look forward to where you are heading. Yes she will notice but consider that a byproduct of your success not your motivation. But 1st and foremost be a good daddy to your baby. She needs you now more than ever.

[crupiea]

You already got rid of 200 pounds of unwanted fat so great work so far!!.

now get in shape for yourself. you could look like george clooney and she still wont be longing for you like in the movies. There are other reasons you got divorced besides looks.

Just get your mind right and get in shape for yourself.

[DadBod630]

Thanks for the replies. I'm still a lil hungover from last night but today truly is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm going to be sexy again and make my wife wish she had never left me for a scrawny drug addict.

[shaneinga]

Is post divorce fitness different from standard fitness? Seriously though man, use whatever motivation you need to get it done. I would keep it positive though, I would hate to use something negative as motivation every time I went to lift weights.

It sounds like a drag.

[Flounderbout]

Thanks for the replies. I'm still a lil hungover from last night but today truly is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm going to be sexy again and make my wife wish she had never left me for a scrawny drug addict.

Did you read any of the replies? I am starting to understand the attraction of the pot-head.

[Jtbny]

Did you read any of the replies? I am starting to understand the attraction of the pot-head.

Don't feed the troll you apostrophe nazi!

[Greginto]

Did you read any of the replies? I am starting to understand the attraction of the pot-head.

Don't feed the trolls.

[ElrondHubbard]

I disagree.

Dad needs to be a dad - but he's human - any of us are capable of a similar response if our heart is ripped out - divorce, and I don't care how "amicable" it is, always leaves a bitter aftertaste.

He'll get over it. Hell, I had to and I wasn't really into fitness when it happened to me 10 years ago. I can confirm however beyond a shadow of a doubt, what he's feeling is a perfectly normal reaction.

The difference is I didn't have kids at the time. Didn't want them, but having a son now changes my perspective dramatically - he's right to be upset, even a bit childish - but that all goes out the window now with a 12 year old - he has to work THAT much harder and faster to put the ex out of his head and to quote Woody Harrelson - nut up or shut up.

Yeah, it's a natural response, but the sooner he puts it behind him he better off he'll be.

But I know, easier said than done.

[kimm4]

I fully agree with the OP.

You guys are absolutely insane.

Wanting to make other people jealous is the number one motivator in the world.

Nothing else comes close. Nothing.

Without this specific motivation, I bet 95%+ of all great achievements would never have happened.

None of us here are into bodybuilding for any other reason than: we want some people to be attracted to us, and we want some people to be jealous of us.

"I just want to feel good when I look in the mirror. This is for me."

B.S.! You've simply internalized the idea of wanting to appear attractive to others, and you're too out of touch with your own thoughts to even realize.

Rock on, OP. Don't listen to them. Let the revenge motivation burn, man.

The teen section would be better suited for you.

Jesus...

[DadBod630]

Did you read any of the replies? I am starting to understand the attraction of the pot-head.

I read them and I respect the opinions of you all but I don't care about them. I know what I have to do. This thread is about me planning out how I'm going to get fit (if you wanna call that "revenge" then whatever) with minimal input from you guys.